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I call this, “Highlights of Grey and Rudy Panicking Over a Blown Win for Danks,” which is also a Jewel poem title.  Chris Sale entered in the ninth, recorded no outs, gave up three hits and three runs.  That, sir, is a ‘Fire Sale.’  Then Ozzie brought in Crain, who has a great leg kick.  He’s not the best around… Pitched wild, didn’t look good in general then was lifted so Ozzie could avoid Crain vs. Sweeney, which sounds like a Tim Burton film, and brought in Matt Thornton.  Bringing in a struggling Thornton with the bases loaded in a 4-2 game is like helping someone with impotence problems by filming them have sex.  In the end, Rudy and I lost our Danks win.  Is all that clear?  Yeah, I don’t know either.  I’d hold Thornton and Sale, in that order.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Juan Pierre – 3-for-4 with a run, but would be most valuable in leagues that count brain farts.  He was picked off twice and made his 3rd error of the year.  You’d expect better judgement from someone named after two apostles.

Hideki Matsui – 2-for-4 with his 2nd homer.  Now he can reward himself with his epic porn collection.

Jay Bruce – Tweaked his groin.  Hey, sounds like Matsui!  Reds say Bruce should return by the weekend.  Matsui would tell you through a translator that’s prime groin tweaking time.

Jose Valverde – Recorded his 2nd win in two days.  In one of our leagues, we only have one win for the entire team after two weeks.  I must’ve killed puppies in a former life for my Win Karma.

Max Scherzer – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  After the game, Max reentered Michael Chabon’s latest book about the search for Golem.

Lance Berkman – 1-for-3, 5 RBIs and his fourth homer in three games.  Sure, it’ll end but there’s no reason why you can’t be there while it’s happening.

Jorge Posada – Now has 4 homers in the first two weeks.  The same number of homers as A-Rod.  Guys and three girl readers, why do you keep asking me if you should drop him?  If he gets 4 homers a month (24 homers on the year), what else do you want?  Why is it so hard to not pick at your catcher scab?  You’re gonna leave a scar.

David Murphy – 1-for-4 with 2 steals.  As I said yesterday, you should pick him up.  Wait, is there an echo in here?

Francisco Liriano – 5 IP, 7 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Time for our first installment of Point/Counterpoint.  Rudy says, “He’s #3 risky pitcher of 2011 and is pitching like he’s trying to prove me correct.  He’s now 0-3 with a 9.42 ERA and hasn’t pitched more than 5 innings per start.  On the plus side, he only walked one in this game after walking 8 in his first 9 1/3 IP.”  Grey says, “He had a terrible fourth inning with a bunch of junky singles.  He only threw 78 pitches (53 strikes) into the 6th inning and the last run was given up by Glen Perkins, the pancake king.  I’d roll the dice for his next start vs. the O’s, then reevaluate.”

Denard Span – 4-for-5, 2 Runs.  A leadoff man who gets 4 singles and doesn’t steal a base is in a nutshell why I don’t like Denard Dawg.

Drew Storen – Riggleman said Storen will continue to share save chances with Sean Burnett.  Don’t you need to give Storen save chances before he can share them?

Matt Wieters – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his first homer.   Matt Wieters Fact:  The only person that can get Matt Wieters out is himself.

Tim Stauffer – 4 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks.  I had Wood (not like that) and Stauffer going in many leagues yesterday.  Wood looked great, should be owned everywhere.  Stauffer is a borderline fifth starter that I’d continue to roll out there for home games for one reason alone, watching a game at Petco is what I imagine watching baseball in 1968 was like.

Orlando Hudson – 1-for-4, and his 5th steal.  He’s the Padres hitting star.  I.e. the world’s tallest midget.

Aroldis Chapman – 1/3 IP, 1 ER, which usually would be nothing but he was only throwing 92 MPH… Which Usually Would Be Nothing, Part II:  The Return of Which Usually Would Be Nothing, that’s nowhere near his top velocity.  Dusty might’ve figured out a way to injure Aroldis while not even throwing him that much.  It’s an (anti-)medical breakthrough!

Josh Johnson – 7 1/3 IP, 4 baserunners (1 Hit), 9 Ks.  To celebrate, his brother, Gosh Johnson, sprayed his co-workers with champagne.  At least, everyone hopes it was champagne.

Logan Morrison – Hit his third homer and is batting .317 on the year.  I don’t know, sounds okay to me.

Vernon Wells – 1-for-5 and now batting .102, which is also the temperature under the collars of his fantasy owners.

Ian Kennedy – 3 IP, 9 ER.  Ouch… Wait, what?  Oh, ouch.

Carlos Carrasco – 7 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Now has back-to-back solid starts, though one was against the M’s in Safeco.  Have to be in an AL-Only league to get excited about him or any Indians starter.  BTW, Carmona ‘n Carrasco sounds like an upscale Mexican restaurant.  “Forget your pinatas, hit us!”  That’s their slogan.

