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I’m sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea, I’ve got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me. The Virgin Sea is Coors Field and you have got to be free to add Avisail Garcia ASAP. What sweet sweet rock n’ roll poetry to get week 2 of the season started. The 1970’s and early 80’s hit making band Styx provided me with that brilliant piece of intro for this week’s Creeper of the Week. Their classic, Come Sail Away, has been a radio staple, as well as a beautiful remade meoldy by Eric Cartman on South Park.  In week 2, we get the early season gift of Avisail Garcia making his Coors debut and like any lover of sleepers out there we love these kind of trips. If I was wealthy, I’d hop a plane to cheer this 6’4 240lb Venenzuelan onto fantasy week 2 gold. I’d also want to go get a room in the team hotel (stalker alert) and that way I can make sure anytime he isn’t on the field no one is trying to disrupt this treasured hitter. Wait a minute, before you all think I’m crushing too hard on him be reminded I’m not the only person at Razzball with a crush on Avisail. (He was Jammed by the Gurutargeted by Greya sleeper by Grey, loved by Mike and Bill Mahoney in the White Sox Fantasy Preview, and is one of Jay’s top 100 keepers) So why is he only 11.6% owned in ESPN? I’ll tell you why, 88.4% of all ESPN leagues don’t read Razzball (for shame) and only contain ESPN employees and their family members. Thankfully we have a good readership in Yahoo who sports a 34% for my Creeper of the Week. Props to you Yahoo players for reading the Razz on the regular.

Why brainstorming this post, I asked myself, “what kind of stats are you going to use to support this claim? Why take such a big risk with no previous data to build your case? Why do I go buy a new bag of socks every time I can’t find a match? Why do I keep watching re-runs of Burn Notice yet haven’t brought myself to watch the finale?” Wow, I got a lot of things on my mind. Maybe it’s because I got multiple personalities rolling through my head and I just came home from my daughters birthday party and I still have the sound of 30 screaming kids in my head. BTW, if you are going to have a kids party, just give them all balloons tied to strings, and everyone is happy. You can try and give them all the food and cake and cool stuff you spent your tax return on, but a balloon filled with helium tied to a string is about the best thing they could ever have.

Sorry to fall off track there, it’s been birthday bonanza around here this week. Here is what I do have on Avisail, according to Hitter-Tron he’s the 59th best hitter projected over the next week. That’s ahead of Justin Upton, Mark Trumbo, Joey Votto and Prince Fielder according to that lover of Rocky Mountain Metal. Hey guys, it’s Rudy’s Coors Correction, which I can’t argue with….Actually I don’t call it the Coors Correction. I have my own name for it and it’s Bichetter, in honor of the great Colorado Rockies mullet wearing masher Dante Bichette who used to smash balls out of that mile high city as easily as Matt Adams closes down buffet’s. When he’s in Colorado, he’ll be Bichetter! I hope it sticks. I really need to stay on track over here, after that opening week series in Colorado he gets to return home to hitter friendly U.S. Cellular Field. Last season it was the 4th best park to hit a home run with an average of 1.349 bombs per game. In that series he gets to face all righties, he’s a career .309 hitter against vs. .252 against lefties. One of them he is 2 for 2, Corey Kluber, against and two others, Justin Masterson and Zach McAllister, have never faced him. I look at it as glass half filled with optimism with a shot of bravery. I know there isn’t a lot of data, but if you have been down on his slow start or someone has dropped him then I would seriously add him and if you own him and he’s on your bench then play him. If there was a time for him to get going now will be it.

In case Avisail is gone, other hitters up for consideration this week are: Corey Dickerson, Tyler Flowers, Oswaldo Arcia, Colby Rasmus, and DJ LeMahieu

Note: Last week I said I would only be covering players less than 20% owned and I got a bit of advice on this matter from last years Creeper of the Week writer Sky. “Try to keep it reasonable….given the % are skewed by dead teams” So there it is. The words of wisdom have been passed on. I will be lifting my 20% cutoff. Now I’m off to drink something strong and carbonated.

From Around The Web

  1. Los locos says:
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    He sucks! Maybe next year

    • J-FOH

      J-FOH says:
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      @Los locos: Thanks for reading

      • RotisserieJedi says:
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        @J-FOH:
        Holy sh*t!

        I saw this samurai movie once. The climactic scene ends in a dazzling flurry of sword strikes where the hero is cut on the shoulder and the villain asks him if he has any last words. The hero says “Thank You,” at which point the villain gets a really worried look on his face followed by a look of utter astonishment…..as his head slides right off his neck. Now that was a sharp cut.

        Your reply, Jack……..your reply was sharper.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @RotisserieJedi: *bows in direction of Jedi*

      • Kid A says:
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        @J-FOH:

        So Zen.

  2. Senbear says:
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    Bench Justin Upton for Avisail?

    • J-FOH

      J-FOH says:
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      @Senbear: I would play the match ups until Upton gets going

      • Senbear says:
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        @J-FOH: it’s a weekly set roster…

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Senbear: avisail went down today. Upton

  3. Paz says:
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    would you take this guy over Billy Hamilton?

    I’m not hurting for steals (got Segura and Goldschmidt, amongst others) and Hamilton is frustrating

    H2H twelve teamer

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Paz: too early to drop Hamilton, it’s the FIRST WEEK!

