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Unlike McCarthy-era Hollywood, the Diamondbacks seem to put everyone on their blacklist except Trumbo (see Bauer, Scherzer, Eaton, Skaggs, Upton).  Remember when they traded Reynolds and J-Up because they hated being the Diamondhacks?  It’s back (sad Trumbo).  BTW, Scherzer, Bauer and Skaggs:  the hypothetical law firm where Alan Dershowitz would feel least comfortable.  Then again, he represented that Claus Von Bulow guy.   I wonder if Kevin Towers would’ve been torn if Mark Trumbo had the name Mark Trumboschnitzel.  Probably.  I’m not sure what Kevin Towers hates more, Krauts or pitching prospects.  I think it’s still too early to evaluate the Didi Gregorious-Trevor Bauer trade and a year has past since then, so it’s way too early to dissect the Trumbo, Skaggs and Eaton dealings for real baseball, which is fine since we only care about fantasy implications.  Mark Trumbo in Arizona is a plus for him.  In the city of Los Angeles That’s Not Really Los Angeles of Anaheim, the Sciosciapath would bench Trumbo if he farted in the wrong direction.  “Did you just fart north by northeast?  Hit the pine, meat!”  That’s the Sciosciapath.  Also, Trumbo moves to a better park.  He’s still never going to win a batting title, but Michael Cuddyer won last year’s NL batting title and no one even cared, so do we care?  No, no we don’t.  Trumbo goes to a relatively similar lineup, perhaps a tad lighter, but not enough to factor in.  Trumbo would be a thirty homer guy in Petco, and in Arizona he could reach 35+ homers.  For 2014, I’ll give him the line of 74/33/89/.244/5.  Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves and what they mean for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Tyler Skaggs – Going to the Angels and likely right into the rotation.  Skaggs doesn’t have Cy Young upside, but he won’t play second fiddle to anyone, not even Steve Miller.  Now that Skaggs has a big ol’ jet airliner taking him to a more pitcher-friendly park there’s a chance for some upside here.  His fastball is only 89+ MPH, so there’s no expectation that he’ll be a 9+ K guy.  He reminds me of another Diamondback prospect that also is no longer in the Diamondbacks organization — Jarrod Parker.  Parker is three years older than Skaggs, so the comparison isn’t quite there.  Then again, Parker was in the AL…Then again again, the A’s play in a pitchers’ park and the Diamondbacks don’t.  Then again again again, Skaggs is moving to an AL pitchers’ park.  Then again again again again Parker only had a 3.97 ERA last year.  Then again aga– Well, Skaggs will probably be around a 4.00 ERA guy with slightly above-average Ks.  That’s solid for an AL-Only pitcher, but just a flyer for most mixed leagues.  For 2014, I’ll give him the line of 9-7/4.05/1.34/142.

Hector Santiago – Also going to the Angels and into the rotation.  I nearly wrote a sleeper post about him, but this will give me an opportunity to talk on him and maybe later in the spring I’ll highlight him again.  Now how backpack rap is that?  No idea, but that song is up to about 175 on my iTunes play count.  Santiago’s walks are too out of control (literally) for him to really make a huge impact in mixed leagues.  Hector usually can’t come within 10,000 square meters of the strike zone.  Last year, his K-rate was 8.28 with a 4.35 walk rate.  If only Skaggs had his fastball and Santiago had his control…  *wavy lines signifying a dream sequence*  Hector Santiago and Tyler Skaggs were one and two for the Cy Young and my Cougar said we should ask Jessica Alba if she wants to join us for a threesome.  *wavy lines ending my dream sequence*  Whoa, that was amazing.  For 2014, I’ll give Santiago the line of 11-10/3.92/1.38/158.  Will also be more of a flyer for mixed leagues, but has better upside than Skaggs, but a lot more downside too.

