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I wish there was some kind of baseball pun that could tie into PANAMA!, but I think it’s good enough to stand on its own. I don’t particularly like Van Halen, and for the better part of my childhood I thought he was yelling ANIMAL!, which still may be possible. But one thing’s for sure, for those of you who experienced the 80’s, this song is stuck in the very fabric of our DNA, our very soul. There are just some things that do that. Like the Airwolf theme. It’ll always be in my life. Not just because its my ringtone, but because it has embedded itself into the core of my being. Simply put, it’s a sentimental marker that my mind uses to spark love and happiness. Just like how PANAMA! is. And waffles. Blow-jobs, and so forth. You know what doesn’t get stuck to our fabrics? The names I’m about to talk about. WHY DO I PLAY IN DEEP LEAGUES? So much pain…

Recently activated from the 60-day DL, Tony Abreu is a good MI bench option, both in the Major Leagues and your deep fantasy leagues. He won’t offer much power, but the rate stats won’t be a burden, and there will be a sprinkling of steals. So far in 28 at-bats, he’s put up a triple slash of 286/355/429. Not too shabby.

Former top-10 prospect of the Detroit Tigers, Alfredo Figaro has spent the last two years in Japan where he put up a decent 3.31 ERA and 1.29 WHIP. It’s nothing spectacular, especially considering the environment, but signed by Milwaukee, there has been an uptick in velocity. He used to be more of a 90-93 MPH guy, but now is average around 95 MPH on his fastball. This could be an intriguing buy-low, as he still very much under the radar. Used primarily as a reliever, some spot starts are going his way, and so far, in 51 innings, he has a respectable 3.88 ERA with 40 k’s. He’s giving up more homeruns than you would like, but if he continues to get starts, Figaro could turn out to be what Marco Estrada was supposed to be. He’s worth a speculative add now in all deep leagues if you have the space.

How the mighty have fallen. Once All-Star and bearer of an above average mustache, Brad Hawpe has been all but irrelevant the past four years. That necessarily won’t change, but he did just get promoted from Triple-A to the Major League roster for the Angels of Anaheim in the greater Los Angeles area of Orange county in California, which is, of course, their unabridged name. There might be some power potential if given enough at-bats, but I really don’t see much happening here. Stranger things have happened, so try to keep an eye on playing time.

So Ed Lucas, how are we doing? Good? That’s strange, because no one has ever heard of you until now. In fact, I’m pretty sure no one has ever written about you until now. I’m not sure if that reflects more poorly on you or me. The 31-year old rookie, yes, I know he’s old, actually has been holding his own in limited time. Sure, his slugging percentage is only 30 points above his .271 batting average, but the walk rate seems for real, which might help you as a short term fix in OBP leagues. As long as Placido Polanco remains fragile, Lucas will get starts.

 

Jaywrong is a 30-year old Korish writer who finds solace using Makers Mark as a vehicle to impress average-looking women, and also has an affinity for making Jennifer Lawrence GIFs. You can follow him @jaywrong, read his blog Desultory Thoughts of a Longfellow, or, you can find his GIFs at his tumblr, named Siuijeonseo.

 

 

From Around The Web

  1. Tehol Beddict

    Tehol Beddict says:
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    Ahhhhh, Panama. The only place on earth that I’ve both modeled nude and killed a man. Gorgeous place

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: that’s sounds like a normal Monday for you.

  2. Jason says:
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    How about Moustakas for deep impact…? Ownership is sub 50%, but there seems to be some daylight for him as of late. rbi 2b today so far

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Jason: He is most likely owned in all deep dynasty leagues. I usually talk about guys with sub 10% ownership rates, if that.

  3. Dan Pants

    Dan Pants says:
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    How about: With Free Agent Options Like These, Might As Well Jump

    JUMP!

    1984 was one of the best rock albums of the 80’s! I still have the cassette in my 1987 toyota tercel

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Dan Pants: true dat.

  4. subs81 says:
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    WHICH TRADE IS BETTER FOR ME (6×6 OBP & K/9 )
    ·Altuve, Jose
    ·Kershaw, Clayton (keeper)
    ·Belt, Brandon
    ·Gonzalez, Carlos (keeper)
    I GIVE UP
    ·Walker, Neil
    ·Trout, Mike (keeper)
    ·Segura, Jean (keeper)
    ·Phelps, David

    OR a straight Segura for Scherzer

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @subs81: trout side.

  5. Jiggy Nits says:
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    Jay I need your help! Big trade offer on the table. I am currently in first place.

