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Gerald Laird? Yeah, he’s serviceable. Jarrod Saltimbocca? He was enticing enough to get from the Braves and he’s wonderful with broccoli rabe. Taylor Teagarden? Grand slam yesterday. For his sixth HR in 12 games. Before you rush out to pickup Teagarden, see 1/18 of a centimeter after this period. Max Ramirez, the future at catcher for the Rangers, was called up on Monday night. This gives the Rangers three promising catchers, a fourth usable catcher and no pitchers. Let’s see, the last three World Champions have had Varitek, Pierzynski and one of The Flying Molina Bros. Usable pieces, for sure, but not exactly the cogs that made the offense work. Earth to the Rangers, wtf? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ted Lilly – 7 IP, 1 hit allowed, 9 Ks. The Astros might officially be in a bit of a slump. No worries, Astros fans. Major League Baseball decided the Astros last homestand of the season will take place in Minute Maid Park, but can only be attended by fans showing up at the park in a Cubs jersey.

Ned Yost – Not really fantasy news other than to say the Brewers players have been simultaneously sucking and blowing for about two weeks now. Oh, and check out the poll on the right.

Matt Antonelli – First major league home run. Nick Tortelli still has zero.

Derrek Lee – First home run since August 22nd and the 2nd home run since July 27th. Now if he hits twenty more this week, all will be forgiven.

Brad Hennessey – 8 IP, 3 ER. A Diamondbacks team that is averaging about two runs a game for the last week made Hennessey look like cognac, but he’s really Mad Dog 20/20.

Chad Qualls – Got the save. If there was any doubt, he’s officially the Diamondbacks closer. Recognize!

Dontrelle Willis – 5 walks tell the story. The story is, “Don’t Pick Up Dontrelle.”

Juan Pierre – HR yesterday. Looks Rudy Gamble underestimated Juan Pierre.

Brandon McCarthy – Just when it seemed like he was starting to put something together, he hurt his finger. Probably be done for the season.

John Maine – Hoping to return to the Mets in the final week as their closer. Closing sounds like just the medicine a pitcher with an ailing shoulder needs.

Adrian Gonzalez – Another HR, for 4 in 5 games. Officially hot. Now if I only would’ve known to bench him for two months in the middle of the summer…

Hiroki Kuroda – 7 IP, 0 ER and 3 hits. This is exactly the kind of end of the season matchup you should be looking for. Team fighting for playoffs vs. Team deciding between Ohlendorf and Oh-who-gives-a-dorf.