No one will come close to ranking this guy as high as I’m going to (assuming the Phils don’t do anything stupid and trade for a prospblock). I wouldn’t be surprised to see Cody Asche not ranked at all on some sites. Last year, ESPN didn’t rank Hyun-Jin Ryu, barely ranked Jean Segura and ignored Starling Marte, to name just a few of the guys that I highlighted around this time last year. No one is going to be on all fours getting Asche-y knees like me. Ideally, the Phils stop using Old Spice as their go-to cologne, and move Rollins or Revere or Utley or Howard or Byrd down in the lineup while pushing Asche up, so he finds himself somewhere in the top four slots. I kinda don’t want that to happen until the day after the season starts, I say mischievously. If it happens in March, then suddenly people are going to start asking the question, “Yo, Grey, your mustache reminds me a bit of the Sistine Chapel, only holier, but in other news, who is this guy Cody Asche that the Phils are saying will hit in the top of their lineup?” We don’t need those Johnny Come Latelies clogging up our draft strategy with their newfound enthusiasm. Johnny Come Lately, go show up tardy somewhere else! I hear Machado is aiming to be ready for Opening Day, go look at him, JCL. Go, now, your name reminds me too much of JC Chasez. Okay, now that we rid ourselves of those schmohawks, what can we expect from Cody Asche for 2014 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?
Here’s what I said towards the end of last year, “Asche is like a modern day Eric Hosmer, if Eric Hosmer weren’t already modern day. I’m remixing The Game for this Outkast and Asche’s to Asche’s, ah ha, don’t make me hush this fuss! Why do I love him for 2014 fantasy baseball? The Phillies need to move towards the future, and Asche will have a starting job, and get drafted in the late 200’s in most mixed leagues, but has the upside of a 70/17/82/.285/10 player. Yes, I just gave you my first 2014 projection. Cody Asche, you make me excited, let’s cuddle.” And that’s me quoting me! What we learned from 2013 is if he gets those stats, he’s a top ten 3rd baseman. Yes, it’s pathetic that those stats get him in the top ten, but don’t shoot the messenger — unless the messenger is Bugs Bunny and it’s wabbit season. Last year, David Wright finished tenth overall with 63/18/58/.307/17. My Asche projections put him around the same level. Sad, but true, boo. As I said in the opening that was about 367 words ago, the only thing stopping Asche is the Phils doing something stupid with their 3rd base slot, and no one is going to rank Asche high, so he’ll come at a great discount on draft day, which makes him a terrific sleeper. Seriously, I want to cuddle. Now.