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How old do you have to be to get the title?  I’m gonna guess at least over 30.  Clearly I’m dating myself…no I don’t mean that in a narcissistic way, I’m simply claiming old-fogeyness over here.  I say that because I want a simple raising of the hands: how many of you knew the singer/rapper of Rico Suave wasn’t actually Rico Suave but in fact Gerardo?  Mmm-hmm, go ahead and put your hand down, I can see you still have pimples.  You too, I can tell you can’t legally drink a beer by your One Direction t-shirt.  It’s ok, you aren’t going to impress me by knowing, though you COULD impress me by having better musical taste.  Don’t go laughing at Gerardo and hum ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ with the same mouth, kiddo.  I just wanted a feel for how close I am to cultural irrelevance and know now I’m at death’s door.  Duly noted.  If you think our pal JFOH wouldn’t make the same old musical reference well…you don’t know JFOH.  Yes, I’m subbing in for our resident hater as he told me he was gonna go do something in Brazil this weekend.  Something about blowouts and waxes, I think.  But yeah, you don’t care about my impending demise, a bad rap song from the early 90s, or JFOH’s hair stylings, you came to talk creeper and it’s high time we get to it.  So let’s keep with what the title tells me we should talk about and look at why Eugenio Suarez is a solid pick up for week 14 of the 2014 Fantasy Baseball season…

So this creeper goes out to all those people who owns a guy like Danny Santana, Jedd Gyorko, Kolten Wong or Brett Lawrie…oh wait, that’s me!  *Sobs uncontrollably*.  Middle infield can be middling at best.  It’s a sad day when you’re excited to own a guy like Gordon Beckham because he bats second every day while hitting .261.  There’s nothing like streaming a good bat at the MI position for the week and getting a little pop while you’re at it and I think Eugenio is set to give you a week like that.  Though the sampling be small, Suarez is hitting lefties well.  Don’t just stare at the .267 average when you consider that statement.  Over a minor number of ABs/PA, Suarez has a .400 ISO and a whopping .479 wOBA.  At first I thought maybe the numbers were too small and could be skewed so I decided to see what he did down on the farm vs southpaws and was relieved to find a .429 average against them to go with 2 HRs and 2 doubles to go with a 1.000 SLG%.  Given that Detroit should face four lefties over their six games this week, I could see you getting a HR or maybe two and a solid average from a guy who’s only 3.6% owned as of Saturday in ESPN leagues.

Bonus Creeping

Andre Ethier/Scott Van Slyke – If you can make some mid-week moves or roster both, this one could pay divvies.  Ethier gets some so-so Cleveland arms outside of Kluber to start the week and then the weekend is in Colorado where three of the four arms should be lefties and they’ll all be Friday thru Sunday.

Conor Gillaspie – I honestly have no analysis here except for the fact that Rudy might in fact be the greatest internet engineer of fantasy baseball robots.  I think they call them Internengineers which if said fast makes it sound like there’s ‘ninja’ in there which makes it all the more worthwhile to say.  All that said, he has Conor ranked mighty high in his weekly hitter rankings for next week on the Hitter-Tron so don’t be surprised if Conor goes goner a few times over those fences.

  1. arkham says:
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    I have Suarez and like the idea of four lefty matchups (though two of them are vs Kazmir and Price) but also have Mookie Betts and Brad Miller as SS/MI options. Who would you sit out of the three?

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      miller for me

  2. J-FOH says:
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    Thanks for the pinch hit today. I am now completely free of all hair below my neck…I’m as smooth as a baby all over. *grabs baby oil*

    I’m old enough to remember Rico Gerardo.

    I love the bonus creeper, it sounds better than others under consideration. consider it changed.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      @J-FOH: Haha, I didn’t check how you did those if/when you did but I examined those guys first before settling on Suarez.

      It’s summer, without all that hair, whip out the slip ‘n’ slide and see if you can hit mach 5

  3. Llewellyn says:
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    Yo Sky, unrelated question: Golanco for Heyward?

    10 teamer with some unenlightened owners – should I aim higher or am I reaching already?

    Sanks

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Llewellyn: I like Polanco

  4. SwaggerJackers says:
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    Eugenio or Scooter in an OBP league ROS?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @SwaggerJackers: scooter but he sits vs Lefties

      • SwaggerJackers says:
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        @J-FOH: Thanks Full of Hate.

        Since it’s a weekly lock league, is Scooter a viable option?

        • J-FOH says:
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          @SwaggerJackers: It really depends on the matchups for the week. If he faces 5 or 6 right handers then it might be worth it.

          • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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            @J-FOH: yes about scooter, but wasn’t the whole point of eugenio is that he’s only good at lefties?

  5. SMLV1 says:
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    My Choo and Wright for his Puig and Sandoval?

    Stanton, Rios, Springer, Polanco and Moss 1B/OF are my other OFs. We only start 3 but I have 2 Util spots.

    Rest of team – Molina, Goldy, Dozier, Andrus and Rizzo

    • J-FOH says:
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      @SMLV1: I’d take Puig side but I don’t see why the other owner would.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @J-FOH: i doubt he’d take choo and wright for puig alone.

      • SMLV1 says:
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        @J-FOH: Sadly he did. I didn’t even offer the trade. My OF will now consist of Stanton, Puig, Rios, Polanco, Springer and or Moss. :)

        • J-FOH says:
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          @SMLV1: wow, what a moron, Good grab for you. Now go get a lottery ticket and wait for some hot lonely housewife to pick you up and buy you things in exchange for lovin.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            That’s the Cougar way

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: thats why they call you Grey “Cougar Kryptonite” Albright

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                They melt at the mere sight

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Grey: I’ve seen your boyish good looks in person so I get it. Why do you think I bring you bottles of e-juice

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Rawr! You’re welcome!

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @Grey: I’ve always been a sucker for pizza bagels

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