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A cavalcade of stars trampling through your computer like a Colt 45 commercial. Not really, but if they all did… awesome. I would be the first person — make that the second — to die from high fiving. The first, if you must know — was that kid who slept with the hot teacher in high school. The prospects are slowly oozing into fantasy and the waiver wire in some leagues becomes important. So pay attention, and send the checks to me, but seriously I have Paypal as well. Here are the week 19 middle of the road, maybe available, two start pitchers for week 19 of fantasy baseball.

Vin Mazzaro (@ Sea vs. Fister) (@Min vs. Baker)
The pride of “Dirty Jerz.” Minus one start in last 10 has been fist pumping good. Averages 5 K’s a game, with a 3.50 ERA over last 10. Gets Fister (I barely knew her) and the butcher and candlestick maker’s illegitimate child.

Justin Masterson (Bal vs Arrieta) (Sea vs. Fister)
A Smokey fave. I am still president of the Just Masters Fan club with 3 blind kids and my dog as the only other members. Cause none of them can actually watch him pitch. Good roll of dice based on matchups.

Kyle Kendrick (Lad vs. Padilla) (@NyM vs. Pelfrey)
4 ER over last 19 innings, huh. I never would have guessed it. Gets the anemic Dodger bats and the Mess, I like it for a dollar. Could do worse… and by worse I mean Jeff Karstens.

Bud Norris (Atl vs. Minor) (Pit vs. Karstens)
Uncle Chuck — I shouldn’t have given you my cell number. When he threatens, I have to write about Bud. Better to drink than to pitch but you can’t really play baseball with a can… Or can you? Sneaky K’s and Jeff Karstens, start a tab.

Ian Kennedy (@ Mil vs. Narveson) (@ Was vs. Olsen)
The innings monster has come out of the closet and stole his footed pajamas. Decent matchups but he still plays for the D-Backs. Maybe an avoid for the next 2-3 starts until he gets those pajamas back.

Carlos Zambrano (@ SF vs. Bumgarner) (@ Stl vs. Suppan)
Yeah, it was a typo and I ran with it. I wouldn’t start him, but in deep leagues somebody has to gamble. Suppan is horrible. Personally, I think I can do worse for less than 12 million. Oh, C-Zam makes 18… Snikeys.

Wade LeBlanc (Pit vs. Karstens) (@ SF vs. Lincecum)
Again, I’m picking on Jeff — sorry, dude. Timmy hasn’t been Timm-AY, since the Loch Ness Monster asked me for three fiddy. Use his first start and play the “if I need K’s game” on Domingo.

Freddy Garcia (Min vs. Baker) (Det vs. Galarraga)
Yeah, I put him in last week’s article by mistake. I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. Gets “Not quite” Curt Henning, and the “ill” kid. The pale hose are scorching. Best team in baseball since June, that’s a fact, go look it up……I told you, doubter.

Brian Matusz (ChW vs. Jackson) (@ TB vs. Niemann)
Buck shows up and the O’s remembered how to play ball. Has been downright horrible all year. Still has no reason to pitch, but they play 162 and they were given the same money that Reggie Bush took at USC.

  1. big o says:
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    nice post .
    creative and humorous .

    question , please :
    enright has 2 away games … @ parra and @ the nats

    enright or leblanc ?
    thanking you , in advance .

  2. Mr2Bits says:
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    Smokey or anyone : Would you think I was crazy if I dropped D. Lee for A. Laroche? Lee is about as bad as it gets and Im sick of waiting for this second half surge to show up.

    Also whats your thoughts on Volquez right now. His lack of K’s and control have me on the edge of my seat every start. These three guys are available so I’m thinking about dropping him for one…really leaning towards Duensing. What are your thoughts?

    Brian Duensing
    James McDonald
    Thomas Diamond

  3. Smokey

    Smokey says:
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    @big o: Both have decent first start matches, i would prolly want LeBlanc at home, even though he gets Timmy, Enright does play for d back who are god awful.
    @Mr2Bits: Yes drop Lee for Larouche. VColquez had been really spotty location is his enemy. Duensing is good, keep an eye on Diamonds start today.

  4. ruah says:
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    Drop Snider or Soriano for Kubel?

