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There’s something about Katy Perry that just works for me.  I’ve tried talking to my wife about it.  ‘Do you like her voice?’, she asks.  No, I’ve heard dying wild turkeys that sound better.  ‘Maybe its her lyrics’, she suggests.  No, I’m not a 13 year old girl so that doesn’t do anything for me.  There’s just something about her, I don’t know what it is.  It’s at this point I realize both of my hands around chest high, undulating and spread open like I was holding two honeydew melons.  It’s also at this point that my wife let’s me know where I can sleep for the night.  Don’t feel bad for me, though.  The couch is pretty comfortable AND I can watch those Perry videos on mute to enjoy the bounty she has to offer.  Yeah, yeah, I know you didn’t come here to see if Katy should be rostered over at DraftKings.  And by ‘Rostered’ I mean…well nevermind what I mean, let’s talk Brad Peacock, m’kay?  As I talked with Nick about on the Razzball Podcast on Tuesday, Peacock looked amazing at times and then seemed to fall apart out of nowhere.  All this to say, my call is very to the nth degree cubed multiplied by pi risky.  I’m definitely not suggesting this for 50/50 and cash games.  But for a GPP go?  Well, at home, the Mariners carry the second worst team wOBA in the league at .279, barely beating out the Mets for last place with their robust .275.  It’s contrarian, it’s dangerous and it all comes with a cheap price tag of $6,500.  Does the DFSBot like my call?  Not one bit.  But do I?  Well…let’s just move on and see what other picks I have for you for DraftKings contests for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…

Jordan Zimmermann, SP: $9,000 – This JZ got 99 problems and a pitch IS one.  I’m officially fading him.  His low K-rate already makes him not worth the bucks against the Buccos.  The fact the Pirates don’t strike out much as a team anyway tops the ain’t touching that taco for me.

Marco Estrada, SP: $9,300 – The matchup on paper makes it seem like one of the better ones for the day.  Marlins?  At their place where that weird Unicorn Barf statue is where you have to hit it 500 feet for a HR?  Count me in, right?  Well…Marlins have the second best team wOBA at home to only the Rockies this year.  Not a bad idea to actually do a Marlins mini-stack or at least fill empty roster spots with some fish.

Tom Koehler, SP: $8,200 – What, did you expect me to tell you to start Kershaw or King Felix?  If you need me to tell you that, you probably shouldn’t be playing.  With Ryan Braun leaving yesterday’s game with…well, whatever ailment he has now, the Brew-crew could be looking pretty slim on the offensive front.  If you think that’s cool, given they strikeout at a decent rate, you could see 6 to 7 innings and 5 to 6 K here with a reasonable shot at a win.  And what could be Koehler than that?

Edwin Jackson, SP: $8,100 – As the saying goes, life is like a box of E-Jax.  You never know if you’re gonna get shelled.  It’s the Padres and it’s in a pitcher’s park.  The situation couldn’t be more perfect.  If only Edwin Jackson was so I could suggest him with confidence.

Miguel Cabrera, 1B/3B: $6,000 – His price as a hitter is reaching nosebleed territory.  Oddly, that’s probably the section he’ll plant one off of Scotty Bakes.  If you went cheap on Brad, squeezing Cabrera in should be a breeze, even though it’s never a breeze to squeeze him into anything.

Adam Jones, OF: $4,900 – Some dude named T.J. House is taking the mound for the Tribe.  Said dude is a left handed pitcher.  Said dude is prolly gonna get crushed.  Both Jones and Nelson Cruz are killing lefties this year.  If you can afford these two (Nelson is at $5K) along with Miggy…well, I’d like to see your pitching staff and if you have Clayton in there, I’d like to know how you scrambled the DK code and got a $100,000 salary.

Jose Bautista, OF: $5,300 – As a lefty, it feels weird picking on LHP but when a dude has a .442 ISO and .592 wOBA against them on the year, you kinda have to.  In fact, there are a lot of guys who rake LHP in that Blue Jays lineup and they’re at home.  Scott Kazmir starters beware.

