Thanks for the welcome back all from my All-Star Weekend excursion. I talked with Grey and he said ‘why the heck didn’t you write one?’ to which I responded ‘but please, sir, you promised me some time off around the break while I worked on the Razzball Fantasy Football side of things. You also said you’d bump my pay from 2 bits to 3 for the year. Does that still apply?’ From that point on there was much caning and agony until I reminded him of my [player]Luke Scott[/player] call from the week prior to calm him along with refilling his vape. But of course, none of this matters to you really, you’re here for this week’s creeper. So without much more pomp, let me type with the 4 remaining fingers that work why [player]Justin Smoak[/player] is a good pickup for week 16 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season.
Let’s see, how many different puns could I have gone with in that intro? Smoak On The Water? Would’ve been apt, he plays in Safeco, a stadium that is bordering on being on the water. Smoak too much, hehe? That would’ve required your knowledge of the Monty Python universe and I can’t assume that of you guys and gals, though I will say you’re all silly bunts. Of course the real question is, ‘would any of them not have been said before?’ Wait, that’s not the question, the question is why am I blathering about this when I should be talking about Justin. Understood, so let’s get this out and done.
Justin Smoak…hit…ball…good…now…buy. I put the extra elipses in there for you to make it feel like there needs to be more said. You can fill in the blanks on your own. Considering this week’s post Creeper Mad Libs. For cereal, though, this isn’t a matchup call this week just like the Luke Scott Creeper last week wasn’t. You see a guy hitting the ball well, you go pick him up. It’s not that hard. Ok, maybe it is hard with a guy who’s had no success at the major league level up to this point in his career. Given his ownership in yahoo and ESPN leagues (8% and 9.9% owned respectively as of Saturday), I think that history is clouding what could be a post-hype break out, but at the very least is a downright nice hot streak going. Since returning from the DL on June 18th, Smoak has batted a ridiculous .329/.414/1.036 slashline in 84 at bats to go along with 6 homers and 15 RBI. To put that in perspective, that pace over a 500 at-bat season is 35 dingers and 89 RBIs. That’s what the kids call ‘not too shabby’. Wait, the kids don’t use the word shabby anymore, do they. Do they still call good things ‘sick’ and put ‘hella’ in front of things…I’m so out of my element here. But I’m not with fantasy baseball! So if you feel the need for a power streak to ride for this week and perhaps beyond, realize I’m not blowing Smoak up your arse and go grab Justin.