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Straight from Rudy’s risky pitcher post, “Sliders are the most effective pitch one can throw but are worse on the arm than fastballs/changeups.  Pitchers who rely on sliders (15+% of pitchers) take this risk if they feel it’s the only way to reach their expected level of success.  Young pitchers relying heavily on sliders for success are more akin to a kid on his tippy-toes trying to make it on a ride – they can only keep it up so much before they fall below that line or get hurt trying.”  Following that line of thought, Brandon Morrow was thrown from the big boy ride and will start the season on the DL because he threw sliders with reckless a-Brandon.  The Jays are going to backdate Morrow’s DL stint so he’ll only miss one start.  Yeah, and I’d like to backdate my fantasy draft where I took Morrow, but that ain’t happening either.  If Morrow only misses one start all year, call me Mr. Wendal and play me in a game of horseshoes.  A game of horseshoes!?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kyle Drabek – Definitely making the rotation now.  In his cup of coffee last year, he got creamed.  But like a Welsh Corgi, he comes from a good pedigree.  If Morrow stays out for an extended period time, then Drabek could stay up for a while.  I like my roofies in the NL, so I’m not picking him up, but in AL-Only or keepers, I could see grabbing him for a 7 K/9 and just over a 4 ERA.

Roy Oswalt – Was knocked down by a comebacker.  Would’ve be a classy touch if the stadium started playing Rihanna’s “What’s My Name?”  BTW, why is the square root of 69 Aesop?  Oswalt is as tough as nails (not Lenny Dykstra, though they could be brothers from different mothers).  I wouldn’t be surprised if Oswalt is fine for the start of the regular season.  C’mon, he rides tractors in the offseason, you can’t stop that magic.

Curtis Granderson – Early yesterday morning, Joe Girardi said Grandy will be ready for Opening Day.  But Girardi wears braces causing no one to take him serious, so later in the day there was word Grandy won’t be ready.

Dustin Ackley – Dustin’s off, man, to the minors.  Invest in plastics!

Jake Peavy – Called his rotator cuff problem a minor blip.  Yeah, and the Titanic hit a minor iceberg.

Kila Ka’aihue – Haven’t talked much about The Good Eyein’ Hawaiian.  He hasn’t hit for much average so far in the major leagues.  Or is it ma’ajor leagues?  But he’s hitting well so far this spring.  Oh, poi!  In OBP leagues, you should grab him in the reserve rounds for a chance at something special.  In 15 team leagues or more, take a flyer.  Can’t hurt.  He could be one of those guys that becomes the hot add the first week of the season and hits 25 homers with a .260 average.

Alexi Ogando – Told reporters he wants to close.  Now there’s some initiative.  Next time, he should say that while dressed as Ron Washington.

Oliver Perez – The Nats signed him then announced they would be holding an Oliver Perez Day in late-May where the fans get to throw rocks at the management, only to miss them with three of four throws.

Brandon Webb – Was scratched from throwing when he couldn’t get loose.  Wait a second, someone in aluminum pants just walked into my office.  What’s that?  You’re from the future?  Wow!  Why are you here, future boy?  To tell me Webb only starts seven games all year and is then shut down again?  Thanks!  Wait, come back!  I have important questions for you!  Like, um, who wins Top Chef?!

Brian Wilson – Had a setback with his oblique.  Sorta like the monkeys at the start of 2001:  A Space Odyssey.  My money says Romo is going to close games for the first week of the regular season and it’s written in Latin.

Cody Ross – May miss the start of a season with a hurt calf, which is abbreviated in the New England Journal of Medicine as a boo-boo on the moo-moo.