Grant Green, 2B: $3,000 – Now I don’t believe Green has played even 5 innings at 2nd base all year so I don’t get why he has that setup.  What I do know is he’s hit LHP well so far this year and Danny ‘where am I throwing it’ Duffy is on the mound and it’s in LAA-LAA land.  If Green gets the start in the OF, he could be a great punt option so you can afford all the guys above that go for like a bajillion dollars.

Josh Harrison, 3B: $2,600 – Harrison has been my dirty little 3B secret when he starts because when he does, he typically leads off.  He’s averaged 11 DK points a game over his last 4.  Don’t expect any HRs but at his price, he doesn’t have to to cash for you.

Brandon Moss, 1B/OF: $5,300 – Not a cheap play by any means.  But you know who’s cheap?  Liam Hendricks.  So cheap DK didn’t even price him for the day because they know you’re smarter than that.

Matt Joyce, OF: $3,700 – If you wanna give batter vs pitcher any mind, Joyce for his career is 7/22 off of John Lackey with 2 bombs.  If you wanna give BvsP further mind, Evan Longoria ($4,300) is 10/34 with 2 HRs of his own off John.  Hrm, sounds like he may *pinky to mouth* Lackey a good ERA after this game.  Yes, I’ll leave now.

Danny Valencia, 2B/3B: $2,800 – Now on the one hand, I do think C.J. Wilson is the safest Ace taking the mound tonight.  On the second hand, though, Valencia just got the starting gig at 3rd and has done most of his damage the last few years against LHP.  He may not score a run or get an RBI but a 2/4 night with a double mixed in there should help and he’s definitely a cheap punt play at two positions.

Jay Bruce, OF: $3,500 – You’ve got outfield options, yo.  Here’s to hoping the Reds aren’t rushing Bruce back too soon as the DFSBot kinda sorta likes him today and I really sorta like the price.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Only game that looks dangerous is NYMvsAZ as likelihood of precipitation is sitting around 50% for most of the day.  Damn, there goes that sexy Mets stack.  Yes I was joking.  I checked, I had no sarcasm font to put that in.

Doing Lines In Vegas

The two games expected to lead the offensive charge on the day at 9 for the over/under are TORvsOAK and BALvsCLE and as you can see, I clearly took note above.  Plan accordingly.

CHWvsNYY at 8.5 – After yesterday’s poor showing, I’m pretty sure the Yanks will have Hector Noesi saying Hector No Likey by the 4th inning.  Which you should likey just fine.  Meanwhile, Scott Baker gets to give the Detroit Tigers a chance at the over on the 8 over/under.  Oddly, my over/under of HRs hit off of Baker today is 8.  Isn’t that weird?

  1. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    Have to agree on Katy, also a big fan myself….but it also has nothing to do with her music. Though Fireworks always gets me back on my feet after a good cry. In fact I listened to it last night when I realized I had a team where I drafted Prince and Jedd!

    So are we dueling tonight?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Ralph Lifshitz: Embarrassingly, this is no joke. I actually watched her ‘part of me’ tour bio thingy. Not as much nudity as I was hoping for (read: none).

      The duel is in the mail my friend.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: I wish there was a way to do a menage a trois duel?

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: Mexican Circle Jerk Standoff?

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Sky: set it up….

            • Ralph Lifshitz

              Ralph Lifshitz says:
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              @J-FOH: We could do a three person league, right?

  2. Allan says:
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    Is Dallas Keuchel for real? Would you drop Drew Smyly to pick him up? I like the emoticon but hate what the Tigers management is doing to him and my fantasy team.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Allan: The only thing holding Kuechel down right now would be wins vs Smyly. I’m not sure with how Drew has been pitching he holds a starting spot all year. Kid just can’t seem to pitch efficiently. I do think Dallas is for real. Should sustain a near 8 K/9 rate and his GB% make him a lock for a low ERA. Really like him myself, I’d do it.

