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There are certain things in this world that should be considered criminal.  Bringing 11 items to a 10 item express lane is one of them.  Breaking out your checkbook at said express lane would be another.  Not having your gosh darned info filled out BEFORE they’re done ringing up your stuff would be another.  Seriously, do you need to know the total before you sign it and put the date on it?  Did you really need to know it was $23.42 before you marked ‘groceries’ as the ‘for’ section?  And why you using checks, dude!  It’s 2013!  I don’t care if you have bad credit, it’s called a debit card or pulling out cash!  But I’ll spend more if I have a card or cash.  You do already now, jack-hole, you just do it slower and tick off everyone around you!  Wow, that escalated quickly.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, things that should be considered criminal.  Outside of unexpressing an express lane, a big no no in my book is letting a guy who hits third in the lineup of a team that currently leads the league in runs languish out in the FA pool.  I’m here to talk with you about the lisper’s nightmare, Seth Smith, and how he can help you during week 5 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season…

The first thing that needs to get aired here is this: I should not be able to write about a guy who’s batting .328 four weeks into the season as a ‘creeper’.  You should know he’s out there and he should already be owned.  But ESPN is telling me (I’m being literal about this.  They call me.  It’s like a creeper hotline.  It’s either Stephania Bell or Matthew Berry talking in a strange falsetto.) that Seth Smith is only about 13% owned.  Wait, what, huh?  Oh wait, it’s ESPN it must be better over at Yahoo… wait, it’s only 9% there.  Well ok, so no one needs a good hitter at UTIL or OF.  Well aren’t you all special.  But more to the point of why you might wanna pick up Seth for this week: he’s hitting.  Ok, you probably want more of a reason since you already knew that and haven’t picked him up.  Well how about starting the week off against a team with the second worst ERA in the major leagues with the Angels?  If it weren’t for the AAAstros, this Los Angeles team would be mis-leading the league with a 4.82 ERA.  That’s what happens when your current staff ace is C.J. Wilson and has an ERA of 4.30.  Let’s just say it’s not a fun time to be in Anaheim right now.  Even Goofy is hanging his head in shame.  If the schedule holds true, Seth will face Hanson (RHP), Richards (RHP), and C.J. Wilson (LHP).  Those parentheses are for you to know that he may not get to play against C.J. given the Athletics penchant for playing matchups and platooning guys.  That said, Smith hasn’t exactly failed against southpaws so far this year as he’s now 8/16 with a homerun off of them on the year, so it’s possible he’ll get a shot at Wilson as well.  After that, Mr. Smith takes a trip to Yankees stadium, a place well known for being friendly to left handed power hitters.  Don’t believe me?  Travis Hafner has 4 HRs in 26 ABs so far at home this year and an .962 slugging percentage.  People, I’m no Pronk-tologist, but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn last night and woke up stinking of gin and with a sticky Home & Garden magazine next to me.  Those were some really nice cantaloupes… wait, that’s not how those commercials go.  To the point, please pick up Seth Smith and for the love of all things you hold dear in your life, stop using checks as part of your every day purchasing needs.  Really, I bet you still have a rotary phone at home.

  1. ichirosan says:
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    I feel obligated to say that Céspedes is returning soon, probably today, which means Smith’s role is going to get reduced, though hopefully he’ll keep getting a good chunk of at-bats against RHP.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Well to be fair, Seth was the DH for most games even when Yoenis wasn’t on the DL. He will see some reduced PT but Chris Young .163 isn’t going to be too much of a hindrance minus LHP days.

      • Clyde says:
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        @Sky:

        Smith will likely only start 3 games in the next week since the other 3 games are against LHPs.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Who’s the third lefty?

          • Clyde says:
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            @Sky:

            I guess that depends on who the first two are. Fantrax lists 3 lhp’s. Wilson, CC, and Pettitte.

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Gotcha; had Wilson and CC, wasn’t sure about Pettitte. Well, daily leagues you’ll still find him a nice option to have around. Not so much weekly.

  2. gareth says:
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    Seth smith is a format platoon player, like garrett jones. If its a daily format – he’s usable. Plug him in and out depending on pitching match ups. However if it’s a weekly roto or head to head format he won’t play enough to justify adding him. With crisp being a solid regular, Cespedes coming back, as well reddick improving and young sharing at bats with smith all will ensure his playing time suffers. He’s also the worse outfielder out of these guys, so he will mostly dh.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @gareth: Of course, but he’s probably the regular DH when Yoenis is back on the field as he’s the RHP hitter of the lefty righty splits with Chris Young.

  3. gareth says:
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    Are you suprised the rockies dfa’d chris nelson? He appeared to be a servicable player who had some trade value. Also – is arenado a must to pick up now?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @gareth: I’m a little surprised in that they couldn’t find a trading partner but he wasn’t long for the job anyways. Arenado almost won the job out of Spring, it was just a matter of time.

      If Arenado is out there, pick him up now. Good home park, solid contact rates and good LD%. He’s not gonna overwhelm you in the power department but he could be a .280 to .300 hitter with a shot at 18+ HRs as his baseline.

  4. gareth says:
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    Who would you start head to head weekly for week 5 at ss – rutledge or jed lowrie?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @gareth: I’d still go with Lowrie there as he’s been the least sat Oak player so far. Rut might miss a game or two with how the Rockies like to give people rest.

