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This is a tough one for me this week. I just attended a funeral the other day for the death of Avisail Garcia‘s 2014 season. We all had such high hopes here at Razzball for the winner of the Miguel Cabrera look-a-like contest. When he was with the Tigers they called him Minnie-Miggy.  He had just come off his best game of the year where he smacked two home run’s and was making me look like the creep whisperer…..That really sounds like I whisper in a really creepy way, which I don’t, I have a sexy whisper.  Hey there four girl readers! (What’s yo’ name, what’s yo’ number?) Now we must move on and bury our Avisail dreams, unless you are in a deep keeper league, then I would take a deep breath, put him on your DL and go out and grab Marlon Byrd… for the week. Ok, he might be worth owning longer, but this week he’s my Creeper. Before I get to all the blah blah blah for why he is my keeper, I want to talk about what a cool name Byrd is. You got Larry Bird, Harvey Birdman, the Dirty Bird, Lady Bird Johnson, and Robin Thicke. Hey wait a minute J-FOH, Robin Thicke is a type of bird? That is correct diligent Razzican, but he is a damn sexy type of bird. The man makes beautiful music that gets the ladies into the mood, with the help of alcohol too, to give J-FOH the sweet sweet loving he needs. Do my dirty work Robin, you have replaced Michael McDonald, serenade their repulsion’s away so I can play outside my division.  Damn that gives me an idea, a collaboration made in the heavens, Robin Thicke and Michael McDonald team up for the ultimate lovers album.

I need to get back to what we are here for, ME!, and the Creeper of the Week. Marlon Byrd really broke out last year by smacking a career best 24 HR’s to go along with 88 RBI’s and 75 Runs. At age 36 we all want to cry PED’s and you are probably right but this is fantasy baseball, and as long as they don’t take the stats away they are our’s to keep. I’m sure Carlos Gomez got hooked up with Ryan Braun‘s dealer and Bryce Harper spent the off season with Victor Conte getting some “hand” lotion, but that’s not my problem, that is MLB’s. Mr. Byrd opens the week with a home series vs. the Braves and then finishes it off with a trip to everyone’s favorite launching pad: Coors Canaveral! In honor of this, let’s open a can of Coors Light and pour it out because we really don’t want to drink that unless it’s a hundred degrees outside and you need to stay hydrated at Lake Havasu. Statistically this is more of a gut play. He has never faced David Hale, has blah numbers vs. Ervin Santana and Julio Tehran but does sport a .420 avg against Alex Wood. In Colorado he has no real history against Tyler Chatwood, Franklin Morales, and Juan Nicasio but that won’t stop me from playing him in that thin air. He’ll be Bichetter! Here is what we do know, he transformed his career last year by having a monster year and got a fat contract. This year he’s got a slash line of .286/.318/.452 with 2 HR’s and 8 RBI’s. Basically he’s picked up right where he left off and by playing his home games in a hitter friendly park, last year he was in Metco, he has the ability to be useful more than just this next week. In case you were wondering, Citizens Bank Ballpark was the top park last year for HR’s and usually falls in the top ten every year.  I’m predicting a 2HR week with a nice batting average. Now I’m off to Disneyland  to go wait in ridiculously long lines, get sun a burn, and dodge annoying people with strollers the size of compact cars. But it’s all worth it for the happiness it brings my child.

Others under creeper consideration: Colby Rasmus, Cody Asche, Neil Walker, Melky Cabrera, Mike Moustakas, J.B. Shuck

One last reminder, we are still looking to up our subscriptions to Razzball Radio on You Tube. Get out there, support Nick the Podcast Host and subscribe to our new channel. You can watch all the Razzball videos as we get to know the writers who bring you all joy and delight on a regular basis.

From Around The Web

  1. c0wfunk says:
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    May give asche a go this week, most of these guys are gone in my league..

    Guy in my league is looking for a 2b. I’ve got Wong and gyorko and with my team balance Wong fits better for my needs. Thinking about offering gyorko for heyward. Coco crisp is my 4th of / util2 and I’m a little worried about his wrist long term. How do you like gyorko for heyward?
    H2hcats 5 + obp and tb. Thanks

    • J-FOH says:
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      @c0wfunk: that looks like a good deal for you.

      I would for sure play Asche in Colorado

  2. What’s a one-line version of your reasoning for Shuck? I need another OF for a while (I have four for three OF slots, but one is Billy Hamilton, who I want to bench until he gets going). Of the OF you mentioned, I already have Melky, and Byrd and Rasmus are unavailable. I had been thinking of Ludwick for that spot … would you opt for Shuck over Ludwick as a short-term pickup?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Enrique: shuck

      60/2/39/.293/8 with 25XBH

      I would take Shuk over Ludwick, dude can hit and won’t kill you

      • @J-FOH: Done! Thanks.

        What does 25xBH mean?

        • Birdmann says:
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          @Enrique: extra base hits, duh!

          • @Birdmann: I was, um, just testing you guys. Heh heh.

            Thanks. I hadn’t seen it expressed that way. I should get out more.

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Enrique: were over the net. I expect you not getting out more. Xbh for a guy like shuck is important. Explains all the runs. Dude should of been up all year.

  3. Shake N Bacon says:
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    Melky is on fire!!! So glad I dropped him after one game in one of my RCL leagues…doh! I did the same thing with Byrd.

    You still believing in Moustakas? Maybe I gave up on him too soon. Now Matty Dominguez is my starting 3B….ugh.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Shake N Bacon: Mous will get there. Hitter Tron likes him this next week, I would keep an eye on how he does.

      I too dropped Melky, I hear ya on him. It makes no sense to me.

