In a crazy day of trading, the blockbuster has to be David Price heading to the Tigers. Though, I’m not sure blockbuster is the right word anymore. Blockbuster is so 80’s. Blockbuster sold out to a fro-yo chain and is Blockberry now, isn’t it? The Netflix deal of the day? The Hulu pause-for-three-ads-every-five-minutes trade of the day? The Redbox snatch and grab? See, I wasn’t even talking about the trade in that last one. I wonder if Josh Reddick ever rubs up against a Redbox. Any the hoo! The Tigers rotation is now Price, Anibal, Verlander and Scherzer. Well, you got two aces again! Unless Tim McCarver is announcing and still thinks Verlander and Anibal are aces. As for fantasy, this does nothing to Price’s value. Maybe now that he doesn’t have a manager pulling names out of a hat for a lineup, he might get a few more wins, but did his bullpen get noticeably better? Eh. Did his division become noticeably easier? Eh, his career ERA vs. the White Sox and Indians is worse than his ERA vs. the Red Sox. That’s kinda irrelevant though, these are different teams then he faced previously. In all, it’s a solid lateral trade for Price’s value, but he was already a top arm in the game. No one is happier to see Price than the Tigers Assistant GM, Ted DiBiase. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Austin Jackson – 2-for-4, 1 RBI, then traded to the Mariners in the Price trade. Feel bad for those of you that were drinking James Jones’s Kool-Aid in Seattle, because his fantasy is dead now. Hopefully he left behind his earth skin so Jackson can stay warm at night. “Does this earth skin have any pockets?” Jackson’s fantasy value takes a bit of a hit with this move. The Tigers were in the top five for offense and the Mariners are bottom five. Safeco is a ‘co park and Comerica was built for Co’MURICA.
Ezequiel Carrera – With the movement by Jackson — hey, open a window! — Rajai Davis will face lefties and the Tigers called up his platoon partner, Ezequiel Carrera, which sounds like an Amish carriage made by Porsche. Like any well-built carriage, Carrera’s got speed to burn — 43 steals in the minors this year. Worth a look in AL-Only and deep leagues hurting for SAGNOF.
Drew Smyly – 5 IP, 4 ER, 11 baserunners, 2 Ks, then was traded to the Rays. Maddon told the media his tarot card reader turned over the smiling sun card that was hand-drawn in marker on a Frisbee and just knew the Rays had to get Smyly. Smyly was good in Comerica, but doesn’t have huge road/home splits. His lefty/righty splits, on the other hand, well, making him a LOOGY might not be such a bad idea. I’m sure Maddon will try it at some point.
Nick Franklin – Also headed to the Rays in Price’s trade. I could see the Rays and Franklin writing themselves a nice little romance novel with a foreword by Zobrist. I get the feeling about this time next year, we’re going to be saying the Mariners should’ve just played Franklin and kept Miller and Chris Taylor-Stiller as floaters in the middle infield office pool. Franklin has 15 homer and 10-steal speed and could be Zobrist as soon as next year. For now, he’s a flyer in keepers.
J.D. Martinez – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 14th homer. Looked like J.D. was on the rocks, but he’s straight up still hitting, go ahead and put that on Tumblr.
Adam Eaton – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th steal, hitting near-.450 in the last week. Ever since he hurt his finger, he’s been lights out. Someone should consider wrapping him in mummy gauze. He’d be amazing!
Yoenis Cespedes – Heads to the Red Sox for Lester. Beane just couldn’t handle having a guy with no platoon splits. “I need to get Vogt, Jaso and Norris playing time, and that’s just my catchers! I got no time for an everyday player!” When you have 12 capable outfielders you just feel invincible like Mark Wahlberg in bell bottoms. Excuse me, 13 outfielders since Beane added the other rotating outfielder in Jonny Gomes. “If I could get Jed Lowrie to play shortstop and right field, we’d be set! Wait, what’s that, Jonah Hill, we can get Sam Fuld? Do it!” As for Cespedes, this is a nice boost in venue. I could see him flipping his bat, thinking he hit a pop-up, to only realize that he just flipped his bat for a homer. Hello, liners off the Green Monster! Amiright? Of course, I am, that’s why I said it. Unfortch, the boost in venue, could be counteracted by the weaker lineup. For this year, I’ll say it’s a push for Cespedes’s value.
