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It was all fine and dandy and then Roldy Chapman had to go and jump in front of a speeding bullet.  It caused the first waiver wire riot of the year.  Trick is, who to add?  Everybody jumped on the J.J. Hoover train and I don’t blame them.  He seems like the only real healthy choice, but have you seen him in ST? He looks god awful, like he is throwing with the losing end of a wishbone.   This situation is one to get all waiver wire giddy about, but it’s not going to be fluid.  Broxton and Marshall start the year on the boo-boo list and then what’s left?  I’ll tell ya, be patient, stop yelling….  Manny ParraI have read others speculating this, but I’m going to jump on it also.  It’s only a temporary situation anyways, and if you lost out on Hoover, why not get a good ‘what the hell’ add?  Could do worse, he has a K/9 over 10 in 2 full seasons as a set up guy and a ST K/BB rate of 11/1.  I mean if we are going on merit, which never happens, he deserves a look and may get a few early saves.

Second verse, different from the first.  Joakim Soria has beaten out Nefatli Feliz, and this wasn’t groundbreaking news as the “Mexicutioner” was being rostered in over 60% of leagues already.  I always liked Joakim and he has the potential to be a top-12 closer.  So if you speculated or sorta listened to me a month ago, congrats on your fortitude in drafting. Feliz has been optioned to the minors and is droppable from most formats.

So I have been contemplating for long enough and the time has come to change it up.  Gone will be the $12 Salads, Donkey Corns and Brain Freezes.  They have served their purpose long enough and will be retired to the Razzball rafters.  So out with the old and in with the new.  The new name system is a play on an old game that we like to do with things that come in the magic number of three.  I mean what better way to code things that are good, aggravating and disposable then the good old M/F/K system of relievers.  For those not familiar it’s fairly simple.  M is marry, F is for… well you know… and K is for kill.  This is a new take on categorizing three woman or books or whatever your sick deviant mind likes to lump into three separate groups.  This is the first regular season post of the year, so all the people that love plus’ and minuses can expect to see them starting now.  So enjoy the closer report, new for the start of the season.

 

Marry

What’s better than having the comfort of having a great stand-by at home? Nothing. It helps you, it lives for you and gosh darn’it, you can do with it as you please, under the jurisdictions of the law.  It’s got a nice pre-kids body and a penchant for baking. So we have the roster stalwarts that you want to have and hold for this season forward.

1. Craig Kimbrel  - (David Carpenter, Luis Avilan, Jordan Walden)

2. Kenley Jansen - (Brian Wilson, Chris Perez, Paco Rodriguez)

3. Greg Holland – (Wade Davis,  Aaron Crow, Tim Collins)

4. Trevor Rosenthal – (Carlos Martinez, Kevin Seigrist, Jason Motte)

5. Koji Uehara – (Edward Mujica, Junichi Tazawa)

6. Joe Nathan – (Al Albuquerque, Joba Chamberlain, Ian Krol)

7. Glen Perkins – (Jared Burton, Caleb Theibar, Casey Fien)

 

F@#$

These guys are fun, and maybe some day you’ll want to marry them, but right now they have their flaws and you’re not sure if you wanna take them home to mom.  So you give them the special booty call ring designation on your phone, and you get everything that marriage can’t give you.  Stats are the important thing here, and lots of them, no obligations. No alimony attached, just straight unadulterated stats.

8. Sergio Romo – (Santiago Casilla, Jeremy Affeldt,)

9. Grant Balfour – (Heath Bell, Joel Peralta, Jake McGee)

10. David Robertson – (Matt Thornton, Shawn Kelley, David Phelps)

11. Addison Reed – (J.J. Putz, Brad Ziegler, David Hernandez)

12. Ernesto Frieri – (Joe Smith, Dane de la Rosa)

13. Jim Johnson – (Sean Doolittle, Luke Gregerson, Ryan Cook-DL)

14. Casey Janssen – (Sergio Santos, Steve Delabar, Brett Cecil)

15. Fernando Rodney – (Danny Farquhar, Charlie Furbush, Tom Wilhelmsen)

16. Jonathon Papelbon – (Antonio Bastardo, Jake Diekman, Justin De Fratus)

17. Jason Grilli – (Mark Melancon, Tony Watson, Justin Wilson)

18. Steve Cishek – (A.J. Ramos, Mike Dunn, Carter Capps)

19. Rafael Soriano – (Tyler Clippard, Craig Stammen, Drew Storen)

20. Jim Henderson – (Fransisco Rodriguez, Brandon Kintzler)

21. Huston Street – (Joaquin Benoit, Nick Vincent, Dale Thayer)

 

Kill

Should be self-explanatory.   There is no comfort in this grouping, then there’s the fear of looking suspicious when buying a new shovel and some lyme, when all that you wanna do is plant a new butterfly bush.  The influx is here; the newly injured replacements are here or just the unproven.  All should be laid to rest, unless desperation or injury becomes you.  Don’t get comfy, death or stat-suicide may be closer than it appears.

