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Yo, Hater Bell, here. Just returned from Tijuana where I stocked up on thirty cases of Rohypnol and three nights worth of donkey show ideas. The things you can do with Tequila, duct tape and a roll of quarters. Now to hatch my plan to take out ESPN’s top fantasy analyst, Eric Karabell, at the next fantasy baseball summit in Spring ’09. Until then, I gots to take out his heart with my words. En garde, bizznatch!

Karabaloney decided to play with his Speak and Spell again as the ESPN “experts” went over their top 340 for the 2nd half rankings. There’s so many things here that make me long for a decent feedback form on the ESPN page that sometimes I find myself filling in the random restaurant comment card with Karabell suggestions:

The dash of cinnamon on the lamb was not lost on me. Delicate enough for taste, but not too fragrant. Now if you can only explain ranking Michael Cuddyer at 181!

So Kosuke Fukudome was ranked 112 overall using ESPN’s mathematical ranking system:

Jack Daniels(Radio Shack calculator)²= Top 340 Fantasy Baseball Players.

Karabell in his infinitesimal wisdom ranked Fukudome 102. Here’s the Karalogic:

Whille Fukudome hasn’t been quite what we thought, let’s remember this is his first year in the states. I think he’ll hit for a better average in the second half since he does take walks and has seen what stuff MLB pitchers have. Plus, let’s not underestimate what a .300 average is worth. It’s underrated, especially since I see him ending the year there, which means he hits .320 or so over the final two months. I see him ending up with 15 homers and 15 steals, which, combined with a good batting average, makes him near a top-100 player.

You need a Bachelors in Stupidity to fully understand this, but luckily I have my Masters in Throwing Out the Karabage. Let’s see, underestimate what a .300 average is worth? It’s worth .300, right? So he’s helping you about as much as who? Skip Schumaker? Excuse me while I yawn. That’s assuming Fukudome doesn’t continue to nosedive in average as he’s currently doing.

What if he’s more than his overly optimistic .300 average. Let’s say Fukudome gives you a little bit of everything. That’s more vauable, isn’t it? It sure is. So let’s look at the most comparable player, David Dejesus. (Actually, he’s not completely comparable because he did better than Fukudome in the 1st half, but let’s say he is comparable.) If Karabell said Fukudome should be at 102, where’s Dejesus on the list? Dead last at 340. Well, that makes sense. Yo, Karabell, go get your shinebox!

141 Responses

  1. Denys says:
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    So what exactly is the point of this Karabell hatin’? I mean he sucks – we get it. Are you seriously gonna make a couple dozen articles about it throughout the season just to prove an already proven point?

  2. Joe says:
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    @Denys: I like Hater Bell. Karabell also had Carlos Gomez ranked 93. ‘Nuff said.

    ESPN didn’t rank Mike Aviles in their top 26 shortstops.

    Grey, i was on the verge of picking up Grabow for Kaz yesterday but didn’t in the end. I am typing this in such a way i’m worried my keyboard will break.

  3. Joe says:
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    And Chris Davis, 3 hits, 3 runs and another homer yesterday, on my bench! At least Kouz had another multi-hit game.

  4. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Joe: I hear you, brother. Sonovabench! WHY DO I KEEP BENCHING CHRIS DAVIS?

    I picked up the red-hot EE and thought, I’ll start EE against Colorado at home, and sit Davis in Oakland against a lefty. IT MATTERS NOT — DAVIS GOES DONK AGAIN. Home/road, lefty-righty — HE IS UNSTOPPABLE. CHRIS DAVIS IS A DESTROYER OF WORLDS.

    I must write this 100 times on the blackboard.

    Feh.

  5. Joe says:
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    Yeah, i’m having trouble accomodating my hitters in my 14-teamer, i’m gonna try and trade Quentin off.

    I’ve got 1B Cabrera, 3B Wright, OF 3 of Markakis, Hart, Rios and Quentin, and then in utility, either the remaining OF, Kouzmanoff or Davis…..If Matsui comes back off the DL i’ll have a major headache!

    A few questions…..
    John Maine was just dropped to waivers (by accident) by a guy in my league. Put a claim in on him for Garza or Kaz?
    Pick up Embree or Casilla so i’m not kicking myself like i was with Grabow? By the way, i’m a Marte owner. Oh damn, there’s a guy i’ll be dropping.
    Perez got the save last night and got picked up in my league, i hope Kobayashi is still gonna get the vast majority of looks?
    Who’s gonna replace Nady, Pearce or McCutcheon, and should they be added?

  6. BSA says:
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    Alright I am willing to look at Davis since *YAWN* he is available in my league. I have Alexei Ramirez and Pence on my bench with Encarnacion Utility and Wright at 3rd. My outfield is KYoung, Grandy, and Sparkakis.

