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The Fantasy Baseball War Room is back!  I’m not saying the Fantasy Baseball War Room is back, as in, is a butt.  So, if Sir Mix-A-Lot is reading, I’m truly sorry for the confusion.  Our Fantasy Baseball War Room is one part draft tool, one part fantasy team evaluator, one part fantasy junkie’s s’s and g’s tool, one part holy, two parts smokes, three parts… How many parts is that so far?  Cause it’s only really seven parts total.  I think there’s one part kill-your-day-with-this-war-room-thing-a-maboob-as-a-pinwheel-spins in there too.  Essentially, this helps you practice building a fantasy baseball team.

If you’re unfamiliar with our Fantasy Baseball War Room, it’s a draft tool to help you track where you are at any moment in a draft.  It shows you if you have too many steals, homers… Or if your ERA or WHIP are too low.  Or too high.  Or if your lamb is still rare or should be turned (results vary on lamb).  If you’ve already drafted a team, go into the War Room, enter your team and it shows you exactly how stacked/dreadful the team is.  If you’re in the middle of a draft, you can filter which guys are left that have the most home runs according to my projections.  Or the most steals, or the most runs or the most whatever (only applicable if “Whatever” is a category in your league).  If you’re in a bind, go into a Warm Room and take a shvitz.  Ah…That’s better!  There might be some bugs in our Fantasy Baseball War Room, just comment here and we’ll look into fixes.  The default projections are mine from the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings.  Also, Rudy’s projections are now up!  They can be found at my ranking page that I just linked to or here:  hitter projections and pitcher projections.  There, you’ll see rankings for every conceivable league (OBP, OPS, Holds, etc).  Anyway, here’s the step by step instructions on how to use the Fantasy Baseball War Room:

  • Sign up. If you get a message that says your email is already in the system and you don’t remember the password, just use a new email or a made-up email.  It doesn’t really matter.  It says to email us to retrieve your password, but I have to be honest, I’m not retrieving shizz.  Repeat, just make a New User and make up a fake email.  We’re not emailing you anyway.
  • Choose what kind of team you want to draft. How many catchers, outfielders, middle infielders, etc. ESPN and Yahoo are for position eligibility. It doesn’t mean you’re playing there. ESPN is 20 games started; Yahoo is 5 started and 10 games played. So that means ESPN and CBS are the same. Or wherever you play that uses 20 or 10 game eligibility.
  • Now as you draft players, click Draft next to their name. If a player is eligible at more than one position, drop down the menu to the position you want them at.  If you can’t find a player, search for them at the top.  As Jeff Francoeur would say, voila!  Or if you’re a Twins fan, Frank Voila!
  • Get as close to the Totals as you can.
  • Wanna start again? Delete the Team, by scrolling to the right of the player search at the top and a down arrow will appear. Click that, then click the pinwheel under ‘Taken” and delete team or sign out. We got pinwheels! Wanna throw your computer out the window from excitement?  Go for it!  For those that missed it in the first bullet point, if you forget your password, Create New User and make up a fake email.  Do not email me.
  • Note from our programmer, Jamil.  If you get this error page, then your shizz is broke and you need to buy a new computer.  But, if you don’t want to buy a new computer, you should clear your cookies and start again.  Likely what happened is you’re logged into the app still from an old version.  Less likely, you still have the same internet cache from last year and haven’t cleared your cookies once in 12 months.  I’m not judging, Cust kayin’.