I don’t think Danny Salazar will be good in 2014. He might be one of the worst pitchers this year. Really no reason to read the rest of the post. Go ahead on to the comments and ask me if I think Carlos Beltran is a good keeper. That’ll teach the people who only skim the first few lines of each post. Unless that previous line — or this line — are also read, then I apologize for my nefariousness. I’m rooted in evil, but I’m trying to change my ways. Maybe the love of a good, much older woman can save me. We will see, together. Give me a small pat on my hobby horse’s ass. That’s fun for both of us. Danny Salazar is in that pile of wonderful that could be this year’s Matt Harvey next year. File him alphabetically in the manila folder labeled, “Yummy.” Bee tee dubya, you think in the Philippines they call manila folders, “Capital City Folders?” Is the Filipino flag a manila folder labelled, “Philippines?” I got questions, y’all! Last year, Salazar threw 52 IP with a 11.25 K-rate, 2.60 BB-rate and 2.75 xFIP. To summarize in nonsensical words, whamo, hooha and zadow! Can I draft him right now in every league? Soon, Grey, you third-person-using fool! So, what can we expect for 2014 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?
Geez, what doesn’t? First, I guess we have to figure out if a 11+ K-rate is able to be maintained. I don’t think it’s completely accurate to compare velocity of one pitcher who threw 50 innings and another who threw 200 innings, but Salazar’s fastball velocity of 96.2 MPH would be the best in the major leagues if he qualified. Matt Harvey did lead the league and had a 95.8 MPH. I could stop there. You don’t need to be a rocket surgeon to figure out that if a guy can average 96 MPH he can succeed. If he had control too, then, well, icing meet cake. Last year’s Salazar 2.60 BB-rate isn’t far off from what we should expect. In Triple-A, he had a 2.12 BB/9 and 2.67 in Double-A. 2.60 BB/9 would put him around that of Anibal Sanchez, Strasburg and Bumgarner — or Anibal Strasbumburg as I like to call them. Those guys aren’t bad company to keep. Honestly, I’m having a hard time finding negatives. Here’s what I said in the beginning of August, “His name is Danny Salazar, and he’s a sexy beast that makes me want to get all flirty and shizz. I call him K-zar. It’s pronounced like czar, so it’s a soft K like his touch, but that’s where the softness ends. He was regularly hitting 99 MPH on the speed gun-measuring-MPH-thingie and even topped out at triple digits. Swoon. I want K-zar in every single league.” And that’s me quoting me! Seriously, nothing’s changed. Salazar might be a fantasy number one this year, but I’ll be just a wee bit conservative and project him for 10-8/3.40/1.19/180 in 170 innings.