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What have you all been drinking this year? I’ve been pounding the Kole Calhoun Aid since the pre-season and it’s delicious. But as the Calhoun has exploded it’s time to switch to the Vegas sized Funky Kole Medina. That little ginger caught in the Scioscnado of line-up uncertainty has scared many off. I look at it as making my life easier. I know when he plays and when he doesn’t and that allows me to run him out there when a right hander is on the hill and batty call the days he faces a lefty. But J-FOH, he started against left hander J.A. Happ the other day? That is correct diligent commenter. He did make a start and I have to say, “IT”S ABOUT FRIGGIN TIME!” Going 1 for 4 with a run scored is better than a James Loney 4020 day. Today he gets a road game in Arlington against Tokyo Rose Colby Lewis and in the words of the Guru, me likey! He’s the 4th rated player on the Hitter-Tron and at $4,200 won’t break your bank. It will be hard to pass on Clayton Kershaw vs. the Padres so you’re going to have to curb your offensive spending a little. Senor Calhoun is a good start.

I’m really glad to see we have grown our little Razzball DraftKings league into a nice sized 20 teamer. Let’s go for 30? C’mon, I know some of you are school teachers. What a better way to spend your huge salaries over the summer than drink breakfast beers and play daily fantasy? Think of all the great school supplies you can buy with your winnings. DK accepts credit cards *wink wink nudge nudge*

Clayton Kershaw, SP: $13,400 – WTF am I thinking putting the most expensive player on here? 36 straight shutout innings and pitching against the Padres at home. Is there anything else to say? Nope. He’s the best in the game.

Drew Smyly, SP: $6,300 – He has owned the Royals this year and as I write that I recall that the 3rd time is not a charm rule. But you know what? IDGAF!!! He’s a deal and worth pairing with Kershaw to give you a nice one-two punch. Against the Royals this year he’s got 12K’s in 14 innings with a .184 BA against. Yummy!

Pedro Alvarez, 3B: $3,700 – He hit a dong the other day and has hit 3 against Shelby Miller over 18 AB’s. The price is nice and I like his chances to end the not really the first half first half with a bang. C’mon Pedro from Pittsburgh, get it together….for today.

C.J. Cron, 1B: $3,600 – I love the Cron Dog even though the Sciosciapath is about as predictable as a 3 year old’s moods. Over the last month he averages a home run every 10 AB’s. The price is nice and a dry heat game start temp of 97 will lead to some balls flying out tonight.  Can we get a dong up in here?

Jhonny Peralta, SS: $3,500 – I don’t care how well he’s pitched, I can’t trust Edison Volquez. What I can trust is Direct TV always working at my house and Peralta hitting bombs. He’s hit two in 7 AB’s vs. Volquez and is always good for a cheap roll in the hay. Hey! I meant a cheap roll of the dice.

Neil Walker, 2B/3B: $3,700 – Since returning on June 24th he’s hit safely in all but 3 games. Career against Miller he’s 5 for 15 with 3 doubles. With all these expensive arms today you have to play value bats with upside and Walker has that going for him.

B.J. Upton, OF: $ 3,700 – He owns Colon going 9 for 29 with 3 XBH over his career and has been hitting the ball the last two weeks (.280 with 11 runs and 4 steals). Might not be a bad punt play to couple with one of your high priced outfielders. It’s hard to take a BJ when it’s been so bad so many times.

Gregory Polanco, OF: $4,000 – The G-Po has been hitting since his call up and loves feasting on righties. He can drop dongs, steal bags and is not over priced today. It looks like I’m stacking against Shelby today…yup, I sure am.

Alex Rios, OF: $ 4,600 – Vegas likes this game for runs so I’ll highlight the best match-up. Rios has gone 3 for 6 with 2 dongs against Hector Santiago and has 30 XBH’s on the year. That really matters in DraftKings for you newbies.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains

WSH @ BAL is the one game that has the possibility of rain with DET @ KC and ATL @ NYM with cloudy skies. The rest of the games are sunny skies with high heat for the LAA @ TEX game. The wind took the day off for off day Thursday too so I don’t see that factoring anywhere.

Doing Lines In Vegas

Nothing spectacular – that’s what she said – today besides the LAA @ TEX game coming in at 10. NYY @ CLE is opening at 9 and the DET @ KC game sits currently at 8 1/2. Very little for a stack attack today so you’re going to have to spread it around like the Hitter-Tron at a used car lot.