  7. Joe says:
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    Oh yeah my boy Alexei with 3 more hits last night!

    @BSA: Are you yawning at Davis?? You’re not worthy of his superpowers. But regardless, i’d drop Alexei for him if you’re not starting him at second. Or Pence, or Krispie, or EE!

  8. BSA says:
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    Not yawning at Davis so relax. Yawning at the fact that I can follow this blog and find those players mentioned. Whereas in the RCL if the wind is blowing the right way and Grey thinks about writing about a player, said player has been picked up the week before Grey even thought about mentioning him.

  9. knighttown says:
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    So the guy with the huge innings overage just made me this offer…Cook, Moyer and Hinske for Filthy and Dye. Moyer and Hinke would be drops for me so I rejected it out of hand. I looked at his team and he has Peavy. I’d like to take a run at him with a bat or two…he’s got like 7 SP’s and great RP’s.

    Me:
    OF-Dye, Dunn, Quentin, Swisher, Bruce, Ibanez, Guillen, Tatis
    IF- Howard, Fielder, A-Rod, Rollins, Upton, Polanco/Aviles

    Which combo of bats (or a 1-for-1) is a fair offer? Which is just less than fair since he is the “needy” one?

  10. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @knighttown: Quentin for Peavy might get it done.

    Or Dunn for Peavy.

    @Joe: Maine: Yes, for Garza, No, for Kazmir. Or just drop Marte.

    Casilla is the speculative add in the A’s pen. Don’t add both.

    Kobayashi should continue getting the ball unless he continues to suck. That, my friend, is called science. If there’s some youngster on the horizon, though, don’t be surprised: The Indians have already waved the white flag on this season.

  11. @Denys: Fair point. Unfortunately, we signed Hater Bell to a contract thinking he’d be hating on other things but he’s rather focused in his ire. Kind of like televangelists and gay sex.

  12. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Denys: Hatin’ on Hater Bell? Hmm…. By your rationale, health care sucks, but it’s been proven by other people, why bother anymore?

    @Joe: I’d prefer Maine over Garza, but they’re close.

    Drop Marte. I’d go Kyle McClellan then Casilla.

    Pearce will replace him and should be added in deep leagues.

    @knighttown: I’d offer him Quentin or Dunn straight up for Peavy. Or Rollins, but this would be my third offer.

  13. Joe says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I was talking about Kaz Matsui, not Kazmir. If i was to consider dropping Kazmir in a 14 team league, Grey should start a Hater Joe column.

  14. Joe says:
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    After the way Embree performed in the role last year and given Casilla’s struggles since he’s came back from injury, i think Embree has a good shot at being the guy if Street is traded.

  15. knighttown says:
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    Speaking of Kazmir, how close is that guy to a Top-3 Fanstasy Pitcher in 2009? His stuff is filthy if he can stay healthy. Knighttown’s AL Cy Young winner in ’09…book it.

  16. Scott says:
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    Fukudome has enlightened me on how stupid most people really are. The fact that he was an All-Star baffled and really annoyed me. If Fukudome was some American named Dave Jones, no one would know who he was based on his stats. Ryan Theriot is having a better season than Fukudome and Theriot is nothing more than a runt 2B.

    Seeing as how Fukudome is only hitting .198 with 1 homerun, 3 rbi’s, and 1 stolen base over the last month, I’d have to come to the conclusion that he’s getting much worse as the season goes on.. Not better.

    I’d be surprised if Fukudome hit higher than .250, 3 hr, 15 rbi, 3 sb the rest of the season.

    .250 is being pretty generous too..

  17. BSA says:
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    Hey Grey and BVV, check comment #6 for me. Looking for input.

  18. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Joe: But Oakland’s going nowhere, and Embree’s nobody’s idea of a closer of the future. So they might want to audition Casilla there.

    I think it’s Devine’s role eventually. Kind of like that role in Pink Flamingoes.

    @Scott: He is an excellent argument as to why MLB should institute a rule limiting All-Star starters voted in from a single team. Otherwise, soon it will be the Bosox versus the Cubs. Just make a rule that only two players can start from any one team. Anyone else voted in (e.g. the 3rd highest vote-getter from a team) gets thrown back into gen pop and added at the manager’s discretion.

    Whiny Cubs Fan: But what if that third guy is the best at his position?

    Baron: Boo fiddling hoo. This ain’t the Nobel Peace Prize. If he deserves to play, he’ll get picked as a sub and get his requisite one inning. In a related story: Stop ballot-stuffing, you greedy apes.

  19. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @BSA: I stopped reading at Davis YAWN — because you can’t be dissing my boy Davis. Even though you weren’t. I see that now. But I couldn’t see it then, because I stopped reading. A paradox, no?

