LOGIN

Matt Lindstrom was named the Astros closer.  Over/under on game-winning HRs given up to Pujols:  3.  Lindstrom had a 1.65 WHIP and a 5.89 ERA last year.  So, no, I don’t think he’s safe.  Would I own him?  Sure.  I also don’t think the Astros will have that many saves so it’s not worth holding onto Brandon Lyon, unless your league’s very deep or you don’t trust yourself to be the first one to the waiver wire to grab Lyon if/or when Lindstrom’s removed from the closer role.  Just think, better you wasted a low draft pick on Lyon than $5 million per year over three years.  Somewhere, Ed Wade’s toupee shrugs.  Anyway, here’s what else is going on in fantasy baseball:

Ian Kinsler – May start the year on the DL.  More like a month of May start.  Okay, if you’re not paying attention to my hints over the last two days of posts, I’m officially worried about Kinsler.  If he’s not good in April and not good in the 2nd half, when’s he going to be good?  May through June?  I’d pull up on the Kinsler throttle if I were drafting this weekend.  If you’re already pot-committed, I would just hold tight and hope for the best.  You don’t short sell your 2nd round pick, unless of course you’re getting a 2nd rounder back.  Why am I so worried about Kinsler and not, say, Reyes?  Reyes is coming two to three rounds later.  Reyes can run at full speed; Kinsler can’t run.  He hasn’t been able to run since March 12th.  Earth to Kinsler owners, that ain’t good.

Lance Berkman – The whole testing the knee thing didn’t go well.  His knee swelled up like fugu.  Doesn’t sound like he’ll be ready for Opening Day.

Nate Robertson – The Tigers are paying the Marlins $9.6 million to take Robertson.  This should be the sequel to Sophie’s Choice.  The Tigers deciding between an atrocious pitcher and almost ten million dollars.  “Well… It is ten million dollars and we are going to lose at least 70 games.”  “Nate Robertson could lose that many by himself.” “You’re right.  I’ll call the Marlins.”

Felix Pie – Officially named the Orioles’ left fielder.  Trembley said they’re just taking it easy on Reimold because of his Achilles’.  What’s up with him pulling a Kotchman with his Achilles’?  He had this surgery back in September.  Reimold is talented, but you can’t wait around for an injured sleeper.  In most leagues, I’d let him go and grab a different outfielder.

Kevin Millwood – I feel like everywhere he goes he’s the number one pitcher on his staff and that’s more of an indictment of his current team’s pitching staff than anything.  Behind Millwood on the Orioles staff:  Guthrie, Matusz, Bergesen and David Hernandez, who I believe starred opposite Kirsten Drunkst in Crazy/Beautiful.  Someone who’s obviously missing…

Chris Tillman – Didn’t make the Opening Day roster.  The Orioles are obviously playing for 2014.  Maybe the Tigers can pay for the Orioles to play some of their rookies.  If you own Tillman, you shouldn’t anymore outside of keepers and AL-Only leagues.

Ryan Garko – Mariners placed him on waivers.  Really thought the Mariners would use him in their platoon and not Sweeney.  I was wrong.  Not the first time, won’t be the last.  Luckily, my mustache catches most of my mistakes.

David Freese – Tony La Russa took time away from saving chinchillas and officially named Freese the Opening Day 3rd baseman.  Went over what Freese can do at the deep sleeper post.  (La Russa also named Garcia the 5th starter.  He got some face time in this post.  Then there’s this post that you’re reading right now.  I mean, I’m assuming you’re reading it.  Otherwise, you’re just staring at the screen.  That’s a little weird.  Hey, is it distracting for me to talk to you while you’re reading?)

Mark Teixeira – Was hit by a pitch the other day on the elbow, causing a contusion.  When Tex was hit, Nick Johnson winced and nearly threw out his back.  Both should be fine for Opening Day.

Aroldis Chapman – The Reds are expected to send Chapman to the minors to start the year.  That’ll give Dusty only half a season to wear out his arm.  I have faith in Dusty though; he can get it done.  Dusty stockpiles arms like a mujahid.

Francisco Liriano – Will be the 5th starter for the Twins.  Now the guy who was standing next to the guy who was thinking about Liriano as the closer can get rid of his “I’m With Stupid” shirt.  Wanna read all about Liriano’s sleeper status, get on it.

Corey Hart – Melvin said Hart’s not guaranteed a job.  It’s something to take note of, but I think this might just be trying to light a fire under him.  Who else are they going to?  Jim Edmonds?  I think he’s a MLB Network commentator.  Jody Gerut?  She screwed up my order at Friendly’s last week.

Mat Latos – Continued his real solid spring, which was briefly interrupted by arm issues.  If he’s made their fifth starter, it’s a hodgepadre with upside, aka giddy up.

Jamie Moyer – Named the Phillies 5th starter.  In related news, dirt’s old.

Cody Ross – Might open the season on the DL.  Might be the best thing that happens to you if you own him.  Now you can pick up someone else.

Eric Stults – Dodgers sold him to a team in Japan.  Is this the player to be named later for Kuroda?  Japan is littered with Rocky Dennis Fan Clubs so it’s unclear if the Japanese team knew which Eric Stults they were getting.