22. John Axford - (Cody Allen, Vinnie Pestano)

23. Joakim Soria - (Neal Cotts, Jason Frasor, Robbie Ross)

24. Tommy Hunter – (Darren O’Day, Ryan Webb)

25. Bobby Parnell –  Jose Valverde, Gonzalez Germen, Scott Rice)

26. Nate Jones – (Matt Lindstrom, Daniel Webb, Ronald Belisario)

27. LaTroy Hawkins – (Rex Brothers, Adam Ottavino, Matt Belisle)

28. Jose Veras – (Pedro Strop, James Russell, Blake Parker)

29. J.J. Hoover (Manny Parra, Logan Ondrusek, Sean Marshall, Jonathan Broxton)

30. Josh Fields – (Chad Qualls,Kevin Chapman, Jesse Crain)

  1. papasmurf says:
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    I never see Sam LeCure mentioned as a potential guy in CIN. Is he still with the team?

    • Big Magoo says:
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      @papasmurf: LeCure looks like the 2nd in line for saves right now, considering the fact that Parra is the best (and possibly only) healthy LHP in that pen right now. I think he’ll (Parra) be used as a high-leverage 7th or 8th inning reliever until Marshall is healthy, at the very least.

      • Smokey

        Smokey says:
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        @Big Magoo: lecure still there just when everybody returns he is 4-5th option

        • Big Magoo says:
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          @Smokey: Agreed. I just think that LeCure is next in line after Hoover until Broxton and/or Marshall are healthy. Figure he’s worth a speculative add in an RCL type format, nothing more. Good stuff Smokey.

          • Brendon says:
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            @Big Magoo:

            Personally I think Lecure is first in line. Then Hoover, then Parra. It’s still a committee, but I think Lecure gets first save.

        • papasmurf says:
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          @Smokey: LeCure has been good the last couple of years out of the pen. He gets lefties out. In fact he was much better vs. LH hitters last year than righties.

          I just find it curious that despite a dreadful spring, Hoover is still regarded as the top guy and no mention of LeCure. He is “the” Cure after all. I dunno if he had a good spring though.

  2. I suggest you change “kill” to “Avoid–She’s Crazy” if you’re going with the dating metaphor. I mean, really, “kill”?

    • Kid A says:
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      @Quintilian B. Nasty:

      It’s what kids call a “meme” – F, Marry, Kill when given 3 options. It’s very edgy. Be careful.

    • Fireball Feliz says:
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      @Quintilian B. Nasty:

      I’m guessing that he’s going for the “Marry one, f**k one, kill one” game

      • Kid A says:
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        @Fireball Feliz:

        He explains it, if you actually read the article…

        • aklang says:
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          @Kid A:

          I’m a long time reader, but I don’t think this is funny at all. My first reaction was that it was sexist and promotes violence against women. After reading the comments, I still don’t think it’s funny at all and it’s very disturbing.

          • philthebluntman says:
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            @aklang: in case you havnt noticed. This is isnt the most politically correct website. Lighten up.

      • Hobag says:
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        @Jay: You’ve never played Marry, Fuck, Avoid-going-to-the-place-where-you-might-run-into-her?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Hobag: I have not. WEIRD, I know.

  3. FillyP says:
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    Hey Smoke, would you drop any of these schmoes for what’s available? I have Grilli, Hawkins, Qualls, and Farquhar.

    Available: Parra, Allen, O’Day, Fields, Valverde, Santos, Crain..

    5×5 12t standard. Thanks.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @FillyP: I’d hold. Lots of lateral moves there

    • Principal Blackman says:
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      btw the password is jerriblank

      still 8 spots left.

      • I'm Keith Hernandez says:
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        @Principal Blackman:
        I can do it if you change the draft time from Friday night

        • Principal Blackman says:
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          @I’m Keith Hernandez: I am willing to draft whenever. And it seems like there is at least one other person who has a problem with drafting on Friday night. So you should sign up and suggest a new time via the league message boards. I’m free all day/night saturday and into the mid afternoon on sunday.

    • Principal Blackman says:
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      Only SIX spots left to fill in the last chance RCL saloon known as Flatpoint High. Sign up!

      • Principal Blackman says:
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        ONLY TWO TEAMS LEFT UNCLAIMED!
        GET YOURS BEFORE THEY’RE GONE!

