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Looks like someone found time to transcribe Karabell’s refrigerator magnets into a blog post. ESPN’s top fantasy analyst, Eric Karabell, went through his early season favorites to be fantasy baseball’s Most Valuable Players and Cy Young. Now obviously they don’t give awards for this shizz, but Karabell’s playing in his sandbox, so grab a teat and follow along. (He didn’t mention real baseball where his AL MVP preseason choice was David Ortiz. Yes, he’s bonkers.) You have to be an ESPN Hindsighter™ to understand the extent of his nitwititude so I’ll quote the relevant passages here. For Fantasy MVP, he put Hanley Ramirez behind Nate McLouth. Zoinks! I’m Karabell and I’m chewing on a crayon! Now I’ve long expressed caution about Hanley, even going as far as ranking him 5th overall, but Nate McLouth does not have a chance in Yangzou, China in placing in front of Hanley in fantasy worth at the end of the year. Karabell said this about McClouth:

McLouth isn’t running very much, but I think he will, and he’s looking like a 25-homer guy, at least. Like Florida’s Ramirez, he’s no longer leading off, he’s hitting third. This is legit.

Then he puts Berkman at number one. I won’t argue necessarily with that (I could; I just won’t), but listen to this turd nugget:

When Berkman slows down a bit, literally and figuratively, I think McLouth will pass him on this list…

Wow. I can’t imagine he’s not throwing darts at a board. Literally and figuratively. A) McClouth’s hitting third on the Pirates and in that lineup spot he has zero home runs. B) McClouth was a career .248 hitter coming into 2008. C) He isn’t running much, but he will is probably true, but to rank him number two overall on a promise of more steals is asinine. D) I’m moving on before I shove my head into a blender.

Then Karabell lists his fantasy Cy Young candidates. Edinson Volquez comes in 2nd. Now I have Volquez on a lot of teams, so I don’t want to jinx him too bad and this was covered the other day, I’ll just say Volquez is pitching a wee bit over his head right now. The real turd nugget Karabell pinched off was by drinking the Cliff Lee Kool-Aid, who he placed number one:

I think he threatens for 20 wins and keeps his season ERA around 2.50. To me, that doesn’t make him a prime sell-high.

Lee will probably be over 2.50 by June 15th. Granted, Karabell wrote that three days before Lee’s outing where he gave up six runs in five innings. So does that excuse his stupidity? No, it illustrates it. Not to mention, Lee and Volquez placed in front of Webb, who Karabell just listed as the number one overall fantasy baseball player. Not just pitcher. I’m going to now paper cut my eyelids then submerge my face into a shark tank.

78 Responses

  1. primetime says:
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    I traded Volquez and mclouth for lance berkman and miguel cabera volquez aint this good

  2. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @primetime: That’s a great trade for you.

  3. monster says:
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    I just traded Volquez for Lidge, needing saves. My SPs are Santana, Dice-K, Cliff Lee, Doug Davis, Glen Perkins and Greinke. Am I an idiot?

  4. monster says:
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    I traded Volquez for Lidge needing Saves. My other SPs are Santana, Dice-K, Lee Davis, Perkins and Greinke. Am I an idiot?

  5. monster says:
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    I’m definitely an idiot for posting twice!

  6. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @monster: I think you could’ve probably did better than Lidge if you really need saves. (Not that I dislike Lidge.) Say Lyons and Soria, or any two closers that people don’t like. But it’s a solid trade that will probably end up favoring you in the end.

  7. Ross says:
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    Is carlos quentin for real? what can i expect from my glorious pickup?

  8. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Ross: He’s always been solid, minus last season when he had shoulder trouble. If he avoids injury, he’s Carlos Lee. Don’t sell him short in a trade.

  9. Zebo says:
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    are any of the schmohawks currently ranked in the yahoo top 20 for real? Uggla, Quentin, Kinsler, Ludwick, Mclouth? I have a foul taste in my mouth as I missed out picking up Mclouth and Quentin by one hour on separate occasions.

  10. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Zebo: Ludwick is not entirely for real.

