When struggles happen, the fantasy geeks come out of the wood work with words like “decreased velocity”, “contact rate” and “swing strike percentage”. Now I am no geek, but Roberto Osuna is failing the eye test for me. Control is all over the place and he has zero confidence in his pitches. Yes, if you look at all his secondary pitching attributes, they are all down or up for the worse. First, his velocity is down almost two MPH from last year. Granted, he did miss some time this spring though, so there is a reason to have a letter from his mom to explain that. His z-contact rate (pitches in the strike zone) is off the charts bonkers. It currently sits at 91%. If he had pitched more than five innings to date and qualified, he would have the highest such contact rate in baseball among relievers. That is not a good trait to have as a closer, let alone a mammal. Finally, his swing strike percentage has bottomed out at a cool 10%, which would put him outside the top-100 relievers. And surrounded by names like Tommy Hunter and Michael Ynoa, all staples to a flourishing fantasy team. So what do we do? You cuff him. Jason Grilli is the best name there and Ryan Tepera just got the save in extra innings the other day. All we can hope for from Bobby Osuna is that with some more innings and builds back up to the 9-plus K/9 reliever we drafted as our 1A closer. It isn’t time to panic, but do yourself a favor and cover your bases. Here’s what else is going down in the end game… Cheers!
- Anyone else think the Mike Scioscia is crazy enough to keep Bud Norris in the closers role even when Cam comes back? I kinda think he hates change and only pays for things with paper quarters.
- Zach Britton stint on rehab won’t be much longer, Brad Brach has filled in admirably and is a reliver of worth and rosterable after his return.
- I really wish Arizona had an option to replace Fernando. He is just awful at rooting for or rostering and with the Shelby Miller injury, I think it takes Archie Bradley (maybe, unfortunately) out of the equation. I am expecting a change any day now to J.J. Hoover, but who knows? The desert is a mysterious beast.
- Well it looks like it’s Jeurys’s job after all.
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.