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So I understand Eduardo Nunez is not American born – from the Dominican Republic – but Michelle was a mixed up translation, right?  Like the person working on his passport just got lazy and it’s actually ‘Miguel’ or ‘Mario’, right?  I’m trying to find the right answer for a man having Michelle anywhere in his name, I’ll take any excuse within reason.  Did his Mom really just want a daughter?  I understand you will grow up and be a strong man one day, Eduardo, but I want you to remember how pretty you were for your quinceanera.  Dios mio, you were gorgeous in that red gown!  That’s Eduardo’s mother reminding him why everyone picks on him in the Yankees clubhouse.  Forget the nickname ‘Nuni’, I think we’re just gonna have to start calling him ‘Shelly’ or ‘Elle’ or ‘Elly’.  But why do we need to know this man/woman’s name you ask?  Well you’ll have to read to find out, silly!  So let’s take a look why Shelly should be on your fantasy rosters for week 4 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season…

Let me preface this with this may not be the sexiest pick ever.  Though this might be the sexiest pic ever.  At least when I googled ‘Sexiest Pic Ever’ that was part of the results and Google doesn’t lie.  We don’t sell your information to third party affiliates!  Our third party affiliates sell your info to third party affiliates, snitches!  Google needs to work on it’s official press releases.  But back to Shelly, I know and understand this pick isn’t going to be for everyone.  Heck, it might not even be for me but there’s a reason I’m suggesting you pick up a guy with a .233 average and only 2 RBIs and 4 runs on the season and it’s because, ZZ Top, he’s got legs and he knows how to use them.  In 478 career at-bats, Shelly has stolen 39 bases.  Yes, yes before you say it, that could very well be a misleading stat seeing as he’s pinch run for a few guys in his career.  That’s what happens when you’re 26 and your surrounding team is applying for medicare.  And there’s ball 4 to Travis Hafner who exchanges the bat for a walker with the bat-boy.  It’s how these things go and I don’t have the time to do more research than I already did on this subject so take whatcha got y’all!  Let’s just say he’s actually stolen 28 of those bases while getting on base by himself and call it even.  The key thing to realize here is he’s a base stealing threat and he’s coming into a schedule that has – so far – been friendly to opposing base stealers.  The Blue Jays and the Rays have given up a combined 25 stolen bases on the year to date in 31 games.  That’s almost a steal a game for you non-math people and 0.8 steals per game for those who like it when someone talks nerdy to you.  If you’re in need of steals and a middle infielder to boot, Shelly is only 1.5% owned in ESPN leagues and 7% in Yahoo.  His mom will be so proud you picked up her pretty little boy.

77 Responses

  1. Jay

    jaywrong says:
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    You forgot Gonzalez at the end of the surname there.

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: so stereotypical with those names, why don’t you throw in a Rodriguez….now a good german one thrown really is common

  2. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    just checked my e-mail and that ridiculous 20 teamer is dropping the veto on other peoples trades, i think I started something in there that is going to lead to a little chaos

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Jack Full of Hate: Sounds like that league needs a bit of a shakeup; glad to hear it!

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: Oh not that way, people are vetoeing and posting and kinda being dicks about it. One guy that defended mine threw down a Veto for a guy that vetoes mine….yo, he’s got my back

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Ha nice. Good, I hope it sours the experience for the schmucks involved with douche-baggery. Sounds like the league needs a shakeup from the top down.

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: Jack leaves a trail of change everywhere he goes

            Guru is using my daily jam or cram it idea

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              Crop dusting leagues…

              Nice, what’s the suggestion?

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Sky: daily cram it or jam it….you hitting the IPA early

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Are you telling me today’s post was your suggestion? Thought you were saying you made a suggestion for next week. It’s never too early for an IPA

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I told him a while back that he should do the daily cram it or jam it and now he does it every day

                    • VinWins

                      VinWins says:
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                      @Jack Full of Hate: So, you’re saying you make this suggestion every day?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      You sound like his pimp

                    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                      @Jack Full of Hate: no, damn, is this confusing, i thought it was a good idea to take the article to a daily, thought it would be a fun follow on twitter

                    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                      @Jack Full of Hate: wait, is this the first time he does this, I just started following him on twitter today…ok, I’m an idiot

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Now who’s drinking to early

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I pimp razzball more than my ho’s

                    • The Guru

                      The Guru says:
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                      My ears be burnin’. Started a jam or cram on twitter last Monday.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I think it’s because I’m not drinking, hit the bong for bong and baseball sunday….do any of you guys follow the guru on twitter?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I follow many Gurus on twitter. My favorite is Kumare.