  11. Ross says:
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    no one seems to be biting on my cliff lee offers. its frustrating. ive tried to package him with rios, and some other solid but not spectacular SPs. what can i expect to get back for him

  12. p0rk burn says:
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    @Zebo: Lucky you, its p0rk burn copy/paste day! I had this to say yesterday about Uggla as someone who has followed him closely since his rookie season (not too many other Marlins worth watching and those that are generally leave)

    “I’m the biggest Uggla fan here and I can tell you he won’t keep this up. Even in his best season he is going to end up with a .270 average (.280 if you really want wishful thinking). The Fish dropped him down to the five hole just prior to his hot streak but I don’t think the batting position is going to turn him into a 110 rbi 40 homer guy hitting over .300. The new spot should find him a few more rbis – I think 100 rbis is a very realistic expectation for him this season (he had 90 or so not too long ago) – but I’ll be surprised if he gets to 40 homers. If you want to sell him now is the time to do it, otherwise get ready to absorb a lot of Ks and be frustrated from time to time. When he isn’t on he’s either swinging at really bad pitches or hitting pop flies to shallow left-center.”

    Grey, this doesn’t mean I’m taking him in the 1st round. I usually wait until picks 90-100. I think I value him where he’s at versus the lowered valuations of others. Hyping him up a bit is different than blindly drafting. Now if someone were to beat me to him I’m sure a trade would be in the works . . . just not for 1st round value.

  13. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Ross: Good question. I think it’s a matter of preying on the weak. Savvy owners aren’t going to want him for what even Lee is worth, while dopier owners will give you too much. You can probably get anywhere from a struggling number one OF (Rios) to a struggling number third outfielder (Damon). It’s tough to say without you going out and trying the market.

    EDIT: Cuz.

  14. Zebo says:
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    I don’t have any of those schmohawks. But I do have Casey Mono Kotchman, and Co Jacks. I wonder if they will continue to struggle all season long, or if they will turn it around at some point (hopefully soon) as I am last in slugging, and 9th in OBP, and I was hoping these two schmohawks would help me in those (like Todd Helton impressions).

  15. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:
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    @p0rk burn: I don’t see anything wrong with taking Uggla in the top 25 next year, as long as you’re in a league with a MI position that can be complimented with someone hitting above .300 and 15/15. (such as yunel escobar).

    He’s the .270 hitting version of Adam Dunn, just with 2B eligibility.

  16. BSA says:
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    Kershaw – As I am trying to move Cueto and a position player to make room for Kershaw while upgrading an infield spot I am starting to see TOOO much press and thinking some schlub will pick him up before any trade is consumated. I am considering dropping one of my players and hoping they sit until I am done consumating a deal so I can snatch Kershaw before he becomes two enticing and a two start pitcher in week 9
    My bench currently has Votto, Wells, Figgins, Bruce, Bedard, and Shields. In utility spot I have Victorino. Active outfield is Quentin, Pence, and Vlad.
    Which player has the best chance of sitting in waivers and free agency until I do something? An idea of my recent pickups off FA and Waivers are:
    Harden, Votto, victorino, Bruce – Pence was a waiver pickup with the 5th pick out of ten.

  17. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Zebo: They seem all OBP and no Slugging. Odd you’re trailing in OBP too.

    @BSA: Figgins is headed to the DL, will that give you room?

    Otherwise, I’d drop Victorino. He’ll probably be there for another waiver claim.

  18. BSA says:
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    My DL’s take a spot so both Figgins and Wells are dead spots that I don’t dare release. When Wells gets back I should be able to put together some pretty good OF trade packages. I was thinking Votto until I looked back over his numbers beyond last week and my leaguemates crappy choices at 1st, no way he’ll stay on the market. I’ll probably risk Victorino. I did drop Damon for Victorino and Damon is still floating out there.
    It is great being first in position and points but that also makes my drops more enticing to others. One team, a damn objection junky for trades I propose, has plucked my drops pretty consistently over the past few weeks. His team looks like those Dodgers from last year – Red Sox Castaways of the West Coast.

    since you are in LA for all the Kershaw hype, is it worth it for me to go through all this to try and do as the locals do?

