Signs you should’ve had someone else name your group: mispelling a common word is NOT a band name. Seriously, try it. Tom Petty Andd The Heartbreakers…yeah, did ya need the extra ‘d’? Rhetorical. No you didn’t. Hrm, maybe it’s just a sign you’re a bad group and should give up music entirely? Well, history has made it so. In many ways, streamers are just like one hit wonders, even when you look back and wonder how they even had a hit at all. By the end of the year, the Reds should get guys like Joey Votto and Brandon Phillips back, making Cincy’s lineup a bit more imposing down the stretch. But we’re not there now, we’re here where guys like Ramon Santiago is batting second in the lineup and they’re starting two catchers. You shouldn’t even do that in a fantasy league that doesn’t require two Cs. Every fantasy player knows this but the Reds literally have no choice right now. All this to say, maybe some day you’ll look back with nostalgia on that one time you started Tom Koehler against the Reds and came out with some major DraftKings change for doing so. Prior to yesterday’s game, the Reds owned the worst team wOBA of the major leagues over the last 14 days while striking out 25.7% of the time. Though Koehler’s numbers on the season aren’t that inspiring, he does average 6 more DK points at home then he does on the road. Considering he’s only $6,400, he’ll leave you all the room you need to roster a big arm or big bats. And when he’s done, I’ll probably never start him again and forget how awesome he was for that one day. But for the time being, Koehler, I Wanna Sex You Up.
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Drew Hutchison, SP: $6,500 – Well if you didn’t like my Koehler call, you’re not gonna get behind this start unless you look at his splits. No, not those splits. Doubt he can do them unless he’s a bikram yoga fan. Nope, I’m referring to his home/road splits which are very Beauty and the Beast: 7.71 ERA at home but a 2.95 ERA on the road and he has almost triple the DK points while Jack Kerouac’ing vs when he’s at home. The Astros have been a hot hitting team of late so this start isn’t as safe as many would assume but for me, pass dat Hutch.
Zach McAllister, SP: $4,700 – I’m torn here, I tell you, torn! Zach isn’t that good but I will say this, he’s better than he has been. He’s the lowest priced option so if you wanna play the contrary card, he’s probably it. The Mariners are still one of the weakest hitting teams overall this year whether at home or on the road. Though the road wOBA is middle of the road, the ISO is still bottom five on the year. Again, like my Vance Worley call on Monday, I’m not gonna push for it but there is a lot of merit to it for GPP leagues. Obviously if you feel differently, taking a few hot-hitting Mariners would be the way to go. I’ll throw Dustin Ackley and Mike Zunino out there for ya.
Cliff Lee, SP: $8,400 – Maybe the Adverb will figure it out. Maybe he won’t. Either way, I don’t want to pay over $8K to find out with the other options available. Much like brussel sprouts on my plate, he’s getting the avoid face. With that in mind, here’s a cheap little BvP knowledge to drop on ya: Danny Espinosa has 3 bombs in 22 career ABs against Uncle Cliffy, is only $3,400, and can be played at 2B or SS. And for you non-BvP’ers, you do your thing, I’ll just pay attention to the HRs, thanks.
Jose Bautista, OF: $5,600 – Basically. And basically that describes the entire Toronto lineup of late as they lead the league in wOBA and ISO over the last 14 days. And though I don’t think Cosart is a bad pitcher by any means, I do think he’s a league average one that’s about to run into some hot offense. Pssst, this is a hint that stacking Blue Jays isn’t a bad idea. So if you wanna roll out guys like Colby Rasmus, Juan Francisco and even Anthony Gose, you have my blessing.
Michael Brantley, OF: $4,700 – We all know that Chris Young is getting by via old, wiley vet pitching guile at this point but he doesn’t have such luxury when pitching on the road, especially against LHBs. His home vs road wOBA is nearly .100 points different and a majority of damage has been the .369 wOBA and 7 HRs in 28 IP for lefty bats. Consider this not just a Brantley call but a Cleveland stack with as many left-handed bats you can get. I’m looking at you, Lonnie Chisenhall and you, my on fire Carlos Santana.
J.J. Hardy, SS: $3,500 – The Orioles have been scuffling offensively of late, turning in some bottom five numbers for most of the last 7 days of play. But with a lefty on the mound, it should be a chance for the O’s to go O, O, O…get it, that’s me referencing my ‘o’ face joke from Monday’s piece. You’re not worthy of new material, get over it. Guys like Adam Jones, Steve Pearce and maybe even an in a funk Nelson Cruz are good stack options but I figured I’d lead with the guy most likely to be underowned cuz that’s how I roll, yo.
Evan Gattis, C/OF: $4,000 – Wanna get saucy in a GPP? Why not put a power bat that hits lefties well in against probably the best LHP of his generation? This is a boom or bust play, obviously, but most of your batters already are if we’re being honest with each other. While we’re on the subject of honest, sorry about the pink eye. I was the one that farted on your pillow last night. Now that there are no more lies between us, no one will be on El Oso Blanco because of the opposition but he’s averaging a HR ever 8.6 ABs against lefties so far this year while hitting .395. If you’re in a ‘punt that C word’ mood, there’s always the Orioles Frankencatcher in Hundley/Joseph to bore you.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
The only bad weather reports are in parks with retractable roofs so as long as the gears don’t freeze or the retractable roof close and open guy (totally an official title) doesn’t fall asleep on the job, we’re Golden and I don’t mean Sprinkles. And just in case you were wanting to go RHB crazy in the SDvsSTL tilt – and I mean, who wouldn’t – the winds are blowing in mightily from left field at the moment.
Doing Lines In Vegas
As you can tell, I’m focusing mainly on the afternoon tilt for you gamers but if you’re playing the early games, you have an o/u of 9 in the DETvsCHW game. I’d stack some lefty killers from both sides as frugally as possible. Danks hasn’t been bad but Detroit can rock him and Smyly has been the SP5 he came into the season as. BALvsLAA is also at an o/u of 9 and I expect blood to be spilled here. That’s a graphic and gory hint that I think it sees the over. I also think an over happens in WASvsPHI. Uncle Cliffy just don’t look right. Maybe it’s his diet. Lay off the bran, bro.