And get into my DraftKings roster. When I was 19-20 years old, we used to go to my buddies house and drink 40’s in his side yard. With nothing else better to do, we would just get wasted, smoke cheap cigarettes and try to entertain each other anyway we could. This would consist of telling jokes, watching TV on a 6 inch black and white or lighting things on fire. One day my buddy told me this joke that for some reason or another stuck in my head for the rest of my life. So it’s 1972 and Hugh Hefner is hosting a party at the playboy mansion and all the celebrities are there. As Dennis Weaver is leaving he gets confronted by Hugh in the coat room for leaving too early. In a drunken stupor Hugh takes Dennis to the ground and right then Mic Jagger walks in the room and yells Hey Hugh! get off McCloud. Yeah thats been stuck in my head and every time I hear that song this joke plays in my mind. Maybe it was all the alcohol or other substances that result in the altering of reality, but that night I thought it was the funniest thing I ever heard and started choking on my O.E. That’s all for you Chuck d’EEZ! Tonight we have Collin McHugh ($9,200) pitching against the Rangers quad A ball club and even though he is the most expensive arm there, I think he is worth every penny. I’m streaming him in my RCL and I didn’t even have to blink with that add. In August he’s posted a 1.76 ERA with 24 K’s in 30 innings and gets one of the worst teams in baseball. I’m an easy sell here and even though I like to go more value with my lead I can’t help it on this one today. Start with confidence and when he kills it, shower me with love and if he sucks it complain to Sky because he’s he’s my editor for this.
Yesterday I…we…us posted our new RCL Fantasy Team Name contest where the winner gets a free T-Shirt and all the respect one deserves for being a punny bastard! Here is the link. Please vote in the comments of that post so we can accumulate a list for you to vote. So stop what ya doin and go vote. Like right now.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.
Mike Minor, SP: $7,500 – he was my runner up today but I am a little apprehensive with this pick because the Mets have got to him in the past. Minor’s been on point over his last three starts and the k-rate has been great in those contests. I fear Lucas Duda against him and will probably highlight him as a play today but he is all the worry I have in this one. David Wright has been Mr. Wrong this year and I am banking on him not adding a fourth dong to his career total vs. Minor.
Lucas Duda, 1B/OF: $4,700 – I just went over his opponent right above this and he is the only player I like in this match-up. He has 5 dongs in the last 10 games and is smoking hot right now. Hot Schmotato’s should be played with and never left in your toy box. Hopefully he goes yard with a solo shot and we get a win win for both the plays.
Steve Pearce, 1B/OF: $4,400 – My next in the line of multi positional guys that is on the Hot Schmotato train of late. Blasting 4 bombs in the last ten games and making everyone want to go out and pierce a body part. My nipples look great now that they have some bling on them. Wait! What? That never happened, move along, nothing to see here.
Jason Heyward, OF: $4,500 – He’s actually been hitting and even though he disappoints us every year in regular fantasy, he can always redeem himself in DFS. Career against Niese he’s gone 9 for 24 with 2 doubles and 2 dongs. Redemption!
Marwin Gonzalez, 3B/SS: $3,000 – If Gregorio Petit plays then this is null and void but if so then play Petit, he’s solid and cheap too ($3,100). I’m on the frontline leading the Astros on the stack today against the Rangers at home. He’s hit .280 with a 8/1/4 line over the last two weeks and is as cheap as they come. I say go for it!
Jason Castro, C: $3,600 – I’m not a big spender at the catcher spot and with it being off day today I will go upside. Castro has been as flat as your 5th grade girlfriend but after back to back off days, he gets a home start vs. a pitcher he has gone 4 for 8 with two dongs against. Yes please and thank you.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
It’s sunny and warm all over the place with the only possible rain in Houston but it won’t matter because they play inside. The wind for the [email protected] is blowing across from left to right so get your lefties in there. I miss the rain and can’t wait til I get back to my flannels and jeans.
Doing Lines In Vegas
Not a game over 9 tonight but a few are at 8 1/2: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], and [email protected] You can stack attack any of these if you like, but my favorite is the Astros (but you already knew that). Kansas City is also of special interest but you would have to read this far in to know I like them. Yes stack them, it’s our little secret.