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Ever had one of those years where everything that could conceivably go wrong, does? I can tell you all, 100 percent honesty, that this has never happened to me before, and much like Lindsay Lohan, I am feeling lost, lonely, and pretty damn confused about my embarrassing fall from grace. It all began when I was invited to participate in the #1 RCL league, which includes Grey, Rudy, and countless other fantasy legends (like not-Jay). I was beyond ecstatic at the opportunity to prove I was best in the business at this fantasy sh*t, and after the draft, there was no doubt in my mind I would compete for the title. My team seemingly had it all; A dynamic mix of power and speed, a wondrous collection of power arms who played for winning organizations, and unquestionably more upside than any other team. I had it all, baby!

As I now look at the standings and witness my team falling all the way to 11th place,  my dreams have been utterly demolished. Finally, an opportunity to play with the big dogs, and I totally disgrace myself. I feel like Christian Slater attempting to get into an A-list Hollywood party. The rejection is too much to bear, and I’m having thoughts about going back to doing solo porn jack-off videos. Let’s analyze the team that keeps me up at night. What went wrong? To me, this was a championship contending team, without question. It’s become a bottom feeding bum-fest, and I’m strongly considering throwing in the towel.

Shall we meet the team?

Beddict’s Disgraceful Players

Matt AdamsIf you had told me, Tehol Beddict, that Adams would be batting cleanup for the NL Champion Cardinals, playing everyday and hitting a robust .327 a month into the season, I would’ve thought I’d be dancing, singing, and praising the Elder Gods for influencing my decision to draft him in each and EVERY single league I’m involved in. Our biggest worry was that Adams wouldn’t play everyday, correct? This is our dream scenario! Wait, what? Billy Hamilton, possibly the most weakly player in all of Major League Baseball, is tied with Fatt Adams in jacks and has surpassed him in RBIs!? Yes, Adams has five RBIs. FIVE!! If someone could explain how it’s humanly possibly to hit a pathetic 5 RBIs while batting cleanup, all while hitting .327, your boy would greatly appreciate it. Fatt makes John Olerud look like Mark McGwire in his chemically enhanced prime. Is the weight loss to blame? Would Chris Farley (RIP) still have been legendarily hilarious if he weighed 200 LBs less? Would John Candy (RIP) been as delightful in hood classics like, Uncle Buck, The Great Outdoors and Canadian Bacon (just kidding) if he wasn’t extremely obese? Would we even know Melissa McCarthy existed if her weight wasn’t insanely out of hand? The answer to all these questions, my friends, is a resounding no. Farley would have been just as inconsequential as his toothpick brothers, Candy would probably have made it on Sitcoms, but not been a major film star, and McCarthy would be selling carnations off some desolate highway. Sometimes it’s just more beneficial to just be extremely overweight. Sure, it led to the deaths of Farley and Candy, but coupling obesity with mass quantities of pure Colombian cocaine is never good for one’s body or soul. I say it’s time that Adams starts wolfing down about 2 1/2 deep dish Chicago-style pizzas every night, right before he goes to sleep (that’s what makes you the fattest). He owes it to us. (Beddict’s note: Fatt just parked a 3-run homer after this was written. Have the Elder Gods answered my prayers or will he fade back into obscurity like Edward Norton after numerous poor movie choices?)

Evan LongoriaThe Devil Rays, as a whole, have been a disgrace thus far. Longo hasn’t been “terrible”, but he’s mos’ def’ not making the coveted “delight” section, so he’s got to be placed somewhere. 3 homers and 15 RBIs simply aren’t enough, and it’s costing myself and many others who spent a 2nd or 3rd round pick on him dearly. This guy should be like De Niro in his prime, instead he’s more like John Cusack, putting out watchable films but nothing that ever blows our minds. I still have faith, but I need a hot streak like Donald Sterling needs a new mistress.

Everth Cabrera4 steals!? E-Cab is batting lead-off and hitting nearly .300, yet only has a pathetic 10 runs and 4 steals to show for it? Part of the blame goes to the predictably disgraceful Padres lineup, but the lack of stolen bases is truly disheartening, causing me to want to reach for that bottle of NyQuil that sits upon my desk, so that I may drift into a dream world where this isn’t really happening to me.

Xander BogaertsShame on me for believing that Bogomil would quickly join the elite shortstop ranks, falling in directly behind Tulo and Han-Ram, and lead me to glory. With one bomb and 5 RBIs, Bogaerts fits perfectly on my pathetically inept roster. Only the Elder Gods know if this young ARUBIAN will quickly heat up and reward my decision to reach on him in the majority of my leagues. Or maybe Grey was correct in predicting his breakout wouldn’t occur until next season. Taking into account all the hot-garbage Grey has touched and turned into diamonds and gold in this league, has me leaning more towards the ladder. No, I didn’t misspell “latter”, in referring to the sentence previous to the last; I meant that I’m seriously considering climbing a 4-story ladder and triple-lindy’ing to the pavement, due to the ungodly underachieving of my entire team.

