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So at the middle post of the real year, the ever-changing scenarios that are closers continue to fire on.  This week I am going to speculate on some popular names that have been bantered about in trade rumors so far and add in some of my own because that’s what hippies do, we give. This week marks the return of Chris Perez and Rafael Betancourt, soon to displace Rex and Vinnie, so sad. It was so much more fun writing their names than the dog smokers and the pride of Isaac Newton College (True statement — go look it up). Now both of these guys may be coming up later in my trade speculator, because I think they are a good mix of hot garbage and tradeable commodity.  Sorta like a great combo of mayonnaise and milk…yum. This year I have a gut feeling there will be a glut of trades involving current teams’ closers making the waiver wire a cavalcade of shenanigans. If nothing else, it leads to some good conversation, some yelling and maybe some new-un-found friendships.  So shall we get on with the speculating..I think we shall.

Huston Street – Makes entirely way too much money for a small market team to sustain, though the Padres are still in a race, only being 6 games out of the wild card. One bad stretch and it’s a punt on 2nd down.  Dale Thayer or a promotion of the ice devouring sex tornado know as Kevin Quackenbush will be save mongers in the city with all the seamen. Trade prediction: Texas

Chris Perez – I hate this guy.  If you read my stuff you know this already.  If you don’t well thanks for stopping by today then. Perez is going to be 3rd year arbitration eligible next year and is more trouble than he is worth. Only problem is I think he becomes a set-up piece for a contender. Trade Prediction: Atlanta

Bobby Parnell – I think the Mets cash in on Parnell having a great year, and take a nice offensive piece back in return.  The Metropolitans have a closer in waiting, or so they think, in Jack Leathersich.  If you have a minute go check out his numbers.  Parnell will most likely go and split duties with a team that has a committee closer. Trade Prediction: Boston

Jonathan Papelbon – Now, the Phils aren’t in complete punt mode yet and they have some fairly big names that could be had this trade deadline (Utley, Young, Lee). The Phils need to get younger, and fast. Trading the top closer available, IMO, is the way they should do it.  Papelbon is set to make 12 million next year and with their TV contract coming to end, the Phillies are expecting a Dodger-type TV deal. Lot’s of zeroes to start over in 2 years. Trade prediction: Tigers

Jose Veras – The Astros’ Jeff Luhnow is a volume trader and is building a strong farm system based mostly off of trades.  This year figures to be more of the same.  Veras is a veteran arm and will grasp onto any role, because he has had them all before.  Will be a nice add on to a bullpen that has been killed by injury or in desperate need of a veteran RH. Trade prediction: San Francisco

Kevin Gregg – The other more pigmently challenged KG has gone from the street to valuable top 20 closer.  Some say he draws his strength from his glasses; others say from a mysterious vegetable drink he calls “The Crush.” Either way he is going to make the Cubs look great by getting a fairly decent prospect back, only problem is he won’t be closing where he is heading.  Trade Prediction: Orioles

Francisco Rodriguez – Hopefully he goes somewhere where domestic violence is welcomed.  He got his milestone in Mille-walk-a, and should net them something usable for the future, nothing great. I am preemptively ruining where he is going by saying, has anyone noticed how awkward Cincy’s bullpen looks without a healthy Broxton or Marshall?  Well now you know.  Trade prediction: Cincinnati

Steve Cishek – He might be traded for a new fish montage for the promenade that Miami will be building.  Playing for a losing team never helps motivate anyone, and it hasn’t helped him in the least.  Could be a great late inning piece, but I don’t see him closing unless an injury occurs to the team acquiring him.  Is going to be a popular name for teams that lose out on Street and Papelbon.  Trade prediction: Toronto