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So I understand Eduardo Nunez is not American born – from the Dominican Republic – but Michelle was a mixed up translation, right?  Like the person working on his passport just got lazy and it’s actually ‘Miguel’ or ‘Mario’, right?  I’m trying to find the right answer for a man having Michelle anywhere in his name, I’ll take any excuse within reason.  Did his Mom really just want a daughter?  I understand you will grow up and be a strong man one day, Eduardo, but I want you to remember how pretty you were for your quinceanera.  Dios mio, you were gorgeous in that red gown!  That’s Eduardo’s mother reminding him why everyone picks on him in the Yankees clubhouse.  Forget the nickname ‘Nuni’, I think we’re just gonna have to start calling him ‘Shelly’ or ‘Elle’ or ‘Elly’.  But why do we need to know this man/woman’s name you ask?  Well you’ll have to read to find out, silly!  So let’s take a look why Shelly should be on your fantasy rosters for week 4 of the 2013 fantasy baseball season…

Let me preface this with this may not be the sexiest pick ever.  Though this might be the sexiest pic ever.  At least when I googled ‘Sexiest Pic Ever’ that was part of the results and Google doesn’t lie.  We don’t sell your information to third party affiliates!  Our third party affiliates sell your info to third party affiliates, snitches!  Google needs to work on it’s official press releases.  But back to Shelly, I know and understand this pick isn’t going to be for everyone.  Heck, it might not even be for me but there’s a reason I’m suggesting you pick up a guy with a .233 average and only 2 RBIs and 4 runs on the season and it’s because, ZZ Top, he’s got legs and he knows how to use them.  In 478 career at-bats, Shelly has stolen 39 bases.  Yes, yes before you say it, that could very well be a misleading stat seeing as he’s pinch run for a few guys in his career.  That’s what happens when you’re 26 and your surrounding team is applying for medicare.  And there’s ball 4 to Travis Hafner who exchanges the bat for a walker with the bat-boy.  It’s how these things go and I don’t have the time to do more research than I already did on this subject so take whatcha got y’all!  Let’s just say he’s actually stolen 28 of those bases while getting on base by himself and call it even.  The key thing to realize here is he’s a base stealing threat and he’s coming into a schedule that has – so far – been friendly to opposing base stealers.  The Blue Jays and the Rays have given up a combined 25 stolen bases on the year to date in 31 games.  That’s almost a steal a game for you non-math people and 0.8 steals per game for those who like it when someone talks nerdy to you.  If you’re in need of steals and a middle infielder to boot, Shelly is only 1.5% owned in ESPN leagues and 7% in Yahoo.  His mom will be so proud you picked up her pretty little boy.