        …sorry for yelling…

        • Principal Blackman says:
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          Only 1 more slice of pie left to be had. Who wants it?

          • Principal Blackman says:
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            LEAGUE IS FULL. Thanks for playing, ya’ll.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Wow, that was fast

              • Principal Blackman says:
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                @Grey: Right! Kinda makes me want to start another one.

                • RotisserieJedi says:
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                  @Principal Blackman: Sorry if I missed it, but on the instructions for starting a league, it walked me through every step except the one where I get access to the google doc, or e-mail that info to someone who has access. Let me know: rotisserie.jedi at yahoo

              • Bd says:
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                @Grey:

                That’s what she said

  4. Ghost of the Disappeared says:
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    Smoke: See you are rating Fields the man in Houston… No love for Qualls or is this some hot Razzball inside scoop?

    Fields is a rather rare guy that was a closer and was drafted to be a closer.

    Hoover? What are his chances at keeping the job all year – I personally believe, Chapman will have great difficulties getting back in the saddle … Head injuries are nasty from bean-balls and batted balls _ Alexi Bell of Cuba took 3 years to recover from his bean.. Believe, Donnie Hill of the A’s never recovered. Roy Chapman was killed by a pitch… Herb Score’s injury very similar to this one and was ruined by it.. Brandon McCarthy has not returned to form either.

    Broxton is coming off arm surgery thoughts?? … Hoover is look’n solid to me.

    Most of these guys on the bottom tier have decent chance of success IMO.

    Only Veras, who will be the first player traded in MLB this season has a time limited role -And heck, even he might go to a team that needs a closer – and is the only one that will not be his teams closer almost for certain IMO

    Which do you think will keep their jobs???

    What are your thoughts on the Cisheik mid season trade rumors Strong, Neutral, Mild

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Ghost of the Disappeared: it qualls and fields, fields and qualls. No matter not much of an ownership

      Chapman comes back ok. He is a Cuban cyborg.

      Broxton is meh until shows otherwise wouldn’t trust a roster spot on him

      Cishek does look like a strong trade guy kid season right now. But who knows that’s 3 months out

  5. Tehol Beddict says:
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    Soria will be very solid. why the Parnell hate? He’s got pretty nasty stuff. Hawkins is so god damn terrible. its a joke he’s the closer. its just like Jansen not being closer to start last year. Im glad you’ve finally put Jansen in his rightful place. I tried to tell you for years. I love your closer report articles tho. Very helpful. Thank you for your service, Smoke Dog. You’re truly a Razzball Hall-Of-Famer

    • Nico says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: Parnell is a Met, Tehol! As a long-time sufferer, you begin to realize that no matter what the potential, the Mets turn everything they touch to $h1t.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: Parnell neck thing worries me. None of the mets wanna play with any dings. Look at Ike and duda. Thanks Tehol

    • Frank White says:
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      Yo Tehol wutup my Nuka!! Been a while, you miss me! Lol jk

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Frank White: FRANK WHITE!!!!! i haven’t seen you on my posts playboy!!! Im lost without you and you’re rap quotes. where u be kid!

        • Frank White says:
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          I haven’t seen your quotes let me check

  6. InternetGuy says:
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    The deterioration of Razzball continues…Marry / Fuck / Kill? Seriously? What trash. What an enormous drop off in creativity after Grey.

      • InternetGuy says:
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        @Jay:

        Glad the page views are up…Grey and Rudy do a great job. Morning reads are still the best. I understand the need for additional content, just think MFK (yes, Ive heard of it before this post) is the absolute furthest thing from clever. Clever is why is read every morning. Clever is why Razzball is fun to read.

      • fausto says:
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        @Jay:straight hate from “internet guy”…guess he paid $20 for Chapman….

    • Kyle H says:
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      @InternetGuy: Lol.. That makes Razzball white trash? Heh..

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @InternetGuy: does me being 1/4 black change anything?

      • InternetGuy says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        Kids can’t even read. No need to pull the race card. What ? White.

        • InternetGuy says:
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          @InternetGuy:

          Dropped a does not equal sign in there but it came through as a question mark. I never said white trash was the point

    • Nico says:
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      @InternetGuy: I laughed out loud at the new breakdown. Shizz is entertaining, yo!

      • InternetGuy says:
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        @Nico:

        Thats great Nico, I bet you like Tyler Perry movies too.