Wandy Rodriguez – 5 IP, 5 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Obviously wasn’t a great start, but the five runs came with two outs in the 1st.  If he gets that third out there, Wandy would’ve been fine.  (And if if’s and but’s were prunes and nuts, we’d all have to wear diapers.)

Jon Niese – 6 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I hate to move on in only the second week of April, but I’ve had it with Niese and his rock n’ jock aerobics.

Justin Smoak – Hit his first homer.  He’s not in the greatest home park/lineup for production, but at some point his OBP and power are going to make me look brilliant for liking him even if it was a year or two early.  BTW,  the Mariners lineup yesterday — Ichiro, Adam Kennedy, Milton Bradley, Jack Cust, Smoak, Ryan Langerhans, Luis Rodriguez, Brendan Ryan and Chris Gimenez.  That’s murderer’s row.  As in, I’d murder the GM if I were an M’s fan.

  1. scalez says:
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    what’s a realistic line we can expect from Logan Morrisson for the season? Lizard King on the stage or in the bathtub?

  2. Shawn says:
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    Yeah I dropped Posada. What have you? Like some guy named Harrison Ford once said in a galaxy far far away, “I gotta bad feeling about this”

  3. Hans says:
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    Now mention of Sergio Santos at all in the Thornton/Sale debacle??? Santos has been the most reliable guy out of the pen so far with 9 k’s over 7 innings and hasn’t allowed an earned run. I think this would be an add in most leagues and I’m very surprised he was not even mentioned. Also, have you thought of getting an active twitter account, not one that just posts links to these articles. Appreciate all the fantasy advice.

  4. Scalez says:
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    Santos is a good short term spec add with circumstances being as they are. IMO the other guys are too good to suck like this for the balance of the season.

  5. JR says:
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    At least Kennedy is out of the 3-spot. Jesus Christ…

  6. Hi Grey — Someone in my 14-team roto league dropped Daniel Hudson. My worst two pitchers are Beachy and Anibal. Should I drop either for Hudson?

  7. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    the last 4 or 5 save sittuations in whitesox country have been crazy,thornton and sale are lights out in most non save games,i cant figure it out,sale blew his chance bad lat night,a 1,2 3 inning would have pretty much won him the job ,leash included,then to let crain pitch to 1 guy?it will be a nuthouse till the break

  8. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    grey you giving up on pena yet,iave up on ortiz to ratlyast year,

  9. Hans says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC were you drunk while writing that comment?

  10. Tony tone says:
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    Thanks for the article Grey. Drop Snider for either Angel “oxymoron” Pegan or for Pena? Which would be preferable? I could certainly use the Pegans steals

  11. scalez says:
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    @Tony tone It’s Pagan. Like the guys wearing goat chaps in the Dragnet movie.

  12. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Hans: no,i need a lighted keyboard,but maybe a wittle bit

  13. Giant JJ says:
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    Would you offer either Stauffer or Masterson for Belt? 20 team

  14. jonnycat says:
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    Soild starts from Scherzer and Marcum briefly lifted my team into next to last place. I barely had time to publicly taunt the new last place team before Kennedy came along to demolish my ratios, punish me for my hubris, and leave me weeping over my laptop. After 2 innings I was like, “Stop, Stop – he’s already dead!”

  15. Steve says:
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    There’s no right answer here, just the least crappy one:

    Blackburn @ TB
    McCarthy v Tigers
    Hochevar v Seattle
    Lohse @ Dodgers

    It’s H2H…

  16. Tony says:
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    @Steve: its sad but im picking the KC royal HOCHEVAR, sea blows, KC’s hot…. so hot.

  17. Steve says:
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    @Tony: If it wasn’t SEA I wouldn’t have included him. He and I have some bad history.

  18. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Watching baseball in 1968 was great until Game 7 of the Series. I was young and could not believe we could lose after being up 3 games to 1 with Gibson (7 straight World Series wins) going against Lolich who had just pitched Game 5.

    (in actual fact, saw very few games other than the World Series. TV was different back then.)

  19. Rob says:
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    Grey:
    Which reliever would you drop: Thornton, Fuentes, Storen. Also have Lyon, Contreras, Walden. 6 of ‘em is causing a roster crunch elsewhere.

  20. @Rob: Can’t you trade one or two? I’d find a team that’s weak in saves and package an OK hitter with one or two relievers for an upgrade hitter and then you open up some roster space and help your offense at the same time.

  21. Wilson's Beard says:
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    @Grey: Which side do you like better… McCann, Greinke or Howard, Hundley, Zimmermann

  22. BSA says:
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    Grey – Great roundup. You make it difficult for me to get a stealth read in without laughing. It is hard to explain how I am getting caught up on the morning news (CNN is not this funny).
    I was waiting for that scab comment to come back up. The problem is that my whole team is a bunch of puss filled sacks that need to be lanced out of their misery. Hippo and I are with you on two weeks with around one win to show – add to that one hit, one run, rbi, hr, and a high ERA and WHIP – the universe is out of balance.
    Just waiting on the return trip to get my guys to their average.

