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I’m taking my chips and going home from the DFS season. What a ride it’s been making some good calls, some bad calls and sometimes the occasional really confusing link. This will be it for me in the land of milk and money. All $4.75 of my winnings to show for the hours on end I have spent looking at this maddening game called daily fantasy. Fortunately for me I got a break from the guys at DraftKings and they made Andrew Cashner ($6,600) way Way WAY too cheap today and I’m going to bounce on this like a kid in an inflatable castle. Speaking of inflatable things I saw this the other day. That is just all kinds of wrong. Cashner stepped up to his old self in his last outing by going 6, striking out 8 and walking zero…against the Dodgers. Now I get that the Dodgers have been all kinds of hot garbage lately but they still have bats that can hurt you bad. Today he gets a team of WTF in the Diamondbacks and I don’t see Cash letting them small ball him into a blow-up. Play this one with complete faith that I won’t screw you over as I’m out the door. He’s a solid guy at home against a team with nothing to fear. Trust me!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Jason Castro, C: $3,700 – I’m double dipping for Cason Jastro, that’s his travel name when he goes to Cuba. Last time out for me he hit a grand slam and I feel responsible for that one. He had been hitting like a turd and was due after two days off and getting a favorable match-up. I lit a prayer candle and ordered a cuban sandwich for dinner then BAM! Grand Slam! Today he has the best numbers on his team against Weaver and I just made reservations here.

Edwin Encarnacion, 1B: $4,500 – I don’t care who is on the mound, at this price I’m buying on the parrot wearing long dong silver. Archer got blown up the last time out and I will always take a value when a two homer day is not a shock but assumed. Hey wait, who assumes that? I love the parrot thing, they even have a T-Shirt that I want RIGHT NOW!

y2SpJ1i

Arismendy Alcantara, 2B: $4,100 – I call him little spider and he has been hotter than me at a rave on the equator. Hey, why haven’t they done that event yet? Somebody make a call. I don’t care who is pitching and I am not even going to look (it’s Hendricks) but when you are a hot schmotato you are always welcome in my line-up.

Mookie Betts, SS/OF: $3,600 – I’m on a hot schotato kick today and I just don’t care. I have done all the numbers approach and this is the best way to go about it. Find the hot hand and lay down your dollars as long as its affordable and at this price he is. Like Wesley Snipes says, “Always Bet on Betts”

Jay Bruce, OF: $3,700 – For my last call of the season I will put up the man that has singlehandedly ruined my season. At least Prince Fielder did us the honor of calling it a year early enough for us to find someone else. Besides the two week vacation he took in May, he has been the equivalent of a Corvair in hindsight, in a vacuum and living in a van down by the river! I’m playing with Ralph today for my last post of the year day and will play Bruce. He’s on the road against a right hander which are his best numbers for making contact. This just in, tonight he hit a dong with 3 people on base, that’s a damn grand salami on rye. By some weird idea of probability clarity, I’m going to say he gets a hit or two and maybe one of those goes a long way or hits a few people home. That’s lover trucker it!

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Everything looks good except for Miami which has a roof. There are scattered thunderstorms in the forecast for CHW@MIN. The wind if flying out in Kansas City while it’s flying in against lefties in MIN.

Doing Lines In Vegas

The high game is the one that might have some rain issues. At 9 1/2, the CHW@MIN game has the chance to be a slug fest if they play. I like the 8 1/2 line for CIN@BAL and BOS@NYY for stacking. The 8 1/2 for Anaheim at Houston is too high. It feels more natural to call them Anaheim. It was fun doing DFS with you all this year but it’s all over.

From Around The Web

  1. Grey

    Grey says:
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    I want that shirt in every size just in case I wake up bloat, very bloated or extremely bloated

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Grey: christma is right around the corner. I’m trying to get my buddy to work on a King of SAGNOF shirt

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        That would be great! We need a good graphic designer… I bought the Parrot shirt, BTW

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Grey: you lucky bastard, you better wear next time me do a lunch /mandate.

