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Picture this.  Stephen Strasburg comes to you and says up close, I want you to draw me like one of your French Girls wearing this.  At this moment, he pulls out his sports rope necklace from underneath his jersey.  Sure, you respond as you pour over his fantasy baseball stats, clearly distracted and not mindful of the subject.  And then he follows up this conversation with, wearing ONLY this…Oh and now it’s on.  You quickly whip out your charcoal pencil set and diligently get to work as he lavishly drapes himself across an old davenport couch.  Turn your head so I can’t see your oversized Adam’s Apple, you brusquely say.  So serious, Stras says to you with a mock scowl upon his face but with a clear glint of mischievousness in his eye.  But you don’t care as you are immersed within your art and all of the sudden you hear some weird Canadian singer tell you she believes the hot dogs will go on.  And it’s at that moment you wake up from your nightmare screaming but while rocking a semi.  Told you not to drink so much on a Friday night, bro!  There’ll be pictures on the internet later.  Last night was at ‘The Hangover’ level of messed up.  But maybe the DraftKings Gods are trying to tell you something.  Quickly!  Rush to your nearest internet providing device and find that the Stream-O-Nator has him down as the second best pitcher to Price on the day.  And then you dig a bit further and find him at $11,500 and it makes you worry that maybe the Rent Is Too Damn High.  But then you dig even further and find out that the Atlanta Braves are still one of the worst in the game at striking out as their 2014 K rate (26.2%) is sitting up near where it was last year at 22.6%.  And then you put the two together: The Braves strike out a lot and Strasburg strikes a lot of hitters out.  Win + Win = EPIC WIN.  Even the Hitter-Tron is lukewarm on Atlanta’s lineup and he’d squirt his motor oil on anything that moves if given the chance.  All this to say, a 10K+ performance could happen and you kinda wanna be in on that action.  But with all that out of the way, let’s tread on.  Here’s our picks for 4/5/14 contests on Draftkings for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…

Carlos Carrasco, SP: $7,000 – Speaking of K rates, the season is young but the Twins are sitting in the bottom 10 in that category.  Plus, Twins…do you really need a better reason?  Ok, how about Carlos will probably be at a low ownership rate on a day where many team aces will be on the mound.  That work for you?  Yeah, me too.

Jose Fernandez, SP: $12,000 – Pitching at home?  Check.  Is home a pitcher’s park?  Double check.  Are the Padres at the lower end of the K% by team?  Triple check.  Does Jose strike out a lot of guys?  GOLDEN SOMBRERO!  No, that wasn’t racist.  That’s a baseball term.  Jerk.

Cliff Lee, SP: $10,300 – One strikeout.  After abusing your team to the tune of one walk, eight earned runs and 11 hits, that’s all he gives you on opening day?  Eff this guy, right?  Well, we’re back in the good ‘ole NL this week with The Adverb and it’s against the Cubs who’ve been known to get rung up by lefties.  Here’s to hoping that due to a poor start, there will be a small avoid tag on Uncle Cliffy.

Bruce Chen, SP: $6,300 – Yeah, I’m probably nucking futs here.  But would a win with 4 to 5 Ks and reasonable H/BB/ER along with 6 to 7 IP surprise you given where he’s pitching and against what team?  I implore you!  Consider this an extreme contrarian play.  And I’ll also consider myself ignored by pretty much everyone.

Mark Trumbo, 1B/OF: $4,300 – Somehow is cheaper than Justin Morneau.  Ponder on that for a bit.  Yeah that didn’t take long.  Just click the green plus sign and move on with your day.  Oh wait, he’s OF eligible?  Well let’s just add Morneau while we’re at it or Paul Goldschmidt.  Seriously, go get a Rocky Mountain high all weekend in your lineups, people.

Charlie Blackmon, OF: $2,900 – He went 6/6 and scored 47 DK points yesterday.  I learned an important word to describe how I feel about him.  The word is fade.  The word fade means many things.  I won’t force you to Google it.  It means it might be best to avoid him despite that offensive explosion.  Unless you wanna be part of the 47% who get his 1/5 with a run scored.