Jason HeywardEvery year I think to myself, “Beddict, this is the year Heyward hits 30-plus bombs and 100 RBIS along with 15 or so steals, and by the way, you are really, really, good looking.” Each and every single year, I want to lay my nuts on a dresser and bang them sh*t’s with a spiked bat! PUNISH ME, OH WISE ELDER GODS!!! PUNISH ME, FOR I HAVE FAILED YOU, YET AGAIN! Heyward is below the Mendoza line and has a paltry 2 home runs to go with it. Even a wizardly Co*ksmith (wordsmith?) like myself couldn’t possibly begin to put into words, the portrayal of immense agony and distress that the seemingly inept Heyward causes me and no doubt, countless others.

Domonic BrownI refuse to except the fact that Brown isn’t an elite baseball player. “Sir” Domonic was born to hit in the 3-hole, instead he’s hitting no higher than 6th and sometimes 7th, in a lineup filled with ancient has-beens. What, may I ask, are the Phillies actually trying to accomplish this season? After Lee and Hamels, their pitching staff is a tragic combination of bummery and ineptitude, and yes, I’m going to hit on this again, THEY ARE BATTING THEIR BEST PLAYER 6TH or 7TH EVERY EFing DAY!!!!! We are conversing about an All-Star who carried them last season. I feel like I’m snorting crazy pills. How about bumping Ryan Howard down? How about putting Rollins elsewhere, so the bottom section of your lineup card isn’t laughed at like every Pauly Shore comeback attempt? Brown simply has no protection in the order. Why would you give Brown anything to hit if you have Jayson Nix or Cody Asche hitting behind him? Ryne Sandberg should be reprimanded and publicly admonished for his disgraceful managerial skills. Why another team hasn’t swooped in to save Brown from his current hellacious situation astounds me. Other teams should be lining up to to steal this graceful beast, and I’m sure the Phillies could use another veteran presence in the lineup. There’ a solid chance that if Cleveland called today and offered Jason Giambi, Phillies management would bite, and honestly nothing would please me more. I am absolutely mortified with what’s going on here. ENOUGH!!!!!

Bryce HarperGods, please inform me I’m just hallucinating of the absinth and peyote, and that I didn’t really draft Harper in all but one of my fantasy leagues, as well as advise others to act in similar fashion…… If the rest of my team was performing anywhere close to their capabilities, an injury like this wouldn’t kill me……..buuuuuuuut, as you are witnessing, that just isn’t the case. While I usually enjoy bashing players in the disgrace section, this particular player/injury has left me so heartbroken, that I am for once, at a loss for words. I swear on my honor, I just shed a tear.

6a00d8341c562353ef01a3fcfd1907970b-500wiWhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?

David PriceMy plan was to draft Jose Fernandez a round or two earlier, but he was deftly plucked with the selection right before me, so I reached on Heyward or some other bum (I’m too scared to look it up). Still, I believed Price to be a decent number one starter and a possible Cy Young candidate. A 4.75 ERA is not quite what I was hoping for. Price has been routinely bent over like Miley Cyrus after a couple salvia bong rips, and I for one, am getting sick of it.

Matt MooreMoore was drafted to be my high-upside number four starter, and has since been lost for the year with a torn elbow ligament. I understand that most “experts” were down on Moore this season, but I’ll take him every day of the week and twice on Sunday as my four. Are you beginning to sense a pattern here? Yes, everything short of my genitals falling off has gone wrong for me this season, yet here I stand, determined to ascend back to the top of the rankings……. Who am I kidding? I’M FINISHED!!!!!!

Matt GarzaThis bum has since been removed from my roster, but I just thought he was worth a mention in the disgrace column. After taking a look back at Garza’s career, I’m puzzled as to why I ever believed he was even ownable in 12-team leagues. I suppose it could have been his sterling 2011 season, where he had a 2.95 ERA and 197 Ks, but those days are long gone. If my memory serves me correct, Garza was also the top pitching target at the trade deadline last season, so maybe that’s why I had it in my head he was an all-star caliber pitcher. Someone told me Garza was a star… that somebody lied.

Grant BalfourI’ve had multiple Rays fans step-up to me when I drop the hammer on Balfour on Twitter. The responses only come after the loud-mouthed Aussie, Harry Houdini’s his way out of a jam. Those responses where quickly deleted  for eternity when Balfour gave up a walk off grand slam to the Elder God chosen, Jose Abreu (I WOULD GIVE MY LEFT NUT FOR THIS GUY). [Ed. Note-- Who has two thumbs and Jose Abreu? This guy.] Though those were the first runs Balfour allowed all season, one can just tell when someone is extremely hittable, and Balfour is just that. When teams would rather sign Jim Johnson or insert Tommy Hunter, rather than go with you, I think it’s time to start looking for a new line of work. I’d recommend soft-core Cinemax porn, but frankly his monstrous Adams apple is a major turn off. Can you imagine trying to flog the dolphin to Balfour laying the wood? I wouldn’t be able to take my eyes off that throbbing bone, and yes I’m still talking about his Adams apple. Reminds me of THIS scene.