    Yes, definitely look at Davis. Then pick him up. Then insert him in your lineup.

    Why is Alexei Ramirez on anybody’s bench? Do you have Glass Joe as your starting 2B?

    I would also, and this is just the bourbon talking, think about trading for a slugging OF if possible. Krispy Young, bless his heart, ain’t doing squat so far this year. Grandy isn’t much of a power threat either. Nor Sparkakis. Not saying bench them (well, maybe Krispy) but you might look to upgrade. You could even put your faith in EE and dangle David Wright. He should bring back pretty much any offensive player you care to target.

    Then again, maybe your infield is Howard, Utley, Mike Schmidt and Boog Powell, in which case, not to worry.

  20. Denys says:
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    @Grey: Hating is such a strong word… more like… questioning the continuing of his existence. But as Rudy mentioned. I definitely want to see his talented hatin’ go towards other things beside Karabell. A true hater let’s his hate expand (not unlike a nuclear explosion).

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: I reread #6 and #8 and didn’t really understand them. Should you pick up Davis? Of course, he has 9 Hrs in 85 at-bats. He’s on pace for 20 in half a season. I wrote about Davis here:

    http://razzball.com/chris-davis-fantasy-baseball/

    That was a month ago. Davis is cut from the same cloth as Dunn (and that’s a lot of cloth). He might get five more home runs this month then collapse into a serious K funk, but until then he’s startable in every league, even in a 5 team 5×5.

    @Scott: @Denys: I think Scott really gets what works about Hater Bell. He points out what nonsense other ‘perts are saying so you know how others are thinking. So if you’re in a deep league and you have Fukudome, you trade him for a piece that’s larger than you should get for a guy that techinically has Skip Schumaker numbers.

    @knighttown: He has the stuff for Cy Young, just a matter of Patron Saint of Health holding up her end of the bargain.

  22. BSA says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I hear you Baron. My infield is Fielder, Utley, Tulo, Wright.
    Part of the trading issue is out of the ten teams I can only trade with four. I will see what I can do about Wright. I’ll have to look around for something.

    Since CYoung was picked up off free agency I’ll probably move him for Davis.

    @Grey: Davis makes me reminisce of Bruce.

  23. Denys says:
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    The following statement is nonsense – I hate it when Rios homers the week I really need steals…

  24. RT says:
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    Which side would you rather have?

    Chipper Jones/Jon Sanchez

    for

    Jeter/ Cliff Lee

  25. Zebo says:
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    @Grey: Brandon Phillips + Thome + Kazmir for Peavy + Hawpe?
    Philips + Thome + Tim Hudson for Peavy + Hawpe?

  26. Denys says:
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    @RT: Jeter and Lee plz.

  27. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Denys: I guess your doubly mad now.

  28. knighttown says:
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    And the magic of Grey-skull works again. Only hours after it was suggested, I have moved Carlos Quentin and Jose Guillen for Jake Peavy. Well actually, no one approved the addition of Guillen but he’s not that good and he’s kind of mean and I’m really trying for a cohesive fantasy clubhouse.

    The guy admitted he had never played in a league with a “max innings” rule and +200IP is alot with 2 months left. I’d like to take a moment to thank Carlos Quentin for a phenomenal 2/3 of a season (26HR/76RBI/72Runs).

  29. Scott says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins:

    I don’t have a problem with more than 2 players from one team being on an All-Star team.. As long as they deserve it. But when almost all the American League starters consist of Red Sox and Yankees, that’s a problem.

    I live in Atlanta so I guess that makes me a National League guy, and when I see Fukudome, Griffey Jr, Soriano (injured), etc getting voted onto the team, it makes it pretty easy to understand why the NL hasn’t won in over a decade.

    Fans are always going to vote for their hometown players. So the coaches need to be allowed to make the final decision and veto any bullshit players like Griffey and Fukudome off the team and replace them with worthy players.

    And McCann doesn’t get to play until like the 18th inning? What’s up with that, he’s a top 3 catcher in all of baseball. But whatever, I don’t even watch the All-Star game so I don’t know why I let it annoy me so much.

  30. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Scott: Trouble is, the cities that vote in all the homer starters — i.e. big market cities — are also the same damn cities that hog all the ESPN games-of-the-week, and generally run roughshod all over baseball. I mean, it’s bad enough you have to watch nationally televised Red Sox-Yankees games, like, 100 times a year. Then the All-Star game is essentially a Red Sox – Cubs game?

    There are so many things wrong with the All Star game, it’s hard to know where to start. Oh wait, I know where to start: Stop caring about it.

    See? Much better.

  31. Steve says:
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    Want to ride Davis’ hot streak. If I pick him up it would mean benching (not dropping) Howard or Tex to get him in my lineup. WWRD? (What Would Razzballers Do?)