                      In seriousness I think I’m following him. But by saying that its clear if I am following him, I’m not following him closely. You follow?

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: Im the Caboose

  3. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    I guess if he’s bugging you every day, Guru, easier to just give in.

    • Jack Full of Hate says:
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      @VinWins: chingao

      • VinWins

        VinWins says:
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        @Jack Full of Hate: Fortunately, I’m not cool enough to know what you are saying.

        • Jack Full of Hate says:
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          @VinWins: sorry, it’s a mexican thing

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I liked his suggestion. But he was at the foot of my bed when he made it.

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        Many good suggestions are made from that very spot

        • Jack Full of Hate says:
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          @Sky: you should know, but sky, whats with the nightgown?

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            It matches best with the color of lipstick I’m wearing.

            • Jack Full of Hate says:
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              @Sky: thats why your eyes sparkle a little more

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                Thank you for noticing *blushes*

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @The Guru: Its hard damn work to stalk four different guys all over the country, but my frequent flyer miles are blowing up

  4. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    someone dropped Gatis in one of my leagues, am I missing something here

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Away from my scientific research station (read: my computer) but I think it’s Freeman back tomorrow. It’ll cut into his PT a bit and he’s still not a FT player when McCann comes back. A little preemptive, but that’s the mindset.

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Sky: I figured that, i read that they are going to try and get him regular at bats and ease McCann back. Could they give him day’s at first

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          They might but Freeman doesn’t typically miss that much time. I think he’s played a bit of third as well, if I’m not mistaken but in the end, probably only of interest in deeper leagues once McCann is back.

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Sky: I hear, ya, I might grab to see how they work it out. It’s like owning didi right now, hits well but won’t play every day.

            what was with the confusion today?

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              When I’m on my phone, I see every comment but nothing is connected like you see on the website. And honestly, when you said that, I thought you meant he was doing a topic next week you suggested in his comments. I searched and saw stuff about Girch.

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Sky: a ha, I remember grey telling me that last year, he just gave me a thanks for the idea in our conversation today… It’s good to be recognized * eyes start to gloss up*

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Nice! We try and please Grey weekly, it’s a tough chore. Fucking ONE brown M&M and he straight loses it.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: are you saying Grey is a prima donna?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Two sugars, very little cream and extra hot. I learned the difference between ‘extra’ and ‘very’ when he threw it in my face.

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: I know I have referenced swimming with sharks before, but don’t use it as a game plan

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      @Jack Full of Hate: True, it might be better if I started sleeping my way to the top instead.

              • The Guru

                The Guru says:
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                Jam it or Cram it: Bobby Grich vs Rick Burleson

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Grich wins by a ‘Stache hair

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Sky: Grich for sure, unless it’s a who looks like a redneck competition

  5. Razz says:
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    Weekly 5×5 league…

    Pick 2 of these 3 catchers for the upcoming week:

    7 games for Wieters
    6 games for Buck
    6 games for Gattis

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Weiters and Buck

  6. Brandon says:
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    head to head points league..Should I drop Salvador Perez for Arencibia? Perez obviously will give way more average…but worth the pop?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      If Arencibia is still out there 3 weeks in, your league is shallow enough to make that move. Go for it

  7. Marti says:
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    pick 1 for the week jayson werth or Ike davis

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Risky bit I’d Ike it up this week

  8. Chris says:
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    In an AL only league would you rather have Nunez or Stephen Drew to fill in while Jeter’s out?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Chris: I’d go Nunez there

  9. Frank Lynch says:
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    I’m throwing out there to see if you think I should add on my team- Jhoulys chachin DL, Wade davis, Corbin, De la Rosa. Hammel, Jamie Garcia, Tommy Hanson n Yin Chen.. Anyone you like for my pitching squad?