Omar Infante, 2B: $3,500 – Looking to punt at 2B?  Well look no further?  Somehow Infante is still kicking it and finding himself at the tops of lineups while he does it.  I don’t know what video tapes he has of these coaches but it doesn’t matter.  What does is 2/5 with a couple of runs scored plays well in this little game we play.

Danny Valencia, 3B: $2,600 – Now I’m just trolling you, right?  Well, last year he hit over .370 against LHP in 102 at-bats.  Maybe it all means nothing but I’m inclined to believe it means you’ve got a super 3B punt at your disposal this Saturday.  And if Pedro Ciriaco gets the nod at short, sure why not.  Justin Maxwell gets thrown into the same troll boat, FWIW.  And FWIW2, no, I’m not just staring at the Royals lineup…as sexy as it is…

Yasiel Puig, OF: $5,000 – You ever watch National Geographic and they show you what a mad wild boar can do?  Well just imagine what happens with a mad Puig after getting benched yesterday.  A slam and legs could very well be served up to order.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Well Oakland had a tarp malfunction last night on par with a Janet Jackson nip slip and PPD the game.  I only had 4 Oakland hitters in my lineup for the night…but I’m not bitter.  All this to say, it currently looks like any and all weather issues are in dome proof.  Unless for some reason a bunch of A’s players throw a bunch of water balloons out on the field right before games begin and keep throwing them and the tarp crew doesn’t know what to do…but hey I’m really not that bitter!

Doing Lines In Vegas

COLsARZ at 9 1/2 is the big boy here.  Yesterday, Colorado turned in 12 runs by themselves so yeah, this could get ugly for the pitchers quickly.  I definitely want my finger all up in that pie…honey, could you please stop reading over my shoulder?  No, it’s not what you think.

HOUvsLAA at 9 as LAA scored big yesterday with 11 runs alone while Houston just didn’t do anything despite loading the bases twice.  This one could get ugly quick.  I mean, it’s already ugly by the matchup names alone.  Kuechel?  Skaggs?  Sounds like something that might require penicillin after visit to a house of ill repute in Germany.

From Around The Web

  1. Bi-Felicia says:
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    Guy in one of my leagues dropped E5 & Lynn. Hopefully I got the claim in on time. I couldn’t believe my eyes! Lol

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Wow that person is officially terrible

      • Bi-Felicia says:
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        Kyle Seger too! LOL

      • Bi-Felicia says:
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        Why bother drafting right? Heh

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          @Bi-Felicia: Ha, I missed these follow up comments. Yeah, you really need a new league. That person needs their roster locked and their head checked.

  2. Zar says:
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    Hey Sky, I got 3 players and 2 DL spots, who do I keep and hose the unlucky one to get dropped? I have Profar, Josh Johnson, and Mark Teixeira all on the DL. I’m not even sure who I would pick up instead, but that’s what I got.

    • Zar says:
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      @Zar: My current 2B off of waivers is Dozier.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I’d drop Johnson there

      • Zar says:
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        @Sky: Cool, thanks, now just gotta fill that spot….. steam time!

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Haha happy streaming!

  3. Bi-Felicia says:
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    Id lose Johnson or Profar depending on my 2nd basemen

  4. Shake N Bacon says:
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    The Oakland game dumbfounded me. There weren’t any other late games either. Total a$$ f#ck going on there.

    Yes, I am bitter! :)

    I gotta take a break from DK or just do some free lineups to get some confidence up. Shelby Miller shat all over my confidence last night. WTFudge.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I’ve been wading in mostly frees because of the weather and minimal data so I can’t blame you

      • Shake N Bacon says:
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        @Sky: Yeah. that’s what I’m going to do. Gotta get on a roll before trying to make some real $.

        Just wanted to let you know, I escaped any Nic Cage nightmares or wet dreams last night. So that was a plus. You guys were nuts. That miley cyrus one was just disturbing…I think it was miley cyrus at least.

        I’m not good at photoshop or I would’ve done a Ragin Cagin one (James Carville)

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Haha that was just googling and downloading. I have zero PS skills. And he started it!

          • Shake N Bacon says:
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            @Sky: Looked like a good time. I felt like it would’ve been even better had I been under the influence of anything….

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              You were already under the influence of Nic Cage face. Anything more and you would’ve OD’ed

              • Shake N Bacon says:
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                @Sky: That’s the damn truth!

