I have no idea of how to tie in one of the most famous AHnold soundboard choices, but like last weeks selection of ANIMAL!, I really don’t need a reason. I have established this, and it feels good to make said establishment. I also have no idea what we’re are still doing here, playing in these deep leagues. Sometimes I panic that I won’t have anything to write about, and then I remember, there’s always money in the banana stand. No, wait, that doesn’t make any sense. Ah, yes. We’ll always have Humberto Quintero to talk about. The fantasy catching equivalent of seppuku. And guess what? I haven’t even typed a player blurb on Tom Gorzelanny yet, so exciting times indeed! God, shoot me now.
Considered a solid back of the rotation pitching prospect, Justin Grimm hasn’t really shown anything spectacular so far this year with a 5.56 ERA. But there is some potential here for him to be a bit more. His 4.30 FIP tells a different story of the year he’s having, and a really rough start against Boston where he gave up 978 runs may have scared enough owners off his trail. His K/9 of 7.18 and BB/9 of 2.90 are very solid, and Grimm might be a nice buy-low option if you need a stable starter that could be a bit more.
Finally getting the call for the Milwaukee Brewers, the five year minor leaguer, Sean Halton looks to translate some of his power to the big leagues. He’s been old for the levels he’s played, but he’s also a very big man (6-5, 250) and could be a cheap source for power. Based on his minor league numbers, the high K% may not translate well to the big leagues, and combined with a low walk rate, contact might be Halton’s undoing. But if you have an open corner, he might be worth a look.
Sporting a 2.93 ERA, with a not so zesty WHIP of 1.41, Andrew Miller could be helpful for one thing and one thing only. So far in almost 28 innings, he’s accumulated 45 strikeouts, good for a 14.64 K/9. His FIP is 3.16, so there will likely not be a huge regression change. Add in the fact that regression works a bit differently with relievers anyhow, since of the consistently small sample sizes from year to year, the strikeouts could continue. I doubt he’ll see any saves, but will get the occasional hold here and there as the Red Sox bullpen goes into transition.
J.B. Shuck me? Well, J.B. Shuck you! In 167 plate appearances so far for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in Orange County, California, near Disneyland, and sorta close to Los Angeles, he’s produced a respectable 306/362/388 line. He doesn’t really have much power, and doesn’t really steal that much, so I see him only as a temporary rate stat helper, especially in OBP leagues. Though, it should be noted, most of his at-bats came when Peter Bourjos was on the DL.
I should probably just copy and paste what I said about Andy Dirks a few months back and be done with Clete Thomas. Then again, I would have to still replace all the Tigers stuff I talked about to the Twins, which would take just as long. Thomas won’t necessarily hurt or help you, and in a pinch, he could get you some at-bats with marginal stats. His ceiling seems to be something like 250/320/400, with limited run and RBI opportunities. To be honest, I might recommend just leaving an empty slot in your outfield, but in leagues deep enough, any at-bat, no matter what happens, is a good one. So the fact that he’s hitting 262/338/377 might actually help. I need some mouth wash.
Jaywrong is a 30-year old Korish writer who finds solace using Makers Mark as a vehicle to impress average-looking women, and also has an affinity for making Jennifer Lawrence GIFs. You can follow him @jaywrong, read his blog Desultory Thoughts of a Longfellow, or, you can find his GIFs at his tumblr, named Siuijeonseo.