Adam Eaton – The final piece of the trade goes to the White Sox.  Eaton gets a nice boost in value too as he becomes the White Sox’s centerfielder and De Aza and Viciedo fall into a platoon, which sucks for them.  Too bad, so sad.  One of the surplus outfielders might still be traded.  Why’d the White Sox trade for a guy that will only hopefully give them what De Aza was already doing?  I don’t have a clue.  Maybe they wanted to mix it up.  It’s like when I’m enjoying my peach-flavored Sodastream seltzer and then I decide to drip some of my peach-flavored nicotine juice that’s meant for my vaporizer into my seltzer and I feel like I’m gonna get a heart attack from the overload of wonderful.  That’s probably why.  Or they’re just stupid.  For 2014, I’ll give Eaton the line of 78/8/59/.268/21.

Rajai Davis – Headed to the Tigers.  Signed on to spell some of the Tigers outfielders.  Don’t forget Torii has two I’s!  For 2014, I’ll give him the line of 59/4/28/.266/39.

Brett Anderson – Headed to the Rockies for Drew Pomeranz and Chris Jensen.  Pomeranz was hit so hard in Colorado, multiple times PETA was called in.  Do we care about Pomeranz?  Maybe if you’re related to him.  Hey, Stew Pomeranz, thanks for reading!  We don’t really care about Brett Anderson either now that he’s going to be floating to the park in the thin air of Colorado.  I wonder if there’s fewer hernias in Colorado because of the thin air.  I mean, how many times have you heard of someone getting a hernia on the moon?  Zero times, right?  See?

  1. Abe Vigoda says:
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    What does this mean for AJ the Pollock in AZ?

    • PublicEnemy#1 says:
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      @Abe Vigoda: Would like Grey’s take on this as well. I personally think it elevates him into the .280/85/10/60/20 range with upside for a little more. Aoki, CCrawford, AJackson, and Fowler would seem like a player pool he has a chance to join and he should come slightly cheaper than everyone in that group.

    • ashtray says:
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      @Abe Vigoda: I read that Trumbo would be in the outfield. Wouldn’t that mean Pollock role remains same or no?

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @ashtray: Outfield right now is Trumbo, Ross and Parra

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Abe Vigoda: Diamondbacks are still players this offseason with moves to possibly to do, but right now Pollock is a platoon guy at best…

  2. Chicago Mark says:
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    Hey Grey,
    What do you sey……
    I have input if I mey…..
    Ok, I haven’t a clue. But Trumbo did hit 34 playing 1/2 his games in LAAofA Stadium last year. Don’t you think he could reasonably reach maybe 40?
    BTW, it is spelled fortey!
    Chicago Mark

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Chicago Mark: Ha… Yeah, he could reach fortey, but I’m not willing to project him that high… He’ll miss Arlington and Houston and get Dodgers and Padres… Coors will offset it a little but new pitchers and whatnot… 40’s no guarantee…

  3. zombie says:
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    Howdy Grey. Goldschmidt now with has some protection. One could forecast a slight boost for him; no? & is he long gone before the back end of a twelve teamer? Thanks. Happy, healthy, wedded holiday.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @zombie: Thanks! A slight boost sure, I’d take exactly what he just did plus a little average…

  4. costaricanchata says:
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    ” … my Cougar said we should ask Jessica Alba if she wants to join us for a threesome. ”

    too lazy to google jessica alba , (and too old to care ?) , but shouldn’t the cougs have
    asked jessica directly ??
    cust .
    whatevs , it’s your dream .
    just think you should “reach” for the stars .
    fwiw , what’s jessica’s adp ???

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @costaricanchata: Interesting analysis… Maybe it’s because I want to be the man and have my Cougar approach me about approaching Jessica… I’ll ask my shrink…

  5. Thorbs says:
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    Thoughts on Skaggs in a dynasty league? Is he keepable in a 12-teamer with 3.50 ERA, 175K upside?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Thorbs: Sure, that upside is there… It’s not very possible for this year though… Maybe 10% chance of it happening…

  6. juhgeyed says:
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    $31 McCutchen or $22 Encarnacion?

