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Homer has so many different meanings.  When I say ‘Homer’, I could be referring to Mr. Simpson himself (or Mr. Plow if you prefer).  Conversely, I could be referring to when a player hits the ball out of the park.  That would make sense given the context but I’m not going that route either.  Even further, I could be referring to the Greek poet but we all know I’m not smart enough for that reference.  Or better yet, since we’re talking about a Padre, I could be referring to Jaywrong and his dirty affliction for all things Friars.  But nay, I talk not of any of these things.  I’m here to talk about being a homer like I’m a rapper and I get to make shizz up.  I’m gonna call Yonder Alonso a homer for the coming week for 2013 fantasy baseball and if you’d like to find out why, you’ll have to read on into the next paragraph.  Be careful with that first step and I’ll meet you there!

So yeah, a homer.  I’m gonna say a homer is short for a Homeschooler this week.  Yeah, I tricked you and made this completely anti-climatic.  Mea culpa, my fine feathered friends but I’m a writer on a prestigious fantasy site so I have a little artistic freedom and I’m choosing to use it on this…yeah, that’s it.  But in reality, here’s why I’m calling Alonso a pick up this week: he’s at home.  Boom son!  Analysis done *drops mic*.  Really, that’s what Yonder has going for him.  I know what you’re going to say ‘why is hitting in Petco for 6 days a good thing’?  That’s a good question and not one I can honestly answer but the stats say that’s exactly where Yonder likes it.  Now granted, the sample size is small – that’s what she said! – but in 104 at-bats this season, Alonso carries a .298/.345/.462 slashline to go with 4 HRs and 5 doubles.  I hear ya, you’re snoring.  I get it.  I’m not all that tickled about him this week either but we’re at week 18, people!  Want me to tell you to pick up the guys Grey has already mentioned 5 times this week?  Is 6 the magical number to get you to pick up Henry UrrutiaChigger please!  In fact, Grey’s already told you to buy Yonder on Friday so if you don’t like the call, you can blame him as well.  You’re either with us or with the terrorists!  But more to the point, I like Yonder’s chance at giving us a HR and maybe a steal this week (he has 3 in July already) or as I like to call it ‘your every other week with Shin-Soo ChooSo if you believe there’s no place like home and absence from it makes the heart go Yonder, go for Alsonso this week.

62 Responses

  1. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    Yeah, but would you play him over Kendry this week?

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: this isn’t a Jay Wrong Padres you and all things Seattle kinda thing

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          We had a Bring It On moment. My spirit fingers won out.

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: Jazz Hands!

            yesterday’s watching a college football game conversation got me jonesing for the upcoming college season……

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              I’m a little worried about the Ducks for this season. Could be a long one.

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Sky: I haven’t looked this forward to a season in a long time. The Bruins are rising and the recruiting is getting better

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  The one thing this gig does to me is leave very little time to actually keep up with the college game. Who you got winning the PAC this year?

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: It’s tough these days, UCLA should win the south, i still think you guys have far more talent than Stanford and UDUB, butI think you guys play us for the title. I still have a hard time with Stanford doing so well at such an academically tough school. Sarkisian has done well recruiting up north, but do they have what it takes to equate it to consistent wins

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Yeah I hear ya on UW. I think consistency is pretty key in college, though. For that I give the nod to Stanford.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: fuck the Cardinal and there dirty brand of pool…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      They totally cheat…on their PHD reviews

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: we got no love in Palo Alton last year by the Zebras, and for some reason no one else did either. I hate that shit

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Good ole home town cooking. Admittedly the Ducks get their fair share of that as well, though the other team starts playing timid, hard for refs to give it to you if you play that way.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: UCLA gets no love, and I ain’t crazy, I know plenty of avid PAC 12 college watchers who have even pointed it out when our teams play each other. We get some calls but they are few and far between, Ithink it’s because our AD is an asshole

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Oh I believe you 100%. Part of it could be favoritism too seeing as they haven’t been a huge name for a while. Ducks had to fight and claw for that respect for a while.

  2. Rob says:
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    Two questions:

    Better side in a Goldschmidt/Jackson for Bautista/Choo trade

    and

    Beachy or Nova?

    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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      @Rob: Goldy side and Nova

  3. elvis a bust says:
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    SKY,

    SP to own…conflicted?
    … CHATWOOD, E.JACKSON, PERALTA, WORKMAN ,or Tommy HANSON. Im in a pickle this week to see who to go with. Can you serve me up some juicey wisdom

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @elvis a bust: Peralta…E-Jax……………………….the rest of those schlubs.