          I want to give this guy I know a shot. he’s a cool guy who will work with me. I got some ideas to make the rajai shirt and not have to worry about being sued. If I get them in medium it’s cheeper, ie your size as samples, and will use my mad sales skills to get a deal on the first run.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Sounds like a plan!

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: A-Team style

  2. Cram It says:
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    That shirt is phenomenal. I’d like it more without the caption, but I’m getting one.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Cram It: It’s like the Koko B Ware of baseball.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Cram It: Thanks for stopping by, I thought you were boycotting. This is a safe place Cram

      • Cram It says:
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        @J-FOH: Ha. I know. I try to stop by to peruse and see what’s shaking even though I’m not DFS’ing.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Cram It: In this and the roundup we don’t even talk about fantasy. It’s usually music and whatev’s. Like I said this a safe haven for your hate

          • Cram It says:
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            @J-FOH: You gonna be writing on the football side this season?

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Cram It: Yup, doing the RCL roundup and Flex plays. I’m wondering if I bit off more than I can chew.

              • Cram It says:
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                @J-FOH: Cool. I’m sure I’ll hit you up over there for advice because I hate fantasy football.

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Cram It: and it hates you too.

  3. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    So Today’s the day Mookie’s value shoots up! I’ve been riding him on the cheap for weeks. I feel like every few weeks I go on a hot streak when I find a great valued schotato.

    What’s on the music docket for the day. I missed the rest of the Mac Dre convo. He’s a virtual unknown out here. I posted in this morning to yesterday’s post, but it needs to be discussed.

    Is this the best Mac Dre song ever?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktE5Vyds7Iw

    I mean shit…
    “I’m A Dog, Hound West Side Clown Gig So Hard Make My Pants Fall Down
    That Beat Poundin Cutty Whered U Get It?
    Oh You Didn’t Know Dr Dre Did It
    I Come With It Rappin And Rhymin
    And Dancin Pantamymin Act Like I’m Drivin
    Then Switch It Up Dance Like I’m Fishin
    See In The Bay Area We Dance A Lil Different
    The Bay Bounce To Thizzle
    The West Coast Wizzle
    Do The Get Stupid Come Fuck With Drizzle
    Call The Hospital He Havin Convulsions
    No Hes Gettin Stupid And He Loaded Yo
    And Is The Store Still Open?
    We Need Hen That’s A Priveleged Thing
    Yadadamean? All In The Door Like Yee
    S – T – U – P – I – D”

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: I meant to say “I posted this in yesterday’s blog this morning, but it needs to be discussed”

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: I saw it, been half awake all day and running on fumes. No hip hop today, it’s my farewell DK tody and I am on empty.

      MacDre has some really great high’s and some really low lows. He’s like Del in that regard. I like this jam off the Rompilation, takes me back to the days

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qijv10fjT_Q

    • Maxi says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oumV7S5B19Y

      “I smoke backwood blunts cuz they most expensive
      Me no work, don’t touch no nuts and wrenches
      You always see my shopping like it’s christmas
      I’m always tree shoppin’ like it’s christmas”

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Maxi: good stuff, grey is gonna hate all the mac dre love in here.

          • Ralph Lifshitz

            Ralph Lifshitz says:
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            @J-FOH: Hahaha yeah I have a feeling that as long as I bring that East Coast on HipHop Sunday I’m going to have Grey’s vote.

            Any thoughts on this weeks topic?

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Ralph Lifshitz: stuff grey doesn’t like

            • nick the dick says:
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              @Ralph Lifshitz: stuff I like would be a sweet topic. Nick’s Dick Picks.

                • nick the dick says:
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                  @J-FOH: well thats just unfair

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @nick the dick: Nick vs Dick, the battle of the personalities?

                    • nick the dick says:
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                      @J-FOH: now thats a dogfight

                    • nick the dick says:
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                      @J-FOH: ill send you some picks in case you want to use any. Whats your email again?

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @nick the dick: john @ razzball .com

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: I’m in like Fred lynn

  4. JeF With 1 F says:
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    That shirt is great..your right it is KOKO B Ware

Comments are closed.