  23. kangaroo hops says:
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    @Rob-
    Drop Storen. Fuentes is doing his thang for now, and Thornton might just be fine the rest of the year.

  24. Matt B says:
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    Which is a better 5×5 (obp isntead of avg) replacement for Zimmerman: Betemit, Callaspo, or Freese?

  25. Feeding the Abscess

    Travis says:
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    Another point against Liriano:

    His fastball velocity is down. Like 2 MPH down.

    2006: 94.7
    2008: 90.9
    2009: 91.7
    2010: 93.7
    2011: 91.6

    Pick out the two good seasons and win a prize! I’m going to cry into my oatmeal now.

  26. Cain Fan says:
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    I have Jackson, Danks and Peavy on my staff (oh and Felix too). Didn’t realize that meant I would be punting Ws, blah.

  27. Wilsonian says:
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    With Bills and Kennedy on my team, I love having two pitchers that I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO faith in, especially when they consistently prove me right. Thanks guys!

  28. Wilson's Beard says:
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    @AL KOHOLIC: Thanks, I was thinking that too. I’m a little hesitant to trade Greinke because my pitching is pretty weak though… How big of a dropoff do you think there will be from McCann to Hundley? Obviously Hundley can’t keep his hot start up, but with regular PT, do you think 65/17/70/.260/2 is reasonable?

  29. Ray says:
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    My 2B spot is a festering hole of suck with Kelly Johnson and Jose Lopez. Jonathan Herrera worth a look?

  30. Joe Pettini's Specs says:
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    Grey-I have to put a schmohawk in place of Hamilton, the catch
    being, whoever I pick I can’t drop until Hamilton comes back. The dishonor roll: David Murphy, Logan Morrisson, Ike Davis, Berkman, Maybin, Fowler, Rayburn, Boesch, Wallace. Thoughts?

  31. 3FingersBrown says:
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    @Grey: When watching the lowlights of Liriano’s lost inning yesterday it seemed as if he was missing his spots inside the zone – which I suppose is better than missing the plate entirely. “So I got that going for me, which is nice.” as Carl Spangler once said.

    Don’t sleep on the Panda! First righty HR of the season. As The Nature Boy would say, “Wooooo!”

    Oh and I kicked Infante to the curb in favor of Jonathon Herrera in leagues that count OBP. Nice peripherals.

  32. AdamH says:
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    Travis Wood dropped. Own him over Beachy or Lilly?

  33. SwaggerJackers says:
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    Smoak or Moreland in a 10 team roto league with AVG and OBP?

  34. Bill says:
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    Is the thought that Berkman is going to slow down because he’s going to get injured? Obviously he won’t keep hitting HR’s at this pace, but it seems like he can still rake if healthy. Plus, that lineup is a beast. He very well may get injured in RF, but until then he seems like a solid UTIL.

  35. ThePoonTycoon says:
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    @Tony tone: i wouldn’t. not like pagan is gonna blow up. also, last year snider hit .150 in april, then .370+ with a .700+ slugging in may before he got hurt. so i’m thinking he just has a little teixeira’s disease.

  36. william says:
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    @Grey – Phillips tweaked his groin and not Bruce right? I have both on my team so I hope it was just Phillips

  37. theevilempire says:
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    Going to drop AJ Burnett…

    Should I try to fill his slot with waiver fodder? Masterson, Correia, Tomlin, Brian Sanches, Esmil Rogers, Ondrusek, LeCure, Talbot, Aaron Crow, Tim Collins, Rzepcynski, are some names out there…

    Or just try my hand at the best PP for the day?

  38. ThePoonTycoon says:
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    it’s an uncomfortable morning to be sitting down after what kennedy did to me last night

  39. Mr2Bits says:
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    Grey : Lose Thronton (I have Hanrahan,Feliz,Marmol and Farns) for Carrasco in an QS league?

  40. ThePoonTycoon says:
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    @theevilempire: i’m picking up masterson everywhere i can. when i’m pulling unproven guys off the wire, i prefer the guys that get groundballs (masterson, britton) to the guys that aren’t groundball pitchers (holland, narveson). but that’s just my personal preference.

  41. Jake says:
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    Grey: My team is having major WHIP & ERA issues; I have – Gallardo, Marcum, Bills, Gio, Stauffer & Beachy for SP, then Marmol, Kimbrel for closers and I have a few setup guys to help with ratios which are out of control, Chapman, Madson, Adams, Venters. Do you think I should hold tight with this staff? (Um, yeah I said it) Or do you think I need to make a move? My hitters are: Napoli, A-Gone, Kinsler, Reyes, A-Rod, Pence, Krispie, Byrd, MiniDonkey, Hill (he’s a mess right now), L.Scott, Fuld. One guy in our league has Hurlander on the block and looking for a hitter. Should I stay put and let things pan out or do I seem to have an itch to be a chronic mastertrader? Thanks!

