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And get into my DraftKings roster. When I was 19-20 years old, we used to go to my buddies house and drink 40’s in his side yard. With nothing else better to do, we would just get wasted, smoke cheap cigarettes and try to entertain each other anyway we could. This would consist of telling jokes, watching TV on a 6 inch black and white or lighting things on fire. One day my buddy told me this joke that for some reason or another stuck in my head for the rest of my life. So it’s 1972 and Hugh Hefner is hosting a party at the playboy mansion and all the celebrities are there. As Dennis Weaver is leaving he gets confronted by Hugh in the coat room for leaving too early. In a drunken stupor Hugh takes Dennis to the ground and right then Mic Jagger walks in the room and yells Hey Hugh! get off McCloud. Yeah thats been stuck in my head and every time I hear that song this joke plays in my mind. Maybe it was all the alcohol or other substances that result in the altering of reality, but that night I thought it was the funniest thing I ever heard and started choking on my O.E. That’s all for you Chuck d’EEZ! Tonight we have Collin McHugh ($9,200) pitching against the Rangers quad A ball club and even though he is the most expensive arm there, I think he is worth every penny. I’m streaming him in my RCL and I didn’t even have to blink with that add. In August he’s posted a 1.76 ERA with 24 K’s in 30 innings and gets one of the worst teams in baseball. I’m an easy sell here and even though I like to go more value with my lead I can’t help it on this one today. Start with confidence and when he kills it, shower me with love and if he sucks it complain to Sky because he’s he’s my editor for this.

Yesterday I…we…us posted our new RCL Fantasy Team Name contest where the winner gets a free T-Shirt and all the respect one deserves for being a punny bastard! Here is the link. Please vote in the comments of that post so we can accumulate a list for you to vote. So stop what ya doin and go vote. Like right now.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to check the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Mike Minor, SP: $7,500 – he was my runner up today but I am a little apprehensive with this pick because the Mets have got to him in the past. Minor’s been on point over his last three starts and the k-rate has been great in those contests. I fear Lucas Duda against him and will probably highlight him as a play today but he is all the worry I have in this one. David Wright has been Mr. Wrong this year and I am banking on him not adding a fourth dong to his career total vs. Minor.

Lucas Duda, 1B/OF: $4,700 – I just went over his opponent right above this and he is the only player I like in this match-up. He has 5 dongs in the last 10 games and is smoking hot right now. Hot Schmotato’s should be played with and never left in your toy box. Hopefully he goes yard with a solo shot and we get a win win for both the plays.

Steve Pearce, 1B/OF: $4,400 – My next in the line of multi positional guys that is on the Hot Schmotato train of late. Blasting 4 bombs in the last ten games and making everyone want to go out and pierce a body part. My nipples look great now that they have some bling on them. Wait! What? That never happened, move along, nothing to see here.

Jason Heyward, OF: $4,500 – He’s actually been hitting and even though he disappoints us every year in regular fantasy, he can always redeem himself in DFS. Career against Niese he’s gone 9 for 24 with 2 doubles and 2 dongs. Redemption!

Marwin Gonzalez, 3B/SS: $3,000 – If Gregorio Petit plays then this is null and void but if so then play Petit, he’s solid and cheap too ($3,100). I’m on the frontline leading the Astros on the stack today against the Rangers at home. He’s hit .280 with a 8/1/4 line over the last two weeks and is as cheap as they come. I say go for it!

Jason Castro, C: $3,600 – I’m not a big spender at the catcher spot and with it being off day today I will go upside. Castro has been as flat as your 5th grade girlfriend but after back to back off days, he gets a home start vs. a pitcher he has gone 4 for 8 with two dongs against. Yes please and thank you.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

It’s sunny and warm all over the place with the only possible rain in Houston but it won’t matter because they play inside. The wind for the ATL@NYM is blowing across from left to right so get your lefties in there. I miss the rain and can’t wait til I get back to my flannels and jeans.

Doing Lines In Vegas

Not a game over 9 tonight but a few are at 8 1/2: MIN@KC, TB@BAL, CLE@CHW, and TEX@HOU. You can stack attack any of these if you like, but my favorite is the Astros (but you already knew that). Kansas City is also of special interest but you would have to read this far in to know I like them. Yes stack them, it’s our little secret.