    • HolyGhostClaw says:
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      @InternetGuy:

      For someone named “InternetGuy”, you sure get butt-hurt very easily by something as pedestrian as MFK.
      Seriously, is this the first site you’ve ever visited on the internet? Go look at some videos of cats being cute, and it’ll all be OK.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @HolyGhostClaw: how anybody comes down on people here like when Tehol gets talked down to by untouchables, or when somebody gets uppity about something being “crass” and expects to not get laughed at by the rank and file is beyond me. Smokey is finally making these rankings with his own names. Good for him. If anybody doesn’t like it you don’t have to read it or follow it.

        • PBMax says:
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          @goodfold2:

          Agreed

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @goodfold2: wait, is this defending me, or insulting me?

  7. Clint says:
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    I’ve never seen closers fly off the board the way they just did in my 12 team roto league draft. Once they started, I swear the run went 2 rounds at least. Guess I’ll be keeping my out for some waiver steals via Smokey for 2014 because all I wound up with were Rodney, Axford, and Qualls by the time the dust settled.

    How do you mix closers in for H2H lineups? I’ve got Street, Axford, & Nate Jones but we only have to start 2 RP’s, 2 SP’s, and 4 P spots. This is my first year in one and was wondering how to maximize my pitching choices day to day.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Clint: start me all unless you need the spot for a Sp.

  8. Dave F says:
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    Smokey,

    I have Romo/Balfour/Street as my closers. I had Soria and flipped him for a SP as soon as he became eligible. How reliable is Parra going to be for holds? I’m thinking I want to pick him up in hopes that he gets a decent amount of holds for me, then eventually wins the closer job so I can flip him for another SP.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Dave F: his situation looks better know then when everyone ets healthy so maximize now play the wire later

  9. Malon says:
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    BOOO CHANGE!!@!!

    Why substitute the nonsensical razzball charm for a cliche game for 8th graders?

    • Alky Sobrera says:
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      @Malon:
      I’m with you. It doesn’t offend my delicate sensibilities or anything, but going from creative/quirky/hilarious original designations to FMK? Seems a step in the wrong direction for sure.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Malon: so you would rather read the same thing that introduces the content every week rather then critique the content. Makes sense to me

      • Shawn of the livid says:
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        @Smokey: Not that I didn’t like the Donkeycorns and such, but a change of pace is fun. It’s not like they have to chisel this MFK thing in stone. Lets all just act like balloons and lighten up. I’m taking my wife out tonight for a $12 salad.

      • Alky Sobrera says:
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        @Smokey:
        Isn’t the intro part of the content? If not, then why put it in there? Isn’t the intro meant to differentiate you/engage readers? Plus, I don’t think the point is that the closer info suffers from it, just that it detracts from the piece as a whole. Personally, I’m not averse to changing the intro, just the move from razz originality to played out games. Just my 2 cents, can’t speak for anyone else.

        • Smokey

          Smokey says:
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          @Alky Sobrera: they are just categories homie. I could have made them anything. Blue white and yellow. The intro is different every single week with me. Just changed the names the rankings are all the same system just with a different name. It’s like eating a Hyrdrox cookie but wanted an Oreo.

        • Shawn of the livid says:
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          @Alky Sobrera: yeah I hear ya. The MLK thing doesn’t really fit but maybe some fine tuning will get things back on track

          • Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:
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            @Shawn of the livid: I don’t know why but I find mistakenly referring to a great leader like MLK instead of MFK, the dumb game I learned about on the Stern show, hilarious.

  10. Principal Blackman says:
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    I would think my man Nate Jones would be closer to moving in to the F tier than some of the other dudes above him. What’s holding him back in your rankings? Is it simply that the White Sox have yet to officially name him closer, or is there some deeper, darker reasoning at work?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Principal Blackman: exactly that. White sox dragging their paws.

      • Principal Blackman says:
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        @Smokey: As they are wont to do.
        I heard Ventura was talking about the dreaded closer by committee approach, but I still think Nate Dogg is gonna take the job and run with it.

        • Shawn of the livid says:
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          @Principal Blackman: His stuff is good enough to give him a shot. If he can’t hack it then go to committee. That’s my reasoning on him getting the call any day

          • Principal Blackman says:
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            @Shawn of the livid: Yeah I hear that. Seems like they are just hedging their bets in case Nate blows up in their collective face.

              • Principal Blackman says:
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                @Smokey: a greed

  11. A Hill O' Beans says:
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    I fear that new readers will never know the story of the Donkeycorn. It’s a little sad really.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @A Hill O’ Beans: True. Everyone should know the story of the mystical donkeycorn.

      • A Hill O' Beans says:
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        @Jay: Am I gonna have to get a quick comment in every time a closer report comes out, for the good of all new Razzball readers…

        “Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves.”

        That my friends is what your elders call a DonkeyCorn.