  5. slacks says:
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    I’m in a 16 team daily moves league where Smith does have nice value. But, I traded him and A Soriano for willingham. Good move right? I will be using venable and eventually Saunders in the open spot.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @slacks: Not a bad move at all. Willingham is a 30 HR hitter and is extremely underrated.

  6. Tony Starks says:
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    Re: gareth

    arenado is a must grab in everything except maybe 10-team leagues. kid was forced to prove he earned the call-up so hopefully this time he’s ready to not just stick around but rake too !

  7. gareth says:
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    I was pretty drunk last night and sent a trade request to another fantasy player – I give tim lincecum and he gives jose bautista. I woke up this morning and checked my emails. Trade accepted!

    He sent me a note saying he would have preffered my felix hernandez, but pulled the trigger regardless.

    I’m happy to get joey bats, but is it wierd to feel a twinge of regret on letting go a possibly resurgent tim lincecum?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @gareth: He’s walking over 5 per 9 right now. The old Timmy is gone, you’re gonna miss out on probably a high 3 ERA and a 9+ K/9. It’s a solid line but I’d rather take a shot at 40 HRs from Joey Bats.

    • Prezii says:
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      @gareth: note to self: find new league.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Prezii: sweet jesus again with the rape alerts.

  8. gareth says:
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    To plug joey bats in, I have to sit one of the following – reddick, swisher, stanton, choo, gardner, adam jones. Its a 5 outfield league with one utility spot.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Bench Reddick

  9. gareth says:
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    Sit lynn home to cincy or aj burnett home to the nationals?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @gareth: I’d sit Burnett

  10. Gareth says:
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    I have a roster crunch for week 5. My pitching is pretty stellar so I have some tough decisions on who to start and who to bench. Only 9 Spots available for 13 pitchers. the 4 other pitchers sit on the bench in a WEEKLY Cbs Format.

    Here are my 13 pitchers:

    starters:

    Felix (@ Toronto)
    Gio (@ ATL, @ Pit)
    Gallardo (PIT, STL)
    Estrada (PIT, STL)
    Morrow (BOS, SEA)
    Cobb (@ KC, @ COL)
    Lynn (CIN)
    Lincecum (@ Arizona)
    AJ Burnett (Washington)

    Relievers:

    Holland (7 home – CLE, TB, CHW)
    Betancourt (3 Home, 3 away TB, @ LAD)
    Street (3 Home, 4 away ARI, @ Cubs)
    Frieri (4 Home, 3 Away BAL, @ OAK)

    I am currently second on my league. The categories I need to catch up on are wins, Whip and Era. I am 4th in Saves and 3rd in Strikeouts.

    So which 4 out of these guys would you put on the bench this week?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Felix Hernandez/Gio/Estrada/Lynn/Burnett/all relievers.

  11. Parker says:
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    really want to pick up arenado, but my league only has two bench spots to divide between pitchers and hitters.

    is it worth dropping one of the hot outfielders (mcclouth, cain, marte) or one of the not-so-hot outfielders (melky…ugh) for arenado?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Sure, drop Melky

  12. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    I feel like I built a retaining wall

    seth is so sethy

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I question how much you’ve retained…

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: still breathing not really thinking

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Sounds like a good Sunday.

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: yeah, just Sunday

  13. Anthony says:
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    @Sky: Any news on when the player rater will be up and running ? its almost may lol

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Sorry Anthony, I don’t run that part of the show. I’d hit up one of Greys posts for that info

  14. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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    trade

    12tm al only

    A; bautista and hellickson

    B: rodney, buccholz, seth smith

    I’m getting B, need saves badly

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      That’s a major overpay in my book. I’d abstain and try to pick up handcuffs. Bautista is premium in AL Only

      • The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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        @Sky: yeah i know. It’s a dynasty league,

        bautista and hellickson are in the last yr of their contract. buchholz, rodney and smith are all brand new.

        i already have Ryan Cook, Jared Burton, Hector Ambriz and Al Alburquerque. Patience is the key here, i know. But it be nice to have one lock down closer.

        • The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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          @The Talented Mr. Dope Man:

          another thought:

          Bautista and hellickson for Jansen / valverde, and yu darvish

          • The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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            @The Talented Mr. Dope Man: and who would you prefer between jansen or valverde?

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Jansen.

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            Big bat for big arm, I’ll always want a bat

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Yeah it’s hard to stay patient bu it’s the best course of action

  15. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    Shoot, I didn’t put SS in my lineup for today. HR/3 RBI.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Damn, well I only called Monday on so I take no part in his thexy day

  16. huge caulk says:
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    Smith faces Sabathia on Thursday. He could theoretically sit out Wed vs Wilson and Thurs as well…Too risky in H2H with a short bench even tho he just hit a HR.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Depends on if you are a weekly or daily league

  17. grif says:
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    In a dynasty roto, should I drop Moustakas and pick up nolan arenado?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Don’t like that, would prefer to drop someone else for him.

  18. Combo says:
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    I think Carlos Quentin makes for a top week 5 creeper (pains me to say as a dodger fan). He has 7 games (@cubs-4, dbacks-3) he’s healthy right now, and he has hit homers off 4 of the 7 pitchers he’ll face in the past. Thoughts?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Streaky power hitter but yeah that could definitely go in your favor.

  19. James says:
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    Was thinking of dropping Lorenzo Cain for either of the following:

    Aoki
    Moose
    Josh Donaldson
    Arenado

    10 team h2h
    Which should I pick up for the short term and should I still hold on Marte, Werth, and Brandon moss.

    Thank you for the advice , much appreciated

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