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So, everyone can give a complete exhale that two save-category standard bearers were not shut down with shoulder problems. Craig Kimbrel and Koji Uehara both threw bullpens yesterday, and are all systems go for the rest of the week.  Not like any of you have them, because we don’t and shouldn’t overpay for saves on draft day.  So if either of these guys fell to ya, good on ya and relax, and stop checking the waiver wire for half a tick.  Kimbrel is the tits, regardless of setbacks, his numbers say so, and you should walk around telling people the such as well.  Kenley is nice, has all the check marks: winning team, K’s, and the large drink to boot.  I just can’t, with good faith, de-commit from Kimbrel unless he actually hits the DL.  So with the sighs of relief I hear, let’s touch on some more of this weeks hap’s and slaps.  Shall we?

  •  Jim Johnson was shown the door to figure his bullpen hiccups early last week.  Since then, he has thrown 5 scoreless innings, actually notching 2 relief victories.  Gregerson and the like have done an okay job, but given 2-3 more appearances with consistency from Johnson, he will be closing again before the showers turn to flowers.
  • Every week I seem to here Joakim Soria being mentioned like Rocky Marciano in Coming to America.  Well, I am here to tell you the numbers he is chucking up there don’t merit anything.  DERA is bloated, team barely gets him in save situations.  If you can sell him by name, then you have my permission, no hall pass or note from mom needed.
  • Next week will have the return of two Marry type closers in Casey Janssen and David Robertson. Each will be jumping back in situations that may be different.  Robertson is the closer and Kelley goes back to setting up no questions asked.  Janssen, I am not so sure that Santos doesn’t hold the gate open for him until he gets some quality innings.  So hold Santos when Janssen comes back, as he may be facing the mudville 9 in the 8th for a few.
  • Don’t know how many Pirate devotees we have out there, but I am liking what I am seeing from Jason Grilli.  Velocity seems to be tight, and the K’s are coming.  Only thing is, with most returnees, the control is a little bit wonky.  So if you see a chance to nab him on the cheap via trade, he is the guy I would try for.
  • Francisco Rodriguez and the entire Milwaukee bullpen is basically on fire. He has some of the best numbers on the year as a collective group; Lowest BAA, lowest ERA. I don’t think the ‘muppet master’ can do anything right now to pitch his way back in there with the way the team is rolling, so he is a continue-to-hold until further notice type of guy.

Marry

What’s better than having the comfort of having a great stand-by at home? Nothing. It helps you, it lives for you and gosh darn’it, you can do with it as you please, under the jurisdictions of the law.  It’s got a nice pre-kids body and a penchant for baking. So we have the roster stalwarts that you want to have and hold for this season forward.

1. Craig Kimbrel – (David Carpenter, Jordan Walden, Luis Avilan)

2. Kenley Jansen – (Chris Perez, Chris Withrow, Brian Wilson)

3. Greg Holland – (Wade Davis, Kelvin Herrera, Aaron Crow)

4. Trevor Rosenthal – (Carlos Martinez, Kevin Siegrist, Jason Motte-DL)

5. Koji Uehara – (Edward Mujica, Junichi Tazawa)

6. Glen Perkins – (Jared Burton, Casey Fien, Caleb Thielbar)

7. Jason Grilli – (Mark Melancon, Tony Watson, Justin Wilson)

8. Joe Nathan – (Joba Chamberlain, Al Albuquerque)

 

F#ck

These guys are fun, and maybe some day you’ll want to marry them, but right now they have their flaws and you’re not sure if you wanna take them home to mom.  So you give them the special booty-call ring designation on your phone, and you get everything that marriage can’t give you.  Stats are the important thing here, and lots of them, no obligations. No alimony attached, just straight unadulterated stats.

9. Sergio Romo – (Santiago Casilla, Jean Machi, Javier Lopez)

10. Grant Balfour – (Joel Peralta, Heath Bell, Jake McGee)

11. Addison Reed – (J.J. Putz, Brad Ziegler)

12. Steve Cishek – (A.J. Ramos, Mike Dunn)

13. Rafael Soriano – (Tyler Clippard, Drew Storen)

14. Fernando Rodney – (Danny Farquhar, Tom Wilhelmsen, Yoervis Medina)

15. Tommy Hunter – (Darren O’Day, Ryan Webb, Brian Matusz)

16. Jonathan Papelbon – (Antonio Bastardo, Jake Diekman, Mike Adams)

17. Huston Street – (Joaquin Benoit, Dale Thayer, Alex Torres)

18. Ernesto Frieri – (Joe Smith, Kevin Jepsen)

19. John Axford – (Cody Allen, Bryan Shaw)

20. Francisco Rodriguez – (Jim Henderson, Tyler Thornburg, Will Smith)

 

Kill

Should be self-explanatory.  There is no comfort in this grouping, along with the fear of looking suspicious when buying a new shovel and some lyme when all that you wanna do is plant a new butterfly bush.  The jib? The newly injured replacements are here or just they’re just the unproven.  All should be laid to rest, unless desperation or injury becomes you.  Don’t get comfy, death or stat-suicide may be closer than it appears.

21. Sergio Santos – (Steve Delabar, Aaron Loup, Casey Janssen-DL)

22. Joakim Soria – (Alexei, Ogando, Neal Cotts, Jason Frasor)

23. Luke Gregerson – (Jim Johnson, Ryan Cook, Sean Doolittle)

24. Jonathan Broxton – (J.J. Hoover, Sam LeCure, Manny Parra)

25. LaTroy Hawkins – (Rex Brothers, Adam Ottavino, Matt Belisle)

26. Shawn Kelley – (Adam Warren, Dellin Bettances, Matt Thornton)

27. Jose Valverde – (Gonzalez Germen, Kyle Farnsworth, Carlos Torres)

28. Matt Lindstrom -(Daniel Webb, Scott Downs, Nate Jones-DL)

29. Hector Rondon – (Jose Veras, Pedro Strop)

30. Josh Fields, Chad Qualls, Anthony Bass