  42. Timequake says:
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    McCutchen and Lilly for Krispie and Kimbrel–which side do you like?

  43. ThePoonTycoon says:
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    @Jake: in a roto league, it should have been immediately apparent that you’d have whip issues. gallardo, bills, and gio are all guys that despite usually being fine elsewhere, but their whip is will hang around 1.30 even in good years.

  44. Nomar Mr. Nice Guy says:
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    Since 1986 No Children Have Been Born In Goose Creek, South Carolina. The Reason? Nobody Scores When Matt Wieters Is At Home.
    (Except Matt Wieters)

  45. Gig says:
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    Who would you rather have in a dynasty league, Colvin or Murphy?

  46. Buddo Chezuski says:
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    My staff is getting absolutley lit up this week! 2 wins from Valverde though haha

  47. joe pesci says:
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    @Grey:

    Nice article, and if you want to celebrate later tonight, we’re hitin Duncan’s Toy Shop.

  48. brad says:
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    I have room for one more pitcher in my weekly league. Should I go with Britton, Narveson, or Travis Wood (2 starts)?

  49. Jake says:
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    @ThePoonTycoon:
    You’re right, and it was apparent. It’s just that during the draft these guys came up at value spots so I went with them. What’s your take on a Gallardo + Reynolds for Adverb + T.Hunter? Or JJ and T. Hunter?
    Lee typically has a great WHIP so it may be what I need for the long term. Thanks!

  50. Dan Z says:
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    @ Grey and anyone else

    Just got offered Adam Dunn and Alex Rios for Jose Bautista and Gaby Sanchez, I pretty much have to take that right?

  51. DO I GIVE UP ON ALVAREZ AND AARON HILL YET!??! I CAN GET LANCE BERKMAN!!!

  52. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Wilson’s Beard: wilson,yeah i do and if not avila can,or jesus will get called up,mccann isgood but thier are a few non roostered catchers that will hit 20+ hr,s this year

  53. JMonte says:
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    Francisco Leeryano…….. cust kayin

    Own him everywhere and when he pitches I tend to flinch thinking sombody is going to punch me right in the nuts… and he obliges.
    Only 1 walk in 5IP but 17 Hits….. lookin promising.

    Added D. Murph everywhere I could, thanks for the advice!!!

  54. JMonte says:
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    @Dan Z – IMHO i would take that deal.

  55. kg says:
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    Should I drop Brandon League for Drew Storen?

  56. Oregon Nut Cups

    Oregon Nut Cups says:
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    Liriano coughed up more singles than a lonely drunk at a strip club.

    Alright, had nothing else to say other than this savory attempt at humor.

  57. Stophe says:
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    My injured players are popping out of the hospital like daffodils.
    Both Grienke and Morrow will soon return and I’m going to have a surplus of SPs, but nobody I could straight-out drop. I will need to wheel and deal.

    Here’s my conundrum:
    Verlander is my ace and would generate the most trade interest.
    Would you feel safe dealing Verlander and being left with a staff of Grienke, Scherzer, Ricky Romero, Gio Gonz, Morrow and Latos?

    If the answer is yes, would a Verlander/McGehee for Wright deal be reasonable? Verlander/Uggla for Cano?

    If no, who would you hold on to and who would you ship?

    Thanks you Princes of Razzball.

  58. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    grey,i know your very hopefull but are you thinking dee brown gets a call soon?i also was hit with the furcal injury

  59. polczek5 says:
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    I was offered Shin-Soo Choo for Neftali Feliz. I gotta do this, right?

  60. Ian says:
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    Uribe, Theriot, Herrera, O-Dawg or Bill Hall for MI slot in NL only?

  61. Eng says:
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    @Junker23: Good grief, it’s week two of a six month season.

  62. timSTi says:
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    10 TM 5×5 roto. 1500 IP. Start any or all?

    DLR @NYM
    Kuroda vs STL
    GioGon vs DET
    J.Zimm vs PHI

    Thanks!

  63. ichirosan says:
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    Started Liriano, Kennedy AND Niese in my RCL… If I didn’t had Josh Johnson pitching, I would have started running into traffic by now.

  64. Ciao Grey — Please rank these four in terms of who are the best bets for earning saves down the from today onward: Motte, Peralta, Lindstrom and Wilton Lopez.

    Many thanks!

  65. Learn Teixiera says:
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    (Thornton + Sale + Kennedy + Lilly) x (last night) = F.M.ERA

  66. Rob says:
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    Enrique:
    Ogando is on ww and I want to move now..