Jon Lester – Leaving the Red Sox in the Cespedes trade was Lester. The long vowels in Lester’s name always screwed up Red Sox fans anyway, not to mention, Lester will prolly return to Boston this offseason, so this was a rental. Redbox? Okay, I’m done with that. Lester hasn’t pitched particularly great in O.co, but that was against the A’s, so I usually don’t pay attention to those numbers. He’ll be on a winning club and has pitched terrifically this year, so Lester will be fine. Or F-I-N-E if Toni Braxton is reading.
Sam Fuld – Traded back to the A’s for a player to be named later in this roundup. Gardy was Fuld up with Sam, “We don’t know what to do with a guy that doesn’t play infield but hits like an infielder.” I’m surprised the A’s took another chance on Fuld. I mean, what can they do with a platoon player? Oh, I know — play him every day for one at-bat here and two at-bats there. Novel concept for the A’s. Soon the A’s are going to have different hitters for different pitches. “Okay, Fuld, nice 2-0 count, we need to get Reddick in there on a fastball count.”
Jesse Chavez – Traded to the bullpen for a shrug of the shoulders by the manager. He can be dropped in most leagues.
John Lackey – Red Sox sent him to the Cards. I was hoping to see a Boston Globe headline, “Red Sox Make Out, Swap Pitch.” Alas, no dice. Lackey’s interleague ERA was 3.07, which again means little. Just worth noting, so I noted it. Lackey’s pitched like a solid number three with a 7.6 K/9, 2.1 BB/9 and a 3.35 xFIP. I could see him running off a month or two of a sub-3 ERA in the NL. Lackey? I likey.
Oscar Taveras – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. With the trade of Allen Craig, Taveras stands to see everyday playing time. I hope he’s standing, at least. If not, I question his motivation. No, he’s standing. He’s even hitting homers. You see that? I just need to ask and I receive. A million dollars. And, I guess that was the end of my ability to get what I want. Sad emoticon with a winking eye that is actually a twitch. I’d grab Taveras in all leagues, but, with playing time, doesn’t necessarily guarantee fantasy value. It is a damn good start in the right direction.
Allen Craig – Went with Joe Kelly to the Red Sox in the Lackey trade. Red Sox stocking up on two first name players. Must be Fred Lynn and George Scott nostalgia. Hopefully turns out better than their Mike Cameron/J.D. Drew gambit. Craig had a nice value change in his move. No longer will he be rotating between outfield, bench and Matt Adams’s moob clasper. He should slide into the everyday lineup in Boston and I immediately picked him up in my RCL.
Joe Kelly – Also went to the Sox to slide into their rotation and be the new Grand Marshall of the Boston Marathon.
Anthony Ranaudo – Will start today for the Sox since they cut half their staff like Lorena Bobbitt was their GM. Ranaudo had a 2.41 ERA in Triple-A, but a 3.7 BB/9 and looks like he could be Rubby De La Rosa, the Second. Or Rubbier. I’d take a flyer on Ranaudo in AL-Only leagues, but I wouldn’t touch him yet in mixed leagues.
Shane Victorino – Likely headed to the DL with his back problems. Quit your cryin’ Hawaiian!
Will Middlebrooks – Will Will (stutterer!) be activated from the DL, and the Red Sox say he’ll play 3rd base and, appropriately enough, Brock Holt gives that the Gas Face. Middlebrooks is worth a look in deeper leagues, but he’s been a bust or injured for so much time I can’t even remember why we once liked him. Kinda prefer Meredith Brooks at this point.
Cliff Lee – Out for the season with an elbow strain. The Adverb will likely complete a long sentence on the DL that could go into next year. The Phils owe Lee $45.8 million and around $60 million to Ryan Howard. They could’ve bought a cabana on Larry Ellison’s island for that.
Grady Sizemore – 3-for-5, 1 run, 3 RBIs and hitting .328 on the Phils. Honestly, I wouldn’t even pick him up myself so who am I to say you should? Well, who am I besides the Mustachioed Prince of Fantasy?
Marlon Byrd – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs. Don’t worry, Byrd, there’s always passing through waivers!