From Around The Web

  1. Nico

    Nico says:
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    Nice, J! We’re on the same page tonight. Minor has burned me multiple times in a row. So bitter… Wind blowing in from LF right now, which could knock down some balls in MetCo.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Nico: nice, last night it projected wind blowing across from left to riight

      • Nico

        Nico says:
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        @J-FOH: Still leaning that way actually, but a little in now. LF to 1B. 13 mph!

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Nico: Minor is a must for sure, thanks for the update!

  2. nick the dick says:
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    We need to get Grey into the Demigodz stuff next for sure. It’s too good to not hear. All Ap’s albums, Celph’s album is just so fantastic, can’t ask for more than all 90’s Buckwild beats!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @nick the dick: I played to the crowd today after Grey questioned my coolness yesterday. Even though I don’t buy as much hip hop as I used to, because I’m a junkie of many forms, I still get the 411 on everything. My buddy from South Central who works the door at my bar always talks hip hop. He’s always throwing me stuff to listen too after I burned him a dozen discs of older underground that blew his mind. It’s funny we hang out back of the bar where the entrance is and I drink and he stands around checking ID’s and we talk about or play videos of hip hop on our phone all the time. Sometimes the ghetto kids from the apartments stroll over and in turns into a huge convo. You’d fit in perfect. We even went most skilled female rapper/rhymer not from the underground the other day. That was actually kind of a weird one. People blurred the line between skills and who they want to bone. I threw in that when they performed in a group did it work or was it weird. Okay I’m rambling

      • nick the dick says:
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        @J-FOH: ramble on my man! Yeah that sounds cool, good to have someone who can put you onto the lastest new stuff thats good. Im the same way with dudes making them hear the old shit they havent heard before, theres endless stuff from back then and real hip hop heads should get into all of it. If i was in that female convo id say Rage, she was my shit as far as chicks go. Loving this hidden hip hop shit by the way, im ready to see the sunday battle!

        • J-FOH says:
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          @nick the dick: I usually let them go at it and I always throw in a wildcard or someone of the reservation. I threw in Suga-T from the Click and got all kinds of props on that because she was so off the radar. That turned the conversation to what style of hip hop fits the ladies best and we came to the conclusion that old school beats are the best for the ladies.

          We all agree that we miss the G-Funk era and would like to see a quality throwback to that time. But since so few kids get the tunes that inspired them that it won’t happen. I used to buy albums at this record store and the owner asked me one time if I was a DJ because I would buy all the old funk and soul albums and I told him know. He asked why then and I told him it’s because A) its good stuff and B) because i like to know where my DJ’s and beat makers are coming from. Some of my favorite albums are the breaks records that DJ Shadow and Cut Chemist did in support of the 7″ freeze. original cuts to some classic beats

          • nick the dick says:
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            @J-FOH: yeah man DJs get no love nowadays its baffling. Its the bread and butter of hip hop. Cut and Shadow have some phenomonal stuff and if you cant appreciate some really good DJing then i cant fucks with ya. The era of sampling old soul and jazz is unmatchable, i love hearing the old tracks where our beats and sounds came from. Theres a guy who plays some bars down here and plays all old 90s stuff and he has all the records of where the samples came from so he transitions from the old jazz songs into the hip hop tracks, its great.

            • J-FOH says:
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              @nick the dick: Now I’m f**king jealous. I want to see that so bad. Is he on YouTube?

              • nick the dick says:
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                @J-FOH: nah just him in an interview about doing this urban art show in New London during this kinda festival thing we do every year. Hes a small time guy just at little local bars and stuff but the way he does it with the original samples and slides into the hip hop track is great

                  • nick the dick says:
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                    @J-FOH: ah you were already probably depressed and full of hate, you’ll live…

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @nick the dick: screw your sensible words and that stupid Yankees hat you’re wearing. I’m going home

                  • nick the dick says:
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                    @J-FOH: im already gone

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @nick the dick: don’t you walk away from me

          • nick the dick says:
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            @J-FOH: forgot to say too that Apathy video is shot in my hometown New London, right down the street from me

  3. Aoki, RIOS, OR Logan Morrison from here on out. format head to head roto style scoring, the SB’s I could use I own Rios but he sucks right now.. . Yes O.E. as a youngster was my drink. BROWN BAG SPECIAL. Good times

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Dnut eastwood: rios or Aoki because either can get crazy hot

  4. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Oh, man, that Apathy joint was ridunk…

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Grey: you’re welcome mighty mustache

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