  67. 12-Team, 7×7 (OPS, K & QS, K/9), Roto

    currently have: Ian Stewart and Brandon Belt (one at UTIL and one on the BE, depending on the day)

    currently available: Corey Patterson and Angel Sanchez

    Would you make a move (or moves) of any sort or just wait and see?

    Also, my wife and I have been debating whether Phillip of the current Survivor is crazier than Coach of whatever Survivor it was when he claimed to have escaped from a tribe of cannibals and floated home on the Amazon river or some shizz. Anyway, I’m firmly of the belief that Phillip is way more bonkers, but she (with her fancy degree in Psychology) assures me that Coach is much less stable. Break the tie, please.

  68. BSA says:
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    @polczek5: I like Choo a lot.

  69. BSA says:
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    @BSA: Who are you kidding?! Your team is in last place right now. Sorry polczek5, realized this reality after I posted like I know what I am doing.

  70. Wake Up says:
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    @william: Bruce tweaked first

  71. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @scalez: 20+ homers, .280

    @Enrique: Anibal

    @AL KOHOLIC: Ha… No on Pena.

    @Tony tone: Hold Snider.

    @Giant JJ: Either one.

    @jonnycat: Ha!

    @Steve: McCarthy

    @Rob: Storen

    @Wilson’s Beard: Howard

    @BSA: Thanks!

    @Matt B: Freese

    @Travis: Hopefully, his shortened Spring Training has to do with that.

    @Cain Fan: Ha

    @Ray: Sure

    @Joe Pettini’s Specs: Murphy

    @3FingersBrown: Ha

    @AdamH: Beachy

    @SwaggerJackers: Smoak

    @william: Both, Phillips should be back for the next game.

    @theevilempire: What Poon said.

    @ThePoonTycoon: Yup

    @Mr2Bits: Nope

    @Jake: What Poon said.

    @Timequake: McCutchen

    @Nomar Mr. Nice Guy: Ha!

    @Gig: Murphy

    @brad: Wood

    @Dan Z: Agree with JMonte

    @JMonte: No problem.

    @kg: League

    @Oregon Nut Cups: Ha

    @Stophe: I wouldn’t trade Verlander there. You’re welcome.

    @AL KOHOLIC: Gordon… 10% chance, but I have flyers out just in case.

    @polczek5: Yup

    @Ian: Hudson for now.

    @timSTi: All

    @ichirosan: Ha!

    @Enrique: That order.

    @Learn Teixiera: Ha!

    @Awesomus Maximus: Hold… I’d prefer to side with the female, but I think you’re right. While absurd, Coach’s stories were consistent/coherent with a beginning, middle and end. Phillip needs to be dissolved for time purposes and usually leaves people scratching their heads.

  72. Matt Damon says:
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    @ Steve

    Dude, when in doubt go with the guy pitching against an NL team.

  73. Wake Up says:
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    @polczek5: I’d want Choo. But, I also have an extensive Asian train collection.

  74. ElTerrible says:
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    @Grey Wade Davis or Kyle McClellan? Leaning towards McClellan because the Rays can’t score runs.

    Thanks

  75. another Steve says:
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    @Grey: Hello Sir. Would you take Thornton or add Farnsworth or Storen?

  76. ujoh says:
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    Gregg, Rauch, S.Burnett and Farnsworth. Pick 2. Thanks.

  77. Pooch says:
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    Was just offered Filthy Sanchez or Pineda for Bourn….Gotta take Sanchez right?

  78. cubfever7 says:
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    Don’t know where you go to church Grey, but I’ve heard of a couple cad scalawag types named Juan and Pierre–but apostles? I can only say in my best anti Dave Hester—Nnnnnnnnnoooooooooopppppppee!

  79. Richie says:
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    Hey Grey,

    Someone dropped Hellickson in my league and I got him off waivers and dropped Stauffer. Good move or bad move?

  80. I’ve been sending out all kinds of offers to obtain Liriano. Owners are (for good reason) really, really low on him now. He was a top 80-100 overall player. I’ve been offering hot starts like Gordon, Britton, Drabek staright up for Liriano–got two bites.
    Even if I sit Liriano until late May when the weather warms up, and pitches speed up I’m still way ahead. I’m still the conductor on the Liriano train. I still see a very good season ahead.

    Anyone else still aboard?

  81. GTS says:
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    Start Beachy in 10 team H2H?

  82. Doc Pounder says:
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    Dropped Hughes for Holland. Good move or should I get Hughes back?

  83. royce! says:
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    My two teams are Seattle (born and raised) and San Diego (live there now). They could combine their offenses and still have a terrible lineup.

    I think I need to emigrate to Toronto. Probably stop in Cleveland on the way there to check out the Rock and Roll HOF.

  84. Ian says:
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    I can only start one of these to stay under my weekly limit:

    Zimmermann vs. PHI (Cliff Lee)

    Bumgarner @ ARI (Enright)

    Who gets the start? Thanks!