Ben Revere – 4-for-6, 2 runs, 1 RBI and his 30th steal. Another 45 straight wins and the Phils are gonna wish they were buyers yesterday.
Jimmy Rollins – 3-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI and two steals (20, 21), to go with his 15 homers. For my middle infield spot, I’d take that every day and twice on Muesday, the magical day between Monday and Tuesday.
Asdrubal Cabrera – Traded to the Nationals. This move gets the Nationals some more flexibility, especially when Harper inadvertently runs into something. “Coming through!” *Splat* “Bryce, I could’ve opened the bathroom door for you rather than you running through it.” Asdrubal’s proven in the past few years that he’s more of a 14-homer guy than the 25-homer guy he was that one year. Nothing really gonna change for him, except he’ll probably be cast-off to the bottom of the lineup, which would be death for his counting stats.
Gio Gonzalez – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 3.88. Think about how you own Gio and Odorizzi is on your waivers. Hey, I’m sad for you.
Zach Walters – Went to the Indians for Da Drubal. Besides Walters’s post-Oscars interviews, he’s mollywhopped a bit in the minors — slamming 29 homers in Triple-A last year. His K-rate is atrocious. I mean, like “he should be playing with the Astros” bad. For now, Aviles will be playing SS for the Indians, and that just made me want to take a nap.
Francisco Lindor – I grabbed him thinking the trade of Asdrubal would bring Lindor up, but I think I might’ve got a wart on my hand from that bit of rookie nookie. Doesn’t look like Lindor is coming to replace him. Too bad, I bought a Lindor jersey and everything. The Indians also threw in a white flag.
Jason Kipnis – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer. Only about 6 weeks worth of stats from being as valuable as Rollins!
Chris Denorfia – Traded to the Mariners. Is it me or are the M’s trying to steal a page from Billy Beane’s handbook with a handful of platoon guys? I’ll never forget the time Chris Denorfia and I shared in high school, or at least I think her name was Chris Denorfia, but I would forget him for fantasy.
Chris Young – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 1 K. The Regression Fairies got one leg out from under him, now just to knock him over.
Dustin Ackley – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. About as hot as any player in the game right now. Hot schmotato doesn’t even do him justice. He’s an Eternal Flame Schmotato on Kennedy’s grave right now.
Chris Taylor – 2-for-5, 1 run. Hitting .353 since his call-up and has the kind of pedigree where he could hit for a solid average, steal some bases and chuck in some power. I like him, but the M’s have to commit to him over Miller for him to be an add in every league.
Mike Zunino – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer. He’s going to get 25 homers on the year and in October you’re gonna be like, “Why didn’t I own him?” Then next March, you’re gonna be crazy for him, even though you refused to pick him up this year. Yeah, figure that one out.
Jake Arrieta – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, lowering his ERA to 2.11. For s’s and g’s, send an email to the Verlander owner to see if he’ll trade you him for Arrieta. When he jumps out of his skin with a yes, tell him, “Sure, if you throw in Mike Trout.”
Emilio Bonifacio – Off to the Braves with James Russell. For those of you that are like me, and have Red Bull pumped directly into their waiver wire finger, Javier Baez is not being called up to replace Boneface. I do like the idea of a B.J. and Boneface on top of the Braves lineup, and maybe I won’t have to be so ‘hard on’ Fredi’s lineup decisions.
Julio Teheran – 8 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks vs. Clayton Kershaw (9 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 9 Ks). In a matchup of My Ace vs. The Ace. My Ace performed admirably, but The Ace high flush with greatness was too much.
Aaron Hill – 1-for-4 and his 9th homer. This might be the start of something, but I’ve thought that before this year with him and haven’t seen anything substantial. Mentally, I’ve moved on from him. Not physically, because I don’t own him anywhere.
Neil Walker – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 16th homer. So, skipping Pedroia in the 3rd round for Walker twenty rounds later may not have been the worst move.
Gerardo Parra – Traded to the Brewers. Sonova– Rico Suave better not have eyes on Khris Davis’s playing time or I will get swole and challenge everything he holds holy in his little Parra bubble. Stay in your Parra bubble, you infringer on playing time!
