Jeremy Hellickson threw a complete game yesterday giving up one earned run. Great, tremendous, gremendous! Hey, Rays, take out an ad in Variety for Hellickson for Rookie of the Year. The ad can flaunt a quote from Rays beat writer Roger Mooney saying, “Hellickson is the best rookie pitcher I’ve ever seen!” Rays blogger Jason Collette says, “He’s better than Melissa Leo!” A Tampa Bay area Hooters waitress, “And he’s a good tipper!” Last year, Hellickson threw a 155 2/3 innings. Usual bump from one year to the next for young pitchers is 30 innings. Back in the preseason, Buddy Holly Joe Maddon said Hellickson would be capped at 180 innings. That’s probably give or take five innings. Depending on whether or not Verducci shows up at Hellickson’s final start with disapproving eyes. Right now, Hellickson is sitting at 164 1/3 innings. Probably looking at three more starts for Hellickson. Make sure you keep that in mind in H2H leagues. Oh, and have a good Labor Day. I’ll leave you with this quote, “You’re laborers. You should be laboring. That’s what you get for not having an education.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Francisco Liriano – Unlikely to pitch again this year. If only this news came out in March.
Joe Mauer – 1-for-2 with his 2nd homer. Put a note on the Comatose Twins Fan to ‘Do Not Resuscitate.’
Dustin Ackley – 2-for-4 with his 6th homer. He’s also hitting .400 over the week. The Mariners have good reason to be excited, but that’s mostly because The Big FraGu is out for the year. So much easier than diverting one’s eyes.
Jose Bautista – First to reach 40 homers. I’ll say my miss on Bautista this year was the ultimate Mr. Bungle move.
Derek Jeter – 2-for-5 with his fifth homer of the year. Or the sixth lowest homer total of all players with a full season of at-bats. He’s tied with Maicer Izturis, but Maicer has almost a hundred less ABs. Jeter reminds me of something. You’ll never sleep with as many women as you’d like to? No, random italicized voice. He reminds how terrible name recognition can be for fantasy baseball.
Alex Rodriguez – Returned over the weekend and hit a homer yesterday. That’s his 15th homer this year, or how many times he’s openly begged Jeter for his approval.
Ian Kinsler – 3-for-5 with his 25th homer. Was also his fourth homer in the past 4 games and has 23 steals on the year with only 2 caught stealings. Sure, the average (.245) is a bit blehtastic, but that could easily be at .270 as he continues to prove the Ranger hitters credo, “If healthy, good.” So it’s not the snappiest credo, but it’s accurate.
Nelson Cruz – Says he can get back prior to the estimated three weeks. Cool, that means he can get another injury in before the end of the year. Take odds, Vegas. Take odds.
Mike Napoli – 2-for-3 with his 23rd homer as he hits .293. Imagine he didn’t go through stretches where his manager temporarily benches him because Napoli’s hitting on their daughter.
Dee Gordon – 3-for-5 with his third steal in the three games since he returned. Mouth on the left side of the screen says, SAG. Mouth on the right side of the screen says, NOF. They come together for SAGNOF.
Randall Delgado – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Took over Jar-Jar’s spot in the rotation and meesa tinks he’ll stay in the rotation for the better part of the rotation. He’s still a rookie that could give a solid six inning start, a four inning/four earned run turd or something in the middle like today. In other words, he’s a’ight for NL-Only leagues. In other other words, last week I was in my other other Benz.
Brennan Boesch – Done for the year with thumb surgery. Boesch & Thumb contact rends.
Johan Santana – News has changed once again for Johan. First, he’s coming back in June. Then he’s coming back in July. Wait, he’ll be back, definitely, in August. Nope, he’s not returning. Yes, he’ll be back next week. Or the final week of the season. Or not at all. Whatever the Mets say, he’s not worth owning anyway.
