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The Braves opened up their new park in style last night and Ender Inciarte began the charge going 2-for-4 with his third home run and two RBI. It’s a new year and new park and with that comes and new line of over-the-top ballpark food. Come for the cannolis, craft beer and 5 lb pork chop sandwich, stay for the Braves win. Speaking of winners, this was Ender’s Game and we were all just alien Buggers living in this crazy war-torn universe, preparing for the next Invasion against the Fleet. Just ignore that the book/movie is subliminally telling you to hate the gays and eat at Chic-fil-a. Inciarte must be a “Third.” Ender has the privilege of being the first player in SunTrust park history to collect a hit, score a run, and hit a home run. That’s right, folks, Inciarte is officially the greatest hitter in SunTrust Park history. In addition, he’s now homered in back-to-back games after hitting two bombs on Wednesday and Ender has been known to get hot quick. In 131 games last year, Ender hit .291 with 3 homers and 16 stolen bases. He’s already matched his 2016 homer total! That’s gotta be a good sign, right!? He’s available in about 40% of ESPN leagues, and if he’s still out there I’d grab him while the Braves are still undefeated at home. This might not last long. Come on Atlanta, let’s give him the chop!

Here what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Aaron Nola – 5.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, 6 K. Nola was a real treat to own in the early going last season but completely fell apart in the second half. 2.93 ERA in April-May, 8.36 ERA in June-July. The difference this year is you had to draft him to get him for his April-May, and now you’ll just have to remember to trade him before you get his June-July.

Stephen Strasburg – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Just because I would never draft you, doesn’t mean I don’t want to own you. Whose fastball would you rather take to your chest? No pads. Max or Strasburg? Watching Stephen pitch, I think I’m leaning slightly towards Max, but the whole scenario seems unnecessary.

Salvador Perez – 1-for-3, HR (5), 2 RBI. When your catcher leads the league is home runs your fantasy team is having a good time.

Mike Moustakas – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBI, HR (4). Oh hey, Moose. Remember when you were the bane of my existence? Me neither! You the man now, doggo!

Danny Duffy – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 6 K, W. Duffy was the first pitcher I drafted in a few leagues and I got some heat for it. They told me, “Bro!? what are you doing, bro? You got no pitching. Duffy, bro? You gots to be kidding me.” And I was all like, “Bro! You gotta trust me, bro. Trust me. We can’t be bros if you don’t trust me.” Danny Boy is rocking a 1.80 ERA and 1.05 WHIP so far, and its safe to say he’s my bro.

Matt Davidson – 2-for-4, HR (3). Hitting .364 with five extra base hits and nine RBI. I thought about the possibility of thinking about maybe considering the prospect of deciding whether or not I should pick him up. But then the LSD kind of wore off so I decided to go swimming.

Dee Gordon – 3-for-5, run, RBI, SB (3). FLASH. AAA-AHHHHHH! Savior of the universe! (Well, Florida, at least. But that’s a great place to start).

Lucas Duda – 2-for-3, HR (4).  Dudabides! Happy Passover! Another year and The Duda returns shomer shabbos with Friday home runs so I can quote the movie we all quote way too much. Grey told you to BUY and you should abide by that advice or shut the h*ck up, Donny.

Noah Syndergaard – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 hits, ER, 4 K. Left this game with a “pulled back fingernail,” which I bet looks a lot grosser than it sounds. I certainly wish I had an ace who pitched outings like this when he was injured. “What about Duffy, bro?” “Bro! stay outta my blog, I’m working, bro!” By the power of Asgaard, Thor will see to it that his new movie trailer is amazing by adding more scenes of the superhero we should be really making another Marvel movie about. The Hulk.

Michael Conforto – 1-for-3, RBI. Conforto is so trending right now. Like cold brew and coconut milk trending. Grey told you to BUY, and he may be stuck in a platoon but that shouldn’t deter fans of the hipster’s favorite player–hipsters. In fact, that only makes him cooler because when he does finally get more playing time that means they liked him before he was cool. And there’s nothing cooler than that!