Josh FieldsBeing that Grey and Rudy swoop-up newly named closers faster than Leo DiCaprio switches out models, I was forced to insert this peon, and after he threw 5 scoreless innings with a decent amount of Ks, I felt maybe I’d struck fantasy gold. Okay, maybe not gold, but copper rather. Remember the aforementioned comment about Balfour getting lit up like a Christmas tree by Abreu? Well Fields second implosion in a row came on that very same day. You know, the one where he gave up 5 earned runs on 4 hits, without recording a single out? Balfour + Fields= The infamous #DoubleWhammy. I felt like I ran naked, backwards through a corn field at the conclusion of that particular day. Ahhhh, memories.

Other Disgraceful Things I Witnessed This Week:

Donald Sterling- What can I say that hasn’t already been said?! I still find it hard to believe a forced sale can come from a private conversation. I’m sure there’s many an owner or person of power who’s said deplorable things, things that would change everyone’s view point on them. The problem here is that everyone already knew what kind of man Sterling was and that’s the main reason he has almost ZERO support. I know that I, personally, have said things amongst friends or directed at people I despised, that if heard in the wrong context would make me look like an absolute scumbag (possibly even on these posts), so I think we should all take this moment in history, as a time to reflect on our behavior and what kind of people we are and what kind of people we want to be. I thought Sterling would fight this to the end, and he still might, but with seemingly the entire country against him, it may be in his best interests to simply walk away. Kind of feel bad for the old coot, considering the Clippers are probably the thing he loves most on this earth. [Ed Note-- Even though, you know, the team is like 70% African-American...] The fact is, many old, white people still have these viewpoints, and sadly we just have to wait for them to die out. Sad situation in general.

Let’s get positive!!!! This is obviously going to be extremely brief, being that it is that I’m in 11th place.

Beddict’s Delightful Players

Evan Gattis- You can’t ask for much more than what El Oso Blanco has done thus far. He seems to be sitting a tad more often than expected, but I’m guessing when Beej Upton’s average drops back below .180, Blanco will be seeing more time in the outfield. Gattis is one of the few men on my team to produce any kind of power numbers whatsoever, and for that, I thank him.

Giancarlo StantonThe Yardfather is my favorite player in all of baseball and has produced about what I expected thus far. Stanton was falling as far as the 3rd round in some fantasy drafts and that’s simply unacceptable drafting (Who am I to talk??!). The fact is, Stanton has superior power to anyone in baseball and if he’s given the chance to swing the bat, 40 plus homers is a guarantee. That ridiculous ball park will cost him a handful no doubt, along with the fact that he’s protected by two middle-aged, washed up bums, in Garrett Jones and Casey McGehee, but he shall overcome. Witness. P.S. If Stanton is ever traded to a team with a respectable lineup, he immediately become a top-5 overall pick.

Adam EatonI can’t begin to tell you how shocked I was when the Diamondbacks traded away this treasure. Oh wait, I wasn’t shocked whatsoever, considering this is the same team that disgracefully traded Max Scherzer for nothing, gave away Trevor Bauer for nothing a year after drafting him, and grabbed their ankles on the Justin Upton trade. Kirk Gibson wanted to mold this team after himself, and guess what? We have an absolute tragedy on our hands. I wouldn’t have traded Eaton straight up for Trumbo, let alone throw in Skaggs, who was also a big time prospect of theirs. I expected a few more steals out of Eaton, but other than that, he’s right on schedule in becoming an All-Star caliber player. Love this guy.

Rajai DavisIn owning Davis last year, I wondered why he didn’t play every day, for he produced seemingly every time he was inserted into the lineup. As per usual, Davis has been a cheap speed option (and a SAGNOF favorite of Mike‘s) and when you consider Billy Hamilton was going in the 4th round, that’s what we call value playas!!! Kudos if you drafted him late.

Greg HollandNothing to see here. Doing what he’s supposed to for one of the most boring teams in baseball. Couldn’t put him in the disgrace section for he hasn’t fallen apart like Nicholas Cage after he was forced to sell all his castles to pay off the IRS. Wish the Royals would win some more games though.

Gio GonzalezAnother guy on my roster doing about what I expected. I’m beginning to despise the Washington Nationals in general, but Gio always comes to play. He is what he is, and that’s a not terrible 2nd or 3rd starter.

Jeff SamardzijaRUN SUPPORT PLEASE!!!! How much longer can Cubs fans continue to support this pathetic franchise? Now, they’re talking about trading Smadge? You know, their only quality starting pitcher? I don’t care what anyone says, this man is an absolute beast. I fully expect him to continue pitching well and for his k’s per nine to rise as he loosens up. All-star talent here, no doubt.

Non-MLB Delights This Week:

The NBA Playoffs- Yes, I’m going to continue mentioning it until you start to watch. This has been the greatest first round in NBA history, as I’ve never witnessed so many down to the wire games. Can I be honest with you? I watch 1 million times more NBA than I watch baseball. I’m too A.D.D. to sit and watch an entire baseball game. I hardly watch the playoffs. I need action! Join the movement or get left behind. Donald Sterling probably loves baseball.

