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Last week in the comments of this post we talked about everything but DraftKings because at this point of the season we have lost all our beer money and need to talk about something else to cope. It’s okay though because if I was winning every time I payed I would be making it rain dollar bills every night at the club and wouldn’t be writing this. I’m kidding, I love this too much and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here. (I’m lying I would rather be at the club blowing through my money like an 18 year old who won the lottery) Today I went with a music play in my title after being inspired by the considerable music discussions with Sky, Ralph and a very drunk Big Magoo last week. Great time fellas, I hope you come back today and we can have Thursdays with J-FOH continue. I will be honest, I like Simon and Garfunkel and Paul Simon’s solo career. It’s the music that soothes this savage beast and keeps my mind at ease. You got a F**KING PROBLEM WITH THAT? When I looked at my 8 options for arms today I was at a loss because I only have 8 options. With Zach Greinke missing his start, Madison Bumgarner, Tyson Ross and Clayton Kershaw are the three I feel most people will go with as they stay away from Julio Teheran. Julio has been so-so of late and could be overlooked as people try to avoid a blow up. I think they’re nucking futs with this one. The Braves have been swinging a hot stick and face a train wreck of a pitcher in David Holmberg which helps in getting the win. Julio has faced the Reds once this year and shut them out going 8 innings, striking out 5, walking two and only giving up 3 hits. Yummy! After two bad outings against the Dodgers and Mariners he came back with a 1 ER performance against the very dangerous A’s. He has the upside to get you double digit K’s and with a K/9 of 7.79 is not an unreasonable statement. The Reds on the year are 13th on the team K-rate chart doing it at a rate of 20.6%. I like his pairing with Madison and as I always do in my head when I hear Tehran’s name I think of the Iron Shiek from Tehran, Iran stomping on an opponent before the bell rings. Julio #1 Teheran #1, everyone else ptui!

Hey there everyone! I would like to welcome you to another episode of the Razzball football show. I’m going to talk about football and you better sit back and read this or else our big scary Canadian Nick will come visit you and make you. He has a van and is mobile taking residence in Anywhere, America as he promotes our game changing product on the 32in32in32 tour. We are changing the game before the game even knows it needs to be changed. Can you dig it! This week we launched our first ever Razzball Football IDP leagues with myself and IDP writer Kevin hosting the first two. We filled them up pretty fast and would like to do some more. If you are interested in hosting one then please leave a comment and we can work it out via e-mail. Jay, Grey and everyone here at Razzball would love your support as we keep trying to take Razzball Football to the next level. We have a damn good product with quality content and mandatory shenanigans over there. For those that don’t know, IDP stands for Individual Defensive Players where we get rid of the old boring team defense concept and select defensive backs, linebackers, and defensive lineman as a part of our squads. In my most humble opinion it makes the game viewing experience better than anything you have ever done before because the action for your team never stops. You get a rush as one of your players makes a great tackle, a sack, a pass deflection or an interception they take to the house. So what do you say. JOIN OR ELSE!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

David Ortiz, 1B: $5,500 – He’s the most expensive 1B option today but I can’t help but go with the hot hand. He’s blasted 3 dongs over the last 4 games and I like to ride that hot hand regardless of the cost. He goes against my value play but there is very little out there today at this spot because of all the good arms on the hill. Freddie Freeman would be your second best choice if you go with the Braves stack attack.

Chris Johnson, 3B: $3,700 – I’m all in on the stack attack against the Reds today and with Johnson batting .333 over the past week with 3 runs, 4 RBI’s and a dong in that time I highly recommend this value play. Starter David Holmberg was a total train wreck the last time out and his minor league numbers make me wonder why he isn’t playing in an adult park and recs baseball league.

Justin Upton, OF: $5,200 – Hot Schmotato alert here and couple that with the stack attack and this is the best offensive dollars you can spend today. When you go to start buying your players choose Upton first and then fit everyone else around him. Sound good? Good, let’s move on.

Mookie Betts, OF/SS: $2,600 – here is my value play today as I like to have at least one every time out when it comes to a catcher or middle infield slot. Mookie fills that need at SS and has hit in both guys since his return. The kid has elite tools and I like when guys come back for their second call up. The price is swap meet good and you will free up dollars here if you want to use Kershaw today.

Hunter Pence, OF: $4,700 – If Hunter can get himself unstuck from the light switch and clicking pens then maybe he’ll play today against Travis Wood who he has a lifetime slash line against of 6 for 18 with 1 dong. Good enough for me on a thin day. Where the hell is Colby Rasmus when I need him.

