The Longoria Whining Thread

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AdmiralTrey
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The Longoria Whining Thread

Postby AdmiralTrey » Sat Aug 07, 2010 12:24 pm

I need Longoria to hit HR's, so I'm going to whine about how bad he is here.

I mean what's his problem? 5 HR's in his last 57 games? I thought I drafted Evan Longoria at 3rd, not Placido Polanco.


Here's a quick list of 3B-eligible players with more HR's in the last month:

Jose Bautista, Adrian Beltre, Pedro Alvarez, Aramis Ramirez, Mark Reynolds, Ian Stewart, Bill Hall, Chris Johnson, Ryan Zimmerman, Chipper Jones, Gordon Beckham, Michael Young, Jhonny Peralta, Chase Headly, Alex Rodriguez, Jeff Keppinger, David Wright, Andy Marte, Juan Uribe, Ty Wiggington, Michael Cuddyer, Alex Gordon, Eric Hinske, Martin Prado.


So... Two rookies in Alvarez/Johnson, A piece of glass in Chipper, A handful of utility guys and some guys that don't even play every day (Uribe, Keppinger, Hall, Peralta, Keppinger, Marte, Uribe, Wigginton, Hinske), and a top prospect that has busted harder than a water pipe in Antarctica.



Evan Longoria is the worst baseball player ever, and he will never hit another HR as long as he lives.

12 Team H2H, 4 unrestricted keepers
C - Mike Napoli
1B - Eric Hosmer
2B - Jedd Gyorko
3B - Todd Frazier
SS - Jhonny Peralta
OF - Ryan Braun
OF - Mike Trout
OF - Shin-Soo Choo
UTL - Brett Lawrie
UTL - Adam LaRoche
Bench - Austin Jackson
DL - Aaron Hill Hanley Ramirez

SP - Clayton Kershaw, Madison Bumgarner, Ubaldo Jimenez, Jhoulys Chacin, Ervin Santana
RP - Glen Perkins, Heath Bell, Jose Veras, Ernesto Fireri, Edward Mujica, Carlos Marmol, J.J. Putz

RCL - Cracking the WHIP - Admiral Trey
C - Yadier Molina
1B - Albert Pujols
2B - Jose Altuve
3B - Jedd Gyorko
SS - Jimmy Rollins
MI - Everth Cabrera
CI - Justin Morneau
OF - Jason Heyward, Shin-Soo Choo, Michael Morse, Nick Swisher, Ben Revere
UTL - Kendrys Morales
Bench - Garrett Jones, David Freese


SP - Justin Verlander, Cliff Lee, Ryan Dempster, Ubaldo Jimenez
RP - Jonathan Papelbon, John Axford, Glen Perkins, Ryan Cook, David Robertson

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Grey
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Re: The Longoria Whining Thread

Postby Grey » Sat Aug 07, 2010 6:58 pm

AdmiralTrey wrote:I need Longoria to hit HR's, so I'm going to whine about how bad he is here.

I mean what's his problem? 5 HR's in his last 57 games? I thought I drafted Evan Longoria at 3rd, not Placido Polanco.


Here's a quick list of 3B-eligible players with more HR's in the last month:

Jose Bautista, Adrian Beltre, Pedro Alvarez, Aramis Ramirez, Mark Reynolds, Ian Stewart, Bill Hall, Chris Johnson, Ryan Zimmerman, Chipper Jones, Gordon Beckham, Michael Young, Jhonny Peralta, Chase Headly, Alex Rodriguez, Jeff Keppinger, David Wright, Andy Marte, Juan Uribe, Ty Wiggington, Michael Cuddyer, Alex Gordon, Eric Hinske, Martin Prado.


So... Two rookies in Alvarez/Johnson, A piece of glass in Chipper, A handful of utility guys and some guys that don't even play every day (Uribe, Keppinger, Hall, Peralta, Keppinger, Marte, Uribe, Wigginton, Hinske), and a top prospect that has busted harder than a water pipe in Antarctica.



Evan Longoria is the worst baseball player ever, and he will never hit another HR as long as he lives.


Ha, nice rant.
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If you only have one team, post your team in your signature with the league parameters.
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cpomar
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Re: The Longoria Whining Thread

Postby cpomar » Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:42 am

nice thread title, too. Well played.
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives Hedley Lamarr
But, and this is a J. Lo-sized but, when I can buy food and you give me the balance from a $5 coupon, you’ve won my heart. G. Albright
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nfluxus
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Re: The Longoria Whining Thread

Postby nfluxus » Sun Aug 08, 2010 1:16 pm

I benched him not too long ago because I was tired of his 0fer metrosexuality, and... he it a homerun got himself a couple rbis and a couple runs.

I hate him. My dogs hate him. My goldfish hates him. Mother Teresa (God rest her soul) hates him.

I'm glad you whined about this because, as we all know, while whining is not attractive, it is somehow very effective. I look forward to the positive results.

~Elizabeth

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AdmiralTrey
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Re: The Longoria Whining Thread

Postby AdmiralTrey » Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:55 pm

nfluxus wrote:I benched him not too long ago because I was tired of his 0fer metrosexuality, and... he it a homerun got himself a couple rbis and a couple runs.

I hate him. My dogs hate him. My goldfish hates him. Mother Teresa (God rest her soul) hates him.

I'm glad you whined about this because, as we all know, while whining is not attractive, it is somehow very effective. I look forward to the positive results.

~Elizabeth


Indeed, my Jay Bruce whining thread was very effective for a short time... Unfortunately, you have to really whine consistently to get your players to perform well all season long.

If we all work together, I'm sure we can get Longoria to 35 HR's by the end of the year... Lets get to work!

12 Team H2H, 4 unrestricted keepers
C - Mike Napoli
1B - Eric Hosmer
2B - Jedd Gyorko
3B - Todd Frazier
SS - Jhonny Peralta
OF - Ryan Braun
OF - Mike Trout
OF - Shin-Soo Choo
UTL - Brett Lawrie
UTL - Adam LaRoche
Bench - Austin Jackson
DL - Aaron Hill Hanley Ramirez

SP - Clayton Kershaw, Madison Bumgarner, Ubaldo Jimenez, Jhoulys Chacin, Ervin Santana
RP - Glen Perkins, Heath Bell, Jose Veras, Ernesto Fireri, Edward Mujica, Carlos Marmol, J.J. Putz

RCL - Cracking the WHIP - Admiral Trey
C - Yadier Molina
1B - Albert Pujols
2B - Jose Altuve
3B - Jedd Gyorko
SS - Jimmy Rollins
MI - Everth Cabrera
CI - Justin Morneau
OF - Jason Heyward, Shin-Soo Choo, Michael Morse, Nick Swisher, Ben Revere
UTL - Kendrys Morales
Bench - Garrett Jones, David Freese


SP - Justin Verlander, Cliff Lee, Ryan Dempster, Ubaldo Jimenez
RP - Jonathan Papelbon, John Axford, Glen Perkins, Ryan Cook, David Robertson

BlueJays
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Re: The Longoria Whining Thread

Postby BlueJays » Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:18 pm

Sorry, I have hexed Longoria for ruining Morrow's no-hitter today. He is bound for a hilarious season-ending fishing injury.


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