        • mauledbypandas says:
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          @A Hill O’ Beans: I was always more puzzled by the Donkey wearing a wool cap than anything. Always made me laugh.

          • mauledbypandas says:
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            @mauledbypandas: hit enter too soon. I’m assuming the wool cap is to hide the horn but I don’t need it spelled out. Long live Donkeycorns!

    • Homer at the Bat says:
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      @A Hill O’ Beans: Don’t fret, us older readers will understand that after combining the two naming systems, we’re all trying to eff donkeycorns together :)

  12. Regan says:
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    I think it would be very helpful and a big improvement to have the team name and a short description with any relevant information next to the players name. This format is really the least you could do. Compare this section to any of the other rankings and it’s quite lame by comparison. Maybe then I could understand why you have Nate Jones in the Kill section. Double-digit strikeouts per nine innings, above-average control, and a ground-ball rate over 50% last year.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Regan: constructive criticism. I like it. Teams should be included in my opinion. This is probably Jays fault like every other damn thing thats wrong around here!!!!!!!

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @Regan: read almost directly above this. nate jones (I’M NATE JONES!) is there due to his job not being in stone, not his skill set.

  13. The Thumb says:
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    I drafted Feliz and Scheppers. Fuck me right?

    Anyway, Smokey, would you rather have McGee, Herrera, Kintzler, Casilla, Doolittle over my existing Sv+hold pen of Balfour, Siegrist, Allen, Wade Davis, Hoover, Peralta, Santos?

    • The Thumb says:
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      @The Thumb: David Carpenter is also available.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @The Thumb: you’re still looking good

  14. Ken Plane says:
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    Some of the best lines in the annals of Razzball history and you change it to that…….nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, change it back right now!

    • Shawn of the livid says:
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      @Ken Plane: Starting to remind me of when Grey changed his gravatar.

  15. Alan says:
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    I miss the the Donkeycorn already.

    Smokey, you patted yourself on the back for recommending Soria, then put him on the Kill List.

    Which is it?

    I picked up Soria in the 20th Round of a 12 team league, and felt pretty good about it.

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Alan: soria is a hog. don’t trip

      • Smokey

        Smokey says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: wanna see what he has will be a fast riser once we see the proof in the pudding again

  16. The Fuzz says:
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    Just picked up Valverde (shudder…) in an RCL on the speculation that he may close to start the season with Parnell still recovering….crazy??

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @The Fuzz: nope. Parnell is already limited to every other game. So opportunity for cheap ones is there

      • A Hill O' Beans says:
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        @Smokey: I love the update on Valverde.

        “Parnell is the Mets’ undisputed closer, but Mets manager Terry Collins has expressed some concern about using Parnell three straight days. Valverde, who made the team as a non-roster invitee, would be first in line for those saves.”

        When is the last time the Mets won three straight games? With a save opportunity in all of them no less? Collins and Valverde owners everywhere are definitely glass half full kind of people. Now if Parnell’s neck gets to the point where he can’t pitch period, then that’s a different story.

        • goodfold2 says:
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          @A Hill O’ Beans: thank you Hill o’ Beans. very true. If Parnell stays relatively healthy you should probably be getting around 25-1 that Valverde even gets 1 save chance.

  17. S P says:
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    So… I’m kind of curious, why should be ignoring everyone’s spring stats EXCEPT JJ Hoover? How do we know he’s not working on location or specific pitches? Seems odd to me.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @S P: not ignoring anything stat wise. I have seen him pitch 2-3 times looks off to me

  18. JDW says:
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    The Cards bully is just so damn freakin’ stout!

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @JDW: them and A’s are pretty stout

  19. Yager says:
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    Kemp on the DL, in 20 team laegue. Better replacement beginning the season: Ryan Raburn vs. Chris Denorfia?

    Ahh, deep league woes. Ha

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Yager: Rayburn

      • Yager says:
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        Thanks Smokes! @Smokey:

  20. Brian says:
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    I assume Soria is under kill because he hasn’t closed for awhile. He’s been reliable before and he’s on a team that should win 75+. Are you just waiting to see a little proof or would you honestly draft Huston Street, Jim Henderson and Papelbon over him?

    • Brian says:
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      @Brian: Just noticed your reply to Tehol. There’s my answer. Great column. I always enjoy it.

      • Smokey

        Smokey says:
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        @Brian: thanks.

  21. and1mcgee says:
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    Mike Olt has won the starting 3b job for the Cubs. Is he a pick up in 12 team mixed?