Rihanna nude shots- That nipple piercing tho. Those tan lines tho. Never thought she was THAT hot, but hey, anytime I get to see a celeb naked, I’m going for it. Jay said he’d fire me if I posted the link so just Google it.

I thank you for joining me for another week of Disgrace/Delight and make sure you tune back in next week as we go back to the Game of Thrones theme. This season has been the greatest television in our worlds history, and I can say that with confidence. No?  [Ed. Note-- Eh, started strong... but not much going on right now. Season three is still much better. There's time though.] Maybe you’re more into VEEP. Cute show, but seriously GOT is official like a referee whistle and you need to do whatever it takes to witness it.

 

 

As per usual, your questions and comments our greatly appreciated and will be responded to with the quickness. I’d also like to cordially invite you to follow my journey on Twitter at @TeholBeddict47. I’m starting a daily fantasy picks show soon from my home so feel free to throw your ideas to me on that as well. Have a fabulous weekend and don’t be racist!

  1. D Rich says:
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    I agree with you… Domonic isn’t having a great year yet but how can you when you bat one or two spots in front of the pitcher. Having Freddy Galvis for protection is like having Buser as your wing-man #allbad. I expect a big second half from Domo and another epic failure from the Buse!

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @D Rich: Tha Buse defines Epic Failure much in the same way Domonic does. They both make me want to cut my wrists and bleed out in a dirty highway rest stop bathroom. Did you know Highway rest stops are known homosexual hangouts?

      • D Rich says:
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        Yes, I learned that from Dumb and Dumber

        • Tehol Beddict

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @D Rich: Something about Mary, but both Farrelly brothers movies so I see your confusion. Kudos for bringing up another classic

          • D Rich says:
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            We got a bleeder!!

            • D Rich says:
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              What do you mean you got the beans above the frank?! haha

              • Tehol Beddict says:
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                @D Rich: jinx

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @D Rich: how do u get the beans above the frank?

          • D Rich says:
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            That’s right it’s from Something about Mary, “I was just peeing”

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @D Rich: I got to watch it now. Yea, I was just peeing too. Hahahahaha

  2. Moronymous Lohse says:
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    Damn. That’s a solid team to be in eleventh. I would have felt good leaving a draft with that squad too.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Moronymous Lohse: I know, right. It huuuuuuuuurts. Im finished

  3. Relsh says:
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    I’m in a H2H 12 team mixed league, and when you wrote that piece on Garza I felt like a kindred spirit.

    Should I drop him? He’s untradable and he’s killing my Reserves pitching stats which are relevant in my league for tie breakers.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Relsh: He’s totally droppable. I suppose I would keep an eye on him in case he turns it around. I’m sure he’ll have a decent run at some point but he’s been abysmal thus far and I’m done with it. At least I started Aaron Harang yesterday ……FML

  4. Alan says:
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    Beltran and Wright enough in return for J Up?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Alan: I suppose so depending on your needs. Solid haul

  5. Clint says:
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    I feel you on Adams/Longoria but as you said, Longo is okay, just not Rihanna with no tan lines perfect and Adams does appear to be turning it around at least temporarily. I was glad I could still snag him back in my 8 team h2h pts league after dropping earlier in the year. One guy I’d add to this list is Gyorko. Dude has been Ice Age cold so far in 2014 so let’s hope the birth of his young’uns propels him to a Rocky-like training montage & comeback now.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Clint: he HAS to turn it around at some point. Maybe time to throw out dreams of 30 homer season, tho. Maybe not even 20. I have Adams in every league so yea, I need some monster numbers

  6. shibboleth says:
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    Can’t stop laughing at the Heyward blurb. My coworkers are getting worried…

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @shibboleth: Glad to see enjoyment coming from such pain. Its like mushrooms growing out of shizz. beautiful world we live in

  7. gareth says:
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    I just traded Billy butler and Matt Joyce for xander bogearts.

    After reading your article I’m now very happy about the deal. You seem to have some kind of reverse recommendation skill working for you this year tehol. (Please can you also diss gyorko and granderson? )

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @gareth: I have no problem with that trade whatsoever considering tha Butla has been hot garbage too. Bogaerts will turn it around to some extent I’m sure. Just was hoping for something greater. I’m sure Gyorko will turn it around, tho I’ve never owned

      • gareth says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: so far after 2 games for me xander is 0 for 5 with 2 walks and no counting stats.

        I think the issue with him is that the power is not great. Neither is the speed. You just have to hope for good average and the occasional run and rbi. I mainly traded for him because I lost headley and kipnis and only had gyorko and alcides at my mi spots, with no third baseman. I do like that xander has the flexibillty of ss / 3b eligibility.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @gareth: I thought he had SOME POWER! I need more. Where r the Fing RBIS? I’m losing it

  8. Swfcdan says:
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    Fatt actually has 2 bombs now, but I hear ya brother!