Carl Crawford, OF: $3,800 – with a .600 BA against vs. Ross and it be thinner than the Yankees Ben Gay supply then I suggest taking a shot. Watch out to make sure he’s playing today with that crowded Dodgers outfield. Call it a hunch but I think the Dodgers might drop some runs on the Padres today and not suck it.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

This is some kind of sick joke today with the weather. The ATL@CIN game is calling for Isolated Thunderstorms around game time so watch for that and the SF@CHC are also receiving a similar forecast. We can potentially have 2 games. 2 F**KING GAMES! If this is the case then save your pesos for tomorrow go buy some scratchers, a couple of tall cans and come chat in the comments about whatever you want.

Doing Lines In Vegas

The LAA@BOS game is coming in at 9 while the ATL@CIN sits at 8. I like the Red Sox game to hit the point but I think the Braves game has a chance to hit 10 or more. For my music aficionados here are a few covers to mull over while we wait. I’ve played some of these before but I want to use them as a conversation starter.

1) A Beautiful Tribute

2) A Second Chance For a Great Unknown Voice

3) Taking a Popular and getting a man to sing it

From Around The Web

  1. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    I was involved in conversation recently where it revolved around Paul Simon’s catalog vs. Billy Joel’s. The other people in the conversation were from the NYC area so you know who they were behind (Billy Joel). It blew my mind that anyone would even compare the two but okay.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’m from NY, so you know where I stand on it… Joel had like 6 great albums, Simon had maybe 3

      • Ralph Lifshitz

        Ralph Lifshitz says:
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        @Grey: Hahaha can’t take the Jersey out of the boy and all that. My wife is from Jersey too her argument for Joel is the same. If Northern Jersey and NYC had an official anthem it would be sung by Billy Joel, not Frankie.

        I disagree on Simon, he had 6 solid albums from 1972 – 1986 , plus all the S&G stuff. The thing I really like about Simon is he pushed boundaries musically. He started messing with African Rhythms and world music and stuff. Billy Joel just got fat and kept making bad 50’s retro pop. I also hate Joel’s falsetto.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Ralph Lifshitz: Bruce kicks all their asses anyway, he is the Boss…….the Ramones are way too over rated and NYC can suck it on that one too.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Honesty, is such an ugly word…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ahem, catchy bad 50’s retro pop! Yeah, musically Simon’s better, but if there’s two Sirius stations, one playing Joel and one playing Simon, which one would you listen to more? Joel for me

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: If they play Simon and garfunkel too then I’m all over Simon but Simon solo only then I take Joel

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              You can’t include Garfunkel when comparing the two… You don’t compare the Stones to just McCartney, like for like

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Grey: bad comparison but I hear ya, did you check out that vieo?

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Vieo?

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Grey: scroll down. I posted it at 10:46. Its a live hip hop re-working of 50 ways to leave your lover with a live backing bad. Very different stuff

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Ah, cool, will check it out… On my phone right now

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: tell Ted to get off the tablet

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      How did you know Ted took a pilgrimage to Mt. Sinai?

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: he tweets lots of selfies

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      He likes to attract voyeurs…

            • de nachos says:
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              @J-FOH: least favorite Joel is the extended echo on “night” on Goodnight Saigon. I want to rip my ears off. Seeing him in eastern PA was a trip to enjoy the lyrically unaware when he plays Allentown. “and they’re closing all the factories down…” YEAH WOOO ALLENTOWN RUULES!! Guess that’s like thinking Born In The USA is a patriotic song.

          • Ralph Lifshitz

            Ralph Lifshitz says:
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            @Grey: Yeah I’m on that Paul Simon station, I just don’t like Billy Joel that much. I don’t dislike Billy Joel I just only like 2 songs, Scenes from an Italian restaurant and Captain Jack. With Simon it’s a ton, 50 ways, Call Me Al, Me and Julio, Diamonds on the Soles, etc.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: Head to head – two of my favorite songs by both She’s Always a Woman vs. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. Mkaes my head explode.

        Speaking of 50 Ways here is a great live hip hop take on that song with a live band behind the MC

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pm30aqG_hQ

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: as a west coaster I woukd think it woukd be a tie. If I was to take a top ten of Joel vs Simon and garfunkel/paul simon its not even close. Simon wins. But as solo it’s an edge joel yet both grew into weird old guys anyway

  2. Hans says:
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    Looking to replace Richards…
    Vargas
    Tillman
    Hendricks
    Gio
    Mchugh
    Hughes

    Also, once Fiers becomes SP eligible after 5 do I drop who I just picked up for him?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Hans: McHugh and Gio

  3. mauledbypandas says:
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    best comments section in ages, cust kayin

    • mauledbypandas says:
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      @mauledbypandas: also, JFOH you better not have jinxed my Julio! I have him in 3/4 leagues and could really use some ratio love tonight

    • J-FOH says:
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      @mauledbypandas: Thank You, I’m trying to provide a place for the underrazz. The old schoolers a safe haven to do whatever they want to do. I own Julio too so we’re in it this one.

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