  5. YourMom'sBoyfriend says:
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    is Ryan Kalish pickupable in a Keeper League? I already have Tabata as my 5th OF and Keeper, but Kalish?

  6. Bill Lumbergh says:
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    Start Minor this week for his 2 start MLB debut?

  7. Hebrew says:
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    LeBlanc or Mazzaro?

  8. Smokey

    Smokey says:
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    @ruah: Kubel is hot, i pciked him up in a few leagues where he was avail, Morneau will ne coming back so that may have a negative on his numbers.
    @YourMom’sBoyfriend: Tabata and Kalish to me offer about the same.
    @Bill Lumbergh: Im not but if you need quantity, go for it.
    @Hebrew: Mazzaro

  9. Eddy says:
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    @Smokey:
    Is Minor a two-start option? He goes today against the ‘Stros.

  10. Fletch says:
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    @Smokey: What do you think of these 2 trades: My Verlander/J. Upton for his Hamels/Holliday OR my Haren/Crawford for his Hamels/Holliday?

  11. royce! says:
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    I really want to grab Norris and Masterson for the week, but they’ve had terrible starts against all of their opponents (Masterson hasn’t pitched against SEA). Norris v. ATL- 4.1 IP, 7 ER. Norris v. PIT- 4.2 IP, 7 R, 4 ER. Masterson v. BAL- 5.1 IP, 6 ER, 5 BB. And based on SEA having a lot of lefties, I would assume that despite being SEA, they will hit well against Masterson, against whom lefties are batting .310.

    Now that I’ve typed this, I bet they’ll do just great, though. The universe likes to do me like that.

    What do you think about Fister this week? He gets OAK and CLE. He has a 1.50 ERA v. OAK over two starts, and hasn’t started against CLE. His ERA over the last month has been horrendous (6.84), but his xFIP and FIP are around 4.2. And over the last month he’s had to face TEX, CWS, BOS, LAA, MIN, and KC. So it’s not like he was giving up a ton of runs to BAL.

  12. Smokey

    Smokey says:
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    @royce!: @Eddy: i see lowe as todays starter
    @Fletch: i like the first one better granted its not a dynasty
    @royce!: all good points, not a fister fan

  13. Black Beard says:
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    If all these guys are available…who’s the most enticing option?

  14. Long Bong Hitters says:
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    Grey, I just traded ARod for Texiera. Who do you like better at 3rd base the rest of the season, Chris Johnson or Pedro Alvarez?

  15. Telemachus says:
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    So, Mazzaro over Minor?

  16. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Looks like I picked the wrong game to not pick up Morrow

  17. Smokey

    Smokey says:
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    @Long Bong Hitters: Oh good call, Hmm Ill say Johnson
    @Telemachus: by all means i wuld pick up Minor cause if he goes lights out you may never have a chance to get him. But for the week i like mazzaro better.

  18. Principal Blackman says:
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    Smokey, what do you think of Padilla for this week? He has two starts @Phl and @Atl?

    Also what do you think of Hellickson? is he worth the pickup for the start Tuesday @Det? (That’s assuming Davis is held out of Tuesday’s game)

  19. Smokey

    Smokey says:
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    @Principal Blackman: love me some Padilla. Hellickson is rosterable regardless legit future #2 stuff.

  20. sal says:
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    mazzaro or masterson?

  21. Ryan says:
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    Non-keeper league. Pick up James McDonald or Mike Minor?

  22. Smokey

    Smokey says:
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    @sal: Mazzaro, begrudingly
    @Ryan: Minor

  23. Anonymous says:
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    @anyone.

    Ernesto Frieri RP from the Friars has 16 Ks and 5 Holds through 8.2 IP with no ER and 0.58 WHIP. Is there something in the making here?

  24. ScoutAbout says:
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    @ Grey and anyone else who wants to chime in: Pedro Alvarez or Alex Gordon for the rest of the season? Also, JJ Hardy, Uribe, Sean Rodriguez or Neil Walker at MI.

  25. HotCorner says:
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    Any chance Hellickson makes two starts this week? I picked him up last minute, so I’ve got my fingers crossed.

  26. HotCorner says:
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    @HotCorner: I say go with Pedro and…Uribe.

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