  19. jake the snake says:
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    Trade question:

    Give: Matt Kemp, Felix Hernandez
    Receive: Miguel Cabrera

    I’m first in a 12 team mixed league, but I’m doing terrible in steals and Kemp is my leading stealer.

    Thanks!

  20. BSA says:
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    Just to add to why I am jittery on Kershaw because I also missed out on Billingsley by hours to the same team mentioned in the previous post.

  21. primetime says:
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    What kind of return can I get for Hafner Victorino Votto I want closers.

  22. primetime says:
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    should i pick up masa kobayashi rafeal soriano for saves

    i got joe devine and santo casilla if oakland trades street

  23. cockyphoenix says:
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    @primetime: You can’t expect either of those guys to rack up many saves in the near future. Borowski and Smoltz (Boyer, Acosta?) have those jobs for now. There are temporary solutions in Torres and Franklin (maybe Pérez eventually), but if Masa and Rafael are what you’ve got on the wire, I’d look to trade. Be wary trading Hafner as his value’s probably rock-bottom right now.

  24. primetime says:
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    you think hafner might be good again

    he looks bad but indians paid him last year when he was bad so they know what theyre doing i hope he turns it around

  25. cockyphoenix says:
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    @primetime: I’m definitely not certain, but I’d be more surprised by him sucking the rest of the year than I would by him getting it back together.

  26. primetime says:
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    y the hell the indians pay him at end of last year dammmit!!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. BSA says:
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    second question for the afternoon – where does Willis rate as he gets back to the bigs in motown?

  28. Chase says:
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    @IowaCubs: Well besides the fact that Uggla isnt a 40 home run 100 rbi player he’s kind of like Dunn…Adam even steals more.

    Uggla’s line drive percentage is 14.9 % this season and his BABIP is .361—this means that he is getting extremely lucky, and can’t keep it up. His line drive rate is actually down from his rookie (16.8) and sophomore (15.6) years and his BABIP last year was .279….there’s no way he keeps this up. Career .276 Minor League AVG…
    In conclusion

    35 homers? Perhaps.
    .300 AVG? No way.

  29. Zebo says:
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    If I send Mono Kotchman and Ervin Santana for Carlos Quentin, is that too much to pay for Carlos?

  30. Chase says:
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    @Zebo: Maybe not enough…

  31. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Zebo: I agree with Chase. I wouldn’t want Kotchman and I don’t think highly of Ervin. I think Ervin might be better off on your team because he’s not that highly regarded because of his past seasons struggles. Try the trade and see if it works, and if it does, it’s in your favor.

  32. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Willis’s in the bigs. He’s pitching relief and has no value.

  33. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: re: Kershaw, they’re going to limit his innings, so he might be lucky to average 6 IP/1.20/3.00/6Ks per start

  34. BSA says:
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    Yes I know he is in the bigs but just coming off DL (that is what I meant) – I hadn’t heard they were intending on keeping him in the pen.

  35. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @jake the snake: Well, that trade is a good in general, but he’s not going to get you any steals. Can you trade those two for Reyes? Or will that leave you in trouble in home runs? Maybe that trade’s not best for you if you need steals?

  36. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Well, he’s pitching middle relief right now with the Tigers’s staff being a mess so that should give you an idea of what they think of him. Maybe in August/September he might have matchup potential, that’s about it.

  37. p0rk burn says:
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    @Chase, IowaCubs: Chase you’ve succintly restated my position on the man but this time with the numbers. As much as I like the guy I wouldn’t put money on either 40 homeruns or an average of .300 or better. If someone is willing to pick him in the top 25 they can have him and I definitely wouldn’t trade top 25 talent to get him. Fortunately for me most people undervalue him a great deal because of his average and k-rate. If he keeps this up over the course of the season I’d have to reevaluate his draft position, but based on historic numbers I think a pick earlier than 80 is a reach.

  38. cruisinkc says:
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    Think Kershaw will stay up long? A couple different sources say that he will probably make two more starts and then be sent down.

