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So there I was, huddled with my family in the basement. Waiting for the tornado. I kept thinking, “I’m from Massachusetts why am I in the basement at 9 o’clock at night, the Sunday before Labor Day waiting out a tornado warning?” (Entitled Northerner Alert!!) To get my mind off of what was potentially headed my way, I went and checked my DraftKings roster. GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!!12TH! My mood went from somber to ecstatic almost immediately. That’s the highest I’ve ever finished in a Moonshot before. Sure I’ve had a dozen or so top 100 finishes and a couple of top 50’s but top 12? Hell nah! Now I really hoped to make it out of this basement in one piece. I’m cashing like crazy tonight baby. Get Money indeed!

Not to worry Razzaholics, the storm passed, the Tornado was canceled (I didn’t know that they canceled these things) and the Lifshitz clan is safe and sound. Great! more time to focus on turning these winnings into a vacation to San Diego or Hawaii or some place warm for the winter. Welp, I think I just locked up the award for the most dramatic opening of a post on Razzball. As well as the award for the Father who’s priorities are the least in order. In my work for Football later this week, I’ll be gunning for the most times the word selfie has been used in a post, and the least informative content. What can I say I aim high. You know who is aiming high these days? (Segue FTW!) Corey Kluber! Today he’s got the difficult task of trying to tame the Tigers. This is no feat for mere mortals, in fact Mr. Kluber himself has fallen a victim to the Jaws of the Tigers before. Primarily saber tooth sluggers Miguel Cabrera (15/28, 3 hr’s, 7 RBI, 6 K’s score one for Corey!) and Victor Martinez (8/21, 2 hr’s, 3 RBI, 2 K’s). I’m not under any delusions that tell me Kluber is going to get rocked, but as I said in Two Start-A-Palooza on Saturday I could see a 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 K kind of game. Not bad but also not worth $11,800. Just so we’re clear I love Kluber I’m just giving him the Labor Day fade. (UPDATE: Now that I know that Miggy will be out of the lineup for the foreseeable future I’m upgrading Kluber to a good start in all formats) The same goes for David Price and his $12,200 price tag. There are too many great pitching options today to bother with aces facing good offenses.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Tyson Ross, SP: $10,200 – I love Ross. In fact let me go a step further: I live in between Ross Petco starts. The man’s home ERA is 1.92. That’s 1.92! That’s Re-Donk-a-Donk! Remarkable! Pedro Martinez in 1999 terrific. There aren’t enough adjectives in the English language to capture my level of excitement. The best part is the beat up shell of an offense we call the D-Backs is coming to town. The D-Backs have a wOBA of .277 and a wRC+ of 69 over the last 30 days. This is the case of an unsuspecting object crossing the path of a freight train. Ross has given up 15 ER’s in 73.1 innings since July 1st. That’s an ERA of 1.84 and he’s at home. Where he’s already dominant. I could go on and on about Ross all day but I’ll leave it like this…Play him.

Julio Teheran, SP: $8,900 – This price isn’t too shabby for a consistent performer of Teheran’s ilk facing an offense like Philadelphia’s. To say the Phillies are bad is an insult to the word bad. The Phillies have the fourth worst wOBA (.298) in the league this year and the third lowest wRC+ (87). They don’t strike out a ton but a fair amount and Tehran has the ability to make the most of the soft matchup. He’s fresh off back to back 20+ point starts on DK, let’s make it the Dangerous Three in a row.

Drew Smyly, SP: $8,400 – I’m not going make this too long and painful for my fellow Red Sox brethren but the hometown team sucks. They’re in the bottom third of just about every statistical category. Though David Ortiz has been a monster and we’ve gained some hope with new edition Yoenis Cespedes and rookie Mookie Betts, it’s not enough to avoid rolling out a good starter against them. In fact it’s the opposite. I’m more than happy to make some money betting on my own team’s deficiencies. Enter Drew Smyly. The Man, The Myth, The Emoticon. He’s been all that and a dime sack since hitting the streets of Tampa like Santo Trafficante on a bender. Dude’s 2nd half ERA is 2.18. That’s bananas but it gets even better. In 36 August innings, his ERA was 1.50 with K/9 of 7.25 and BB/9 of 1.75. He also gets to pitch at home in the dome in the city of St.Pete.

