Hey, I’m Higgins and I’m going to be posting updates about our Fantasy Razzball leagues. If you are not familiar with Fantasy Razzball, it is a league format where us truly masochistic fantasy baseballers try to build the worst fantasy baseball team possible. Full rules can be found here.
We find ourselves now in the final stretch, and the race at the top continues to be tight. Anthapologists, representing division 1, is at the top of the master standings with 5,717 total adjusted points. He is anchored by Michael Bourn, who has put up 140 points by himself in the last 30 days, as well as batting-practice pitchers Justin Germano and Aaron Cook, good for 85.5 and 94 points respectively as they’ve combined for ten losses in that span. Just on his tail is division-mate Bavasi’s RevivalTour, coming in with 5,534 total adjusted points, and led by the abysmal Justin Smoak (104 points), Andres Torres (132), and some guy named Fernando Abad, who has racked up 4 losses and 69.33 points while pitching only 15.2 innings for the Houston Astros in the last 30 days. I know, I had no idea either. Bavasi’s RevivalTour must live in Houston or have gone to high school with Abad or something, because I’m confident there is no other way to be familiar with his existence.
If you are trailing in your Fantasy Razzball league, the good news is that while there is not a ton of time left, this is actually the best time to rack up the points and make a move in the standings. September call-ups make for some of the best razz points, and there are a number of teams who are mailing it in for the last month. Let’s just take a look at the Houston Astros depth chart, shall we? “Who are these guys?” Razzball champions, that’s who. Jimmy Paredes is starting in right field. He’s been worth 69 points in his last 44 at-bats. Yow. How about the Colorado Rockies? Josh Rutledge and D.J. LeMahieu are the middle-infield combo there, and if you knew that, then I am sorry. They’ve combined for 137 points in the last 14 days. Seriously, go look at the MLB standings, start at the bottom, and just look at who is starting games. Minnesota? P. Florimon and E. Vasquez. Miami? G. Dobbs. D. Solano. Cleveland lists a V. Rottino in left field. Behind him? Lillibridge. Translation: invest in Indians left fielders.
September and October in Fantasy Razzball leagues is like the bonus round where lots of players are putting up double points. Scour those box scores and depth charts looking for names you don’t recognize, and you may be surprised by how terrible some Major League baseball players can be… which is the glorious point of Fantasy Razzball. This is futility prime time.