  32. wakeNbake says:
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    @Grey: how do you feel about Fernando Rodney? trustworthy enough to be used?

  33. wakeNbake says:
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    @Steve: I believe you asked this same question a while back and I recommended you pick up Davis. PICK HIM UP!!… If I were you since you have 2 top 1B already, Id play matchups with them. Maybe something like starting Davis vs. righties, or benching Howard vs. lefties every once and a while although I would never bench Howard. Try exploring some trade options with your firstbasemen… maybe you can get something you need and replace one of them with Davis.

  34. Zebo says:
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    @Grey: trade Laroche for scott baker?

  35. wakeNbake says:
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    @Zebo: I would

  36. Denys says:
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    @Zebo: Funny I asked the same thing on the forums last night.

    Chris Davis just racked another one!

  37. emayetee says:
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    What I really don’t get about these rankings or the yahoo rankings is how they have maybe 10 pitchers in the top 100, even though they’re responsible for half the categories. Umm…

  38. RT says:
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    @wakeNbake: I agree. Pick him up and make a trade the nets you something big for howard or tex.

  39. Martin says:
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    should i trade garret atkins for soriano and adam laroche

  40. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Denys: “The following statement is nonsense – I hate it when Rios homers the week I really need steals…” — Ha

    @RT: Jeter Lee — which is a great female country singer name.

    @Zebo: I would get Baker and those are fair deals for Peavy and Hawpe, but they are giving up a lot.

    @knighttown: Awesome!

    @wakeNbake: Rodney’s been solid lately, sure.

    @Steve: Sometimes you just don’t have room on a team. You’ll drive yourself crazy benching Howard or Tex. Trade one or let Davis be.

    @emayetee: Hitters are easily to forecast on performance so you’ll always find more hitters over pitchers. Pitchers unpredictability makes ranking them and trading for them a bit more dicey.

  41. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Martin: It’s risky, but could pay huge dividends. Depends how much risk you want to take on. I wouldn’t personally, but I could see someone doing it and being rewarded highly.

  42. drizzle21 says:
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    After his great start last night, it is time to stick with Joba or trade him and Oswalt for Beckett and Kuo? It’s in a head-to-head league, so I’m not trying to get under innings or anything. I just don’t think I can trust Oswalt anymore this season.

  43. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @drizzle21: I don’t trust Oswalt either. I’d go for Beckett and Kuo.

  44. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey

    The chick at Ruby Tuesdays makes a mean mojito. She’s not even Cuban, go figure.

    Anyone see the Hamels start? Was it as bad as it looks on paper?

  45. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: I had Hamels and Carmona on one team. Ugh. BTW, Kotchman just hit another HR. Cust kayin’.

  46. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey

    Hamels= Ugh

    Shoulda traded him instead of Kazmir. Guys been talking about innings on here, they may be right.

    re. Kotchman

    I know, have him in the RCL. Also have Chad Tracey, nice backups for Chipper and Crede.

    BTW, Carpenter will make the start in Atlanta on Wednesday.

  47. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Yeah, those are solid backups.

    What’s the word out of St. Louis on Carpenter?

  48. BSA says:
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    Where would Scott Baker fit in if my pitching staff is assembled and filled with Bedard, Cueto, Harden, Hudson, Lincee, Shields, Broxton, Fuentes, Paps, Soria. Each week I throw 4 starters and 3 closers. Should I drop someone for him?
    I don’t know wtf to do with Bedard and Lincee’s last few starts are scaring me that management may be a day late on watching his pitch count.

  49. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Bedard is Deadard. He’s not going to give you much this year. Not that he has yet. Lincecum could be in serious trouble because of innings. My recommendation is you try and see what he can get in a trade for him or Paps. You’ll be fine in saves with the other three.

    BTW, I hate Carmona.

  50. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey

    I wouldn’t count on him for a few starts, little rusty.

    He hit one batter in the head but struck out 5, gave up 4 hits, 2 earned runs in 5 2/3 innings.

    I like this quote from him

    “I walked two guys, then hit that one guy.”

    Hit that one guy IN THE HEAD!

    Who are you Carp? Jules or Vincent Vega?

  51. BSA says:
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    @Grey: “BTW, I hate Carmona.”?

  52. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey

    Carp as a Russian boxer, I like it.

    Take that mentality out on the mound you’ll be like Gibby.

    Gibby was lucky by the way, he always seemed to pitch on days when the other team wasn’t hitting.

  53. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Do you see his start tonight?

    @BigFatHippo: “Gibby was lucky by the way, he always seemed to pitch on days when the other team wasn’t hitting.” — For what, ten years?

  54. BSA says:
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    No, I am just getting caught up with you guys tonight, checking my teams, and have yet to watch a game. Off to check….

