Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Freddie Freeman – 2-for-4, HR (15), 3 RBI. Sonuvabench! When you hope one of your players gets hurt so you can remove someone from the DL without dropping a player. “I’ll just make no waiver moves for the rest of the season until someone gets hurts…NBD” #RealLifeFantasyProblems
Charlie Morton – 6.0 IP, ER, 2 BB, 3 K, 6th win. Now holds a 3.82 ERA and 68/25 K/BB ratio in 11 games started. Excellent return for Charlie who was a huge surprise before hitting the DL and could be an excellent add going forward at just 30% owned and pitching for the Houston Mashtros. Speaking of surprises, I saw Baby Driver and highly recommend! I especially like how it makes me look cool as F for still carrying a 10 year old iPod.
Aaron Sanchez – 1.2 IP, 7 hits, 5 ER, 4 BB, 2 HR. Really Blue Jays? Sad team is sad. Perhaps if you started Sanchez off the DL against the Astros in this one you deserved this, but no one deserves this. Not even Canadians. He should be much better next time out, one hopes.
Troy Tulowitzki – 2-for-4, HR (6). Here’s a player Toronto really needs to heat up if they’re going to make any noise. He does have four of his six homers in the past week and is hitting .300. I’m not saying I’d buy low, but I’m happy for the guy!
George Springer – 4-for-5, 4 runs, 2 HR (27), 5 RBI. He’s got six homers in the past two weeks hitting .455 with 20 runs, 14 RBI and 2 steals! Yes. George has given me everything I’ve wanted from him and more (maybe a few more steals, bruh?). Springer was great, but Summerer has been even better!
Carlos Correa – 2-for-5, 2 runs, HR (18), 2 RBI. Extends his hitting streak to 15 games. Maaayun those ‘Stros are hotter than the new Jay-Z album. And trust me, the new Jay is flaaaaaame! How u gon’ do Beyonce like dat doe. When Blue Ivy hits the track and the album is officially liiiiit. The Astros are also officially lit, folks. You just can’t pitch to the Astros, they hit everything!
Kris Bryant – 4-for-5, 2 HR (18), 3 RBI. THE POWER OF KRIS COMPELS ME! THE POWER OF KRIS COMPELS ME!
Carlos Carrasco – 7.0 IP, 9 hits, 2 ER, BB, 11 K, 10th win. After a tough outing in Texas where he gave up 8 runs, Carrasco has rebounded in a big way in his past two starts, going 2-0 with 18 Ks and just 3 ER in 14 IP. The 1.08 WHIP and 114/27 K/BB also raise my eyebrow, Dwayne Johnson!
Francisco Lindor – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBI, SB (4). Waiting on Francisco to get hot like, dot, dot dot, I don’t know! But it’s time Lindo. Do it for Tito!
Dustin Pedroia – 2-for-5, 2 runs, HR (3), 2 RBI. Just a little Elven magic for all the kiddos out there who dream of being tiny baseball players someday.
Hanley Ramirez – 3-for-4, HR (13). HanRam has four homers, 10 runs, 8 RBI and is hitting .346 over the past two weeks. Doode is putting in work, and looks like he’s actually trying. It’s weird. Now might be the time to BUY while his owners still hate him.
Drew Pomeranz – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 5 BB, 6 K, 9th win. You my boy, Dwew! The control was off, but Pom still looked fairly strong. If Porcello can pitch half as good as he did last year, the Red Sox have got to have one of the best starting staffs in beisbol. Don’t worry, I can still complain though!
Craig Kimbrel – 1.0 IP, 3 K. Struck out the side. Even if it’s not a save opportunity–it’s still a Kimbrel.
Wil Myers – 3-for-4, SB (10). Oh, hey! Wil “I Passed the Other L to the Player on My Left” Myers. Nice of you to finally join us. Where have you been? We haven’t Overwatch’d in like, forever. Also, you led off last night. Is that what you’ve been missing–batting first? Whata glory hog. Get over yourself. Sheesh.
Austin Hedges – 2-for-3, 2 HR (13), 3 RBI. He’s a catcher. He hits home runs. He bats .220. Do with this information whatever you choose.
Cole Hamels – 7.2 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, BB, 6 K, 4th win. Cole was dealing last night. Deeeeeealing! He now has back-to-back quality starts after a clunker in Cleveland in his return from the DL. I made a few trade offers for him to feel out his value right now. Maybe you should do the same!?
Rougned Odor – 3-for-4, 2 runs, HR (17) , 2 RBI. Buy low? *dodges tomato* Three hits doe!