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Swfcdan: I mentioned that at the end of his blurb. You obviously didn’t read all the way through and that makes me sad

  9. Just Make Pitch says:
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    I feel your pain as I have both Harper and Dominic on my team. Pujols and Trout performing like Gods is the only thing keeping my offense afloat thus far. I really hope Dominic can turn it around soon.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Just Make Pitch: I just how he’s in a position to fail. I pray he’s traded

  10. Teddy Heater says:
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    Pretty rough start for you, but check this out. I was the returning champ in my ESPN league and I’ve lost

    R Zimm
    Latos
    C Davis
    Trumbo
    Chapman
    Minor
    Pineda
    Cobb
    Segura

    It’s been a tough first month of the season and I’d like to introduce petition to”BRING BACK THE JUICE & THE GREENIES”

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Teddy Heater: YIKES!!! Thats all bad playa. I’ve never experienced this before and I don’t know what to do with myself. thanks for reading

      • Teddy Heater says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I am leading the league in transactions, but it’s only the first month these guys will start producing!

        • Tehol Beddict

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Teddy Heater: yea I’m also leading league in transactions, only making bad moves like starting Harang at Miami. OUCH

  11. The Duchess says:
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    Finally… You’ve been neglecting me all week.

    I’m sorry I wasn’t a more obedient follower and didn’t drop Vargas prior to this wk. I am through with him now but unfortunately all those possible SPs out there to replace him ie: your suggestion of Hutchinson, and the speculative Bauer/Stroman type are all rostered now and I’m left w likes of Keuchel, Ross, Koehler etc. I should have listened to you…but don’t worry u can still spank me later.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @The Duchess: baby baby, Bay-bay! I missed you last night, Er, I mean last week on my post. Guess you’re not a game of thrones fan. Thats not cool girl. Vargas sounds better than either of those bums haha. Ur def getting spanked. wear something hot

  12. Jumbo says:
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    15 team league and I managed to get Chris Davis, Jose Abreu and Belt. Looking to trade one for SP. Sell high on Abreu or try to move Davis? Targets?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Jumbo: I’m sold on Abreu but I would trade either one of them if you can get elite talent in return. trading Belt would have been best option but that time has probably passed. float it out there see what you can get

  13. ashtray says:
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    I’m carrying an 0-9 right now between Gordon and Pinto. Disgrace?

    Is the honeymoon completely over for Gordon or do you still see him as useful going forward?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @ashtray: He has to be useful at some point. The dream season scenarios for all these guys is out the window but a turnaround should mos def be in the cards. #DISGRACE

    • gareth says:
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      @ashtray: lol. I batty called pinto too. Theres always game 2!

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @gareth: 3 homers comin

  14. Sange76 says:
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    Asking around….
    12 team h2h points keeper league

    Trade offer in to me:
    His Matt Cain and either JJ Hardy or Alex Gordon ( either of my choice)for my Ian Desmond

    Already have Reyes and Bogaerts on my roster.
    Starting staff is Jose Fer, cole Hamels, Alex wood, Ian Kennedy and Garrett Richards.
    OF is Adam jones, hunter pence, and Allen Craig.

    Which deal is worth it if any?
    If it’s worth it to do the deal, which pitcher should I drop to make room for Cain?
    Thanks for the response.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Sange76: If you already have 2 short stops no need to take Hardy back. do you have a third basement or are you playing Bogs there? Id take gordon and Cain for him. I;m feeling your pitching staff and honestly richards and kennedy might be better than Cain. Thats a very tough call on who to drop but I’d probably hold kennedy over richards due to NL, but again, VERY tough call. Thanks for checking in

  15. Abdoozy says:
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    I feel your pain, man.

    Is Liriano droppable in a 12 team H2H redraft 6×6 (QS) for a streamer slot? Other SP: Teheran, Eovaldi, Simon, Chavez, Lynn, with Animal and Cobb on the DL (only one DL spot this league so Animal is eating a bench slot).

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Abdoozy: I wouldn’t drop Liriano the God. Hooooold em doozy

  16. Newleaf says:
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    You are 100% correct about Donald Sterling, and it’s nice to hear/read someone say it. The guy was having a private conversation, and while his racism was clearly depicted…it wasn’t all THAT bad. BUT, when it comes to issues of racism media and public figures absolutely have to show that they are completely appalled by this, because these issues are extremely sensitive. If any members of the media publicly took the angle that you did, they know they may be committing career suicide…so they all act like this is the most disgraceful thing they ever saw. However, many of the same media people took the ‘forgive and forget’ and ‘he paid his debt’ stance on Mike Vicks dog torturing. So ridiculous….and I applaud you for posting your true thoughts on this and not just joining the masses, all of who are just so “outraged” by these actions. I actually think the public outcry has been worse for this than Aaron Hernandez.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Newleaf: Thank you, Leaf. I’ve been scouring the Net for any kind of defense but there really isn’t any. Glad you enjoyed.

    • ashtray says:
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      @Newleaf: It’s pretty simple, really. The NBA would be nothing without the African-American community. His comments were sure to cost the team/NBA money. He’s got to go. It’s simple economics. ‘Murica.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @ashtray: truuuuuu

    • Carnac says:
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      His comments were terrible. But they’re not nearly as outrageous as his lengthy history of actual racist actions, e.g., housing discrimination.