 

From Around The Web

  1. Allan says:
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    Wheeler, Alvarez, or Lincecum tomorrow?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Allan: Alvarez

  2. Jay_0321 says:
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    We playing tonight?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Jay_0321: If I get a chance to get on. Ralph handles all the leagues

  3. ddmcd1974 says:
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    It is so hard not to play Kershaw against the Padres. What do you think about taking both sides here? The win at DK isn’t the end all be all.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @ddmcd1974: it’s not, but the low K’s of DespIcan’tspell is not great

  4. de nachos says:
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    I couldn’t have picked a better day for my first BJ of the season. And I’m excited to see Bossman Junior play the Mets tonight, too. Prob too expensive for DK but in RCL your boy Miggy owns Guthrie.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @de nachos: Miggy owns half of the AL pitching and a big fat belly.

  5. de nachos says:
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    Mah Phil’s sweep the Brewers! Forget this fire sale nonsense they are Buyers. Let’s see, how can we raise our average starter’s age of 31.1…is Paul Konerko on the market? #bringbackbobbyabreu

    • J-FOH says:
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      @de nachos: I think I know the answer but are you drunk? When I referenced the breakfast beer I was thinking of you.

      The Brewers are over rated, they had a hot start and are riding that out

  6. de nachos says:
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    HA I am a poor reading dumb bass. And to your assumption currently the answer is yes. But not officially. A string of trunk (Penna Dutch accent) or Hun-gover (Long Island accent) injuries have made me promise to slow down i.e. try not to drink before 10am. I’m thinking Cespedes defends his HR derby crown and catapults him into a monster second half, speaking of the reverse Bobby abreu. How’s Billy’s hammy?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @de nachos: he pinch hit today…dick!

      I shouldn’t assume you are drunk, your tolerance and semi pickled liver call this state “normal nacho”

  7. Jay_0321 says:
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    Any contest? I can set one up.

      • Jay_0321 says:
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        You are on!@Sky:

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Word! Haven’t played in about a week; not enough time to set lineups of late. You’re bringing me out of a mini-retirement!

          • Jay_0321 says:
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            Dude, I forgot about my lineups today and just put one together without even really looking. Good luck! Shit talk to follow!@Sky:

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Ha, good luck for you today too! Except in that one H2H league…you know…

              • Jay_0321 says:
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                I dont want to play anymore! Down 40 points!@Sky:

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Ha! If Fartolo Colon keeps at his current pace, I’ll start losing some of those precious points here shortly. Dude seems to want to ruin my good day.

                  • Jay_0321 says:
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                    Holy hell, I have 2 CS. Peralta and Bethancourt!@Sky:

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Yeah, neither of those guys should be running anyways. Something tells me you got the dreaded botched hit and run twice over.

  8. Sky

    Sky says:
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    I wanted this somewhere in the Razzball comments. Your post seemed like the best place for it. Cheers!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Sky: Ah…. memories from my Oregon trip to visit you.

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        I take it you remember this part then:

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Sky: what can I say, she wanted the lotion with protein and I obliged.

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            It was quite the thick, ropey strand. Something is a little off about your diet, friend.

          • de nachos says:
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            @J-FOH: you must eat a lot of lettuce

          • Big Magoo

            Big Magoo says:
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            @J-FOH: Looks like a diet centered around meat. For both parties.

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Big Magoo: lots of carne asada tacos

          • Birdmann says:
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            @J-FOH: always a giver

  9. de nachos says:
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    Calhoun a HR short of the cycle. You know I did draft him. You really should trade him to me on a discount.

    • Kid A says:
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      @de nachos: Offer him Aoki and a mouth hug.

      • de nachos says:
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        @Kid A: I ‘ll mouth hug anybody to get my Eaton 3-5 tonight, can Julio White make that happen?

        • J-FOH says:
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          @de nachos: I hella heart J-FOH could.

  10. Bob says:
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    Liriano Minor Gee would you cut any of the above for Jimmy Nelson ?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Bob: nope

  11. Steve says:
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    What do you think of Bundy and his 75 pitch count? I’ve been stashing him hoping to catch lightning in a bottle but now it seems his spot might be better used for a streamer.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Steve: streamer. How they handled gausman spells stay away

  12. Birdmann says:
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    Hah thanks for the nod, I will get off my teacher butt and spend my money say no more.

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