Mike Stanton – Left the game with a hamstring injury. He’s day-to-day. If everyone wants to sign a card and have me deliver it to him, I’m hiding in the bushes next to his garage. I mean, get well soon, Mike. I mean… No, that’s what I meant. *nervous laughter*
Hanley Ramirez – Has been confirmed that he will have shoulder surgery. With some hard work and a dedication to being the best, he’ll be ready to go for the start of next season. So, he won’t be ready. I’m going to gauge things further this offseason, but I’m almost certainly not going anywhere near him next year. I try to stay away from players coming off big surgeries, unless I feel like the injury wasn’t something that could linger. You know, like Morneau this year. Now I’m done with all players coming off a major injury/surgery. Show me one player who overperformed coming off a major injury and I’ll show you 25 that didn’t.
Jon Jay – Homered yesterday and 6 for his last 11. He also expressed his pride for the way the original thirteen colonies bounced back from Hurricane Irene.
Jason Motte – On Saturday, he recorded the save, then on Sunday Salas gave up a run and lost the game. If you’re a save vulture circling around for some tasty meat to feed on, I’d peck on Motte.
Torii Hunter – Says he might retire after the 2012 season. This is neither funny nor interesting (which is implying other things I write are, but anyway…), Hunter will almost certainly have a job at a major network as an analyst.
Carlos Carrasco – Might be headed for TJ surgery, which involves a copious amount of tequila and two donkeys. No, that’s Tijuana surgery. My bad.
Shelley Duncan – 2-for-4, 5 RBIs, 2 homers and 6 people hospitalized after he high-fived his teammates.
Juan Francisco – 4-for-5 yesterday and homered on Friday. He’s now started three of four games since he was recalled. Not mixed league worthy yet, but I got my pet marmoset watching him closely. I only have so much time.
Sean Marshall – Notched his fourth save as Marmol sat on the bench and thought about what he had done on Saturday. Ya know, give up a grand slam to Derrek Lee. Marmol’s still probably the closer, if only to frustrate Cubs fans and his fantasy owners.
Carlos Beltran – 8 for his last 11 as he carries the Giants to a solid 2nd place finish.
Brian Wilson – Threw off the mound on Sunday, but there’s no timetable for his return. The Giants could opt to shut down Wilson if they fall out of the race, but he seems like the type that would want to return even if the Giants’ playoff chances are remote. Though I might have a facial hair basis.
Anthony Rizzo – 0-for-3 as he was recalled, with recall being the optimal word considering how he’s played thus far. I’d be shocked if the Padres don’t find a way to get Jesus Guzman’s bat in the lineup on a consistent basis since he’s batting .337. Even if the Padres just Mad Lib first base on the lineup card, Blanks will probably be filled in the most with Rizzo’s promotion.
Dexter Fowler – 3-for-4, now hitting near .350 over the last week with two homers and two steals. Right now, Dexter is murdering the ball.
Shaun Marcum – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners (1 Hit), 8 Ks vs. the Astros. Crazy the lineup of Jordan Schafer, Paredes, Martinez, Bogus..etc. didn’t give him a harder time. The team Ed Wade’s Toupee put together would have a hard time beating the Little League Champions two out of three games.
Neil Walker – 1-for-4 with his 12th homer. Member when he was good? In like April. Ah, yeah, good times.
Alex Presley – 2-for-5 with a steal. Now 10 for his last 18 with a homer and two steals. He’s been so hot Pirate cameramen have been asked to only film him from the waist up.
Anibal Sanchez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks. Due to an umpire call, the game is under review. A fan interfered with a Pence double, which was overturned with instant replay. Charlie Manuel then argued that there’s no such cotton-pickin’ thing as instant replay and the moon is made of green cheese. We’ll await the MLB’s Executive Vice President of Baseball Operations Joe Torre’s decision. I’d say it’s pretty likely the call is overturned and the game resumes with Torre’s final verdict being, “Hey, whatever gets more middle relievers in the game.”