    • and1mcgee says:
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      @and1mcgee: apparently, only made roster spot … starting 3b TBD … my bad.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @and1mcgee: yea depends on how many bench spots you have. I wouldn’t personally. But better to be first than lasr

      • and1mcgee says:
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        @Smokey: “So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.” Matthew 20:16

        … yes, I’m kidding.

  22. Bambinos says:
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    good stuff smokey

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
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      @Bambinos: thanks Bambino

  23. Tom Emanski says:
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    I have Chapman (drafted him without knowing about injury), Rosenthal, Street and Frieri. I have a bad feeling about the latter two. I already dropped Street for Melancon since it’s a SV+HD league. Street’s history and 14 HRA last year scare me. Frieri is not much better. I think I’ll pick up another holds guy while Chapman is on the DL.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Tom Emanski: I think Frieri blows up this year in a good way

  24. RandomItalicizedVoice says:
    (link)

    Personally I started wondering last season why the tier names/intros were still the same. I’m glad for a little refreshment here. Unbelievable how much backlash there is over something so petty.

  25. Where do you see Chapman’s value right now? I ended up taking him at #123 in one RCL league, I figure with 2 DL spots I can stash him for 6 weeks and use that spot for some flyers in the meantime.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Elijah: he is draftable after Perkins is off the board.

  26. Greyismyhero says:
    (link)

    Smoke man…12 tm keeper with holds as cat….Would you drop any one of my bench guys to pick up one of the following hold dudes? Or wait until season progresses and then do it….I only have 1 hold guy now (Brothers)…Thanks…420

    Bench
    Villar
    Yelich
    Frazier
    K. Davis

    Available
    Mcgee
    Burton
    Kintzler
    S. Kelley

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Greyismyhero: I would try a 2-1 with your bench guys to good to drop

      • Greyismyhero says:
        (link)

        @Smokey: Thanks and BTW love the new categories, who cares what all these squares say…change is good…SMOKE THE GREEN!

  27. Shiv says:
    (link)

    How is Soria in the last group?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Shiv: we think we know what he and want him to be the old Joakim. After 2 weeks of showing it he will be in the top 18 or so. That starting rotation isn’t making anyone quake right now either. 3 guys with zero career starts ( Ross Martinez and Scheppers), Yu dinged up and joe Saunders not a great staff by any stretch.

  28. Frank White says:
    (link)

    Sup Smokey… On my pitching roster I hold only one closer which is Perkins. Do you think that’s enough or should I grab Hoover or Parra?? I kinda don’t understand when you said if Hoover is taken to grab Parra but they’re both on your kill list. Can you help me out and let meknow iI need to make a move please..? Thanks!!

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Frank White: def need more, grab Hoover. Kill category is explained just that there situation or themselves may not he great.

  29. Mike says:
    (link)

    Any upside of Ian Krol in a deep dynasty league that counts holds?

    Al Albuquerque is on a team and Joba Chamberlain and Ian Krol are available. Choose Joba or a proactive speculation on Krol?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Mike: Krol has modest value. Dynasty league add if have roster room good k potential.

  30. Elwood Blues says:
    (link)

    If i think Kimbrel and Jansen are too expensive.. likely $35-40 in our NL Only 4×4.. who would be the best bargain/solid buy out of Reed, Chapman, Soriano, Street, Veras..
    How would you rank ‘em..

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @Elwood Blues: i’m guessing Reed has best value, but i’m not the guy bidding on these guys in your league.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Elwood Blues: reed street chapman veras. I am not touching soriano so grabbing clippard is prolly a bargain

  31. Elwood Blues says:
    (link)

    Better future closers to invest in.. Strop or Vizcaino in Chicago.. Hembree or Crick in SF??

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @Elwood Blues:
      1. depends on how long into future you want on CUBS. by july Strop probably
      2. i thought Crick was supposed to be a starter. I know Hembree is def supposed to be a closer (don’t know how soon at major league level)

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Elwood Blues: strop. Crick is still a starter. Hembree will be up by may1st

  32. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
    (link)

    you’re the only person i’ve seen saying thornton over kelley and fields over qualls. Some places even have Albers over Fields (but not over Qualls). you have some sort of info i’m not aware of?
    1. also, i’m guessing if these are the stats (holds/K by 9/ relief wins, in addition to normal stats) that out of maness/thayer/black/both webbs/withrow/burnett/kohn/c.torres/theilbar/frasor/chaote/stauffer/blevins/swarzak/parra that parra is the best option currently?

