1. Hanley Ramirez
.332/125/29/81/51
If it wasn’t for Arod’s insane year, everyone would be talking about the year Hanley Ramirez had. Oh, and you didn’t have to draft him in the 1st round. Look at those numbers again. One homer off a 30/50 season? That’s insane. Experts have been calling for a 30/50 season from Carl Crawford for the last two years. And he’s an outfielder! A 29/50 season from a shortstop? I have a friend who drafted Michael Young right before Hanley went off the board. His emails went something like this, “Michael Young is on pace for a 5/5 season and it’s f**cking July?! Why didn’t I draft Hanley?” Not to mention, Hanley may be Latin but he doesn’t look eight years older than he’s listed at. I’m looking at you Pujols, David Ortiz and Kim Kardashian. C’mon, she’s 27? She looks like she’s in her thirties. Though she’s one of those that will look exactly the same age for fifteen years then, suddenly, she’ll look her age and it will be very disconcerting. Think Suzanne Somers.
2. Jimmy Rollins
.296/139/30/94/41
Let’s look at what he has going for him — speed and enough power for Citizen’s Bank, batting in front of Utes and Howard, an ego the size of a Cheesecake Factory entree, wanting to prove that the media is wrong by turning the best SS award automatically over to Reyes, no longer sporting braids and he gets about 1,000 at-bats a year. What’s not to like? This might be his peak and everyone calls him J-Rol. Can we call a moratorium on shortening names like this? It feels so forced and arbitrary. Man-Ram was cute, I wish sportscasters would shorten Felix Hernandez to F-Her, Arod is fitting, but when is enough enough? Cole Hamels to C-Ham? Justin Morneau to Just-Morn? Carlos Marmol to Car-Ma? Actually, I like Car-Ma and I predict at some point soon Car-Ma will catch up to Ryan Dempster.
3. Jose Reyes
.280/119/12/57/78
Disclaimer: I don’t like the Mets, but I love to watch Reyes play. Makes things difficult when you’re hoping for him to score yet you don’t want anyone on the team to get an RBI. “C’mon, double play from Wright!”
4. Troy Tulowitzki
.291/104/24/99/7
(I had to look up how to spell his last name, but didn’t need to look up Kardashian. Hmm…) Let’s not forget, he started awful. Dreadful. People were talking about bringing back “Deer Meat” Barmes. Yet, he still finished with great numbers. You probably drafted him so low(itzki) that rather than worry about the slow(itzki) start, you dropped him. Hopefully to pick him up again. Assuming you didn’t pay too(lowitzki) much for him, you got value. This might be the last year that you’ll be able to get him so low(itzki). (Sorry if that last paragraph was as confusing to read as it was to write. Sometimes things don’t work, but you get so caught up in them you continue to force a round peg into a square hole.)
5. Carlos Guillen
.296/86/21/102/13
(See Top Ten 1st Basemen) Maybe C-Guile? “C-Guile is sneaky fast!”
6. Derek Jeter
.322/102/12/73/15
If only you had drafted him in the third round of your Fantasy Shortstops Who Date Hot Girls League. Sorry no Jessica Alba category in most leagues, though his conquests must play some sort of role in where he is drafted every year. Cause the numbers are, well, okay. Eighth round okay. Enough has been written about Jeter, moving on…
7. Orlando Cabrera
.301/101/8/86/20
Honestly, I didn’t realize his numbers were so mediocre. See, I live in So-Cal and to watch a City of Anaheim ‘Burb of Los Angeles Angels game, you would think Cabrera had an MVP season. Rex Hudler loves him some Cabrera. Here’s hoping Hud was in your league and took him before you. Nah, that’s just backlash. He had a decent season for an MI spot.
8. Michael Young
.315/80/9/94/13
Michael “I should’ve taken Hanley!” Young had a typical year for Julio Lugo. Not sure how you bat second or third on the Rangers and only score 80 runs. Offensive ballpark and he had over 200 hits. How do you do that? Oh, that’s right Sammy Sosa, Brad Wilkerson, Jason Botts, Marlon Byrd were batting behind him. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2007 Texas Rangers!
9. Edgar Renteria
.332/87/12/57/11
Okay, the RBIs were low, but you didn’t have to pay much to get these numbers. Not to mention, he was injured for about two months so if you slotted in someone else while he was DL-ed, you padded the above stats. But praising Renteria is like praising Vanilla Ice Cream. You know what you’re getting.
10. J.J. Hardy
.277/89/26/80/2
Personally, I like his numbers better than Michael “I should’ve taken Hanley!” Young. His .277 wasn’t crippling, his 26 homers were excellent for SS and his RBIs and runs weren’t bad at all. Not to mention, you had to draft Michael “I should’ve taken Hanley!” Young about twenty rounds earlier. I wouldn’t go as far to say J.J. was dy-no-mite, but you could’ve done worse. Speaking of which…
Tejada had his consecutive game streak broken and you wasted a really high pick and Furcal absolutely killed teams this year. Furcal actually had a bad year for Julio Lugo.