Jarred Cosart – Marlins traded for him. Aw, isn’t it cute when the Marlins try to pretend to their fans that they are buyers at the trading deadline. Watch out, NL East, we got Jarred!
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4 and his 25th homer. Ah, yeah, baby, be fire! 11 more homers to go!
Jake Marisnick – Went the other way in the Cosart trade. You never saw Mantlenick get traded, now did you? I like Marisnick a lot. Or better yet, I like him a lot more than I should. In Triple-A, he had 10 homers and 24 steals and a .277 average. He might only hit .250, but while others are spending big money on trade deadline guys coming into the AL, I’d bid on Marisnick. I see no reason why he doesn’t play every day. Hoes ain’t stopping him. Hoes ain’t stopping no man. Just keep your pimp hand strong.
Jon Singleton – 1-for-4 and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in two days. When power hitters start hitting homers, you want to ride that wave like you’re a 40-something surfer guy with a dirt tan.
Dioner Navarro – 2-for-4 and his 8th homer. Has been one of the hottest catchers over the last two weeks (3 HRs, batting near-.350). If you grab Navarro, you run the risk of him starting a Super Group on your team.
Nolan Reimold – 2-for-4 and two homers. I’m not getting pulled back into your web of upside! Stop! Now!
Abraham Almonte – Padres got him back from the Mariners for Denorfia. Sadly, when you have nothing to trade, this is what you get back.
Odrisamer Despaigne – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER. The Regression Fairies went to see Adam Lambert in concert, they know someone who has a callback for a Broadway show and they will rip your heart out.
Jedd Gyorko – 1-for-3 and his 7th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. The Gyork Store called and it’s running you out there for their fantasy team!
Will Venable – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer. Now back-to-back games with a homer. Hot schmotato alert!
Andrew Miller – Acquired by the Orioles. Ah, the ol’ “Hey, chillax, fans, we’re making moves!” non-move.
Tyler Skaggs – Left yesterday’s game with forearm tightness. He had a no hitter going at the time of the injury, so at least Skaggs had a nice one for the road.
David Freese – 4-for-5. Also, hit a homer on Sunday, but has done little else in the last week. Actually, he’s done little else in his career, but especially in the last week.
Matt Cain – Dr. James Andrews said there’s no ligament damage to his elbow. That’s too bad, since the Giants were hoping to make one more move at the trading deadline: Cain from the 15-day DL to the 60-day DL.
Tommy Milone – Was traded to the Twins for Sam Fuld. Milone is a classic Twins commodity. Low investment, low upside, hopefully stays cheap and serviceable. If he breaks out, he’ll be too expensive for the Twins to retain so here’s to him staying just above mediocrity! Should be a pretty lateral move for Milone. Awkward Segue Alert! Speaking of laterals, our fantasy football leagues are signing up. We need commissioners. If you plan on playing, sign up to be a commissioner and the world will open to you like a sickly oyster.
Kennys Vargas – Twins called him up to replace Fuld. I’ll touch on Vargas in this afternoon’s Buy column, but I like him. Solid power and can take a walk. Speaking of the Buy column, this afternoon commenters have decided to put their best selfie in the comments as their avatar. To make an avatar, you need to go to Gravatar.com and upload a photo.
Danny Santana – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer, has hit in nine of ten games. There’s so many hot middle infielders right now, it’s kinda nice Santana also has outfield eligibility. Kinda, not entirely.
Eric Hosmer – Will miss at least a month after an X-ray revealed a stress fracture in his hand from an injury that happened about ten days ago. Do the Royals not have health care? How could it possibly take this long to take an X-ray? Do they send their players to a Cambodian hospital with 85-year-old Khmer Rouge doctors as attending physicians? Seriously, dubya tee eff.
Yordano Ventura – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks. Pretty easy matchup vs. Twins, but he didn’t disappoint. Now has back-to-back Quality Starts and he’s being dropped in a ton of leagues, which is odd, but what do I know. I’m just a poor boy from a poor family.
Martin Prado – Traded to the Yankees to play 2nd base. Prado’s value goes up a little, but that’s like saying stale bread tastes better after being in prison for 17 years. Yes, it does, but only in comparison.
Brian Roberts – Was released from the Yankees. In order to save face, Roberts told his family the Yankees traded him for an extra seat on the team plane.