  7. Wake Up says:
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    Kenny Williams must be reading your Eaton sleeper posts…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wake Up: Well, yeah, why wouldn’t he?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Wake Up: while listening to Kenny G playing nuthing but a G thing

  8. Wake Up says:
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    In my Alba menage dream sequence, the other guy’s balls kept getting in the way…it was my dream…I got problems…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wake Up: I sure hope we weren’t accidentally in each other’s dream…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: Is it possible to cross swords in the same dream?

        I had a threeway dream once with Alba, but she was with Bea Arthur and Bobby Cox and I was tied to a chair and forced to watch

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Was Bea Arthur rocking back and forth like Leo Mazzone?

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: she had a strap on and had jessica in the wheelbarrel

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Okay, way too much info… ha…

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Grey: my dream brain is a real sick f**k

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Yeah, dream brain’s got some issues…

      • Wake Up says:
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        @Grey: Upon further review…it was Dombrowski’s balls and they were getting in Kenny William’s way…and it wasn’t actually Alba either…it was De Aza…and it wasn’t a dream…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          You sure it wasn’t DeWayne Wise? He’s great with deep balls…

          • Wake Up says:
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            @Grey: Nice! Perfect even!

  9. Dynamite reading. Grey, who please is the one player to keep from this group?:

    Dayan Viciedo, Peter Bourjos, or Chris Carter?

    Thanks.

  10. Bodacious Taters says:
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    Gyorko at $1 or Scherzer at $24 ?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Scherzer

    • OaktownSteve says:
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      @Bodacious Taters:

      Gyorko could be the reasonable hold there depending on format. Pitching so deep and MI with 25+ power so few and far between.

  11. ReleasetheMcCracken says:
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    Speaking of trading center fielders…Kemp for Brantley/Fister?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d want Kemp

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I love Between Two Ferns… Watch every episode twice…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: I do too, but I’m not getting what needs to be done done. In season it keeps me from rosterbating but in the offseason I have meaningful work to be done

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          If you like Zach, I think you’d like the campaign movie with Will Ferrell…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: Seen it like 3 times already, great stuff. His voice and the relationship with the dogs is great. When Ferrel does his wife is the best

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Ha…Yeah, feel like it came and went so I had my doubts but was pleasantly surprised…

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Great idea… And a mustache on my front car grill like all of these pink ones I see around town…

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: thats pushing it, but you can do Giancarlos on the passenger side

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Rawr!

  12. quimmy says:
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    Trumbo in Arz = M.Reynolds in Arz?

    • quimmy says:
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      @quimmy: In mathematical terms:
      (Trumbo x Arizona) – (M.Reynolds x Arizona) = Y where Y is New Member of Donkey Club?

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Ha, perfect…

  13. SteveNZ says:
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    Seattle sign Corey Hart and swap Capps for LoMo (it says here)…

    • Carnac says:
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      Once they sign Vlad Guerrero their OF will be complete.

      • Carnac says:
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        Seattle Has No OF Kneeds

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @Carnac: HA!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Oh yeah…

      • SteveNZ says:
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        @Grey: @Carnac: I’m not a trade evaluator’s shoelace, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see trades like this turn out to be more valuable to the Mariners than the Cano deal.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          At least they’re short deals… Worst case scenario, they’re not done with them soon…

          • SteveNZ says:
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            @Grey: True. Pomeranz to be a reliever for the A’s apparently. He’ll be good I imagine. Like they all seem to be…

            Also – just finished American Rust. Read it?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Never even heard of it…Good?

  14. Worm Turner says:
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    Heya Grey,

    Having a bit of an IF keeper quandary, lots of youth, cant keep them all, your advice?
    12 tm H2H/ ESPN linear weights pts/ $260 auction, keep 10- +$4 per yr contract after 2nd year. Positions are C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, LF, CF, RF, U.

