BRANFORD, Conn. – Mouses clicked, heads swirled, and that annoying ESPN theme song played over and over again as the RCL2 draft took place on Sunday night. A quick recap below details some highlights, and lowlights, from what was a challenging exercise.

Most Likely to Pay a Hooker for Power Numbers
Goes to NY NikcKnacks for following up a back-to-back of Joe Mauer and Jacoby Ellsbury in the first two rounds with six straight pitchers: Jon Lester, Adam Wainwright, Chris Carpenter, Jonathan Broxton, Ricky Nolasco, and Tommy Hanson. Remarkably, the Knacks refused to chase power later in the draft, selecting corners James Loney, Todd Helton, and, yes, Adam Kennedy. When I say, “Punt,” you say, “Hitting!”

Sixth Round Pick, Second Round Value
The Vindictive Hoes (must be the result of an extra strong pimp hand) were able to lure Curtis Granderson on a "date" with the 67th pick, which is nearly two rounds later than he was going last year, ya know, before the hype train cometh.

Most Likely to Break the Monitor
Not sure if it was a network connectivity hiccup or living under a rock for the past month that convinced Turnip of Power to select done-for-the-season Joe Nathan in the fourth round. By way of silver lining, at least Team Turnip won’t have to suffer watching Nathan give up another walk-off win to the Yankees in 2010.

Country Strong Power Base
The Stoner Funnies boast corners of Miguel Cabrera, Evan Longoria, and Adam Dunn. According to Grey-senpai, that’s 285/111/330 in the bank on three dudes. Wow.

All-Reach Team Award
Goes to Slowey Train Coming for its premature selections of Gordon Beckham (68th), Asdrubal Cabrera (80), Chris Davis (89), Alcides Escobar (104), and Brandon Webb (113). The Train might’ve come quickly, but at least it lasted a good five rounds.

Don’t Let This Guy Near Vegas
Hopefully the prognosticator behind the New York Knights’ first three selections (7, 18, and 31 overall) of David Wright, Ian Kinsler, and B.J. Upton is correct. Otherwise, it could be a very long season for a New York squad not named the Mets. Double down!

Nice, that was entertaining.

Since I've been dubbed the league gambler, I figured I would post my draft:

New York Knights
7 David Wright, NYM 3B
18 Ian Kinsler, Tex 2B
31 B.J. Upton, TB OF
42 Justin Morneau, Min 1B
55 Nick Markakis, Bal OF
66 Andre Ethier, LAD OF
79 Lance Berkman*, Hou 1B
90 Wandy Rodriguez, Hou SP
103 Andrew McCutchen, Pit OF
114 James Shields, TB SP
127 Michael Cuddyer, Min 1B
138 Stephen Drew, Ari SS
151 Max Scherzer, Det SP
162 Rich Harden, Tex SP
175 John Danks, CWS SP
186 Geovany Soto, ChC C
199 Matt Capps, Was RP
210 Rickie Weeks, Mil 2B
223 Mark DeRosa, SF 3B
234 Matt Lindstrom, Hou RP
247 Ervin Santana, LAA SP
258 Vicente Padilla, LAD SP
271 Joba Chamberlain, NYY SP
282 Matt Guerrier, Min RP
295 Takashi Saito, Atl RP

I've already dropped Saito for Hafner since Berkman is likely headed to the DL. Was going to wait until he hit the DL, but I wanted to pounce on Hafner.

You have some early injury risks and there's a lot of names I don't like on your team, but you probably know that from reading the site. You might not have a 30 homer hitter on your team. Overall, the hitting looks low on power. The pitching could be an issue too with Wandy and Shields trying to anchor the staff. You're gonna need some good pick ups and some luck. Now your chance to prove me wrong.

Well, it has less to do with proving you wrong, and more to do with finding value. I figured a draft full of devoted Razzball followers would all be targeting "Grey Players" and I didn't want to do too much reaching. Interestingly enough, someone totaled the cumulative point shares for each team and I ended up in the top 3:

Pointshare/Team
-26.67 Old Glory
-5.93 Peavey
-20.35 Schmohawk
-12.63 Critter
-5.22 NY Knights
-16.42 Slowey
-9.11 Stoner
-12.09 NY Nicknacks
-21.73 Bee
-0.65 Turnip
-24.43 Shoguns
-15.37 Vindictive

But I agree with your assessment overall. I do lack big time power (although I do think my power is more evenly distributed rather than concentrated in a few mashers, which helps mitigate some of the risks I took,) but I think I can be competitive in the category without winning. As for my pitching, I'm used to the critiques; this is my way. Thanks for your feedback.