    • Frank Lynch says:
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      Samardzija
      Iwakuma
      Brett Anderson
      Aj Griffen
      Shelby Miller
      MatLatos
      Dempster
      Mujica
      Jim Henderson
      JJ Putz

  10. Frank Lynch says:
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    Oh I also got trade proposal. I would get Matt Cain for Beltran n aj griffen or Anderson.. U like? I need to loose a OF anyway cause I got, J Upton, MCcutchen, Holliday,Crawford, Beltran, Gardner

    • Frank Lynch says:
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      Oh my bad I forgot, He can give me Halladay instead of Cain but, Cain right?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Frank Lynch: Cain has a 7.15 ERA right now. They’re asking too much if they want Beltran and other parts. How many OF do you start?

      • Frank Lynch says:
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        I have 3 of’s i start then the 2 utility’s i usually use 2 of’s then Gardner i usually bench + segura n mark Reynolds but he’s now starting for zimmerman. I hate to bench segura though that’s why i think i could lose a OF ya know.. Do you like Beltran n Griffen for Cain or should i give him Anderson instead of Griffen? Oh i got Reyes on DL TOO..

        • Frank Lynch says:
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          Yeah n I’m getting beat up in this h2h points league cause all the points seem to come from pitching so i feel like i need a good reliable pitcher that gonna get me allot of wins. A win is 20 points by itself without the extra points for innings n strikeouts

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          @Frank Lynch: Sure, Beltran and Anderson for Cain. Go for it.

  11. Frank Lynch says:
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    Grey told me I should drop Anderson anyway. Idk if u agree but I’m all ears. LOL

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Frank Lynch: Anderson is an injury risk but I like him better than the guys you listed. I’d hold, personally, unless he goes on the DL.

  12. Frank Lynch says:
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    Thanks man!! Appreciate it. Oh when sent you those pithchers I forgot to add a couple of relievers that are available.. O Flaherty, Herrera, Cassila, O’day, n Stultz.. Didn’t know if any of them are diamonds in the dirt?.. I don’t know any of them.. LOL

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Frank Lynch: Unless it’s a holds league, you don’t need a middle reliever.

  13. Maestro says:
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    In a H2H points league where counting stats for hitters are BA, TB, SB-CS, RBI, Runs and for pitchers – ERA, Wins, Loss, K’s, QS, S, BS, etc.

    Should I trade Sale for Bourn? Am I getting enough? I currently have Sale

    Current pitchers include: Lackey, Dickey (that was by accident, but kinda funny), Dubront, Fister, Griffin & McCallsiter

    Current players in one of my DH spots are: Carter, Chisenhall, Hosmer, Montero, I. Susuki, Peralta, Keppinger

    I feel Bourn is an upgrade to the above list but don’t know if it is enough of an upgrade to make up the difference b/n Sale and my 3rd or 4th starter (have to start 3-4 SP’s weekly).

    Thx.
    Thanks.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @Maestro: I take it this is an AL-Only league…I’d want a bigger haul back for Sale, personally. He’s a borderline ace if he stays healthy. You should be getting a bigger haul IMHO.

  14. Frank Lynch says:
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    Het is there anything wrong with O’Flaherty on Atlanta? He’s got the highest fantasy points outta all relievers on waivers.. Oh also, how you feel about this trade? I would be giving MCcutchen, AJ Griffen n Mark Reynolds for David Wright, Halladay n Cingrani??? My out field is stacked with J Upton, Holliday, Crawford, Beltran, Gardner n MCcutchen.. My pitching
    Latos
    Hammel
    AJ Griffen
    Iwakuma
    Shelby Miller
    Samardzija
    Dempster
    Mujica
    Putz
    Jim Henderson

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      There’s nothing wrong with O’Flaherty…but it doesn’t mean anything saying he’s the top FA in points. He’s a middle reliever, that’s all.

      That’s an awful trade. I’d want McCutchen.

      • Frank Lynch says:
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        Really.. I’m just looking for good pitching.. What if I replaced Halladay for Cain?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Cain is better…

          • Frank Lynch says:
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            Thanks guys.. LOL I send the same message to a couple of u to get different views sometimes. Can’t hurt

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