      But I guess Al Capone went down for tax evasion, so there you have it.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Carnac: well said Carnac. Thanks for joining discussion

  17. Vottomatic says:
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    Carpenter or Myers?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Vottomatic: Myers, man. I feel a hot streak coming on real soon, Votto

  18. Sange76 says:
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    I may have gotten got skipped or my question just sucked….I’ll try it again
    12 team h2h points keeper league

    Trade offer in to me:
    His Matt Cain and either JJ Hardy or Alex Gordon ( either of my choice)for my Ian Desmond

    Already have Reyes and Bogaerts on my roster.
    Starting staff is Jose Fer, cole Hamels, Alex wood, Ian Kennedy and Garrett Richards.
    OF is Adam jones, hunter pence, and Allen Craig.

    Which deal is worth it if any?
    If it’s worth it to do the deal, which pitcher should I drop to make room for Cain?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Sange76: Who skipped you?!?!? I’ll have their head!!! Oh wait, I just answered it above buddy. LOL

    • Sange76 says:
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      Ha. Saw your response. Sorry for the repost! Tough call, right!
      Ugh, the stress of fake baseball!

      Thanks!

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Sange76: no problem. Yea very tough call. So who are u playing at 3rd?

        • Sange76 says:
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          Going between Bogaerts and Castellanos….3B is hard to come by these days, I’ve tried!
          Its a points league and Desmond’s strikeouts are killing me.
          I just flipped Shields for Cano back to a pitching desperate team since I’ve gotten pretty lucky with my staff so far…figured Cain could slide right into Shields spot, but my staff has been holding up well so…tough call …

          • Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Sange76: oh the good old points leagues. I back upon those days with great fondness. The ks r Def a killer. Castellanos eh? I suppose it could be worse

  19. Steve Stevenson says:
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    Christian Slater storytime! My old roommate managed a bar in NYC, a college-type faux dive. One night another roommate and I were in there sampling the brown liquor, and Slater was at the bar. Apparently he was a regular, and a friend of our roommate so we got to talking. Slater’s favorite conversation topics were our roommate’s fiancee, her various lovely parts, and whether we ever heard them making whoopee. A couple nights later he was arrested for grabbing a woman’s keister on the street outside the same bar.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Steve Stevenson: priceless and not surprising. Seems like a total sleaze ball. I need to do a full column on him and his career ASAP. Thanks for sharing

      • Bonghuetz says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I could write an entire dissertation on the genius that is KUFFS

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Hahahahaha

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Grey: Grey!!!! Tha God himself. His team is like nothing I’ve ever witnessed

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          It’s a hodgepodge of crap that has come together to be decent.

          • Tehol Beddict says:
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            @Grey: I’m obsessed with it. It keeps me up nights

      • kid A's father says:
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        the poor man’s jack nicholson is a god

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @kid A’s father: more like homeless man’s jack

    • Carnac says:
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      How dare you come ’round here and talk this total crap about the star of Gleaming the Cube.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Carnac: what about hard rain?

        • kid A's father says:
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          young guns 2? the wizard? you look foolish right now tehol

          • Tehol Beddict

            Tehol Beddict says:
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            @kid A’s father: Christian Slater was in the Wizard??!?! ur F ing kidding me Mr. A

  20. G Penny says:
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    Enjoyed your article!

    His Melky for my J-Hey trade in the works. Who would you want to have for the rest of the year?

    League uses OBP, Doubles, Triples, Runs, HRs, RBIs, SBs as categories.

    If this Melky thing is a fluke it sure is convincing, and if J-Hey is going to turn into god, it sure doesn’t seem to be happening yet, though he’s been ok. At the beginning of the year this trade would’ve been laughable. What now?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @G Penny: I have to take heyward in that trade. He can’t be this bad can he? Glad u enjoyed. Thanks for reading

  21. Scooter G says:
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    10 team h2h non keepr

    Hold onto Polanco for when he gets called up or drop him for underachievers J Gyorko or M Adams?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Scooter G: I’d grab Adams. Do u have no one else to drop?

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Carnac: thank you and yes that makes me feel a bit better about the situation

  22. Sange76 says:
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    I’m back. My buddy want to expand the deal a little

    12 team head to head points

    My Ian Desmond, cole Hamels and either Neil walker or nick castellanos for his Alex Gordon, Matt Cain and Martin prado.

    Again, Reyes at ss, bogaerts and castellanos at 3b

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Sange76: i don’t like that much better considering now you’re adding Hamels. Im not the biggest Prado guy tho

  23. OneI'dWilly says:
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    I feel ya brah!
    Here is my LAST PLACE team
    10 team points auction keeper
    C Lucroy
    1B Fielder
    2B Hill
    SS Miller
    3B Zimmerman
    CI Headley
    OF A Jones
    OF Choo
    OF Kemp
    OF Wil Myers
    UT Yelich
    UT Brantley
    BN K Davis

    SP Scherzer
    SP Strausburg
    SP Shields
    SP Ryu
    SP Tillman
    SP Baily
    SP Porcello
    RP Romo
    RP Rosenthal
    BN Kluber

    IR Profar
    ML Lindor
    ML Franco

    • OneI'dWilly says:
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      @OneI’dWilly: Got swisher and Moustakas off the wore to fill in for my IR CIs

      • Tehol Beddict

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @OneI’dWilly: Moooooooooooouse! I have him in my auction head to head as well. Sometimes I wonder why

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @OneI’dWilly: That pitching staff should eventually be filthy tho. Myers is killing me. Im about to give up on Headley. Jesus, what happened to him

    • Jacks says:
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      @OneI’dWilly: Have Fielder, Kemp, and Yelich as well. Bet you’re also sitting at the bottom of RBI table. Bogaerts is my sub for RZimm at third. Way underperforming in power stats. Not fun.