Jonathan Villar – 1-for-3, run, RBI, 3 SB (4). Ryan Braun also stole 2 bases. Sweet sassy molassy! Yeesh Reds pitching, pick-off-a-batter-much or nah? When one game drastically shifts the dynamic of your roto league. #aprilfantasyproblems

Daniel Norris – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 5 K, W. Norris has a 2.19 ERA and 1.30 WHIP in his two starts but the 7/7 K/BB rate don’t impress me much, Shania. I could see using him for his match up in Tampa next Thursday though.

Miguel Cabrera – 2-for-3, 3-run HR (2). Miggy spent the offseason training with B. Rabbit and Mekhi Phifer in the ‘Roit and is ready to take on Tha Free World and bring the fire. 

Brad Miller – 3-for-4, 3 runs, HR (1). How is it that this jabroni ended up being 80% owned. Is it the position eligibility? Is it the 30 homers in 2016? Or did you think you were drafting the former Sacramento Kings big man? It was the homers wasn’t it.

Logan Morrison – 2-for-5, with a grand slam (3) as the Rays scored 10 runs. You better believe he live tweeted it, too! Next time add it to the snap story already, LoMo. Don’t you even social media!?

Chris Archer – 5.2 IP, 6 hits, ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 2nd win. Archer has a 2.21 ERA and 18/6 K/BB and grabbed his second win last night. After locking in Archer as my Cy Young pick last season he proceeded to lose no less than 20 games, so this year I will spare him any praise and hopefully he’ll just do his thing.

Rick Porcello –  4.1 IP, 8 hits, 8 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 4 HR. Woof. Not a fully good show for the defending Cy Young. Porcello sort of came out of nowhere as an ace last year but I’m afraid for fantasy purposes I just don’t see him in the ace territory. I’m not saying Porcello won’t be solid, I’m saying if you can sell him at an ace price I would explore options. Mathematical!

Mookie Betts – 4-for-5, run, RBI. Oh, welcome back, old friend. How I have missed you bbe. Feeling better? You are hydrating right? How are your BMs? I want to hear all about it. I tried to bring you some soup and gatorade but I was denied entry by your security team! To be fair, I probably shouldn’t have been crawling into that window.

Xander Bogaerts – 3-for-4, RBI. AWESOME-X! I listed Bogey as my “infatuation” in our Razzball picks, but I feel infatuation is a bit strong its more of an obsession or a manic fixation of passion. I said last year, “…if I can’t win a fantasy championship with Xander as my shortstop I don’t want to win at all.” Extreme, perhaps, but I want to let you all know that me and X achieved this goal last fall, and we have started planning the next phase in our life together. 

Gerrit Cole – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, BB, 5 K, W. I think G. Cole is having Wet Dreamz about this upcoming season. That’s a rap reference people, this is a family-friendly blog…that references a lot of not-so-family-friendly rap. Hmm.

Clayton Kershaw – 8.1 IP, 4 hits, ER, BB, 8 K, W. Yo, bro he is good at throwing baseballs, no, bro? Bro! I told you I’m happy with my tier-3 ace! Now come at me or bro out of it!

Zack Greinke – 5.0 IP, 10 hits, 5 ER, 3 BB, 4 K. When you’re all excited about coming home Easter Sunday but then you get there and you can’t remember why you were looking forward to it in the first place.

Andrew Toles – 2-for-5, 2 runs, HR (3), 2 RBI. The Bell Toles for Andrew, apparently, who led off for the Dodgers last night. Toles has 3 homers in the past week and even though he’s stuck in a platoon he responding positively. I could see adding that?

Jarrod Dyson – 2-for-3, SB (3). SAGNOF. His second steal in as many games. With Segura set to return, this could hurt Dyson’s chances of hitting in the top of the order more. Still, he should remain a great source of cheap speed, which is how some of the best worst nights of my life started.

Carlos Gomez – 2-for-4. I rarely tell you to outright buy players because trading is for people with social skills and I don’t want to be blamed for ruining your team, but if you can somehow net CarGo Lite before he goes off I think you would like this result.

Chris Davis – 2-for-3, 2 runs, HR (3). THE POWER OF CHRIS COMPELS ME! THE POWER OF CHRIS COMPELS ME!