  55. BSA says:
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    Talk about shaking out the cobwebs. Let me guess you pitched him tonight?

  56. BigFatHippo says:
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    @BSA

    Welcome back. The babys crying, give him a tit. Then trade me Rollins.

    @Grey

    17 years actually. Dude was a stud.

    He had more complete games than wins. 255 to 251

    Pitched 12 innings once and lost one to nothing. I’d say that qualifies as a stud.

  57. BSA says:
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    Aaah, let’s hope I found something on the RCL free agent market in Andy Marte. I’m so sick of being a day late.

  58. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Don’t you think dude should rhyme with stud rather than dud? Who do I take that up with?

    Comment #45, I had Hamels and Carmona in one league. That’s the league where I’m beating Rudy by 20 points. Zoinks!

    EDIT: Cuz.

  59. BSA says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Quiet house allows me to be here. I need a good laugh – lets see, if Theodor Geisel played fantasy baseball….
    A Big Fat Hippo came callin’
    for a guy named Rollin
    Grey would say buy low by asking for Utley and Glaus
    to offset loss
    at a thin position
    that everyone is itchin’
    to fill

  60. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Pretty good… I’m also in a quiet house. Let’s see…

    Fantasy Baseball
    Jockular Sphincteritis
    Why can’t I get laid?

    EDIT: That’s a haiku for the ones in the dark.

    EDIT II: A bad haiku, at that.

  61. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Grey: Want to hear a funny joke?

    After all my bitching about benching Davis — I benched him again tonight. I’d already dropped EE (dropped E — heh) to clear my Util spot for Davis, and then I thought, “It’s EE in Cincy against Jose De La Nobody, and Davis in Oakland against the Dook. No way Davis homers two nights in a row. It would be just like EE to go off in his final game on my roster.”

    INCORRECT. IT WOULD BE JUST LIKE DAVIS TO DONK AGAIN, AND KEEP DONKING, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HE DOES. HE DONKS.

    Punchline: Me.

    This may well be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in Fantasy Baseball. Actually, that was dropping Soria last year for Dave Roberts.

    As God is my witness, Chris “The Donkasaurus” Davis will not spend one more day on my bench this season.

  62. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey

    Webster

    Change the word to Stude. Dude’s a Stude.

    Skip has 4 hits tonight BTW. Yes, Skip=Fukodome

  63. Grey

    Grey says:
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    BTW, on my teams, I have Rios, Davis, Delgado, Kotchman and A-Gone. Mos Def.

  64. BSA says:
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    Hey Baron, Confidence or stupidity not withdrawing after seeing Fausto puke all over himself?

  65. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Summerdog

    What would Dr Suess have to say about this?

    I would not could not trade an Utley for a Schmutley

    There’s a Wocket in my pocket (get your hand out of there, that’s not a wocket)

    Alright, I don’t know where I’m goin with this, but there’s an offer on the table.

  66. BSA says:
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    Saw it and considering. I have another one involving a player you want.

  67. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: BTW, Dook is/was due for a major correction. I think BABIP was something like .210. ie. A pitcher should be around .300. Lots of luck was involved with Dook’s first half.

  68. BigFatHippo says:
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    Don’t do anything before countering with me.

    Your trade with BVV actually helps you there.

  69. BigFatHippo says:
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    @BVV, Grey

    You may be right, McClellan struck out the side in the 8th.

    But Franklin pitching the 9th.

  70. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Ya know, Fuentes may go to the Cards and close in Franklin’s stead. Franklin’s unusable right now.

  71. BSA says:
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    @BigFatHippo: You have to be in sales.

  72. BigFatHippo says:
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    @BSA

    Ha

    Good call, tires and service. And I’m sick of it. Nobody has any money anymore.

    @Grey

    Yeah, Franklinstein sucks. I’ll take Fuentes.

  73. RT says:
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    Thank you Carmona. Jackass. At least there is tiny Tim.

  74. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Grey: I don’t doubt it. I just didn’t expect it to come tonight at the bat of Mighty Davis. Or, at least, didn’t want to count on it.

    I’m like Wallace Shawn in Princess Bride, talking myself out of things I should be talking myself into.

  75. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    P.S. I finally did it.

    I finally dropped Bruce.

    Kyle McClellan… come on down!

  76. wakeNbake says:
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    Does Devine get the closer job in Oakland if Street gets moved? Hes almost back and I always heard he was their closer in waiting.

  77. RT says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins:
    I think I held him as long as you did. Moved him today for Pierre and hopefully a boatload of second half steals and runs.

  78. BSA says:
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    @BigFatHippo:
    Take that for a test ride.

  79. BKK says:
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    @BigFatHippo: I was wrong the other day. It wasn’t Wainwright in the FA pool, it was Carpenter.

