Scott Rolen says he’s going to try to avoid the DL because of his hamstring. Dusty said, “Too bad he can’t pitch because they don’t use their legs. Except in soccer.” It doesn’t sound too promising for Rolen. Injuries are old hat for Rolen. He makes everyone else besides Glass Chipper seem healthy. On top of the injury, Rolen was hitting .182 in July with zero homers. If I owned him, I’d hope he went to the DL, so I can store him on my DL while grabbing another player. Either way, I’d start making other plans because a Rolen that’s playing injured isn’t an exciting hitter to have on your team. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Drew Stubbs – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th steal to go along with his 13 homers. He’s batting .500 over the last week and has been valuable the whole year, even with the ridiculous amount of strikeouts. Would’ve been a good player to fingercuff.
Jonny Gomes – 3-for-4, 3 Runs and his 2nd home run in the last three games. The Reds are 2nd in the majors with home, er, homers and top five in hitting overall. If you want to know how the Blue Jays would be if they were in the NL Central, look no further.
Dexter Fowler – Didn’t start in yesterday’s game and was seen icing his knee. Who does he think he is, Duff Goldman?
Ubaldo Jimenez – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks. You’re feeling a little silly if back in May you named your kid, Ubaldo.
Troy Tulowitzki – Could return as soon as next Wednesday. I was trying to acquire him last week, but wasn’t able to. Maybe you give it a whirlski?
Mike Stanton – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer. Still only batting .235 on the year, but watching him hit makes me think he can be a 30 homer guy as early as next year. Yes, at 21. Could be a great one for a long time.
Brandon Inge – Out for 4-6 weeks with a broken pinkie. Inky, Blinky and Clyde are said to be fine. The other day I was just thinking to myself that I can’t believe I have Inge on a team considering how yawnstipating he’s been this year. Way to kick me in the ass to look for something better on waivers. Now if only Chone Figgins would get knocked out for 6 weeks too.
Roy Oswalt – Says he’ll make his next start. To read between the words, he’s saying, “God, yes, I’m healthy, now someone please trade for me.”
Wade Davis – 8 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks. Now has back-to-back quality starts after rumors started flying that Hellickson would be called up to replace him. Guess he needed Hellickson to light a fire under him. (<–sorta pun! You know, fire under him… Hellickson… Yeah, if you have to explain it, you probably shouldn’t bother.) On a more serious note, Davis has been terrible this year. An under 6 K/9, around a 4 BB/9. Really uninspiring numbers. Will be hard to recommend him next year if he doesn’t step up his game.
Evan Longoria – 3-for-5 with his 14th steal to go along with his 13 homers. Wait, I know this one! That’s David Wright! Pretty cool impersonation. Okay, Victorino’s out-homering you, how about you start hitting some home runs? Thank you.
Yunel Escobar – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer in two games. After the game, he dedicated today’s home run to ‘the Cox that said I don’t care.’ Yes, you should pick up Yunel. Never underestimate a talented, unmotivated guy who’s suddenly motivated. See contract years of Beltre and brief moments of sanity by Milton Bradley.
Daniel Hudson – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks. Now has 10 Ks in 10 2/3 innings, but he’s giving up far too many baserunners. If this wasn’t the M’s in Safeco (the worst home hitting team in the majors), I’d consider it a bigger step in the right direction. BTW, Daniel’s middle name is Clairborne. Hehe… Dork!
Aramis Ramirez – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs with his 12th home run. See what he’s doing now? He’s roping you in for next year. I can see it already. Random fantasy ‘pert, “Blah blah blah A-Ram’s 2nd half numbers blah blah blah.”
Carlos Silva – 1 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners. I think if I were selling my soul, I would’ve asked to be good for the whole season instead of just the 1st half.
Mark Reynolds – 3-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 21st homer as Ian Stewart also went yard for his 12th homer. Winning Daily Double Donkey Day tickets can now be redeemed.
Scott Baker – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, 13 baserunners, 1 K. Nice that Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome is pitching friendly for the visitors. Just swell. Bravo on a terrific season, Baker. Please take a lap around the puma cage at your local zoo.
Miguel Cabrera – 3-for-6 with 2 homers. How funny will it be if Soberera misses out on the Triple Crown because Bautista leads the league in homers?
Brennan Boesch – 1-for-7. He was in last week’s Sell. Yup.
Nelson Cruz – 3-for-6, 4 RBIs with his 12th homer and 11th steal. Personally, I’m just happy any day he’s healthy. All you have to do is show up in the Rangers lineup and you get a few RBIs and Runs. Well, except for…
Chris Davis – 0-for-7. Ticker two seasons! When can we just lump him in with Chris Shelton? I’m not bluffin’ on Davis’ nothin’.
Chris Johnson – 3-for-5 with his first career homer. Now has a four game hitting streak, and he’s playing every day. I wouldn’t go near him yet in anything but deep leagues, but he’s worth watching.
Jon Rauch – 1 IP, 2 ER. Now back-to-back Kazaams!
Justin Morneau – Will miss another week of games due to his concussion, but the Twins aren’t sure as Gardenhire said, “No one knows. The doctors can only guess too.” If I had known guessing was all that was involved, I would’ve stuck the course with pre-med. Another thing I wish someone told me.
Ryan Sweeney – Tough blow for the A’s as they lose their number three hitter to season-ending surgery. He was on pace for 2 homers, 0 steals and 50 RBIs. Okay, all kidding aside, but was he on pace to be the worst three hitter in the history of the game?
Chris Capuano – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks vs. a Dreadless Pirate lineup. I see you moving your cursor towards picking up Capuano. Stop and back away from your computer. Go splash some coffee on your face. You’re sleepwalking.
Prince Fielder – 1-for-4 with his third homer in 3 games. Last week I traded for Fielder in a league where I needed power. I sent Berkman and The Adverb for Chubb Rock and Ben Sheets. Not exactly a humdinger. Really a needs trade. I needs me some power and the other guy needs him some pitching. First time I’ve owned Sheets in probably four years. If it wasn’t a 20 team league, I would’ve dropped him. I benched him yesterday, if you’re keeping score during this roundup.
Madison Bumgarner – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks. Doesn’t his name sound made up? Like it’s a gag name Bart Simpson would have Moe announce to the bar.
Manny Ramirez – Headed for another MRI and might need to go back to the DL. Don’t even tell me Vladimir Shpunt is a quack.
James McDonald – 5 IP, 4 ER, 11 baserunners, 5 Ks. He should be able to strikeout around 8 K/9, but he had a 4+ ERA in the minors this year. I wouldn’t expect him to do better in La La Land. Could be a decent gamble in H2H and NL-Only leagues, but I’d hold off for now in roto mixed leagues.
Jose Reyes – 2-for-5 as the Mets announced Reyes is only a few days away from returning.
Mike Pelfrey – 1 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 9 baserunners, 1 K. As I said three weeks ago, “I just popped a zit in the mirror and spelled out, “You can probably do better than Pelfrey.”” And that’s me quoting my zit!
Jayson Nix – 3-for-6, 2 RBIs while Jason Donald went 2-for-5 with 2 RBIs as they battle it out to see who sits when Asdrubal returns. You can stack Nix vs. Donald right up there with some of the classic battles of all-time like Ali vs. Frazier or Sam vs. Frasier.