Jimmy Nelson, SP: $7,500 – This is my far out GPP play of the day but the young Jimmy Nelson All-American Boy (trademark 1957) draws the always unpredictable all or nothing Chicago Cubs. This team is Adam Dunn in team form. Don’t get me wrong, the season numbers for the Cubs don’t do this lineup justice. You of course need to consider the significant upgrade it got recently with the addition of Jorge Soler and Javier Baez. There is one thing that hasn’t changed, though: they strikeout a lot. If you can get a solid 6 innings out of Nelson you can expect somewhere 7-8 K’s.

Brandon Moss, 1B/OF: $4,000 – This one is not for the faint of heart. There haven’t been many players worse than Moss since July 1st hit. It’s been so bad that I’m sure it’s the primary reason they acquired Adam Dunn yesterday. Now is the time for Moss to break out of his slump in a big way. Always one to root for the underdog, I’m giving Moss my DONG OF THE DAY as he faces dear friend and right handed jammoke Chris Young. B-Moss has a couple of jacks in nine at bats against the Mariners starter. He’s nice contrarian play for the GPP heroes out there.

Robinson Cano, 2B: $4,900 – Cano has a .942 career OPS against Jason Hammel and is always tough on a righty. He’s hit 5 of his measly 12 homers off right handed pitching at home to go along with a .317 average. I think this all sets up nicely for a fairly safe play today in head to heads and League Play. Go ahead and splash some cash on Robbie. I wonder if thats what former english boy bander Robbie Wiliams says to his high priced male prostitute clients?

Mookie Betts, SS/OF: $3,400 – Moooooookie has been showing us what all the hype was about since his return to the majors a few weeks ago. The last week in particular has been outstanding. Mookie has hit .320/.422/4/2/6/2 and had games of 14,15,21, and 23 on DraftKings. He’s still cheap at $3,400 and has hit lefties at .321 clip. I know, I know, I said that I liked Drew Smyly, and I still do. I just will be using Betts in the lineups he’s not in. Then again he could give up two hits, one homer and two earned runs to Mookie and still have a good game, Right? If that happens, I’m playing the lottery!

Nick Markakis, OF: $4,100 – The man I affectionately call the Greek God Of Mediocrity, is anything but when it comes to facing Phil Hughes. He’s 16/50 with two dongs and seven steaks off the Twins righty. Another reason I like Nick The Greek is the game is being played at Camden Yards which is beneficial to Markakis’ power; his career ISO, SLG, and OPS are all better there.

Hunter Pence, OF: $5,100 – Pence is 6/14 with a dong off Colorado starter Franklin Morales, and the game is being played at Coors Field. Okay, tell me more…Well, Pence has been on a bit of a tear of late slashing .390/.430/.465/.895 wiht 8 runs and 8 RBI’s over the last week. Hold up! Was that 8 runs and….8 RBI’s. Maybe Grey is right about his statistical OCD.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Lots of rain on the forecast today, but only the Rangers at the Royals and the Brewers at the Cubs have chances of rain over 50%. The winds are blowing out to center at 17 mph at Wrigley. If you avoided my boy Jimmy and stacked hitters from either team I wouldn’t think you were a dope.

Doing Lines In Vegas

San Fran @ Colorado – 9.5 – Under

Min @ B-More – 8 – Over

Wash @ LA Dodgers – 7 – Over

Boston @ Tampa Bay – 7.5 – Over

As always, be sure to check the lineups, give a look at the weather and I toast your team with slightly chilled Manischewitz

Follow me on Twitter @ralphlifshitzbb or challenge me on DraftKings @ Puigroast

  1. Baezaworldseries says:
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    What happened to the 10k and 12k $2 moonshots on DK? I haven’t seen any the last two times I’ve been on.

  2. Baezaworldseries says:
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    Never mind. I must have just been early. They are just popping up.

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Baezaworldseries: Yeah it sort of depends on the day. They seem to have different amounts everyday.

  3. J-FOH says:
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    I like the slipping in of tracks. I feel partly responsible for the style, but who knows, i’m an egomaniac.

    Need a team for the RCL twitter league. It would be a good way to boost followers. There are some well followed and respected twitter peeps in there.

    https://yho.com/nfl?l=888536&k=27458c4fee6363b2

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @J-FOH: I’m in, the draft is an hour after my longtime friends and family league draft ends.

      Yeah you’re definitely the inspiration. I wanted to get the Get Money song in after yesterday’s stroke of good fortune. (In more ways than one!) I threw the Dangerous Three link in as a direct shout out to you, Grey, and Nick the Dick.

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