  4. Happy Sunday!

    Who do you think is a better starter for next week?

    cain – @Phi
    verlander – Was

    Cain has been more encouraging recently, but Verlander is in a much better park.

    I feel like Cain is gonna give up a couple bombs.

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        @gbaked: Ride the hot hand and go w/Archer

  5. T Moore says:
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    Sky: Got Yonder going… 4 RBIs yesterday… Thank you very much, Mr Alonso.. About my only RBIs – another story of MAGPIE woe…

    But, talking about Yonder makes me sad… It was one of the first times, I spoke with the now missing Mr Wrong….

    I have been spending a lot of money and time keeping a candle burning night and day next to my puter to give light to his return…

    ANOTHER AMAZING RAZZBALL RANDOM FACT – Did you know candles cause 10% of residential fires and 6% of fire related fatalities in the USA annually… WOW!!

    It is worth the risk, if my little Star of the Show, would just come back to RazzBall…

    Even that nasty mean Mr Grey said, he could come back if he wanted to…

    Signed: Lonesome and in need of Mr Wrong’s MAGPIE mojo… (( Whenever he leaves my team tanks.. Not that I listen to a thing he says… His just being here is all it takes))

    Mr. JAY WRONG!!! COME BACK!!!…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6pIGyEacxw

    • T Moore says:
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      @T Moore:

      I was POed to see Miggy’s line yesterday… As, I had held him out after getting burned on Friday… Wish the tiggers would get the word out on him better..

      Yonder went in for him kinda and did a good job… O, well

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @T Moore: I now picture you as a very grainy, pixelated buck-toothed boy…

      I’ve heard Mr. Wrong is off wandering the world, finding himself. Last I heard from him was a telegram:

      Dear Susannah,

      l have become a hunter.

      Tell Grey there are creatures here that cannot even be found in books.

      And l have killed them all.

      Susannah, all we had is dead …

      … as l am dead.

      Marry another.

      I didn’t know we were engaged nor why he kept calling me Susannah but hopefully we see him again shortly.

      • T Moore says:
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        @Sky: \

        Sky or Susannah (WOW): A very good reply… Thanks for sharing that…

        That was me posting from the other-side (It s always grainy from there)… Don’t get your hopes up … Because, in my now-earthy manifestation, I’m an old smelly geezer…

        I picked up Lake and he’s quickly gone south… Is this a permanent condition IYO???

    • Jay

      jaywrong says:
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      @T Moore: Did someone ring?

      • T Moore says:
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        @jaywrong:

        Mr Wrong: I’m upset with you… Taking off on a safari to only the Gods know where in the middle of my FBB season – one that you know is in crisis…

        My desk, puter screen and keyboard are covered with melted candle wax… It’s all over the place … And I loath the smell of candles too…

        Send or posts pictures of your kills… That sorta stuff really gets my fires burning…

        I always saw you as more of a Bring’m-Back-Alive type…

        Get back here soon… The MAGPIES need some Wrong mojo

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          I’m just gonna leave you two alone for a bit…

  6. Captain Kangaroo says:
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    C.C. or Lester ROS?

  7. Dan says:
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    Need 1st base help. Who should i grab for rest of season.

    Available:

    M. Carp
    E. Chavez
    A. Lind
    Y. Alonso
    M. Adams

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Dan: ROS I still like Lind

  8. steve b says:
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    I’m sure your an allright sky but please stick to football . On this site I expect everything to be as good as Grey and that doesn’t happen .At least Rudy is himself but most of you other writers try to be Grey jr. .Nothing personal but be yourselves

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      My wife once read some of Greys writing. She said he sounds like me. I’ll take her opinion of who I am and what kind of writer I was before even having read this site over yours, thank you very much. I.E., you don’t know me and get a ‘whatever dude’ for that pointless comment. Move along.

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: I have never thought to myself that anyone here, Grey included, were re-making the wheel. The style is very contemporary and down right entertaining. Some f**king people!

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Ha yeah. I’m fine if you wanna say ‘similar style’. But I just got called Oasis by a Beatles fan…BS

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: if it wasn’t choke full of pop culture references, bad jokes, good jokes, sarcasm, hilarious and sometimes scary links, portmanteaus, senseless diversions with zero relevance to the piece and inside jokes then it wouldn’t be the razz

            Those that fail to get the full razz are doomed to be slaves of E$PN for eternity

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Well we can’t all be Skip Bayless, I’ll tell you that much.

