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It’s just sad when you watch what should be a fluid situation turn out to be a fiery car wreck.  That’s what the bullpen situation with the Angels is like.   Just awful to think about, watch and….yikes, to even be immersed in their roster purgatory is just dreadful.  Their bullpen is like the Swamp of Sadness in The NeverEnding Story.  Atreyu (Mike Scoiscia) leads his horse, Artax (Ernesto Frieri) there, and the horse gets swallowed up with despair (your roster).  The only bad thing is that Fred Savage isn’t in the Angels pen. Instead, we are stuck with Joe Smith, Ernesto Frieri and the schloo of underachieving or unproven arms that they have to offer.  I for one would like them to just settle on a guy, who cares if he fails 5 out of 10 times.  I was just informed that this is exactly what has happened already.  In all seriousness, roster Joe Smith, bench Ernesto.  Monitor everyone else, but don’t hold out hope that a luck dragon is going to come swoop in and save the situation, or your team if you got pot committed to the situation there.  Stick around for some random tidbits of mental masturbation…

  • It’s really a shame the Phillies are just plain mediocre.  Their bullpen, however, has been near the top all year in bullpen ERA. For the last 30 days, their ERA is a nice ‘n tidy 2.11, second highest in MLB behind the Mariners (1.78), with a top-3 overall K% for bullpens as well.  Some good daily fliers on guys like Justin de Frautus, Ken Giles, Mario Hollands and Antonio Bastardo could always help out your ever fluctuating peripherals.
  • Pat Neshek looks like he has buoyed himself into the setup role based on injuries, but not because he hasn’t deserved it.  He has posted a minute BAA of .129, and has even garnered two oft-chance saves. Couple that with a 31/4  K/BB, that makes Pat not only a great signer through the mail, but a deeper league add for all around goodness.
  • Very quietly, Aroldis Chapman is destroying K rates.  He has struck out 61.7% of batters he is facing over the last 30 days, or basically when he came of the DL.  The next closest closer on the list is David Robertson at 47.9%.  Umm I suck at math and am worse with numbers, but that’s awesome.

 

Marry

What’s better than having the comfort of having a great stand-by at home? Nothing. It helps you, it lives for you and gosh darn’it, you can do with it as you please, under the jurisdictions of the law. It’s got a nice pre-kids body and a penchant for baking. So we have the roster stalwarts that you want to have and hold for this season forward.

1. Craig Kimbrel – (Jordan WaldenShae Simmons)

2. Kenley Jansen – (Chris PerezBrian WilsonJ.P. Howell)

3. Greg Holland – (Wade DavisKelvin HerreraAaron Crow)

4. Aroldis Chapman – (Jonathan BroxtonJ.J. Hoover)

5. Koji Uehara – (Junichi TazawaEdward MujicaAndrew Miller)

6. Glen Perkins – (Jared BurtonCasey Fien)

7. Trevor Rosenthal – (Pat Neshek, Seth Maness, Jason Motte)

8. Sergio Romo – (Jean MachiSantiago CasillaJeremy Affeldt)

9. Huston Street – (Joaquin BenoitDale Thayer)

10. David Robertson – (Dellin BetancesAdam WarrenMatt Thornton)

 

F#ck

These guys are fun, and maybe some day you’ll want to marry them, but right now they have their flaws and you’re not sure if you wanna take them home to mom. So you give them the special booty-call ring designation on your phone, and you get everything that marriage can’t give you. Stats are the important thing here, and lots of them, no obligations. No alimony attached, just straight unadulterated stats.

 

11. Francisco Rodriguez – (Will SmithBrandon Kintzler)

12. Sean Doolittle – (Luke Gregerson, Danny Otero, Ryan Cook)

13. Fernando Rodney – (Danny FarquharYoervis MedinaCharlie Furbush)

14. Rafael Soriano – (Tyler ClippardDrew Storen)

15. Steve Cishek – (Mike DunnA.J. Ramos)

16. Cody Allen – (Bryan ShawJohn Axford)

17. Zach Britton – (Tommy Hunter, Darren O’Day)

18. Joakim Soria – (Jason FrasorNeal Cotts)

19. Casey Janssen – (Steve DelabarBrett CecilAaron Loup)

20. Jonathan Papelbon – (Antonio Bastardo, Justin De Frautus)

20. Mark Melancon – (Jason GrilliTony WatsonJustin Wilson)

21. Addison Reed – (Brad ZieglerJ.J. Putz)

22. Chad Qualls – (Kyle FarnsworthJosh Fields)

 

Kill

Should be self-explanatory. There is no comfort in this grouping, along with the fear of looking suspicious when buying a new shovel and some lyme when all that you wanna do is plant a new butterfly bush. The jib? The newly injured replacements are here or just they’re just the unproven. All should be laid to rest, unless desperation or injury becomes you. Don’t get comfy, death or stat-suicide may be closer than it appears.

24. LaTroy Hawkins – (Rex BrothersAdam Ottavino)

25. Jenrry Mejia – (Jeurys FamiliaCarlos TorresVic Black)

26. Hector Rondon – (Neil RamirezPedro Strop)

27Joe Nathan – (Joba Chamberlain, Al AlburquerqueIan Krol)

28. Ronald Belisario – (Zach PutnamDaniel WebbJake Petricka)

29. Jake McGee / Joel Peralta / Kirby Yates / Juan Carlos Oviedo – (Anyone but Grant Balfour)

30. Joe Smith – (Ernesto Frieri, Kevin Jepsen, Mike Morin)