One week down, 25 to go. Yep, that’s right. There’s 96% of the season left. Well, that’s a tremendous fact for some teams in RCL2 and a sobering one for others. We visited with a couple of owners* for the week one recap.

SC: First stop is with RCL2’s fourth-place squad Peavy On The Radio. Is that a TV On The Radio reference? Have they yet returned from Cookie Mountain? What I do know for sure is that they haven’t put an album out since 2008. Speaking of useless for a couple of years, I see the Vernon Wells is leading the league in every offensive statistic. How do you feel about Vernon going forward?

POTR: Well, to be honest, we drafted Vernon for exactly this reason. Given his current pace, empirical data suggests that he’ll hit somewhere between 125 and 132 HRs, which is exactly the hole we were looking to fill. We’re confident that Pujols is good for 50, and we were really out shopping the draft for a complementary power guy. That’s Vernon.

SC: Peavy On The Radio? You don’t even own Jake Peavy. Is it good form to have your team name be a play on a player that you don’t roster? Follow up question, how do you feel about rostering a pair of Astros that combined to go 5-for-44 this week (.113)?

POTR: Well, the name clearly coincides with the last time that TOtR was relevant on the music scene, which fits perfectly with Jake whether I own him or not. Much like Vernon, we expect that Carlos Lee’s career is largely finished and Hunter Pence is due for a disaster season. Shouldn’t a guy with a name like Hunter Pence be playing lacrosse or hockey anyway?

SC: Mike Gonzalez, Trevor Hoffman, and Carlos Zambrano all on the same team? Is that a punt ERA and WHIP strategy in play?

POTR: We were hit hard this week in the pitching categories. After all, who could ever expect that only drafting closers after the 15th round could cause someone to roll up and take a dump on our ratios? Good thing we spent that high draft pick on Johan to calm things down.

SC: Thanks. Good luck this season.

SC: Next we visit with the Shoguns of Harlem. It’s a real pleasure to sit down with da man, da legend, da mastah –

SOH: -- Now, when I say, "Who's da mastah?" you say, "Sho'nuff!"

SC: Sho’nuff!!!

SC: You’re in first place after the first week. Would it be a surprise to say you saw this coming?

SOH: Am I the meanest? (Sho’nuff!) Am I the prettiest? (Sho’nuff!) Am I the baddest mofo low down ‘round this town? (Sho’nuff!) Well, who am I? (Sho’nuff!)

SC: I once heard an advertisement asking me to direct-a my feets-a to Daddy Green’s Pizza. How do you feel about the direction of the Shoguns?

SOH: Kiss my Converse! Maggio Ordonez is headed for a huge season. See, sucka, he and I done found the Fountain of Youth.

SC: I heard that Grey Albright is the Bruce Leroy of fantasy baseballers. Are you concerning about his advice toppling your reign?

SOH: I ain’t scared of dat limp wimp. I know he says that your bench should consist of pitching, so I fill it with offense. I know that he says that Chone Figgins is a recipe for sixth place, but he’s my corner infidel. 60% of my outfield is comprised of Rajai Davis, Ryan Ludwick, and Magglio. Most fools think they aren’t ownable. Who is the one and only master?

SC: Sho’nuff!

*No actual interviews were conducted.

Awesome update! Thanks!

100 Virgins In Paradise

Shoguns of Harlem have eclipsed the century mark.

Granted it would appear a hell of a lot less fluky if their roster wasn’t littered with guys like Juan Uribe, Magglio Ordonez, Cody Ross, and Jose Guillen. Are we sure this guy isn’t playing for the Razzball Hot Tub Time Machine? Those are guys are combined age of 453 and boast a combined skill set of Blah/Blech/Belch/No/Vomit.

Jose “I Shouldn’t Be Alive” Guillen just hit another HR as I’m typing this. For real. @TOR on 4/20. Out of pure spite.

What’s the lesson to be taken out of this? Grasshopper, the lesson is two-fold: (1) it ain’t about the names; it’s about the stats; (2) at least 20% of your team ain’t worth crap, ain’t doin crap, and won’t do crap.

As JC Chasez would say on ABDC, “Y’all need to step it up!” Realize that whatever pot of gold you’re waiting for at the end of your rainbow isn’t going to fetch itself without a creepy leprechaun in your corner. Go get that leprechaun!

Questions of sustainability aside, Sho’nuff owns us. Let’s change this. Lie, cheat, steal, collude. Do whatever it takes. No one reaches 100 again. Out.

Great pic.