      • dubjay says:
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        @Sky:
        sorry to piggyback, but would you drop Garza for him? I am tired of holding onto this guy

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          @dubjay: I’m not a Garza guy so yes

  3. John says:
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    Very helpful DFS info.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @John: Thanks John, good to hear! Too bad Peacock just got bumped from his start with a forearm strain. *sighs*

  4. Clint says:
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    Your article just got torpedoed, Sky. Astros scratched him from today’s start due to the newly-scary “right forearm tightness” term per rotoworld.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Clint: Yeah, I saw that. I has a major sad about it, too. Wish they’d at least give me Owens as a consolation. Mariners are so lefty heavy, they’ll probably get shut down by a guy with a 6+ ERA in AAA today.

  5. Rubik's Pube says:
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    Hey fellas, how do I look someone up on DK to send them a challenge? Yes, I am mildly retarded. Please don’t judge

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Rubik’s Pube: Ha, you’re good. I don’t think there’s actually a way to search, per se. Sounds like Razzball should make a page of DK handles for the world to see…hrm…but more to your question, some guys are obvious (I’m Sky-Razzball) and some may have a more funky one by comparison to their regular handles. Best to just ask if you have a way of contacting them.

  6. Amolnar says:
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    Torii Hunter or Cuddyer tonight??

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Amolnar: I’d go Cuddy there

  7. J-FOH says:
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    I’m in 5 contests today…does that make me a degenerate gambler?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Are you up for the year?

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        @Grey: Is this a viagra question?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, of course! Dur!

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: doubled my money so far…..bet all house money tonight…feelin lucky or really stupid

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Nice! Good luck!

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: Thanks, I’m such a cheap ass this is going to be nerve racking. If I win though it’s party time

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              You and Sky, two peas in the pod!

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                @Grey: I’m cheap ass party time?

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Freeze Booze Sky Sperling? No way!

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
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                    @Grey: Says the man who passed out AT the mansion. How many thimbles of beer did you drink?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      How could remember what I did at the mansion you were so blotto?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I didn’t reach the bridge of no return until the after party where I think I started drinking Tequila straight from the bottle.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      That’s when I called for reinforcements…cougs!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      It was a bleary ride to wherever we ended up. Yay free booze!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Zankou chicken where you ended up in the bathroom…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Don’t worry, I know revenge is on the horizon. I fear for it.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      This shall never pass

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Notice I’m not coming to LA for the Fall tour? Trust me, I know.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Haha

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: The Pacific Northwest Puker?

                    Sloppy Spewing Sky?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Triple S

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: I think you guys needs an escort next time. You know I could carry around passed out Grey

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      You could carry us both

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: thats the scary part

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                @Grey: BTW, nice work on the radio-tube show today. I think you were able to talk fantasy baseball for at least 5 minutes from what I heard. That might be the record so far.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  I’m trying for a whole show with no baseball but I get distracted…

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: you can read your college dissertation the whole time

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      It was about baseball so doesn’t work

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
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                    @Grey: I think we can do it if we put our minds together. Jaywrong could talk about the various dating sites he’s on, Tehol can talk about his modeling, JFOH can talk about everything there is to hate in the world and I can just be drunk.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Done and done

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @Sky: If I was to do everything I hate it will turn into a Ken Burns length show.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      We’d all just leave and hit record

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @Sky: then watch it over the next 6 months

  8. J-FOH says:
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    f**k me in the neck….why did I pull Nelson Cruz out of my original lineup!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Always bet on orange!

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: ….and black…..wait is that racist?

  9. J-FOH says:
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    Oh Christ in a sidecar, Archer never K’s 6 in 3 innings. I had him originally and swapped him out for E S T R A D A

    Reynolds with two dongs? what a DK value today…screw you chisenhall

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Yeah, Chisenhall. What a jerk with his RBI double. Hope Kershaw takes the mound after this little sprinkle. Lotta sunk teams if not. Wasn’t supposed to rain heavy until late.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: I decided between him and reynolds. I did a $5 triple up tonight. In 2nd place.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Nice, good luck!

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Sky: I’m 107 out of 4,600 in a moonshot with E Jax on the hill later. I need 12K’s and the W out of him tonight.

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Nice, hope you take it.

  10. J-FOH says:
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    Damn, the guy leading the moonshot I’m in stacked the brewers plus todd frazier

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