So I’ve been leading with pitchers all the time. That shizz is seriously gonna get boring fast. And believe me, I’ve been married for basically 10 years so I know boring. I ain’t playin’ DraftKings to feel like all I got is top or bottom! TMI? Yeah, TMI…but I’m gonna do things a little differently because I feel like it. And because Justin Morneau is feeling it, whatever that ‘it’ is when he can’t seem to miss the ball. Morneau just finished a road trip to San Diego, aka Petco Park, aka the vast desert of homerunlessness and came away with a couple of doubles and a HR. Before that, he hit a HR in San Fran in the previous series. And now? Morneau gets to play at home against a pitcher named Jonathan Pettibone, or ‘Mr. Bonepetter’ as he’s known on his adult film sets. To put it mildly, Jonathan is ‘WHOOOEEEFFF’. That’s me spelling out the sound of throwing up. Don’t look at me strange, we all throw up differently. The Stream-O-Nator spells throwup ‘-9’. That’s his dollar value today. No this isn’t golf, negative numbers aren’t good around here. Needless to say, both I and the Hitter-Tron agree that Morneau is set up for a fine day in Denver and given his price is only $4,400 on the good ‘ole DK, it would be smart to get a least a small piece of the Rocky Mountain High that’s sure to come. Not that kind of high. Unless you’re actually in Colorado. Then it’s totally cool and legal. Wait, aren’t we still teaching D.A.R.E. in school? You so crazy, .gov. Speaking of cool and legal, before we move onto the picks for the day, I wanted to remind you of the Sweet Spot like my wife does like all the time…TMI again? Oops…anyways, sign up to DraftKings via our promo and get a free ticket. You win with said free ticket, you get a shot at working your way into said Sweet Spot for free and get to take a picture with me as I take your oversized check and run away with it down the hill like Shooter McGavin does with Happy’s jacket. But enough about my impending thievery, let’s do this. Here are the Razzball picks for the 4/18/2014 slate over on DraftKings…
Nathan Eovaldi, SP: $9,000 – So his recent line of 6 IP and 4 ER with 5 K for 12.1 DK points wasn’t sexy. I get that. But here’s what I also get. A K:BB ratio of 19:1 in 19.1 IP. That’s pretty good. An unlucky LOB% of 61.2 and an xFIP of 2.83 also tells me he’s pitched better than what his overall line is telling us. The third thing I know? Mariners are traveling from Texas after 4 games and this’ll be their first game after said flight. Yes, they’re athletes but they’re also human. I could see Nathan getting a tired and ragged M’s team caught napping for a win and 7 or 8 Ks.
Sonny Gray, SP: $10,200 – Houston Hello! That’s all I can really say right now. Even Keith Olbermann couldn’t get this team En Fuego. They’re currently second worst in team K% at 25.1 and – not surprisingly – own the worst BABIP because of it at .220 on this young 2014 season. Gray will probably walk a few guys but given that the Asstros can’t buy a hit, this is gonna be a matchup to take advantage of.
Drew Smyly, SP: $6,700 – You want cheap? I’ll give you cheap. The Emoticon is someone I’ve already said many superlatives on via his very own Drew Smyly Fantasy Baseball Sleeper post. If Preseason dreaming doesn’t give you what you need to know, consider he’s already thrown 6 innings this year, over which he has 6 Ks, 1 walk, and only 2 hits. How happy would you be if that were his end line? Yup. Keep in mind he’ll be restricted a bit on pitch count so he’ll have to be efficient to cash for you. I’m not a used car salesman over here. I let you know when your pitcher might have a wonky clutch, if that’s something that a car can have. Clearly I’m not a car guy. So now you understand why I don’t try to sell them with a toupee and covered in plaid and pastel colors. I have plenty of better things to do with that kinda wardrobe!
Justin Turner, 1B/3B: $2,700 – A punting we will go, a punting we will go. High ho the Daily Leagues, a punting we will go. Pitching’s gonna be expensive on this day. Don’t fight it, just accept it and move on. Of course, this is me assuming Hanley Ramirez isn’t back from getting a fastball off his left hand. I know I wouldn’t be. The Diamondbacks have been a mess all year. If Turner is batting in the 2 spot, I’ll take him as a mighty 3B punt option and work my lineup up elsewhere.
Eric Hosmer, 1B: $3,700 – An even cheaper option than Morneau at 1B. Eric has been not very Hosm but the Hitter-Tron has him in the Top 20 hitters for today, making him Hosm and possibly Hosmer than he usually is. Get it? Nice, internet high five! Now triumphant Wyld Stallyns air guitar solo! And now let’s move on because that was extremely stupid. Let us never mention it again.
Scott Van Slyke, OF: $2,800 – You’d think this is just more punting biz but it’s really not. Those D-Backs are like really bad right now, bro, and Van Slyke has been getting most LHP at-bats over Crawford so far. In fact, yesterday, he was 1/3 with a run, BB and his hit was a double. And that was against Madison Bumgarner. Wonder what he’ll do against Wade Miley. Wait, I know what he’ll do…it’s definitely not gonna be in the Vegas lines section but that 7 in Dodgers stadium might be all Dodgers runs. Take advantage of discounts here and buy heavy elsewhere.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
There looks to be no major Mother Nature problems screwing with our game today. That’s good! But do note that the winds are expected to blow in from Left Field in Wrigley tomorrow, cutting down on HRs hit that way possibly. That’s bad! But they’re the only game that’s not a part of the evening slate so we’re safe. That’s good! Yeah, basically nothing to report here. Eventually we’ll fill this section with weather man images that amuse us. Oh Pettibone! We have a job for you!
Doing Lines In Vegas
COLvsPHI at 10 1/2: When the game is in Colorado, it’ll always top the vegas line taco. Chatwood has pitched decently so if I’m stacking here, it’s with Rockies players.
TEXvsCHW at 10: This game just looks weird to me. Texas hasn’t been in the business of scoring a buncha runs since 2013 really and Martin Perez may not be K’ing a buncha guys but he looks good. The under could happen here but if I’m buying into a lineup, I’d go with the Rangers stack due to a fatigued bullpen and Felipe Paulino on the mound.
KCvsMIN at 8 1/2: Next highest scoring game. Not really huge into this one as even when the Royals score, it ain’t that exciting. They have the lowest HR total in the league, 20th best in doubles and they’re 17th in SB. Eh, why did I suggest Hosmer again? With Ricky Nolasco on the mound, anything is possible but I wouldn’t get too crazy here.
TBvsNYY at 7 1/2: So if the Yankees can score 7 ERs off of David Price, just think what they can do against Erik Bedard. Seven seems like a low run total for a team that just scored 10 on the Rays’ ace and the bullpen. Filling your remaining lineup with Yankee parts wouldn’t be a bad idea. Starting Erik would. In fact, I’d say you’re completely Bedard’ed if you did.