  85. Lines says:
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    @cubfever7: Juan = John, Pierre = Peter. Less church, more school, okay?

  86. crews says:
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    @Grey: Hope you’re right about Liriano…he’s killing me right now. But couldn’t wait on Thornton (or Ozzie): guy is -36 (H2H pts. league) and I’m going SAGNOF…picked up Fuentes.
    Any chance Santos sneaks in to the WSox closer picture?

  87. Lines says:
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    @cubfever7: …that came across more dickish than I would have liked. Sorry, stranger.

  88. A-Chap says:
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    That run last night was unearned snitches!!

  89. royce! says:
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    @cubfever7: Not sure if you were being sarcastic, but if not, Juan=John (also known as the Apostle whom Jesus most loved), Pierre = Peter (one of the 12 Apostles, a fisher of men).

    I’m going to start referring to Juan Pierre as John Peter. I’m sure he’d love that.

  90. GTS says:
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    Anyone have the cajones to start Ogando @ NYY?

  91. Doc Pounder says:
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    @royce!:
    Request it be filed in the razzball glossary.

  92. Ryan says:
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    Thorton or Rodney. which one would you hold? I don’t think i want both on my bench.

  93. Child Please says:
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    12-team roto 5×5 (QS instead of W), 200 GS limit

    Would you start Shields today vs MIN?

  94. Wake Up says:
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    @Dr. Stats: Late May sounds about right. He has always been bad in April and May. Gordon on the other hand, could easily hit like this all year, unlike a hot start.

  95. Wake Up says:
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    @Child Please: I am. Was sitting him @ BOS, but feel better about today.

  96. Wake Up says:
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    @Ian: Zimm @ home

  97. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @A-Chap: They must’ve changed the box score because at 10PM PST last night it was earned.

  98. @Grey:

    drop Pedro Alvarez for David Murphy and move my Youk to 3rd and DH Murphy?

  99. The Blue Crew says:
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    Hey Grey I got offered this trade and was wondering if I should take it …
    I give D wright and Sanchez or Billingsly for Lincecum and Reynolds / Alvarez

    10 team H2h 7×7
    C – Wieters
    1b Gonzo
    2b Hill
    3b Wright
    Ss Drew
    OF Kemp, Heyward, Rasmus
    Utl Lind Dunn
    BN Huff Abreau

    Sp Lester Weaver Haren Bills Sanchez De La Rosa and a streamer
    Rp Broxton and Axford
    Dl Cueto

  100. Joel says:
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    Grey:

    received the following offer in my 6×6 h2h league:

    I give Kemp, I get Granderson, Brian Roberts and Gavin Floyd. My 2nd baseman currently is Prado. what do you think?

  101. and1mcgee says:
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    replacing vernon wells and i need power. matsui, murphy, gomes, willingham ?? which do i pick up. thanks to all…

  102. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
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    @Grey:

    My wife has a question. I have my own thoughts, but would like a second opinion. Leading your better half into an unprofitable trade can have consequences far beyond fantasy:)

    Who gets the best of this trade:
    Gordon Beckham + Justin Smoat
    for Pedro Alvarez and Derrick Lee

    Thanks

  103. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
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    correction: Smoak

  104. Jake says:
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    @cubfever7:

    Juan Pierre translates to John Peter, both apostles. Takes a little thinking but yepppppppp!

  105. Steve says:
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    Hey Grey! Please help me out. Grab Thornton, Farnsworth or Storen?

  106. BayFilmsSuck says:
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    nobody got the poison reference? shame on some of you.

  107. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @Paulie Allnuts: i know everyone is high on alverez,and if he hits 25+ hrs he deserves it but i really like bech this year to,and even with a par year i think lee betters smoak this year so id take alverez side

  108. Wake Up says:
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    For those with Bills and Kennedy(as I do)…I know we are not exactly ecstatic right now…but their April #’s are usually pretty bad, then they settle in…

    Side note…I found this site this morning while googling “Kavalier and Clay” so I am not that fimiliar with Baseball matches, though I do enjoy when a match goes into overtime and both sides score many points.

  109. Wilsonian says:
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    @BayFilmsSuck: nah, I’ve been singin’ “Every Rose has it’s Thorn” all damn morning… I do believe every night has it’s dawn, as well…

  110. Feeding the Abscess

    Travis says:
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    Niese has an unsustainably low strand rate, if your team has the room to hold him as a spot starter I’d keep him around. 3.80 xFIP last year (3.54 in a SSSS this year) plus Metco = could do a lot worse

    Grey:

    I hope Liriano’s missed ST time is a factor. I’m more concerned that his shoulder injury from the spring is the culprit. With his trade value so low, we don’t really have much of a choice but to ride it out and see if it’s just that he hates April.

    My oatmeal is now salty and lukewarm.