      • Shake N Bacon says:
        (link)

        @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: Parra gets plenty o’ K’s against both lefties and righties. But it appears that righties hit him fairly well (looking at his splits). With Marshall and Chapman (only other lefties in bullpen) being hurt, I think Parra will be the lefty specialist. That’s not saying that if two to three lefties are due up in the 9th inning that he won’t get the nod for the save opportunity. I just think that’s the only time he’ll get a save opportunity. At least early on.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: more experience than Kelley think that would win out. It’s going to be a 1 for you. 1,2 for me closing situation in Houston.
      Parra and Ryan Webb are the best in there followed by Thayer.

  33. John says:
    (link)

    Love the transition from $12 Salad, Donkeycorn, and Brain Freeze to M, F, K. My only complaint is that I finally got my wife used to the term Donkeycorn – and now I’ll have to explain “I’d F him”. *sigh*

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @John: getting a wife to do anything that involves the f word is a chore somethimes

  34. ChiliCheeseConey says:
    (link)

    Would you add Parra for O’Day or Fields?

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @ChiliCheeseConey: i’d keep O’day over him, but Smokey may like Fields more (since he’s the only person i’ve seen so far thinking Fields is first line on closer at HOU)

      • Smokey

        Smokey says:
        (link)

        @goodfold2: if you wanna be first for O’day then be it. Houston is most def a committee thing and I wouldn’t want to waste a roster spot on either guy unless desperate

  35. RotisserieJedi says:
    (link)

    Don’t listen to the haters Smokey; I LOVE the twist of M/F/K. Personally, I’m grabbing one donkeycorn (F*ck) and loading up on The Heirs to the Throne for the Kills.

    Pricipal Blackman must have been handing out coupons for free passes with his cute next door neighbor, because that league filled up so fast I could the damn door shut in my face! So in an uncharateristically burst of industry, I started a league.

    Name: The League of Extraordinary Gentiles
    Link: http://games.espn.go.com/flb/tools/join?leagueId=195152
    Password: razzmataz

    Yeah, and no, there are no free passes, and my neighbor’s NOT that cute!

    • Principal Blackman says:
      (link)

      @RotisserieJedi: Razzmatazz was the racing name of the first dog I ever owned (a greyhound rescue). We called him Tazz for short, and it always bothered me when people assumed we named him after the Tasmanian Devil. All this is just to say I am signing up for your league.

      • RotisserieJedi says:
        (link)

        @Principal Blackman: Happy to have you. Six spots left.

  36. Larry David says:
    (link)

    Don’t listen to the hate, love the new tiers!
    Also, should I add Josh Fields here pronto? Does it look like he’s won it outright?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Larry David: hasn’t won it and qualls hasn’t either it’s roster suicide anyways

  37. 2 Giant rings says:
    (link)

    Sorry if this has been discussed already… I would think Chapman would still be draft able over some of the shakiest closers on your list. He should get the job for 4 months assuming his face is well enough to pitch.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @2 Giant rings: oh absolutely. I drafted him recently after the top 10 closers were off the board

  38. Dave says:
    (link)

    Well F, I spent a ton of FAAB on Hoover. And in a holds/saves league I have Brothers, who also looked like S.

    Drop Brothers for Siegrest or wait to see if Brothers was faking it in ST?

    And to be clear, you don’t recommend dropping Hoover for Parra?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Dave: stand pat with Rex. Precisely with Hoover

  39. Steve Stevenson says:
    (link)

    Drafted Axford as RP3 in 12 tm 6×6 (QS added, so starters are more valuable) H2H. Was hoping to grab Allen as insurance but he got snaked, ended up with Carlos Martinez for ratio help/potential late season SP. Offer Martinez for Allen? How badly do you think I need Allen? The Astros RPs, LaTroy and most decent setup men are available.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Steve Stevenson: if having the cuff makes you all warm and fuzzy then do it. If good options are there be ready to pounce just in care trade don’t work

  40. fausto says:
    (link)

    I have veras as my 3rd cl. Worth adding Strop? Or Santos in Tor? The last I read Janssen was topping out at 84 mph. Little scary with bum shoulder could be precautionary…. Thoughts?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @fausto: Strop to cover yourself

  41. Bosmosis says:
    (link)

    For what it’s worth, I just wanted to add my two cents about the new names for the categories. I don’t like them, for a few reasons.

    1) The beauty of Grey’s love for Giancarlo notwithstanding, referring to other men as a “Marry” or a “F*&%” is quite a bit gayer than I’m comfortable with, especially referring to them by those terms in non-Razzball contexts. I actually use the old terms in conversation offline. Call me a homophobe, but I can’t imagine using these at the draft table.

    2) Re: “F*&%” – If you can’t spell it out, it shouldn’t be a category.

    3) There is no 3.

