I don’t know what this world’s come to, but I’m going to discuss the Mariners for a minute; a team that hasn’t been relevant since the lights of the King Dome shone brightly on Jay Buhner’s beautiful bald head. Seattle’s offense has sent gag reflexes into sixth gear in recent past, but some players are starting to come around, especially the sultan of Safeco, Kyle Seager. I’ll gush more about him later, but the Mariners can be a sneaky stack at home, and there are a couple M’s I’ll be all in on tonight. Screw it, keep reading and get my complete roster for the low price of squadoosh.
By all means, if you don’t like what you see, there are always Razzball’s kick-ass DFS tools like Hitter-Tron, Stream-o-Nator, and DFSBot that can help aid in the decision process. Either way, get on over to DraftKings and make precious memories of making money.
Tyson Ross, SP: $8,300 – Sometimes this dude is Iron Mike, and other times, he’s whiny guy from Friends who never deserved to bang Jen Aniston. I like Ross to be more Tyson against the D-Backs, who are 10th in strikeouts against RHP. Ross has been boss at Petco, sporting a vastly deflated ERA (2.36) and inflated K/9 (9.45), and he has a three-year .184 BAA and 1.96 ERA against Arizona.
Justin Verlander, SP: $7,700 – I’m basically doing the contrarian play to my common sense. I’ve called Verlander cooked on many occasions, but he had a solid start in his last outing (24.2 DK points), and I’m going cheap on pitching to afford some of the primo bats you’ll see below.
Casey McGehee, 1B/3B: $3,600 – If you’re like me, and huddled around a six-disc changer circa 1993, listening to Adam Sandler CDs, you’ll appreciate the nickname, “Hits McGehee.” Unlike a slim-fit suit, the moniker suits Casey well considering he leads the NL in singles and has scored fewer than five DK points in just three of the last 10 games (no goose eggs during that stretch). It’s crazy he only has one long ball (not in the Lance Armstrong way), but there’s power in this consistent point producer.
Derek Dietrich, 2B: $3,200 – If Double-D was a dog, Razzball would be splattered in his urine because he’s a mainstay in the majority of these fine DFS articles. Dietrich’s marked his territory as a fine play against RHP at home, where he owns a .364 wOBA, and his pop on the cheap is always a plus.
Kyle Seager, 2B/3B: $4,200 – Here’s my latest pretty little pet when facing RHP at home. Seager sports a suck-me-sideways 1.319 OPS versus righties in Safeco, and Cleveland’s Trevor Bauer scares me not. His road splits could make Bane cry at Batman’s funeral, and his 1.53 HR/9 clearly show he’s sorely misunderstood how and why chicks dig the long ball. You’re doing it wrong, bro.
Troy Tulowitzki, SS: $5,300 – I have the funds, so why not splurge on the game’s best shortstop, who also conveniently has a three-year 1.093 OPS at Miller Park and is 7-for-21 lifetime against Kyle Lohse?
Mike Trout, OF: $5,800 – I’m still swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck. Trout has caused Royals fans more heartache than the Chiefs (career 1.139 OPS against), and you like to see the left-handed Jason Vargas on the mound considering Subway’s finest has a holy shnikes .313 ISO against southpaws. No receipt needed on this purchase.
Khris Davis, OF: $4,000 – Don’t call him Chris Davis … in sign language … but call on the Brewers’ RBI leader tonight against the lefty Matzek, who is only making the fourth start of his career. Davis is slugging .676 with a .452 wOBA against LHP, and that’s a surefire slam dunk like Shawn Kemp in 1994.
Logan Morrison, 1B/OF: $3,300 – LoMo said no mo’ to fantasy wasteland, and he’s been raking since finding his way into Seattle’s everyday lineup. With three HR in his last six games (and on the right side of the platoon), Morrison has potential to make some noise against the aforementioned Bauer.
I’m Only Happy When It Rains
It would be a damn shame if any of the following games were postponed: TB/BAL, WAS/CHC, BOS/NYY, and ATL/PHI. There won’t be any shame in those games, though, because the chance of rain is 20% or less. Everyone’s up for grabs!
Doing Lines in Vegas (5-7 overall)
Short and sweet like an Ewok covered in cotton candy: over for COL/MIL (9) and under for CIN/SF (6.5)