    @Grey: Drop Kuo and pick Buchholz (RP)?

  80. johnson says:
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    trade hammels for peavy?

  81. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @wakeNbake: I think the A’s picture is a bit of a mess in a successor. I think Casilla gets first chance but it could be Devine. Though I think McClellan has a better chance of sliding in in St. Louis.

    @BKK: Kuo’s good, but if you’re chasing saves, sure make that move.

    @johnson: Sure, Peavy is as solid as any, but it is a bit of an apples for apples trade.

  82. BSA says:
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    Can anyone give the story on Matt Joyce?

  83. johnson says:
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    @grey- as i said yesterday, i’m worried about hammels innings. 130 in 06, 180 in 07, and already 150+ in 08. get good value now or ride him?

  84. Nick says:
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    So what closer do I pickup, right now?

    Kobayashi-Indians
    Grabow-Pirates?
    Casilla-A’s (If Streets is traded?)
    Wheeler-Rays (If Streets is not traded?)
    Gonzalez-Braves (rather not)

    Also what should I do about Marcum & Carmona???

    My current pitchers are good and I don’t want Marcum & Carmona running my innings up and not having good outings…I have Zambrano,Sabathia, E Santana, Baker, Greinke.

  85. wakeNbake says:
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    @Nick: Id go Gonzalez first out of all the closers you mentioned… I dont know why youd rather not pick him up, hes definetely the best bet out of all the guys you listed.

  86. Steve says:
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    @BigFatHippo & Grey: General consensus seems (seemed?) to be that Clemens is/was the greatest living pitcher.

    Seems to me that Gibson has a pretty strong claim too…

  87. Joe says:
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    I’d put a big BUY tag on Van Benschoten, he’s due a turnaround. He.

  88. knighttown says:
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    I just activated Oswalt from the DL and now I have an open DL spot. ANy thoughts on who is out there I could hold that could give me some value down the line. Saito? pronk? Matsui?

  89. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: He was a farm boy who always dreamt of the majors– Oh, like his story on whether to pick him up? I’ve said this before, “His minor league stats point to power with no speed or great average. Ride him while he’s high, drop him when he starts falling. He’s on the business end side of the platoon.” Whether to pick him up? Depends who you’d be dropping.

    @johnson: If you can get Peavy, go for it. Depends how deep your league on how much you should worry. In a ten team league, I’d just pickup a waiver guy who is hot if Hamels goes down. A deeper league, go for Peavy.

    @Nick: Mike G. then the way you listed them from top to bottom. I agree with WnB, he’s good. He has an insane WHIP, a solid indicator.

    re: Carmona/Marcum — I dropped them in two ten team leagues. It’s way too late in the year to be waiting things out. A 12 team league, I’d bench them for their next start. Deeper than 12, you gotta check the waiver wire and see if there’s any options.

    @Steve: Maddux, Pedro and Randy were pretty damn nasty at their height.

    @Joe: Turn around, as in put back on the bus for the minors?

    @knighttown: Matsui

  90. Zebo says:
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    @everyone: is Carpenter worth trading Laroche/thome for?

  91. Joe says:
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    BVV, just to let ya know, i benched Davis again yesterday too. I’m starting him today, so i fully expect him to go 0-for.

  92. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Zebo: Depends what those guys are doing on your team. Though I’d say no, Carpenter is a risky proposition and I’d let someone else take the risk.

  93. Zebo says:
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    @Joe: i hear you, I benched him cuz he was up against duchesrer. Now I have missed 4 homers from him in the last nine games on the road away from Arlington. Now I am starting him, I expect him to go 0 for 41 in the next week.

  94. Zebo says:
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    @Grey: it is hard to find playing time for them, with the logjam of Ortiz, Laroche, Chris Davis, Cano, Thome. I tried to turn them into pitching, but the owner of Scott Baker is tight in a race against me, so he does not want to give me Baker. Carpenter owner is asking for hitters.

  95. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Zebo: Yeah, you have an abundance of the same hitter. Trade them for Carpenter. Or trade Davis and LaRoche. For those who think I’m hatin’ on Davis, remember how great Bruce looked two months ago.

  96. cruisinkc says:
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    Who should I start in my utility spot today?
    Adam LaRoche
    Kevin Kouzmanoff
    BJ Upton

    Usually I wouldn’t have any hesitations starting Upton but he’s been struggling lately and the other two guys have been hot. What do you think?

  97. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @cruisinkc: I’d still go with BJ, but I could understand Kouz.

  98. Zebo says:
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    @Grey: has any pither ever come back successively one year after reconstructive elbow surgery?