  4. Birdmann says:
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    Love every bird reference in this article, good stuff! Yeah it was tough losing Garcia, I was hoping for big things. Lucky for me Eaton is killing it right now. Speaking of killing it the Braves are lighting up Gio.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Birdmann: do the dirty bird every time Eaton gets a counting stat

  5. Birdmann says:
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    I would hate to get a sun a burn hope it doesn’t last to long, put some lotion on that when you get home.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Birdmann: i was speaking Italglish when I wrote that

  6. Wake Up says:
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    OOPS!

    Looks like Dunn just donkey-kicked Byrd in the wing…

    Blackbyrd take that broken wing and learn to fly…

    Speaking of the beetles and how they’re shit…

    I was watching a dung beetle push a turd along a dirt path, earlier today…it reminded me of Chase Utley…

    Maybe you could do Utley as your next creeper?

    Wouldn’t mind seeing him go down for the season…

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Wake Up:HAHAHAHAHAHA>>>>> This makes perfect sense. I’m glad I had some hallucinogens in my coffee this morning.

      Can we start a collection piece called Wake-isms and we can sell it as a companion piece with Who is Grey Albright?

  7. The Thumb says:
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    Byrd or Morse?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @The Thumb: morse while he’s hot and healthy

    • J-FOH says:
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      @gareth: how did I not use that. Ive played that in here before….damnit

      If you have Byrd on your team do you want to eat him?

      • [will work for saves] says:
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        @J-FOH: haha nice!

        Still a terrible trader tho! *runs out door, ducking flying objects*

      • gareth says:
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        @J-FOH: I’m an indoor cat. I would just chatter at him.

        • [will work for saves] says:
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          @gareth: thats cute…

        • J-FOH says:
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          @gareth: you crazy Welshman

  8. gareth says:
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    Hey j-foh,

    I Got offered a trade in the rcl. What do you think?

    I get: Pedro Alvarez, Dominic Brown

    I give: carlos Santana, Dexter Fowler

    I have headley at third now (who is stinking it up). If I traded Santana, yan gomes would be my every day catcher and Alvarez my 3rd baseman. Im waiting on santana to be c/1b/3b but Carlos needs 20 starts at third to qualify in the espn rcl league I believe ( Correct me if im wrong). Hes still a ways off, and headley concerns me. I’m not a fan of brown personally.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @gareth: id take Pedro and brown. Asap

  9. gareth says:
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    G3!

  10. gareth says:
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    My team today was 0 for 18 before gyorko’s home run.

    Gross.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @gareth: that f**king jerk

  11. gareth says:
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    Razzbal favorite alex Cobb to the dl.

    Thats like the 125th injury already this year.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @gareth: don’t remind me. I now have 3 DL players in one league.

      • costaricanchata says:
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        @J-FOH:

        why are you not striving to fill up
        every dl spot in every league ?

        • goodfold2 says:
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          @costaricanchata: i’m sad all those times i have to throw away the josh johnson and derek hollands of the world

  12. EJ says:
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    I’ve got Ramos in DL slot and I’ve been streaming C. Available in 14 team Roto:
    Zunino, Flowers, Suzuki, Avila, d”Arnaud please rank.

    Also, hurting on 1/3B. Available are:
    Moustakas, Freeze, Dominquez, Semien, G. Jones, Reynolds

    Lastly, I’ve been using Emilo for SNAGOF…is he still worth keeping? Thanks!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @EJ: Zunino, Flowers

    • J-FOH says:
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      @EJ: Semien is having a nice week,I like the upside there, Is Gillespie gone?

      Use Emilio until it’s over

      • EJ says:
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        @J-FOH: Thanks…I’ll pickup Zunio. Gillespie is gone. It is slim pickens!

      • EJ says:
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        @J-FOH: I drafted Moustakas in the last round and had Freeze last year — big disappointments. Anyone else you could think of? Thanks.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @EJ: you can always play the matchups and stream 3B til someone emerges. Is Solarte available, he just got 3B eligibility in ESPN

          • EJ says:
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            @J-FOH: I guess matchups are in my future….Solarte was gone too. Thanks.

  13. de nachos says:
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    Byrd has just looked like a hitter. Asche has looked lost. If Colorado can’t turn him around, I think Ryno increases his “days off.” I’m tempted to double down on Semien for my Beltre replacement. And Utley looks like a god. Swoon.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @de nachos: NACHO! I’m glad you like the Byrd pick, the Colorado series will be a fun one for Philly fans. What are your other options at 3rd?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @de nachos: I just looked in FCL, I see what you’re working with. Castellanos is four games away from 3rd base eligibility.

      • de nachos says:
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        @J-FOH: yeah. In FCL I’m not touching Semien. But Castellanos, yawn. I try to console myself that my last round draft pick Rendon – roster bated dropped and now on Wake’s 2nd place squad – is an example where I need to not make rash pre-season/early season moves. I also tell myself Anthony is happier with Wake. Better club scene.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @de nachos: those young guys love being in da club. I just lost Cobb now and that with Robertson is killing me. If I had more than Miggy as a 3rd base option I would try to work out a deal with you

    • J-FOH says:
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      @de nachos: I think the fan behind them would be the one

  14. de nachos says:
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    They upped Cobb’s DL to 4-6 weeks, w t fudge

    • J-FOH says:
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      @de nachos: I’m already fashioning a noose

  15. Just Make Pitch says:
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    Was deciding between picking up Dee Gordon and Byrd for the week when Gordon got snaked from under me. I guess it was fate.

  16. Natty Boh says:
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    I have Byrd as my 5th OF in a 15 team league and love it. Just came back from Disney and made this observation, any guy who had kids w/ him ages 10 and under just looked miserable!

    • Natty Boh says:
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      @Natty Boh: and within the hour of my post, I have traded Byrd for Wll Venable. I need SBs.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Natty Boh: thats a great deal for you

Comments are closed.