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Sky: my daughter should be surpassing his analysis by next year and she doesn’t even watch sports, just ask her to pick the picture she likes and she’s better than him

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  She might still pick Tebow, though. Handsome devil…err, Angel.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: he’s going to have 9 receiving TD’s and 5 on the ground this year

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      And they’ll all be blessed by the an Angel…who’s actually just Belichick in a white hoodie and flood lights behind him but don’t tell Tebow that.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I know it’s easy, and hilarious, to pick on him and his faith show, but I would like to point out that he is a part of that new breed of Christians that took something personal and spiritual and made it something you put on T-shirts, bumper stickers and a hashtag in front of. And it only fuesl the ridiculous notion of all I need to do is believe and I’m forgiven so there are absolutely no consequences to my actions or greed or “mistakes”. God damn Neo-Christians, messing it up for the humble old schoolers who, you may not agree with their faith, keep it to themselves and let others lead their own lives to make their own decisions and deal with the consequences. This “lets shove it down their throats” culture that has bled everywhere makes me :(

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: what’s the special person emoticon?

    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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      @steve b: that was pretty pointless, you can just say nothing and keep your little comments to yourself

  9. Joe says:
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    Who would you pick up; Yonder Alonso, Evan Gettis, Shane Victorino, Chase Headley, or Willin Rosario?

    Here’s the rest of my lineup:

    C- Carlos Santana

    1b- Paul goldschmidnt

    2b- Aaron hill(but also have Ben zobrist)

    3b- David wright

    Ss- Ian Desmond

    IF- mike Napoli

    OF- Giancarlo Stanton

    Of- Alex Rios

    OF- Dom brown(but now on 7 day DL

    OF- Puig

    Utility- Adam Dunn

    Bench- Matt kemp (DL), Jason Heyward, zobrist, Ike Davis

    - would you keep Dunn around or drop him? I’m thinking of also dropping Ike

    Also keep Aaron hill or drop him; who do you like better ROS: Zobrist or Hill?

    Thanks

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Gattis. Lose Davis. Hold on the rest

  10. Matt says:
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    How would you rank these four then?

    thank you for the help

    Schierholtz vs Righties, Saunders, brantley, fat adams

    7×7 with obp and slg

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Brantley Saunders Schierholtz Adams

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Simply amazing that for such a raw band during that time they still were one of the tightest groups around. Seriously one of the greatest bands of all time

      • JoeMorgan'sMustache says:
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        @Sky: Totally agree. Been jammin to Opiate off and on all day. Guess I just was just in the mood for some old school stuff. Also, I think I’ve listened to “Hush” at least 10 times today. Let’s make it 11….

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjogsOA66mY

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Early stuff I always had Bottom as my favorite song. One of those riffs you learn to play on guitar that just feels badass when you play it even if the amps aren’t on. Always gets me pumped.

  11. Frank White says:
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    Sup Sky… Who do you like better to pickup cause I need to drop Smoak. Yonder, Nick Franklin, Schierholz or Carlos Quentin?? The guys you mentioned were taken

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Franklin

  12. Ron says:
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    I’m fishing for advice from any anf everyone. Offers are on the table. I’m in first place (humble brag) but I am treading water to hold on to that spot. Need your help down the stretch.

    My OFs: Bautista, Bruce, Holliday, Harper, Cespedes, Fowler, Eric Young
    My RPs: Putz and Henderson

    1) Would you trade Harper for Holland and Perkins/Reed? (If yes, Perkins OR Reed?)
    2) Wold you trade Cespedes straight up for Holland?
    3) IF both of these make sense which one do I do first?

    Thanks!!

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Ron: I don’t like either of those trades for you. If you’re in first, I don’t see why you’re trying to give away offense for an SP3…

      • Ron says:
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        @Sky: Should have clarified….Thats Greg Holland.

        I lose Saves every week and was thinking I needed to move a bench bat to try and compete in that category. Flawed thinking a little there??

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          You play in an H2H league and are in first and you lose saves every week…that should tell you something. Saves are random, you can’t count on them from week to week any better then you can steals. Just keep your eyes open on backups who might take the job via trade/injury.

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