  99. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Zebo: I guess “successively” needs to be qualified. He might be usable, he won’t be lights out. 12 to 15 months to pitch again in the majors. Next July, he becomes the pitcher he once was, barring any setback. This is 99% of pitchers returning from TJ.

  100. BigFatHippo says:
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    Actually Carp’s already done it once. He missed all of 03 then went 15-5 in 04.

    It wasn’t Tommy John but serious enough he considered quitting till his wife talked him out of it.

    Just one more reason Women are smarter than us.

  101. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey
    Rank these pitchers going forward. I need ERA and WHIP.

    Maine, Lowe, Moyer, Wandy

  102. Martin says:
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    do u think wainwright is going to come back as a closer?

  103. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Martin: I’m not one for rumors, but I think that rumor makes a lot of sense. The Cards have a great closer in Wainwright and they can get him back to closer form quicker than it’ll take him to get to starting shape. Not to mention the obvious, their closing picture right now is ugly.

  104. BigFatHippo says:
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    Thanks, I was leaning towards Lowe. These guys keep streaming pitchers trying to catch me and occasionally they leave someone useful out there.

  105. JR says:
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    ****RODNEY NOW CLOSING

    Per CBSsportsline. Leyland apparently announced it before the game.

  106. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @JR: Awesome heads up. Thanks so much.

  107. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @JR: Awesome. I just grabbed him.

    Fernando Rodney, yes?

    Odd choice, given his numbers.

    Is there a link or something?

  108. BigFatHippo says:
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    Thanks JR, i just added him in the RCL.

    Suckas

  109. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Damn I was right behind you. I just added Edwar Ramirez for no good reason ’cause I had an empty spot.

    Then I came here.

    Then I went to my Other League and grabbed Rodney.

    Then I went to the RCL.

    Ah well — I needed him in my Other League, after losing Rauch and Marte.

    SWEET!

    Thanks, JR!

  110. BigFatHippo says:
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    @BVV

    Ha

    Went to RCL first cause I have like, 5 closers in my other league. Then added him in the other league just to piss em off.

  111. JR says:
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    Not sure I can link because it’s password-protected. Here’s the text:

    “Fernando Rodney, RP DET
    News: MLB.com reports that Tigers manager Jim Leyland announced before Sunday’s game against the White Sox that RP Fernando Rodney will take over from RP Todd Jones as the team’s closer.
    Analysis: Jones had closed for Detroit the last 2 1/2 years, but blew his third save in 22 chances Friday night, and that was apparently enough for Leyland to make the move to Rodney. Jones has a 4.99 ERA and only three saves in July, so he wasn’t exactly pleasing his Fantasy owners. Jones could regain the job down the road, so hold on to him in deeper AL-only leagues, but only if you have the room. Rodney’s ownership will certainly zoom up from the current three percent, and he is now a viable No. 2 closer in all mixed leagues, even if he has only converted 21 of 42 save opportunities in his career.

  112. BSA says:
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    BVV, Hippo, Grey-
    I picked up Davis and also have EE. It was mentioned to trade Wright for more pop in the outfield. I am discussing/considering sending Wright and Markakis or Grandy for Braun and Sizemore, or should I go Wright for Sizemore, or……ideas?

  113. wakeNbake says:
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    OF COURSE!! I drop Rodney this morning!! DAMMIT!!

  114. BigFatHippo says:
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    @BSA

    If you can get Braun and Sizemore for Wright, Markakis AND Grandy, more power to you.

    I don’t think he’d do it.

  115. knighttown says:
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    After swooping in like a vulture for new closers Rodney, Hanrahan and Grabow in addition to BJ Ryan and JJ Putz, I’m flush at closer and looking to follow the Razzball tradition of trading the best of them for help elsewhere, perhaps at MI, OF or SP. BJ Ryan alone = what? BJ Ryan plus starter in need of upgrade equals what?

    SP- Peavy, Oswalt, Lilly, Filthy, Parra, Volquez, Campillo
    OF- Dunn, Dye, Ibanez, Tatis, Swisher
    IF- Upton, A-Rod, Howard, Rollins, Aviles/Polanco, Fielder
    C- Ianetta

    I’d like to upgrade OF or MI or maybe SP

  116. BigFatHippo says:
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    Rodney just struck out the side in the ninth.

    I think he likes his new role.

    wakeNbake, at least you get that, if you had him in your lineup.

  117. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @BSA: Needs aside, Wright should get you Sizemore. You don’t want to swap Wright for Braun.

    Of all possibilities here, I’d offer Markakis and Grandy for Braun. I doubt it will work, but that’s what I’d want to end up with, if you need HR. I don’t think Wright for Sizemore is the right move — Wright’s as likely to hit as many or more HRs before season’s end.

    @knighttown: Your infield looks fine. I’d want another starter if I was you — I’d fish for Matt Cain or Lackey or maybe Chris Young.