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Jacks: it huuuuuuuurts

  24. Lemmingness says:
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    Weekly H2H points league,

    Which two do you like best for ROS?
    Aoki, Prado, Ozuna, Eaton

    Thanks a bunch

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Lemmingness: Eaton is my boy!!!! just like you are lemming

  25. Chicken Dinner says:
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    Insults in your direction, Tehol! – signed Kid A

    • Chicken Dinner says:
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      @Chicken Dinner: HA!……..How’s that for timing!!!!

      • Kid A says:
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        @Chicken Dinner:

        Love it. I’ll buy you a…. steak dinner.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Kid A: Kid A, Sizzler doesnt count as a “steak dinner.” nor does that tube steak you gobble on the regular

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Kid A: I don’t get it

      • Julio White says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        I think he means your team is shit. What a dick.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Julio White: thanks Julio

          • Kid a's father says:
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            Jesus son… You are not funny at all. I blame you and erectile dysfunction equally for your mother leaving.

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Kid a’s father: both pretty disgraceful things

              • Kid a's father says:
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                Least there’s a pill for my problem. We should have ended this sad life in the womb before it became a felony

  26. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    Shall you join me on the fantasy cricket side of things? Maybe Nick will let us host a show.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @The Guru: thats a fascinating idea, oh wise one. I’d be overjoyed to join you in this endeavor. #GuruRadio

  27. Head Down says:
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    BRAVO!

    This is without a doubt the finest blog note you have ever delivered.

    I’m glad I didn’t miss it!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Head Down: What a nice compliment. Thank you Head.

  28. Goose says:
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    Do I stream one of the following (this weekend)L Jason Hammel, Josh Beckett, or Jordan Lyle

    Or do I pick up Marcus Stroman and see how far his eventual debut takes me?

    • Goose says:
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      @Goose: I should mention its a 12 team keeper 6×6 head to head category wins league, pitcher categories are W, K, ERA, WHIP, HR allowed, NSVH and I have 1 add left for the week.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Goose: after witnessing the Marlins demolish the Braves pitching I’m scared to recommend starting Beckett. The others don’t excite me. If the prognosticators are correct stroman should be up fairly soon. If you’re not desperate for a particular stat I wouldn’t recommend grabbing any of those guys

  29. Julio White says:
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    I saw you didn’t get your article linked again on fantasyrundownDOTcom but all the other writers did. What gives?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Julio White: ask him. he’s obviously just a hater. I don’t respect his movement

  30. Big League Choo says:
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    I wanted harper so badly earlier this season, i looked at one of the trade offers i sent and thank god it didnt get accepted..One of these years he’ll put together a full year and ridiculous numbers. I see him as a guy who will put up a line per 162 around .300 37/95/105/15…but man i hope he falls a little later in drafts next yr so i can get him in the 3rd…Espn needs to jump on some other persons Johnson so there wont be too much preseason hype on him.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Big League Choo: oh he’s dropping no doubt next year. Its too much too take . I just can’t believe this happened. I’m devastated

  31. jal1 says:
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    I’ve called a code brown on my squad too this season . My “Fourseam Facepalms” are somehow fledgling in the middleof the pack but give it a few weeks and I’ll sink to the basement like a 10 pound terd.
    C- Rosario
    1B- Prince the biggest dump of them all
    2B- Dee Gordon’s skinny ass somewhat saving me
    3B- Donaldson– a beast not worthy of staying on my garbage squad
    SS- Desmond
    CI- Freeman
    MI- Seger
    OF- Adam Jones… WTF dude?
    OF- Rios… you ca stay I guess
    OF- Beltran old balls
    OF- Pagan
    OF- Matt Joyce

    My pitching if keeping me alive but Madbum is giving me hemorrhoids so far.

    Prince washed up? Jones due for a regression season? Madbum gonna pull a Matt Cain this year? Will I finish 11th out of 10?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
      (link)

      @jal1: I was literally just having this convo with my friend who is a Prince owner also. I fully believe he will turn it around. Sure Jones will be fine tho I wrote article at beginning of year saying I wouldn’t draft him in first round. Bum will be fine I assume. team is truly not bad. i like it. we can do this!

      • jal179 says:
        (link)

        @Tehol Beddict:

        Beddict you calm me like a four finger Jack and Coke.

        Thx dude.

        With Teheran, Nate E, Gio, Sonny, Ventura, Krod I WILL SURVIVE!!