  5. Pacochu says:
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    A friend that I referred to Razzball yesterday entered the DK contest last night. He deposited $40 and was the $500 winner. He was sweating it out until he saw the Oakland postponement. He was happy with the $20 ticket that got him $500 and the $5 Triple Up that got him $15.

    I finished 50th and was not nearly as happy.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Nice! For him…

  6. Joe G says:
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    Sky what about charlie blackmon is eh for real….do you recomend me to drop alex gordon or leonyis Martín for him?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Joe G: That would be a horrible move. He’s just in a good groove right now. The Rockies have 6 OF on their squad and he’s not going to start every day.

  7. costaricanchata says:
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    @ Sky :

    man .
    did you just jinx strasburg ?
    now , how’s he gonna step out of this bucket of shizz ??

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @costaricanchata: No kidding, what the heck Stras? Then again, he didn’t have the best start to the year against the Mets.

  8. Frank White says:
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    Hey bud.. I’m not trying to 2nd guess you but about the Moore Salazar trade. What makes Moore so tradeable meaning, 1 – what’s his downside?? 2- What’s Salazar’s Upside?? Moore is on a great team and I get 20 points per win so I just wanted to add that and Salazar was drafted a lot further down from him. Sorry just a little nervous.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Frank White: Frank, you either are up for the move or you aren’t; it’s your choice. If you wanna go look at his upside, his stats tell you his upside. Cleveland also made the playoffs last year so I’m not really certain why you’re using wins as a metric that gives Moore the nod over him.

  9. Frank Own uh... says:
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    So a guy in my league dropped Khris Davis and Arenado,..in a vacuum who do u put the higher waiver claim in for?

    Winter is Coming…again

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Ha, I like Arenado more

  10. Joe G says:
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    Sky would you trade grienke or Gio González for jean segura? Just one

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Joe G: I’d traid either for Segura. I’d try Gio first but I doubt you get him either way unless the person really doesn’t like Jean.

  11. Fister Furbush (Hawks Fan) says:
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    Hey! I had my money draft today, and yes i know it’s a week late but we had scheduling conflicts. 10 people. 1 house. Shit ton of brownies and a bunch of fancy micro beers. That’s what we like to call a draft party! It was a lot of fun, but the best part about it I’d say is my team haha WIll you judge it for me por favor?

    Team name: Draft Punk

    C. Yadi Molina
    1B. Chris Davis (4th round(steal))
    2B. Matt Carpenter/ Altuve
    3B. Ryan Zimmerman/ Manny Machado
    SS. Ian Desmond (10th round)
    OF. Andrew McCutchen
    OF. Matt Holliday
    OF. WIl Myers/Allen Craig
    Util. Jose Abreu (8th round-sort of a stretch, but i love his upside)

    SP. Yu Darvish
    SP. Chris Sale
    SP. Francisco Liriano
    SP. Chris TIllman
    SP. Mike Minor/ Doug Fister/ Taijuan Walker– (these are 3 injured SP’s that fell really late because of a DL label and I would gamble that at least one of them serves as a legit #3 or 4 for my staff.)

    RP. Tommy Hunter
    RP. Grant Balfour

    Alright my friend,what say you?

    Go Hawks!

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        @Fister Furbush (Hawks Fan): 10 people, 1 house…it’s like 2 girls, 1 cup but with brownies and good beer…actually it’s nothing like that. Would love to do that with my keeper league some day.

        Your team looks like it’s built harder, better, faster, stronger than the others should be. That SP lineup is dabomb.com, especially when guys get healthy. Probably wouldn’t go after Machado myself, especially pairing him with Zimmerman due to the injury issues of both. Plus I think his upside is minimal this year but that’s a minor quibble. Team looks really solid. Chris Davis in the 4th? What did you put in your friends’ brownies?

        • Fister Furbush (Hawks Fan) says:
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          @Sky:

          Thanks brotha man. Glad that you approve!

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            No prob my man.

  12. Frank White says:
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    What’s up Sky.. Who would you rather have, Broxton or Valverde as your closer??

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Morning Frank, not thrilled about either but give me Broxton

Comments are closed.