    Oswalt is an unknown quantity at this point, Lilly is a 3rd/4th guy at best, and Volquez is currently reading The Corrections. I’d want a solid guy you can plug in every 5th day and not worry too much about. James Shields, maybe?

    Go find the guy in your league who most needs saves, then try to pry loose his second best pitcher. Anyone under the Peavy/Webb/Haren/Santana tier should be obtainable with a closer + lesser starter like Campillo.

    Or do the same thing with OF — pair a closer with Dye and see what that brings back. Someone like Alex Rios should be attainable.

    @BigFatHippo: That’s just cruel.

  118. Joe says:
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    I missed out on Rodney, and Davis is 0 for just as i predicted. *seethes*

  119. BigFatHippo says:
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    @BVV

    It had to be said. He left it hanging out there like a dangling Hamels.

    Baked when ya shouda waked, wakeNbake.

    Actually, I can’t blame ya for dropping him, just dumb luck.

  120. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: I agree with the Baron.

    @knighttown: Your pitching and outfield are a bit lacking as the Baron pointed out. Trade some of the closers for a solid starter. Shields, Lackey, Billingsley, etc or a solid outfielder — Markakis, Upton, Abreu, etc.

  121. Mike says:
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    is Aramis Ramirez too much or not enough for K-Rod? My only category that I lack is saves.

  122. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Mike: Too much. You’re liable to get more saves from Hoffman and Rodney for the final two months then K-Rod. My advice is trade Aramis for two 2nd rate closers so you can get more.

  123. Steve says:
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    Mariano + Aviles + Howard (or Tex?) for Hanley? Aviles a throw-in obviously.

  124. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Sure, if you need Hanley. It’s a fair deal for both teams.

  125. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Don’t like my chances of it happening, as the guy with Hanley is travelling around Europe and never checks his email!

    Who do you think will have a better second half – Tex or Howard? My assessment would be about equal with Tex hitting for better average?

  126. Nick says:
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    Tomorrow I have Sabathia going against the Cubs & Greinke against the A’s…both have great research. I know I’m starting Sabathia, but do you start Greinke after his last 2 horrific starts? I just had E. Santana today hurt my ERA/WHIP and I’m above on innings allowed..Whatayathink?

  127. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Tex will have a better average, but Howard will lead him in HRs, RBIs and runs.

    @Nick: I’m starting Greinke tomorrow, but if he can’t handle the A’s then I’ll have to cut him on a few teams.

  128. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Sorry – should have been more direct with my question. If I am targetting Hanley (and given I have Davis and Hawpe/Markakis to cover 1B and Util), who is it best for me to offer up?

  129. BJ Ryan says:
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    should i try and pick up jerry hairston jr. before he comes back? I dont have a set position for him to play once healthy, but he can play a spot on my utility. I would drop ben francisco for him.

  130. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BJ Ryan: Yeah, if you need runs/steals, I’d do that.

  131. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey

    My lead just grew to 14 points.

    The 2nd place guy said something like this “Your 2 trades for justin and atkins and picking up dye pretty well did me in, I’m just playing for 2nd now.”

    Razzball does it again.

    @BJ Ryan

    Yeah, you want Hairston. Drop Francisco.

  132. SaltyBiscuits says:
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    Hey All,

    For next week…

    Pelfrey @ FLA
    Parra vs CHC
    Baker vs CHW

    Pick one.

  133. BSA says:
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    Time to get Ubaldo? I have Bedard and Lincee, both high K numbers but getting riskier by the start – or lack thereof in Bedard’s case. I also have been running with Cueto and Harden, don’t ask how I am still in the lead but these guys have been producing. Which leads me to wonder when the wheels come off.

  134. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Nice

    @SaltyBiscuits: Baker

    @BSA: Ubaldo’s solid for now, but, as always, home games can be dicey. I don’t see anyone there to drop for him though.

  135. SaltyBiscuits says:
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    Giambi, Parra & Valverde for Delgado, Ollie Perez & Broxton?

    What side do you like?

    Ollie has been retarded since Warthen became pitching coach and changed some shit.

  136. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @SaltyBiscuits: Delgado, retarded Ollie and Broxton, by a lot.

  137. Nick says:
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    from yahoo…about Grabow

    Jul 27: Grabow allowed two homers in two innings of relief Sunday afternoon, taking the loss against San Diego.

    Recommendation: He’d given up just one run in eight prior July appearances (11.1 innings). The Pirates closer situation figures to evolve between Grabow, Tyler Yates and maybe even Denny Bautista. Manager John Russell has a stated preference of going with one pitcher as his closer but none of his pitchers really fit that profile, making none of them a good bet.

    I just picked him up, could that have been his first and only game to get a save?

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