Erik Bedard is headed to the DL. The Bedarded they come, the Bedarded they fall. So, he has a sprained knee. “Ow, I think I hurt myself getting onto the examination table to have you check my shoulder.” That’s Bedard at the doctor’s office. Right now, the Erich Bedardens are showing the Bennis Carpensheeters a thing or two about staying unhealthy. Keep it sickly, Bedardens! Will be interesting to see if the M’s fill Bedard’s rotation spot with Chris Tillman– Oh, wait. At least the Mariners still have Adam Jones– Oh, that’s right. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Dustin Ackley – Slam and legs with the lefty-on-lefty HR against Everyday Jonny Venters. He’s hitting 5th now for the Mariners, which is like hitting 10th for the Yankees. That said, any MI who can hit 10th for the Yankees, is pretty damn good.
Carlos Carrasco – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks. Carrasco’s getting hitters with his unique blend of salt, vinegar and cayenne peppers, and moving up the Scoville scale, so to speak. Carrasco was always a regarded prospect and it looks like he’s finally putting it together. I’ll buy it. Masterson, I will also buy. Tomlin, I do not buy. Carmona’s crizzap even if he has potential closnarl. That’s a scary-faced closer. Valverde has mad closnarl.
Stephen Drew – 1-for-4 and his 5th home run. He has a .266 average and about six years worth of hope wasted. The one positive for Drew’s owners or wannabe owners is he tends to have a solid 2nd half.
Tim Stauffer – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks. His season ERA is 2.97, solid Ks and a 1.19 WHIP. Yeah, that’s better than the fifth starter on your fantasy team. Hodgepadre, shmodgepadre. He should just be owned.
Anthony Rizzo – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and a steal. Now batting .175 with one home run. It’s rookie nookie, you gotta decide if it’s worth the blisters.
Rubby de la Rosa – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks. Speaking of blisters, Rubby’s K:BB isn’t good at all, but his K-rate is nice. To get less statistically abbreviated on you, I like him in very deep leagues, but not in any other ones for right now.
Ben Revere – 2-for-3 with his 9th steal in 40 games, and third steal in the last two games. The concussed Span’s got the spins and could be out for a year or two if we’re to believe Morneau’s case example of being a Marblehead. Whoa, burn! In the mean’s while, Revere keeping his Somerville’d by lacing up his cleats and Salem from base to base. Hey, you’re nobody until you’re Peabody.
Scott Baker – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks. ERA is 3.15, 1.19 WHIP and 101 Ks in 105 2/3 IP. Props need to go out to Rudy on Baker. Back in April, Rudy said, “Baker has shown the potential to rise to another level (1.19 WHIP in 2009) but has been generally plagued by bad innings and gopheritis. I’m sure I’m in the minority on this one but I’d rather have Baker than Liriano this year.” And that’s me quoting Rudy! Then I followed that up with a Buy article about Baker on April 22nd and again on April 29th. It’s all there, search the site.
Alex Presley – 0-for-3 and a steal. Not much to say here other than PICK HIM UP. (Caps for emphasis, not aesthetics.) Sorry, but I love seeing guys give fantasy value when they go oh-fer. Shows me they’re really concerned for our fantasy teams’ well-being.
Eric Thames – 1-for-4 with a home run. Hitting near .350 over the last week. Could be a nice HBI (Hot Bat Injection) for those who need some power.
Brandon Morrow – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks. [drooling] Brandon Morrow now has 91 Ks in 75 IP. [/drooling]
Andre Ethier – 0-for-4, 3 Ks. Yesterday, Tristan Cockcroft pointed out Ethier as a guy that is overrated. I said that back in February. (I know I said that too about Bautista. Remember, I’m the one carrying the cross.)
Jayson Werth – Out with a bad hip. Could be side-whined for a few days.
Ryan Franklin – Released by the Cardinals. Take it one day at a time, Ryan. Like your mom, Bonnie Franklin.
Colby Rasmus – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 2nd home run in as many games. Geiger, let’s go!
Chris Carpenter – 9 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks as he threw 132 pitches. I wonder if La Russa will let Carpenter hammer the last nail in his coffin.
Ryan Dempster – 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks. Easy matchup vs. the Giants but he still has some correcting to do with his 4.99 ERA. I like him to get it down to around 4.00.
Josh Johnson – Saw Dr. Freeze and he found nothing but still shutdown Johnson for ten days. A doctor’s gotta maintain his rep, I suppose. “Don’t waste my time, Josh Johnson! You’re grounded for 10 days. Yes, that includes playing catch. Yes, it’s fine to call your friend James Van Der Beek. I don’t care if your friend Katie Holmes’ husband told you the pain is mental.” Or if you prefer, “Tonight, a freeze is coming.”
Shaun Marcum – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks in The House They Built Next To The House Ruth Built. Wasn’t an easy matchup, but I’m concerned Marcum isn’t fully healthy.
Jordan Zimmermann – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. Now has a 2.63 ERA on the year. February Grey told everyone to have Zimmermann or Beachy as their last starter. February Grey, “Actually, I told everyone Zimmermann and Mike Minor, but then March Grey told everyone to switch it out with Beachy. Carry on, June Grey, enjoy your last day!”
Dan Haren – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks. ERA is now at 2.85. I’ve been deliberating whether to tell you Haren’s going to have a 2nd half slide. I’ll let you know what verdict the jury brings back.
Vance Worley – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. Walks too many, and he’s been getting lucky. If you trust him, you’re gonna get roofied and that’s gonna hurt your naughty bits.
Raul Ibanez – 3-for-3 with a slam and legs. Has been getting benched because of his slump but this game might be the sign of an upcoming hot streak. Stay tuned! Or not. Your choice.
Antonio Bastardo – Recorded the save yesterday for the Phillies. After the game, Charlie Manuel, wearing overalls and no shirt, said something but failed to remove the piece of hay from his mouth so no one’s sure what he said.
Jonny Venters – 1 IP, 2 ER. I think the Braves are going to kill him from overuse then strap him to the roof of their station wagon as they head off to Wally World.
Chipper Jones – Glass Chipper is having knee pain. It’s a wonder he ever makes it out of bed.
Ty Wigginton – 1-for-3 with guess what? Yup.
Jason Giambi – 2-for-3 with his 9th homer. Having a much better season than Morneau. Stab me in the eye.
Phil Hughes – Threw a solid start in rehab. Why’s he pitching against a bunch of recovering drug addicts? Inner voice, “It’s not that rehab!” Um, right. So I’m not a fan of Hughes for this year, told you to steer clear of him in the preseason, and don’t have high hopes for him when he returns. With that said — yeah, I’m about to retract everything I just said — I’d stash him on my bench if I had room.
Clay Buchholz – As ESPN will tell you, with every Yankee mention, there needs to be a Red Sox mention. Buchholz felt back pain on Tuesday and says he won’t return before the All-Star Game. Too bad, so sad.
Ian Kinsler – 2-for-4 and 2 home runs. Hayzeus Cristo, it took him long enough to get hot again. Hang on for an eight homer month, assuming he stays healthy.
Jason Bay – 1-2 with 4 BBs, 3 Runs, and 2 SBs. Since he’s not hitting any HRs, he’s reinventing himself as a leadoff hitter. He better not want Crawford money – oh wait, the Mets are kind of paying him that already.
Angel Pagan – The oxymoron went 4-for-6 with 3 runs and 4 RBIs. Dan Brown is writing a book as we speak called Angels & Pagans. In the plot, the Catholic Church is involved in a conspiracy that is thwarted by a Latin outfielder and Mr. Met.