  111. Wilsonian says:
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    @Wake Up: yeah, I’m unfortunately an owner of both of them, and I’m not dropping either one…yet…

  112. royce! says:
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    Not sure if this has been mentioned yet, but the Dodgers called up De Jesus, and not Gordon, which may be of interest to those in NL only leagues.

  113. ken plane says:
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    Twins want Liriano to pitch to contact – mission accomplished?

  114. Nuke LaDouche says:
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    @Wake Up: Glad to see someone else knows some Chabon! Kavalier and Clay is my favorite novel, but along with fantasy sports one of my main interests is comic books. So the answer is, yes the bitches do be flockin.

  115. Buster Hymen says:
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    Hey Ian Kennedy – thanks for killing my weekly ERA…with a helping hand from Matt Thornton. F…

  116. bill says:
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    @Grey: Very deep 6×6 with quality starts. Which 2 of these starters would you cut. Thanks.

    SP – JHammel
    SP – MHarrison
    SP – JMasterson
    SP – JMcDonald
    SP – BNorris
    SP – CNarveson
    SP – CPavano
    SP – RPorcello
    SP – CRichard
    SP – ERogers

  117. and1mcgee says:
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    @Grey: i’m stupid. Murphy already rostered. Gomes, Willingham, Matsui, Colvin (im afriad you’ll say him), …. maybe i should just pick up angel sanchez, shit.

  118. and1mcgee says:
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    @bill: norris and rogers

  119. Joel says:
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    one last question: would you trade Justin Upton and Ian kennedy to get Ubaldo Jimenez and carlos beltran? My 4th and 5th OFs are Torriii Hunter and Mike Bourn.

  120. Eddy says:
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    @Grey:

    What tier of OF would be fair trade when asking for Hamilton?

  121. Wake Up says:
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    @Nuke LaDouche: Tell me about it. Just got off the phone with my girlfriend in Canada. She was telling me how her porn career is going pretty well and how she wants me to come up and have a threesome with one of her girlfriends. I was trying to explain to her, ya know, I got a lot going on right now. I’ll have to get back to you!

  122. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    Aroldis chapman shut down a few days,loss of velocity from 103 to 93 the reason

  123. and1mcgee says:
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    @Eddy: give grey some options on who you are thinking about…. makes it easier

  124. Joel says:
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    actually, one additional Q: would u rather have Ubaldo or Dan Haren for the rest of the season? if Haren, is it close?

  125. Nuke LaDouche says:
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    @Wake Up: I hear ya. Just the other day I was at the bookstore, you know doin my thang, when a gaggle of fine young honeys came up to me and asked if I wanna spend the summer with them in Cancun. Classic sex party summer invite. Of course I had to let them know, I gots tickets to comic-con this summer ladies so keep steppin. Play on player.

  126. Nuke LaDouche says:
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    Now for a real question. Zambrano just hit the waivers. Worth dropping Narveson for him or is Big Z finished?

  127. @Grey: Thank you… for both. I actually got her to crack a little last night and say that I might be right about Phillip. I think it was the rant about “Stealth ‘R Us” complete with facial ticks that tipped the scales in my favor. Dood is whacked… I’d be frightened to have to spend any time in a shelter with him; I’d rather bunk with CT.

  128. Eddy says:
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    @and1mcgee:

    Thing is I’m actually the one entertaining offers. I took over a random team early last off-season and I was forced to keep Hamilton. I’ve had several 1 for 1 offers like Adam Jones and Jeter but I don’t know what’d be considered asking too much. I declined the Adam Jones one, and I want to decline the Jeter one, though my SS is Alcides in the 16-team league.

    In my opinion, I don’t think asking for guys that are doing well, such as Quentin or Alex Rios, is such a long shot. Or is it? I just don’t want to get a player who is struggling (Delmon Young) in return for Hamilton. I want someone who is currently hot.

  129. cubfever7 says:
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    Sheesh–didn’t realize we had so many Biblical and French scholars in here. Since several of you seem to be learned in the Book of Truth–here a re few trivia questions:

    Is there baseball in heaven?
    Did Moses ever make it to the Promised Land? (hint it’s a NT question)
    Who wrote the third most number of books in the Bible?

  130. cubfever7 says:
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    @ Lines–yea that was fairly dickish–but the apology is noted. That’s the hazard of items in print be they newpapers or e-mails or whatever–tough to convey tone.

    Also paraphrasing Teddy Roosevelt–“”A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education.” So I would say to you–more church and less school! ;c-)

  131. Wake Up says:
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    @Nuke LaDouche: Narveson pitching tomm. night. If you can wait, it might become clearer.

  132. and1mcgee says:
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    @cubfever7: you’re making cubs fans look pretty ignorant and stupid.

  133. Wake Up says:
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    @cubfever7: “Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.” B. Russell

  134. JG_ism says:
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    @grey
    @anyone else as well…
    Once Longoria returns….who should I drop.?
    Pavano or Correia? Rest of staff is Cain,Anderson,Morrow,Hellickson,Holland & Beachy

    Thanks

  135. papasmurf says:
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    My team’s the opposite. Only good thing is wins. I have 10 already somehow even though ERA and WHIP sucks. For offense, 7 homers and a .253 BA. Roberts has 3 of’em. Ugly stuff.