Wade Miley – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 8 K, W. Miley can’t stop. Miley won’t stop. Dude is a wrecking ball. Are these references still relevent? What if I told you he’s “woke.” Wade has 2.45 ERA, 1.18 WHIP in his first two starts and gets Cincinnati next week. I would consider owning as long as he stay woke.

Jon Gray – Headed to the DL. Gray has a fracture in his foot and is set to miss at least a month. I would never say I told you so, because I don’t think of this post as giving advice, more as rambling or ranting. But I guess that’s what you get for drafting a Coors ace. Actually this is probably one of the more positive scenarios.

Austin Romine  – 2-f0r-4, HR (1). Back-to-back multi-hit games sure, but Gary Sanchez would have had back-to-back multi-homer games. Boo Austin for not being Gary! Boooo!

Mitch Haniger – 2-for-4, RBI. Grey told you to BUY! Click the link to read all about him! That’s how the internet works–but that’s not how the force works! That’s my Han Solo impression. Seattle fans are almost as excited about Haniger as I am about The Last Jedi trailer. “Hey, nice segue, writer guy!” Thanks! I just want to talk Star Warses. Also, clicks. Did you see those AT-ATs? OP Rey be OP? Whiny Kylo be whiny? And why Captain Phasma do dat? She mad? Is this the end of JEDI? I have so many questions!

Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!

   
  1. Grey

    Grey says:
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    The Last Jedi trailer begins with “Just Breathe” being said like it’s someone calming me down while I’m getting my nipple pierced…

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Grey: Don’t you even star warses!?

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        The Last Jedi is the Star Worst!

        • Dan Pants

          Dan Pants says:
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          @Grey: But Luke Skywalker!? I can see you’re upset over the final line. I was too at first. But I don’t see it as the end of the jedi but rather a new beginning without the jedi/sith extremes. A new republic where there is more than one wookiee in the galaxy and jar jar is dead in every timeline!

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            I bet this ain’t the last *last* jedi tho

            • ferris says:
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              @Grey: Last Dragon>>>>>Last Jedi

            • Dan Pants

              Dan Pants says:
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              @Grey: Is jedi plural or singular in this instance? I dunno!

  2. John says:
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    As always, another great Razzball post. Quick question. Would you snag Ender if your outfield was Harper, Sami, Cain and Trumbo? If so would who would you dump Trumbo or hold. I also have Schwarber but use as a catcher.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @John: hold on both

  3. John says:
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    Stupid iPhone. That’s Sano, not Sami.

  4. Mrniceguy says:
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    Hey mr Dan pants thanks for the write up!

    would you pick up Car go lite mr gomez, Bird, Conforto or stash Moncada for a final bench bat in 5×5 h2h weekly?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Mrniceguy: Pick up gomez

  5. luvpho says:
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    Souza Jr or Cargo Lite?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @luvpho: CarGo

  6. JohnnyBeGood says:
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    Hey Guys!

    Who u like best for ROS in 6×6 H2H : Bird, Thames or Duda?

    • LenFuego says:
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      @JohnnyBeGood: Is this a trick question? Thames. QED.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @JohnnyBeGood: I’ll take duda

      • JohnnyBeGood says:
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        @Dan Pants: yea not a slam dunk choice. I have to cut bait on Bird (17th rd keeper) I think…

  7. Jason E. says:
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    16 team, 5 player keeper lg. I know Donaldson was in the Friday sell column, but I was offered Donaldson for my Bregman and a 2018 5th. Hold, or take it and hope Donaldson comes off the DL strong?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jason E.: In keepers, i’d want bregman

      • Jason E. says:
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        @Dan Pants: Thanks for the reply!

  8. William says:
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    Quintana… Lol

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @William: classic jose

      • William says:
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        @Dan Pants: he was supposed to be that guy for me who keeps era/whip respectable…

  9. Wacha Wacha says:
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    Hey Dan

    Which 3 would you most want to own in a 10 team h2h with obp?

    Choo, m Reynolds, haniger, judge, Owings, d Travis, duda,R Zimmerman

    Also Vinny v or e Santana ros?