  39. p0rk burn says:
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    @Chase, IowaCubs: Chase you’ve succinctly restated my position on the man but this time with the numbers. As much as I like the guy I wouldn’t put money on either 40 homeruns or an average of .300 or better. If someone is willing to pick him in the top 25 they can have him and I definitely wouldn’t trade top 25 talent to get him. Fortunately for me most people undervalue him a great deal because of his average and k-rate. If he keeps up his current pace over the course of the season I’d have to reevaluate his draft position, but based on historic numbers I think a pick earlier than 80 is a reach.

  40. p0rk burn says:
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    @p0rk burn: posting twice makes baby jesus cry.

  41. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @cruisinkc: I think he might go the Joba/Jobacum route and pitch in the middle innings. There’s too many starters on the Dodgers to push Kershaw too hard. And, as you say, he might even get sent down.

  42. cruisinkc says:
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    @Grey: Yeah I hope he stays up, but then it may be best if he doesn’t. Seems like the Dodgers are rushing him a bit.

  43. Chase says:
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    How is Hamels? Healthy?

  44. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Chase: Be interesting to see what he does in his next start. No word on injury, but a lot of times these schmohawks keep injuries a secret.

  45. b.j. says:
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    thinking about using my #7 waiver on Kershaw dumping Snell on my 13 team 5×5 roto league. My other SP are CC, DiceK, Big Unit, Mcgowan, Duchy, Maine and Greinke. Other droppable players are Thome and Del the Funky Homosapien. Do I need Kershaw or do I stand pat?

  46. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @b.j.: You should use him as trade bait. He’s definitely more tradable than Snell. I wouldn’t hold him long before I traded him though.

  47. BSA says:
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    Anyone watching Bruce’s night – pretty good first night. Patterson pinch hit fly out. How long before he goes? Cueto may pull one out of his coolie, hope he stuck around to thank his offense.

  48. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Grey: Snell’s having another Snelltdown tonight. Started well, but last I looked, he was at 7 BBs (!) and counting. Luckily, I have him benched, but seriously? What’s up here? Something snells rotten.

    I expect you to address this at great length in the round-up tonight.

    Edited to add: Damaso Marte is now in the process of allowing every inherited Snell-runner to score, as well as some people pulled from the stands. So it looks like another Snellacking. Oy.

    Luckily, Bruce is almighty tonight. BRUUUUUUUUUUCE!

  49. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Grey: With Westbrook coming off the DL, is it worth dropping Snell to make room? Is that what it’s come to?

    My SPs are Hamels, Cain, Laffey, Snell, D. Cabrera. (I know, I know — I lost both Gallardo and Smoltz!) I was going to drop Laffey for Westbrook but he’s the only live arm on this staff at the moment.

  50. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    Snell’s final line: 5.0IP 6H 7R 7ER 7BB 6K

    Three 7s! Isn’t that a jackpot or something? Joker… joker… joker!

  51. Drop Snell for Kershaw?

  52. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Freak: Definitely. As I told someone a few comments above, “(If nothing else) You should use him as trade bait. He’s definitely more tradable than Snell. I wouldn’t hold him long before I traded him though.”

  53. You may have said this earlier, but I don’t care, I’m lazy. What kind of numbers are we looking at for Clawshaw?

  54. BSA says:
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    @Grey – I am doing pretty well with that thought process. Volquez brought me Vlad, I am hoping Cueto attracts someone looking for good k numbers. I approached a team in 8th place with a Cueto/Morneau for Howard. Then again I am not afraid to hold onto Cueto either. It’ll be interesting to watch Kershaw.

  55. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Freak: What I said before/8 to 10 Ws/4.00/1.20/100/You’re welcome.

    Now that I look at those numbers, I think I might be high on Wins and Ks. Probably won’t be around to rake up those numbers. Maybe 6 Wins/60 Ks? He’s going to be on a very tight pitch count.

  56. Man, if only Dusty was managering the Dodgers.

  57. Get Figgy With It says:
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    Grey….

    would you trade Jay Bruce, and another hitter for Cole Hamels (my only other SP are Colon, Carmona, Maine, Billingsley, Liriano).