  136. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @JG_ism: Correia

    @papasmurf: I’ll trade you.

    *****THERE’S A NEW POST FOR FOLLOWUPS.******

  137. ujoh says:
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    LeCure or Ogando?

  138. Tom Emanski says:
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    “Matt Wieters – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his first homer. Matt Wieters Fact: The only person that can get Matt Wieters out is himself.”

    Brilliant!

  139. AL KOHOLIC says:
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    @ujoh: gotta think ogando,but both should have a low amount of innings in them this year after being relievers,but im watching lecure closely also

  140. MrHappyTime says:
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    Jordan Walden or Jose Contreras for the rest of the season? I have Walden, just wanna see what you think I should do. Thanks

  141. Harry's Kid says:
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    Hey Grey:

    12team Yahoo Mixed League, H2H 5×5: Last Util Hitter – Byrd or Murphy?

    P.S. Despite the E-Reed, still no clue who you’re alter ego is!

  142. Casey Blake's Beard says:
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    Hi Grey. Looking for bench strength. I need power, don’t really need speed. Freeman, DLee, Dan Johnson, Sean-Rod, Luke Scott, Moreland, Gomes available. Fuld also on the wire who I could try and trade. Drop Trumbo for any of the above? Thanks in advance.

  143. Big Nate says:
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    I believe in the Church of Baseball. I tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I’ve worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. ~Ron Shelton, Bull Durham, 1988

  144. cubfever7 says:
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    @ and1mcgee: Cub fans are by definition stupid. I admit it. We all the know the definition of insanity right? And yet no matter how often we get the same results–we keep expecting something different.

    Trivia answer #1 (I’ll skip the rest so as to not upset fans of Bertrand, Bill, Jane, Cazzie, Andy and Nipsey).

    Yes–there is baseball in heaven–Genesis 1:1 “In the big inning….” …I know it’s a groaner but what they hey.

  145. Chinaski says:
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    Hi Grey,

    Alvarez or Freese? And yeah i am a Longoria AND Zimmerman owner!

  146. longbeachyo says:
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    Lindstrom picked up streets garbage…..
    do i drop macdonald or thornton to get lindstrom??? Or does street have nothing to worry about?

    Shirt ideas: SAGNOF & DOODE (not together of course)

  147. Lines says:
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    @cubfever7: “Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and tortuous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we call it the word of a demon than the word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind; and, for my part, I sincerely detest it, as I detest everything that is cruel.” – Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

    Thanks also for prompting me to reexamine my respect for Teddy Roosevelt.

    And now, back to baseball.

  148. @Grey: Who would you rather have riding the pine on your team Belt or Travis Snider?

  149. Alex says:
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    hey grey,

    quick trade question…

    in a “keep ur 5 best” 11 team standard 5×5, just got offered hamilton, 3rd round pick in next year’s draft (8th round overall), plus vernon wells for Matt Holliday.

    My offense is very solid with Napoli, Fielder, Kinsler, Desmond, Kendrick, Longoria, Reynolds, Kemp, Stubbs, Hunter, Crisp, Holliday, and Rajai, and Martin on bench.

    i think i can afford the short term hit…what do u think

  150. Carlos Z has slurpees says:
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    @Grey I would definitely read the Yiddish Player’s Association starring Max Scherzer. Lance Berkman as the Golem.

  151. Mr2Bits says:
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    Grey : Guthrie, Chen or Lohse for spot start?

  152. Steve says:
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    @Chicago Mike: @Alex: @Mr2Bits: You guys shold ask your questions in the newest post. Grey tends not to check back on the old ones.

  153. Shawn says:
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    Grey, I need trade advice.

    I have Romero, Hughes, Verlander, Haren, Pineda, Halladay, Narveson, Peavy & Johan

    Looking to trade Stephen Drew and a pitcher for Jose Reyes. He’s asking for Haren and Drew. Should I deal Haren?

    League info 7 x 8 offense includes 3B, OBP, Ks against, Pitching includes W, L, CG, SHO

  154. jross says:
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    If you think that m’s lineup yesterday was bad this is what the jays lineup looked like
    1. Yunel Escobar
    2. Corey Patterson
    3. Jose Bautista
    4. Juan Rivera
    5. Jayson Nix
    6. Jp Arencibia
    7. Edwin Encarnacion
    8. John McDonald
    9. Jose Molina

    That makes me want to puke in my mouth…..

    and im a huge jays fan

  155. mc serch says:
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    @longbeachyo: @Grey:
    I second “Doode” for the tshirt….use it regularly in texts and emails ….chicks dig it …. thanks Grey!

Comments are closed.