    I’m looking to have 2B, 3B, and SS covered before the draft, may gamble on 1B.
    Keeping 4 SP, Stanton, and Harper = $73 out of my $260.
    CF, poss 1B, and C will be what I need to get in the draft.

    Need to pick 4 from these guys:

    1B Votto @ $44 (w/ 1 yr contract +$40)
    1B Adams @ $1
    2B Kipnis @ $13 (w/ 2 yr contract +$5 )
    2B Profar @ $13 (w/ 2 yr contract +$5)
    3B Machado @ $16 (w/ 3yr contract +$4)
    3B/SS Bogaerts @ $1
    SS Segura @ $3

    All opinions are welcome.
    Thanks Grey!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Kipnis, Segura, Adams, Bogaerts

      • Worm Turner says:
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        @Grey: Thanks for the reply.
        Is it the $/yr amount for Machado you don’t like, or are you worried about his knee?
        His base pay is $4, I was adding a 3 yr contract for $12 to make $16.

        The 50 2B’s really make me want to hold on to see if he adds power when his body fills out.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Worried about his knee and you have suitable replacements to avoid the risk… I’d keep him for $4 though…

  15. Andrew A says:
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    Who do you like better in 2014 and who do you like better for the next years: Griffin or Straily?

    • Andrew A says:
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      @Andrew A:

      next 4 years*

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Griffin for both

  16. Gray or Grey? says:
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    pick 2 of 3 for a keeper: Gyorko, Wong, and Rosenthal

    I just don’t see Wong’s potential to be great fantasy wise…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Not Rosenthal…

      • Gray or Grey? says:
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        @Grey: why? he’ll be closing…

        • Funke says:
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          @Gray or Grey?: you must be thinking of your lawyer. – The “Trevor” is a $12 salad with bacon bits and a dozen 6/8 count shrimp.

          • Funke says:
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            @Funke: – crap that was meant for the original Grey Shady

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Why not?

  17. Kid A says:
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    Hoping Clause 1 of the Mets Bartolol contract states that he must jog his fat ass to Queens. For his sake and theirs. Either he de-spheres or drops dead. Win-Win.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      De-spheres — ha!

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: I need to de-sphere myself, really been packing on the winter weight since August

        • Kid A says:
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          @J-FOH:

          But you’ve been shedding so many teams from playoff contention in your football leagues…

          Doesn’t that burn calories?

          Taking the championship from you in your own league makes me feel dirty.

          Like fantastically glorious filth.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Kid A: lots of stress eating with fantasy teams, making deadlines and the baby’s mama has been working from home the last 6 months and I get zero time for porn

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I lost ten pounds for the wedding and gained it back in the first six days of the honeymoon…

  18. SteveNZ says:
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    2 years, 20 mill for Colon. Cheating pays.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      And being overweight…Baseball, what a game!

  19. Gareth says:
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    Ruben Amaro Junior wants rid of his expensive closer:

    The Phillies are “selling the crap out of [Papelbon],” one executive told Jim Salisbury of CSN Philly. The Phillies are willing to pay some of Papelbon’s salary to facilitate a trade, according to Salisbury. One source told Salisbury that the Phillies approached the Indians and offered to pay part of Papelbon’s salary, but the Indians weren’t interested.

    Good. After the Chris Perez debacle, the last thing we need is an obnoxious and expensive Closer.

  20. Public Enemy#1 says:
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    Volquez as a Pirate is interesting. It’s probably as long a shot as any, but the K/BB rate improvements made by Burnett and Liriano in black and yellow sure make you wonder what might become of Volquez in 2014. I’m sure the advice will generally be to stay away, but in the deepest of leagues, he might be worth it as a wild card…no pun.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, and in most leagues you can just add him off waivers if he actually shows anything in April…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha… Mike Mulder…

  21. J-FOH says:
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    Snarkcasm, my new favorite Portmanteau

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      That is good…

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