Here we are in the home stretch of yet another year in fantasy baseball, and we are left with decisions that we would have never considered a month or two ago. Under-performing “Player A” has to be cut for Hot Schmotato “Player B”, or “Pitcher 3″ has to be cut loose because I won’t reach my innings or game starts and need to get aggressive with my streaming. All these decisions will leave you with a quilted patchwork roster at the end of the season that resembles nothing like your All-Star break squad, let alone your draft day roster. I recall in 2006, my first year playing, when I grabbed Marlon Anderson in early September when he put up a line of 12/7/15/2/.375 to close out the year, and I walked away with $400 and my first fantasy baseball title. Prior to that month, he had hit all of 5 HR’s on the year, and it made zero sense owning him at all, but a bat that produces dongs is just that, a dong producing bat. This week I like current Hot Schmotato Zach Walters to do what he does. Hit home runs, go 1-for-4, and help you catch your opponents in the standings or win the all important H2H matchup.
Acquired by the Indians in the deal that sent Asdrubal Cabrera to the Nats, Zach has been an impressive addition to a rebuilding club. Since his call-up, he’s put up a line of 6/5/7/.263 with a 7/1 K/BB ratio. That’s basically a donkey. Maybe I’ll call him the Grumpy Old Donkey? The Odd Donkey? I don’t know, I’ll let you guys and four girl readers decide what works. Prior to the change of venue, he was up with the Nats at times and hit 3 bombs in 39 AB’s. Over the course of AAA this year he hit 17 bombs in 292 PA’s, and in 2013 hit 29 in 521 PA’s. The walk rate is awful, about 5%, and the K-rate, about 24%, is even worse, but I always look for my Marlon Anderson each and every year. This is probably the first time Marlon Anderson’s name has been in print in about five years. Hey Marlon, when this gets back to you, because I know it will, follow me on Twitter and know I will always have your back. You’re my homie for life!
This week, the 2.4% owned Zach Walters gets six games on the road, starting with three at Chicago (AL) starting Tuesday, and closing out with three at Kansas City. The switch hitting 3rd baseman has batted .350 with 4 HR’s against southpaws and .164 with 4 HR’s against righties. That’s a lot of yikes for batting average differential, but I’m OK with it and all smiles on the dongs. His three games in Chicago has him facing two left-handers, John Danks and Jose Quintana, and couple that with the hitters park effect and I’m all in for this series. Later in the week when he moves on to Kansas City we get another gift when he faces two more left-handers….Sweet! Jason Vargas and Danny Duffy play the southpaws in this fantasy race to the finish drama and we get the gift that keeps on giving….I hope. So to recap we get a donkey on the rise facing four left-handers in six games that has a fever right now that needs to be fed with bombs, dongs, blasts, and shots. Whatever you like to call it, it’s what you need for the stretch run. If I was a David Wright owner, I would kick that king of yawnstipating to the curb and insert some Walters in your life. Speaking of Walter, when I was in my early twenties I had a friend named Javier who went by Walter. Who makes their American name Walter? It’s not like he came here during the time of the great war or when people were debating if talkies would actually work. Either way, he knew lots of hot chicks that liked to party, laughed at my jokes, and liked my cars. Oh how I miss those shallow days of having a kick ass sled to get you in the door. I think 20-year-old’s have to drive a Prius, get some kind of meaningful script tattoo, and be a liberal to impress girls these days. I don’t know, I’m old and cynical.
Travis Snider (13.7%) continues to swing a hot stick, and gets a full week at home which is his favorite place to be (.339 at home vs. .208 on the road). Steve Pearce (13.3%) has woken back up and is starting to get on another roll. He should be owned and used when in the line-up. Josh Willingham (13.2%) is another of the sleeping schmotato’s to wake up lately and is a must start for those in need of power. Lastly is recent Giants hot streaker Joe Panik who has been on fire as he went 5/1/6/.565 over the last week and should be used as long as he keeps this up. Since I only have a few of these left and I’m lucky if 20 of you read this as you all anticipate Monday Morning Grey I’m going to have some fun at the end. Nick the Dick has been spitting some rhymes in the comments lately and in honor of that I’m going to throw some hip hop tracks I like out there for fun…Enjoy DJ-FOH on the 1’s and 2’s!
I hope you all enjoyed that and I’ll see you next Sunday for another installment of the Creeper…Actually you’ll see me Tuesday and Thursday and probably in the comments section of various posts.