      • Roger Anderson says:
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        @J-FOH: Hamilton is Dee Gordon 2.0 with a lower BA – DROPPED!

  4. Ken Plane says:
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    Your name is not Michael Weston and you are not a spy. Watch the finale it will not disappoint. I believe better weather will also help.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Ken Plane: I just don’t want it to be over. I even named my dog Sam Axe….but when we go on walks he’s Chuck Finley.

      • Ken Plane says:
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        @J-FOH: Amen brother…… great show

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Ken Plane: I’m getting choked up writing this. Why did it have to end? With the format it could of gone on for years and years. There was no reason to pull the plug.

          • goodfold2 says:
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            @J-FOH: yeah, every season or 2 they just came up with higher level conspiracy (or smarter villian); if you go back and watch it in order almost everything was always the same (not saying bad)

  5. Linda Richman says:
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    Garicia he’s Bichetter, he makes me ferklempt, talk amongst yourselves…topic the radical reconstruction of the South after the Civil War was neither radical nor a reconstruction. Discuss, while I add that Land O’ Lakes hunk of a man!

    • Birdmann says:
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      @Linda Richman: That moves me Linda. Glad I own him everywhere, hope you are right Jack.

      • Birdmann says:
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        @Birdmann: damn tried to change my Gravatar to be funny didn’t work oh well. Birdmann is Linda Richman, loved coffee talk. Disscuss.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Birdmann: HAHAHAHA! caught with your pants down. You need to clear your cache before you post. I see those with multiple personalities are favorites of mine. We know our own in here.

  6. Bi-Felicia says:
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    No Trevor Plouffe love?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Bi-Felicia: I have to go for the double hitters park love

  7. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    I’ll be your Mr. Roboto.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @The Guru: I know you will ;)

  8. chris says:
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    you think Dickerson will get some starts?
    here’s hoping …

    • J-FOH says:
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      @chris: I know Colorado was playing the splits but Blackmon is the hot hand right now so I would hold on him til Blackmon cools off.

  9. The Guru

    The Guru says:
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    And down goes Avisail.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @The Guru: the wind has been let out of my sails

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        Sometimes I think the creeper has the reverse Midas touch.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @The Guru: my touch has been compared to poop

  10. Joe G says:
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    They offer me jean segura for my tony cingrani and alex wood should i pull the triger? Who is better alex wood or Zack wheeler?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Joe G: take segura

  11. gareth says:
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    Next week’s creeper? Jose Quintana.

    J-foh’s ongoing series will then be called “white sox I kind of like.”

    • J-FOH says:
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      @gareth: wow. You’re not in the joke writing biz are you? Quintana is a pitcher and creepers are hitters. Dont be discouraged, I wont be covering any Indians this year

      • gareth says:
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        @J-FOH: meow!

        • J-FOH says:
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          @gareth: shame on you for that question. back to the litter box

  12. K3Z says:
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    Avisail is owned in %52 of CBS leagues. How do I know? Cause I have him… in my keeper league, that’s how I found out. :)

    • J-FOH says:
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      @K3Z: Jay would be proud of that keeper

  13. Joe G says:
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    Would you trade grienke or Gio for jean segura?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Joe G: yes

  14. Maxi says:
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    Avisail got hurt today? I need a utility guy to start this week, Colabello or McGehee?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Maxi: Colabello

  15. Bad News Sugarbear says:
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    Just a note, Avisail went down… but then he got back up and finished that game. Walked and scored a run in the top of the 9th, and I’m not seeing any news of injury anywhere.

  16. jal179 says:
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    Crap how hurt I Avisail? I think I will drop Jim Henderson for Eovaldi, Wong for Dee Gordon… or maybe Henderson for Almothe to fill in for Avisail

    • J-FOH says:
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      @jal179: I would drop wong for gordon

  17. P Swayze on a horse says:
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    Next weeks “creeper of the week.” Any Colorado Rockies player who is starting and under 20% owned…. Or Abraham Almonte … Or Marcel Ozuna. *drops mic* walks of stage

  18. costaricanchata says:
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    @ J-FOH

    as i read your column ,
    this song flashed through my brain :
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hZySbS2_Dw

    and , NO ,
    i’m not that old ,
    but , my mother used to sing this song to me .

    in any event ,
    i think you ought to re-name your weekly column
    ” The Creeper’s Creepers ” .
    just to , you know , kind of own it .

    • J-FOH says:
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      @costaricanchata: i was thinking the creepiest creeper’s creeper.

  19. Ron says:
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    Since you fancy Avisail and I have A. Soriano murdering my team in a 12 team Roto OBP league.

    1) Should I wait it out with Soriano or drop him for one of these guys – Avisail, Blackmon, K. Davis, Morse, Cain, Kubel, R. Davis?

    Thanks.!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Ron: avisail or davis

  20. costaricanchata says:
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    hey J-FOH :

    you’re kind of tight with Grey .
    would you let me know , asap ,
    when he adds melky to one of his rosters ?

    me and Prez got a good thing going , here ,
    and i’m afraid that if Grey slides
    over to our side of the teeer-totter , well , …
    (i think he might be some kinda jinx) .

    thanking you , in advance .

  21. Spammer Jay says:
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    Who’s your Creeper! Yeah baby! Nice Start J-FOH! Hashtag: $

  22. TakeURbase says:
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    It was going so well too. Garcia out for the season.

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