Nomar Mazara – 2-for-3, 3 runs, HR (12), 3 RBI. As a New Englander, I am required to have blind unrequited love for all players and persons named Nomar, but Mazara is going to make it easy. I predict a huge second half for Nomah! Notfornothing, the kid is due! Dunkin iced regulahs!
Manny Machado – 4-for-5, 2 HR (18), 4 RBI. Yeah bro, but you’re still batting .224. The four hits is certainly encouraging though. A couple more games like this and I’ll start camping out in your bushes again.
Jay Bruce – 3-for-5, HR (22), RBI. Bruuuuce! The 22 homers are expected but the .262/.332/.530 slash is all bonus gravy. Baby he was born to (home) run!
Jose Reyes – 2-for-3, 2 runs, HR (8). Hitting .389 with 2 homers in the past week. The mix of psychedelic drugs, alcohol, Bruce Springsteen, fireworks, general lack of sleep and hot dogs over the past few days makes me think this game may not have actually happened, but for Jose and Bruce’s sake I hope it did.
Paul DeJong – 3-for-4, HR (7). PD goes long with the Paul DeJong ding dong. He’s hitting .308 with 3 homers seven runs and seven RBI in the past two weeks as he’s taken over at shortstop for Aledmys Diaz. The 38/4 K/BB ratio is alarming and suggest that pretty .283 average could take a drastic dip but the power is real, folks. PDJ can mash, grab him if you need a middle infielder with some pop.
Charlie Blackmon – 3-for-4, 3 runs, HR (19). The Colorado offense really starts here. Get it? Because he leads off! Zing. I am here all week.
Nolan Arenado – 3-for-5, HR (16), 5 RBI. Hard to be disappointed with a player who’s batting .300 with 16 home runs but Nolan has been slightly disappointing for a top fiver, amiright? However, the Rox scored 12 runs on 17 hits, ie its summer at Coors and the beisbols go zoooom! If there was ever a buy low chance for Arenado, this might be it.
Ji-Man Choi – 1-for-3, 2-run HR (2). Grey told you to BUY! Maybe strictly a platoon player, but the Ji-Man has now homered in both games he’s started. Will he homer in every game he plays? Is he the next Aaron Judge? Should he be considered for Monday’s Derby? Probably yes to all three!
Zack Greinke – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, BB, 7 K, 11th win. It may be a bit premature for my mid season awards (patience loyal readers, coming soon!) But Zack certainly deserves the award for player no one expected to bounce back like this but totally bounced back like that. Hit it, Big Sean!
Nelson Cruz – 3-for-4, HR 16), 5 RBI. His 300th homer! Errytime! Nelly conducted his post game interview with a band-aid under one eye and told the world, “I am #1!” Then he dusted off his Air Furce Ones, flipped his bat and strutted off into the sunset.
Whit Merrifield – 0-for-3, SB (14). He’s got a rapist’s wit! ie six steals in the past week! Grey told you to BUY, if you give me your username and password I will do it for you! But don’t blame me if I trade all your best players for Andrew Benintendi. Don’t panic. Pretty sure I know what I’m doing.
Dan Straily – 8.1 IP, 4 hits, ER, 3 K, 7th win. Almost had himself a complete game shut out but gave up a home run to Denard Span in the ninth so Miami pulled him. Dan has four quality starts in his last five with three wins in that stretch. Marlins baseball! Get hooked!
Aaron Judge – 1-for-3, HR (30). 30 bombs! Third straight game with a homer for Your Honor. As in, your honor to own him. Last night, he broke Joe DiMaggio’s record and tied Mark McGwire’s but Judge ain’t got time for them sorry old jokers. There are so many more records left to break and he just got here.
Jesus Aguilar – 3-for-4, 2 HR (9), 7 RBI. Oh hey, Jesus. Nice game, guy! Praise him! But let’s talk about Judge some more. Judge v. Giancarlo in the home run derby? Mmmm. R U Kidding!? What are, ways to get me to watch a boring HR Derby. I’ll be watching alone, by candlelight, with incense burning at both ends and Judge and Stanton mashing filthy bombs into the seats. I’ve had several dreams that start this way.
Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-5, HR (24), 2 RBI. Oh hey, Giancarlo. I am looking forward to the derby Monday, Champ. I’m not sure I mentioned it but according to some it’s all I’ve been talking about for the past two weeks. Did you get my edible arrangement? You’re not returning my calls. I could always find another player to send poems and viles of my blood to, I don’t appreciate being ignored. In fact, I’m going to pick Cody Bellinger for the win, just to be contrarian! (It’s called playing hard to get.)
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!