  32. Papajeansegura says:
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    I guess great minds think alike. I got Harper, Longo, Adams, and Holland as well. There’s no where to go but up right?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Papajeansegura: If you say so Papa Jean. I pray you’re correct. It’s so painful. Grey is metaphorically urinating on my face

  33. Big League Choo says:
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    This yrs been pretty rough with injuries so far, my main man segura finally gets moved back up to the no 2 spot only to get klobbered by braun…but just traded my Goldy/Holliday/Bailey for Cutch/Jose Abreu/E Santana and stashed Polanco and Stroman.

    C Castro
    1B Abreu
    2B Rendon
    3B Arenado
    SS Segura
    MI Gordon
    OF Cutch
    OF Bautista
    OF Choo
    Util Pinto
    BN Polanco

    P Wacha, Cole, Liriano, Fister, Gray, Kazmir, E Santana, Kluber, McHugh, Stroman

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Big League Choo: interesting trade. I like that team quite a bit. pitching staff a bit interesting but overall I like it.

      • Big League Choo says:
        (link)

        @Tehol Beddict: Our league is different, we dont do saves or Hrs….instead we have TBs/BBs/QS/L with a minimum of 8 Games Started so no relief pitchers. Its a 12 man H2H league, so i like my chances so long as most of my team doesnt go all josh hamilton on me.

  34. Greyismyhero says:
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    I definitely feel your pain T-man…As I look over all my leagues this morning all I see is GD DL symbols (averaging about 3 per league)…Now Cingrani off to DL….This year is getting out of control quick and pair that with underperformers such as Longo, Brown, Will MF Myers, Adam GD Jones, etc and it’s not fun!!!!! BTW I also have that fat piece of slop Adams on too many of my teams!!! Peace!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
      (link)

      @Greyismyhero: Adams will start to mash, I guarantee it……..I mean, I will think he will

  35. Zar says:
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    Whoo players I own make the list!! Stanton has been a hot one. And I traded out Longo for Joey Bats (I don’t own Dominic Brown…I swear I dont >>, I do ><). Do you think it's worth rostering Frieri? I can drop Buerhle, Matt Harrison, Josh Beckett, or Tim Lincecum. Are any of them worth dropping for Niese? Also, is Ryan Zimmerman a better DL stash than Profar?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
      (link)

      @Zar: owning Domonic has been torturous. I hate seeing him go through this rough patch in his life. It honest to the Gods hurts me. Frieri not really worth rostering at this point. think that jOe smith is pretty solid and Frieri is trash. not that beckett is a world beater at this stage but you get what I’m saying. Ryan Zimmerman is better dl stash if you want stats yea. If you desperate for a 2B id start to think about grabbing Jurickson

      • Zar says:
        (link)

        @Tehol Beddict: I’m holding Profar, and I’m stuck with Sandoval/Frazier. I think I might pick up Zimmerman to DL. My current 2B is Dozier.

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Zar: yea for show go zimm

  36. malamoney says:
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    Adam Jones?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @malamoney: slow starter….. I think

  37. malamoney says:
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    Trade Adam Jones for one of Verlander, Strasburg, Bumgarner, or Price in H2H points league that has a scoring system that favors pitching?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
      (link)

      @malamoney: strasburg playa. Strasburg

      • malamoney says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: You feeling strong about that play?

        • Tehol Beddict says:
          (link)

          @malamoney: Yea, no problem with it. Even if Jones turns it on, strasburg has immense points leagues favor those monster pitching performances and stras will provide those

  38. Joel says:
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    Hey man, I’m still platooning Heyward but I too am holding on to that hope of something big from him. He’s really the only player I am doing that with this season. Time for some of my other big boys to wake up. I’m in decent shape thus far.

    Team link: http://games.espn.go.com/flb/clubhouse?leagueId=142770&teamId=14&seasonId=2014

    oh Wise One! Who (if) would you drop to snag Doug Fister of the F.A?

    • Tehol Beddict says:
      (link)

      @Joel: joel, my friend, I wouldn’t drop anyone on that beautiful roster. No way

        • Joel says:
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          @joel:

          Teheran for D. Ortiz? Buysellatops says YES. Thoughts? Fills my vacant DH

          • Tehol Beddict

            Tehol Beddict says:
            (link)

            @Joel: I’m fine with that, sure

  39. Bi-Felicia says:
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    Don’t worry thole, it’s May 2nd. I was in the gutter 11th place last week. I just moved into 7th. There’s plenty of baseball left. Remember the guys ahead of you cant keep up the pace…The rabbit & the Hare. I lead one RCL for the first 3& half weeks. Now im in 4th. It’s all good baby baby!

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Bi-Felicia: thank you Felicia. I appreciate it

  40. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:
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    Tehol, don’t feel too bad, I have been making a fool of myself in the ECFBL for four years. Maybe both of us should just stick to writing. BTW, many of your disgraceful players have significant roles on my team.

    • Tehol Beddict

      Tehol Beddict says:
      (link)

      @Paulie Allnuts: thank you, Paulie. Our guys will turn it around, I’m sure

Comments are closed.