    His Freddie Freeman (1$) & Jordan Zimmerman (3$) for my Carlos Gonzalez (42) and Rex Brothers (10). 5×5 ROTO NL only keeper league with BB instead of R. Freeman and Zimmerman are both in last year of keeper status and cannot be kept next year, but I have a lot of high salary players and I am having trouble setting my lineup. I am leading every hitting category except average (2nd) and all pitching categories except second in K’s and second last in saves. I have Raf Betancourt on the DL.

    Is this the right deal to move CarGo?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Jiggy Nits: I think its a good deal for you, yeah. Those are good keeper prices, and they’ll help you this year.

      • Jiggy Nits says:
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        @jaywrong: Neither zimmerman or freeman can be kept after this year. I would be doing the deal for some cap room, I’m pretty close to maxed, and to win this year.

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @Jiggy Nits: I see, I misread that. If you need the cap, its still a good deal.

          • Jiggy Nits says:
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            @jaywrong: Thanks buddy, appreciate the time you take here and on reddit to help us out!

            • Jay

              jaywrong says:
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              @Jiggy Nits: Never a problem. And I love the /r/fantasybaseball community. Great Mod too.

  6. Alex says:
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    Rosario n Marte n Segura n lee for cargo n Rollins n Skaggs n wacha? Which side do ya pick? It’s a 14 team keeper league, we have 25 on roster but we keep 12

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Alex: the Marte side.

  7. MB says:
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    Hola, 7×7 with obp, slg

    Few things I need help with

    Think its time to drop blanks — do I go Belt, leonys, kubel

    Prado sucks as my SS. Do I go with cozart, aviles or rutledge until he turns it around?

    Thanks

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @MB: I’m leaning Belt and Rutty.

  8. JoeG says:
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    When will Erasmo Ramirez get called up ? And will he be helpful? Deep mixed daily roto.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @JoeG: I feel like real soon. Maybe within a month. I like him in deep leagues. Great environment with some k potential.

  9. T Moore says:
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    Mr Jay Wrong: I think, we’re going to have to do something about your billing – meaning = how you are listed on this website..

    You deserve more respect!

    Your name should be up in lights on this website!!!

    The “Jay Wrong Razzball FFB Website” ??? No, that sounds all wrong… HAHAHAHHA….. sorry

    What about the RazzBall logo on the top left having “Staring JAYWRONG” slashed across it at an angle… Not really getting lathered up about that idea either…

    It’s just not enough… It needs to reach out a grab, ya…

    You deserve to be the focus up there, Sir

    Hmmmm????? ….. ?????????????

    Ok, shift the Razzball logo and over an by an 1′ and half.. Then put there

    STARING
    Photo in between
    JAYWRONG

    Getting warmer here… But, we need some bigger… Something with that “GOTCHA” zing to it…

    Let’s go a little further here .. Shift all the top over by 1/2 of the page and have a full half page block out there on the top left..

    I’m feeling it, now… Yeah……. O’ YEAH BABY!!!… This will knock them dead!!!

    WOoooaaaAHHH YYEEEESSS!!!

    Perfecto-reno!!!..

    Sir, Imagine the home page… You have just logged on… SLAM BAM!!! Right there in front of you…

    We go with a 20s/30’s movie “Hollywood rococo palace” theater marquee motif There will be multiple search light beams crisscrossing the marquee ..With gargoyles and Grecian statuary all over the place… And baseball themed reliefs in the theaters towering facade… The marquee will have chasing and blinking colored lights too.. The whole enchilada… Top hats and tails… Yeah!!!

    Right up there in the top billing goes

    STARING – JAYWRONG
    “Photo below”

    And in much smaller letters we can list.. Rudi and Gray and some of the other lesser touts on here below.. (((Do we really even have to put them on there??? Need to think about that..))

    Then just as you finish reading the marquee

    We give them the piece de resistance

    A giant pop up window of… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s62MrU8mHx4

    “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” by Ethel Merman… The staging is perfect… I think, we’ll use it..

    We’ll dub over the announcer’s, ” Ladies and Gentleman Miss Ethel Merman”, intro with your name…

    To save time and money, we will photo shop your face over Ethel’s.. You’ll look great in the Welch’s grape juice purple gown she’s wearing..

    If you think you can’t handle the singing, we’ll just go with her voice… Don’t feel bad…Hey, Natalie Wood didn’t sing in “WestSide” Story… Nor did Audrie Hepburn in “My Fair Lady”.. Nor did Deborah Kerr in “The King And I”… It not your job .. Alway!!! Always remember, you’re the star of the show, Me Jay Wrong !!!

    What do you think!?!?! Something huh????

    Do you like it???

    • Hank says:
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      @T Moore: can I have what you’re having?

