Clarence Clemons Sabathia was the big man for the Yankees, one-hitting the A’s over 8 innings for his 19th win. Over 17 starts since June 1, CC has gone 14-2 and has thrown 7+ innings with less than 3 ERs in 15 of those games. Besides pissing off Red Sox Nation and Rays Famous Original Municipality, CC is frustrating the whole sabermetric community as he’s zoomed into pole position for the Cy Young despite being behind several pitchers – notably King Felix – in most stats except Wins. Don’t blame CC, it’s not his fault that the Mariners bats are so weak that they couldn’t break open a piñata.
Curtis Granderson – Two HRs off the bench in relief of Nick Swisher. Maybe they should make him a ‘6th man’ like in basketball.
Nick Swisher – Left after an inning with a stiff knee. My knee would be stiff too if my fiance looked like this. Word is he’ll be day-to-day but given the number of OF options on the Yanks, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him take off the whole Labor Day weekend.
Johan Santana – Got the win against Tim Hudson and the Braves but left after 5 innings with a strained pec. My pec would be strained too if my team’s lineup looked like this.
Adrian Beltre – El Senator hit homer #25 and is nearing 100 RBIs with a .321 average. Why do I call him El Senator? Because he campaigns every 6 years, making promises he doesn’t live up to once under contract.
Miguel Cabrera – Left the game early with bicep tendinitis. Understandable since he’s been holding up the pathetic Detroit Tigers lineup like Bela Karolyi holding up Kerri Strug. If you’re lucky enough to have him on your team, hope he sticks the landing.
Jhoulys Chacin – Pitched decent against Philly (5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners) but had to settle for the no-decision when the Rockie bullpen got rocked. I can’t tell you how to correctly pronounce his first name but I can tell you that he should be owned in any league that doesn’t have an innings cap.
Dexter Fowler – 3 for 6 with a HR and 3 RBIs. Fowler’s got a great lineup slot hitting between speedy EYJr and CarGo but keep expectations low. He’s still a serial K-er (8 in the last 5 games) with little power and yawnstipating speed (12 SBs this year).
Chase Utley – 2 for 4 with a HR and 6 RBIs. It’s been a mess of a year for Utley but if he can put together one of his ‘hot’ months of .320/7/20, maybe some of his owners can climb into 5th in the standings.
Dallas Braden – Left with cramps in the 6th inning in his start against the Yankees. Evidently the cramps were more severe than the start when he snapped at A-Rod.
Jose Valverde – Jim Leyland pitched him 3 innings in an extra inning win against the Twins. Seems excessive but the Tigers are only 11 games out of first with 28 games left. Keep fighting the fight, Jimmy!
Jeff Manship – Pitched 4 strong innings in relief of Scott Baker. Not bad for a guy whose last name sounds like a bad Cuba Gooding Jr. movie. His minor league stats indicate you should avoid him like that movie if he enters the rotation.
Nyjer Morgan – The Batty Natty is going to be suspended – it’s just a matter of how many games. I think he just misses being in a Pirate uniform.