    Thanks!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Wacha Wacha: haniger, judge, duda and velasquez

  10. Jim says:
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    I have Wacha, Severino & Garveman. Do I drop one or 2 of them to pick up Shoemaker &/or Estrada?
    Thank you for the write up & any help!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jim: i’d hold

  11. eric says:
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    Rank order: Duda, Franco, Castellanos

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @eric: castellanos, duda and franco

  12. fknboz says:
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    How would you rank the following in an OBP league:

    Inciarte
    Healy
    Renfroe
    Souza
    Margot
    Bautista
    Kepler

    My team is pretty balanced as far as needs, so best all-around’ll do.

    Thanks!!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @fknboz: Bautista, Healy, Souza, Margot, Renfroe, Inciarte, Kepler

  13. Matt says:
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    Severino is available and the one pitcher I could drop is Joe Ross. Who do you prefer?

    Also, should I drop Buxton for Thames , Kepler or Jay Bruce? Thames is on fire at the moment.

    Finally, what are your thoughts about Devenski? Checking his last season numbers and what he has done today, he seems an interesting add.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Matt: Go with Thames. Devenksi for Ks but not much else.

  14. B the esq. says:
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    Odubel, Eaton, J Up, Thames, pence, judge.

    Pick 2 to hold down the fort until Desmond and JD Martinez are back or beyond….

    Thanks

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @B the esq.: Upton and Thames

  15. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Dan. Joe Ross or Robbie Ray in a head to head points league? Thanks!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jerry: I like both, ray seems safer

  16. curse says:
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    ray

  17. Bubba says:
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    Keeper, 5×5, category wins, 12 team…

    Hang in there with Ryon Healy at my CI slot…yes or no? Gettin’ a bit concerned even though it’s very early.

  18. Bye Felica says:
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    Thames, Haringer, Ozuna on waivers

    Over Pujlos, Polanco, or Bentatendi

    None right?

    It’s a very shallow league. Happy Easter

  19. Alex says:
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    I’m sitting dead last in my 10 team ROTO league. Many of my guys are off to a slow start, and the first two pitchers I drafted are on DL, so I’m not too worried.

    Do you guys see any weaknesses to address or moves I should make? I’m pondering…

    1. Do I trade an outfielder (thinking Duvall) for an SP? I really wish I could get Paxton.
    2. Cut bait on Bird? I was hoping he’d show up so I can trade Hosmer.
    3. Should I drop Bird for C. Hernandez, Duda, or M. Moreland, Kepler? I feel like either pick up is a placeholder for when Segura returns.
    4. In general, do you guys think my SP will hold up? I’m wondering if I can use a 1 or 2 with Hill’s blister situation and Price’s injured start.

    C – Wieters
    1B – Hosmer
    2B – Segura (DL)
    3B – Rendon
    2B / SS- Story
    1B / 3B – C. Santana
    OF Trout, Cruz, Braun, Duvall,
    UTIL – Trout
    UTIL – Piscotty
    Bench – Peraza (usually in the lineup, ready for him to be 2B eligible)
    Bench – Bird

    SP, Maeda, McCullers, Hill, Nova, Bundy, Cotton, Manaea, Ross,
    RP Giles, Treinen, Bush, Benoit

    DL Price
    DL Segura

    Thanks in advance for taking a look.

    • Alex says:
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      @Alex:

      Even Conforto is available.

      • Dan Pants

        Dan Pants says:
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        @Alex: Team is solid, might try to add moreland if i could?

  20. jason bourne says:
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    Watching Breaking Bad The Movie on youtube. Who would be the first three SP you would try to draft?

    Happy Easter!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @jason bourne: The first three SPs I drafted in most leagues were Darvish, Duffy and McCullers

  21. Bubba says:
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    12 team, keeper, 5×5, category wins…

    Should I hang in there with Ryon Healy at my CI? It’s early but it’s a worry.

    Thanks

  22. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Dan. Moreland or Hosmer in a head to head points league? Happy Easter!

  23. Jerry says:
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    Also wanted to ask about Robbie Ray or Matt Moore going forward? Thanks again?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jerry: Hosmer and Ray

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