Even though I’m recommending Mike Moustakas this week, I still can’t help but booooo! him. Honestly, all Royals hitters this year, except Alcides Escobar, gets the booooo! treatment from me. I’m starting to feel like I’m a Philadelphia resident with my booing of these players regardless of what they do. [Jay’s Note: Needs more Duracell.] Even Alex Gordon has turned into boresville in my book. I’m going to take a moment and shred the Royals, who regardless of their recent run in real baseball, have been a fantasy train wreck. Eric Hosmer has been unable to build on last seasons breakout and has become the Midwest’s version of James Loney. Billy Butler can’t channel those moobs for power like he did in the past and will struggle to hit 10 HR’s this year. Norichika Aoki has been a dud of a lead-off hitter after Alex Gordon created a blue print in KC, and for all of his 14 dongs, Salvador Perez has not been the .290 hitter we all wanted to see. The naysayers can state that Hosmer was a line drive hitter with a very un-homerun swing, Billy Butler is a fatter version of Hosmer, Aoki was more of a pipe dream than a lead-off man, and that Sal has never got over the loss of his abuelita. Well screw you Royals! I will never draft another offensive player from this team again. You are all dead to me….in fantasy! Speaking of fantasy, have you signed up for a Razzball Football RCL League yet? Get on the good foot and shimmy over to the football side and sign-up? Click here and let all your fantasy football dreams come true… which of course is winning a bobble-head of yourself (and a Best Buy gift card is up for grabs if you create a league!). Buying one is just straight weird, but winning one is perfectly acceptable and very cool.
I hate 7.3% owned Mike Moustakas, not personally of course, but in this virtual passion filled world of fantasy we come to as an escape from our wives, families, and any other humans who keep us in their circles. Hey, this sounds a lot like a validation for porn. The Moose or popularly known here as MostSuckAs* has been as frustrating as your first bra strap failure. He’s never lived up to the hype, has shown flashes of kick-ass awesomeness, and has also led a new group of some hybrid Donkey types I like to call a donkling. A donkling is not a full Donkey because they wont hit enough dongs, yet have all the promise and talent to be a dong smashing Mendoza marauder. This week I’m thinking this donkling does his best Donkey impersonation like he did a few weeks back. Over a four day stretch he went 6 for 17 with 3 HR’s. He opens the week with one game against the Twins and newly recalled right handed prospect Trevor May who got lit up in his first game and also handed out 9 free passes. After the one game against the Twins he moves down to everyone’s favorite launching pad Coors Canaveral where the Coors Correction makes everyone Bichetter! Granted he gets to face two lefties and the Royals may elect to go with Christian Colon, but the risk is worth it to have him on your team. If I was you I would add Colon for the Colorado series and the only reason I didn’t open with that is I want to make people are reading this. In the minors this year Colon did not put up eye popping numbers but what he did do was made me a batty call believer. Against left-handed pitching Colon batted .337 with an ISO of .224 an OPS of .926 and to top it off he had a wOBA of .372. Oh, you so sexy Colon! WTF? Who said that? Moustakas closes the week at the Rangers and that hot dry Texas air. He get’s three right-handers and that’s what we want to see. A couple of dong diggity’s is a real possibility this week and the Hitter-Tron agrees ranking him 50th for the WEEK! If you can keep him rostered through the uncertainty of the line-up in Colorado then you could end up with a spectacular week.
Christian Colon (0.1%) is a must add for the Royals two games at Coors this week. Like I mentioned above, he friggin’ kills lefties and gets two at Colorado and even if he doesn’t play 3rd he might see a start at 2nd. He’s a two day batty call so bring some flowers. Jonathan Schoop (3.6%) would be amazing if he played everyday. If you see he’s in the lineup then you need to get him in. Grey told you to buy him on Friday and I’m here to remind you of potentially one of the better batty call creepers down the stretch. HEEEEEEE”S BAAAAAAACK….Avisail Garcia returned yesterday and I couldn’t be happier. He’s 2.4% owned and you better jump on him like Billy Butler on a free buffet. Lastly, if you need some SAGNOF go grab Jordon Schafer (2.7%). He’s stolen 6 bags in 26 AB’s over the last two weeks which is third most over that time or if he’s gone check out Jarrod Dyson (7.2%) who has also stolen 6 bags over the last two weeks doing his in 24 AB’s. I like them both to keep this up to close out the season. It’s time for me to get into the Football writers draft and I’ll see you all Tuesday for the RCL roundup!