    And what hitters would you not be willing to give up as the 2nd player (paired with Bruce) in the deal out of: Mauer, Adrian Gonzalez, Reyes, BJ Upton, Hart, Francoeur, Carlos Lee, Teixeira, Longoria, Kouzmanoff

    Also, which hitters would you be most willing to give up?

  58. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Freak: Then Billingsley would be working on his 7th complete game.

    @Get Figgy With It: Mauer, Longoria, Kouz, Gonzalez then Frenchy. In that order.

  59. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Get Figgy With It: I would think any of Reyes, Upton, Lee, or Tex would net you Hamels straight up, sans Bruce; in fact, you should look for Hamels plus something in any of those deals. (I’m a Hamels owner.) Adrian Gonzalez (I own) is looking like a sell-high candidate (especially if you also have Tex) — you could package Gonzo and Bruce for Hamels. That should get it done, though Bruce (I own) looks awfully tasty tonight….

    There are also some Hamels injury concerns, giving his craptastic last outing.

    @Grey: Any updated thoughts on Nick Blackburn? He’s shutting out the Royals tonight, inching his ERA closer to 3.00…

    In a related story: Should shutouts against the Royals actually count as official shut-outs?

  60. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Grey: I put out an SOS to the league for a live-armed SP, and got this back:

    Someone offered me Joba Chamberlain for Joakim Soria.

    I have Soria, Rauch, AcostaSmoltz, and Torres in my bullpen right now. Soria’s the best of the bunch, obviously.

    Chamberlain is headed towards starting, yes?

  61. No one will listen to me whine about Edmonds OPS+ing 29.

    WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

    Ugh.

  62. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: The same dude also has Lackey, Sabathia, Halladay and Hudson. Should I target one of those over Joba? Could Soria net, say, Lackey instead?

    Yes, that’s right — I linked back to my own comment. The circle is now complete.

  63. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Soria can net Lackey if you’re trading with George Brett. Soria for Hudson is where I’d go. Joba’s going to start, but I’d want more/different.

  64. p0rk burn says:
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    The guy I was trying to get a SP from in exchange for George Posada rejected both Kazmir and Hudson. Apparently he is only willing to deal Stephen Drew. Is it worth the hassle of trading Posada for Drew who would replace Crosby? Bengie is doing a good enough job behind the dish (including a bomb tonight).

  65. Chase says:
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    Do you like giving G Atkins for C Hamels

  66. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Chase: Not especially. I’d hold tight on going after Hamels. His last start might have been a sign of an injury.

  67. Chase says:
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    Is it fair to get mad when Lincey gives up one run

  68. Zebo says:
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    how much do we read into Jay Bruce’s hot night in Great American Ball Park? It’s as great a performance as any. The dude who picked him up in my league (who knows, he could be one of those silent lurchers on this great site) is starting to offer a load of crazy trade scenarios. Since I have now (due to my indecisiveness) missed out on Mclouth, Quentin, Bruce, do I pick up Chase Headley in a mixed 11 team roto league? I am putting a claim for Kershaw with my #3 tonight, wish me luck.

  69. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Zebo: Yes, just pick Headley up now. If he’s not up by next week, then reevaluate.

    Good luck on Kershaw.

  70. Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    @Grey: Zimmerman for Joba?

    I am having trouble evaluating Joba’s value; BP loves him, his K/9 is phenomenal and he could win a lot as a starter for the Yankees. Then again, he hasn’t actually, you know, started a game yet.

    Trading Zim would leave me with Longoria at 3B.

  71. RT says:
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    What do you guys make of Granderson? My OF is Hamilton, McLouth, Bruce, Granderson (Headley in the wings)…. I drafted him thinking he would be a good source of HR/R/SB — so kinda like last year.

    He’s almost been relegated to a platoon role.

  72. scott says:
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    @ Grey — looking to trade high on Josh Hamilton — pun very much intended. How about Hamilton and Kotchman for Howard and Beckett?

  73. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I hate Zimmerman, so yeah that works for me. We here at Razzball, meaning Rudy and I, think Joba will be a lot like Lincecum circa 07.

    @RT: I’ve hated Granderson since November of last year. I’d move him if I were you.

    @scott: That’s a great trade. Only b/c Kotchman is by far the weakest element there.

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