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Clay Aching to Fill Sox Gloryholz
# 1 Turnip Says: July 22nd, 2009 at 3:30 am
How do you come up with them there wacky post titles? Because you seem like a busy guy who probably has the entire MLB package on cable. Do you just THINK funny things all day? That’s the job to have; be the go to guy who delivers the line. Like there’s a room full of razzball writers all sittin’ round eating beef jerky and mouthin’ witty post titles. Then the closer walks into the room and delivers “the line”. Everyone just sits there silently nodding their heads in awe like Matt Berry bobblehead night. Is that you Grey? Are you that closer guy?
Thought I'd take a stroll down memory lane:
Later, Joe Blowrowski
F-Her ‘N the A’s
Scherzer Schtarts
Cliff Lee Cures Blindness
Jonesing For Chipper
Buy Alexis For The Price Of a Toyota
Brawl Four
Joba the Hurt
Karabell’s a Wanksta On my way back from a charity fundraiser for koalas who are addicted to pot (This is why koalas sleep 23 hours a day!), I started thinking about the ways I could make this a better world — in addition to the koala relief work.
CC Signs After Reggie Mentions Candy Bar Opportunity: On Tuesday, Brian Cashman, the Yankees GM, flew to California to speak with CC Sabathia about him signing with the Yankees. The conversation went like this:
“I wanna play on the West Coast.”
“We can have In N Out Burger shipped to the East Coast.”
“Same day?”
“Don’t get greedy.”
CC opens up the book he’s been reading, How to Serve the Rally Monkey.
“Fine, next day.”
“CC’s a Yank!”
Cole In Oscopy
Oblique Hassles The Hoff Where have all the groin pulls gone?
Glove Is In The Air
Attention Deficit Drops You have ADD and you have no idea how this sentence will end because you’re already reading the comments. You drafted Hanley and traded him for Bonifacio. You’re glad Marco Scutaro has 3rd base eligibility so you can drop Chris Davis. Webb is lucky he was DL’d because you were about to drop him for Kevin Millwood. You’re trigger finger is itching and only Nyjer Morgan can scratch it. You’re also potentially losing your league in April.
Papi Goes The Weasel And David Ortiz goes pop. For Patriots’ Day, the Sawx had a special throwback day where Varitek went yard, Pedroia acted like an MVP and David Ortiz acted less jenky than he had all season.
Cuban Missile Crisis For owners bemoaning Al-Ram’s bad start, it could be worse. You could have Whore-Ram (Horacio Ramirez). (BTW, only fantasy baseball could convince a straight man that a Man-Ram is more preferable to a Whore-Ram. BTW II, How do you go from a Whore-Ram to a Man-Ram? An Ass-Cab (Asdrubal Cabrera).) Or you could have Ram-Ram. (Boston’s Ramon Ramirez who, actually, is 1-0 with 8 scoreless innings…damn Ram-Ram!)
Doumit All To Hell!
Chris Davis Slims Down AVG On Special K Diet Chris Davis has 42 Ks in 88 ABs. That’s a pace of about 300 Ks.
Catch Me If You McCann ...Well, going into that year, I discovered girls. And all of their fleshy parts. But I also needed glasses. Who was I? Chris Sabo? Chris Sabo got laid once. And he paid for it. So I took the easy way out and never wore my glasses. My baseball career paid for it big time. But I touched a boob!
Luke Warm on Hochevar
Court Lester
Wieters Washes Up On Chesapeake From Hype-o-Cane
Jake and the Fatman Carlos Zambrano in his own special way welcomed the Cubs new arrival, Jake Fox, with a shizzfit of epic proportions. Zambrano was ejected for bumping an ump, I especially enjoyed when the ump ejected him and he then ejected the ump. I’m out of order? No, YOU’RE out of order! Somewhere Michael Barrett flinched. Jake Fox can do it all. And, like Tyra Banks would say, he can do it fiercely.
Kelvim’s at Absolute Zero
Romero Is No Joker
Buy It Like Beckham
Brewers Float Up the Fe-Lopezian Tubes
The Classic of Classics:
Downs Goes… Frasor!
What's your favorite?
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