      • Jay

        jaywrong says:
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        @Hank: Trust me, we all want what he’s having.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @T Moore: I support this idea. I’d prefer there be multiple + signs in there, somewhere, and possibly float the idea of having the marquee placed on Grey’s mustache.

      The purple will go with my eyes, no doubt.

      I don’t like it. I love it.

  10. T Moore says:
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    **** Always **** Mr errors at end

  11. hmmm says:
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    ev cab, wil myers, james sheilds, gerrit cole or segura, heyward, casey janson

    which side do you pick?

    • hmmm says:
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      @hmmm: is it a much better deal if fielder takes the place of heyward?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @hmmm: It’s pretty even for me. I’m going to lean to the Sheilds side. If its a keeper.

      If you sub in Prince, I like that side, but mostly on redraft terms.

      • T Moore says:
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        @jaywrong:

        Mr JayWrong: Thank you..

        You are right as usual… More is always better in Show Business.. And what is RazzBall – if it is not Show Business??

        I do think the song pop up is crucial..

        The intro of your song will first grab them and then mesmerize them…

        I’m visualizing you belting it now…

        I had a dream,
        a dream about you, baby.
        It’s gonna come true, baby.
        They think that we’re through, but baby..

        Right before you NAIL”m and WOW’m with the up beat to

        You’ll be swell!
        You’ll be great!
        Gonna have the whole world on the plate!
        Starting here,
        starting now,
        honey, everything’s coming up roses!

        They will sprawled in front of their computers like spilled Jello after that…

        Then you will simply liquefy them with the coda…

        Honey, everything’s coming up roses and daffodils!
        Everything’s coming up sunshine and Santa Claus!
        Everything’s gonna be bright lights and lollipops!
        Everything’s coming up roses for me and for you!

        I’m not sure JayWrong and this wedsite will be able to be confined to FBB alone after this is released on the public..

        I see you touring, Letterman/Daily shows, packed engagements across the land and along with a series of motivational DVDs and CDs..

        This will change peoples lives..

        Not mention bringing back the deserving Ethel Merman

        You will become the Brahma of FBB and the master of so much more far beyond it…

        There will be no stopping you now, Mr. Jay Wrong

        • T Moore says:
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          @T Moore:

          Sorry , that should have been a reply to the above

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @T Moore: I’ve printed this out and framed it.

          Wonderful.

  12. Dr Chym says:
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    Weird…. I thought it was ANIMAL until a few years ago, as well. A friend finally corrected me and I felt like a fool. How could I not know the chorus to one of the most famous songs of all time? The answer is the Muppets. Another friend told me that back when that song became famous, they ran a parody of that song with Animal on the drums and the chorus was ANIMAL! … which makes sense because I always watched the Muppets when I was younger. I can’t find this on google.. but it makes me feel better so I believe.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Dr Chym: you know, that might be the same reason I thought it was animal too.

  13. stinky_llama says:
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    whats your thoughts on jarrod dyson in KC? just coming back off ankle injury, but used as pinch-runner last nite fresh of the DL and swiped no problem so looks like its a thing of the past. are they finally going to cut their loss and stick frenchy on the bench where he belongs to give dyson his much needed showcase?? i have a feeling this guy could rip off 30+ bags RoS if hes gettin the time… thoughts?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @stinky_llama: If he’s stealing, yeah, theres plenty of deep league value. But he’s a contact only guy in the 250ish average range. Maybe a poor man’s Juan Pierre.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Sky: Indeed. Though, earplugs made the world of difference for me in this regard.

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        He seriously does a lot of cocaine.

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @Sky: Shouldn’t we all.

  14. Visionary1 says:
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    Hey Jaywrong, love your blog! I’ve been eying me some Ed Lucas for the past couple days

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Visionary1: thanks, I appreciate that.

  15. Psychedelic says:
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    Would you trade Matt Moore for Bucholz in a dynasty league? I’m in need of a solid pitcher I’m just not sure if this is an outlier season for Bucholz or if Moore can turn his control issues around

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Psychedelic: interesting. I think Moore will regress more than Buccholz. I would do it if you are competing this year. If not, with the dynasty dynamic, I might hold and hope Moore figures it out. Either way, I’m not trading for Buccholz until he comes off the DL.

  16. pablo says:
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    Start Cueto @texas? he got rocked last week, but it was his only bad start all year i think.

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @pablo: I’m leaning no. Slightly… and its more gut than anything, fwiw.

  17. Andrew says:
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    Marte vs. C. Gomez this week?

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @Andrew: I’m leaning Marte.

      • Andrew says:
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        @jaywrong:

        huzzah!

        • Jay

          jaywrong says:
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          @Andrew: all skill baby.

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