    4) Lifting a meme is unimaginative. Can’t say that about the old system. No one who reads the origin of the donkeycorn in the desert comes away from it unmoved. And it’s way more fun to refer to Jose Veras as a Brain Freeze than a “Kill”. I mean, I don’t like the guy either, but where’s the fun in that?

    Rant over. Keep up the good work, gentlemen.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
      (link)

      @Bosmosis: you being uncomfortable with ‘the gay’ seems more offensive than whatever issues you have with this post.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
        (link)

        @Jay: boom!. also funny to see things like thought police in #2.

        • Bosmosis says:
          (link)

          @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow:

          Not sure what you mean here – it’s blotted out like that in the original post, not by me. The point was if you don’t even want to spell it out, why do expect anyone else to embrace it?

      • Bosmosis says:
        (link)

        @Jay:

        I’m not uncomfortable with “the gay” and I’m not sure why you put in quotations marks something I never said. I said it’s “gayer” than I’m comfortable with, which implies Im comfortable with some level of gay. Maybe you’d like to explain to your draft partner what you meant when you refer to a guy as a “marry” – I’d rather call him a 12 dollar salad.

  42. @Smokey…I dig the new closer tags. From our LEEG draft, you know I love me some Soria.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Mick Wayne: thanks Mick

  43. McNutter says:
    (link)

    I love Razzball in part bc of its glorious distastefulness, but this MFK thing is distasteful in a different way, know what I mean? It isn’t clever at all, and it isn’t funny at all. Smokey man you’re better than this

  44. Chunk says:
    (link)

    I like the blue white yellow idea for next week.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Chunk: I’d prolly offend someone with that too

  45. KMDA says:
    (link)

    Smokey, looking for some RP advice. I drafted the other night (12 team 6×6 roto, walks/holds). I got Uehara, Robertson, Parnell, Siegrist, Delebar, Mujica. I’m not all that sure about Mujica though. Some of the guys on waivers: Avilan, Thorton, J. Smith, Dunn, Tazawa, Gregerson, Pestano, Casilla, Storen, Black….should I pick up one of the waiver guys or just hold on what I have?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @KMDA: hold.

  46. Jonas says:
    (link)

    Am I biased because I have him? Yes, but whats wrong with the Colorado Bullpen situation? It seems to be one big happy family over there. They want Rex handling the high leverage eighth inning and ive seen nothing saying he is unhappy about the situation. On the contrary, the whole team has apparently fallen in love with Latroy Hawkins. Whats wrong with this?

  47. Scot MacDonald says:
    (link)

    Long time reader, first time caller. Whoever wrote this should be fired. Distasteful is one thing, but this is just plain sick. Might be enough to make me stay away for good.

    • Jonas says:
      (link)

      @Scot MacDonald: good riddance, dont let the door hit your ass on the way out.

      • Scot MacDonald says:
        (link)

        @Jonas: stay classy.

        • Jonas says:
          (link)

          @Scot MacDonald: always…? Well at this point I do not know if you were joking or what, but I still love Latroy Hawkins. I ask again, why is that so wrong?

  48. John says:
    (link)

    Deep league with prospect rosters, also a dynasty..would you rather have Jennings and Moustakas or Austin Jackson, Neil walker, and Guerrero (LAD, can stash on my prospect roster). I love Moustakas..but have no 2b after Pedroia…plesee help!!

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @John: mous side. What’s wrong with Pedey and no depth for now. Can’t have depth every year at every position. Especially when you have a top 4 option at the spot.

  49. Warren says:
    (link)

    Currently have Balfour, Soria, and N Jones. Soriano, Rodney, Parnell, Axford, and Henderson are on waivers (only two RP slots per team, 10 team league). Like the upside of Soria the most, so I think I’ll hang onto him and maybe drop Nate for one of those on waivers. By ranking, you like Rodney the best, but given the nature of the league I feel like stashing someone with major K rate upside is better than the known quantities that are always available to pick up.

    What would you do?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Warren: Nate for Henderson makes sense to me.

  50. Sam says:
    (link)

    The new tier names are poop. Dirty smelly poop.

    Good rankings/info though, thanks.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Sam: I like the poop suggestion. I may copy that unless you have TM’d it already.

  51. EK says:
    (link)

    drop hoover for hunter?
    12 team H2H pts

    2 RP spots and 2 P spots
    have janssen, hoover and farq right now (loaded up on sp’s)

    • EK says:
      (link)

      @EK: or pick up santos to handcuff?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @EK: hunter gets you stats now. Handcuff later if need be.

  52. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
    (link)

    you’re the only person i’ve seen saying thornton over kelley. you have some sort of info i’m not aware of? also i thought you earlier in holds post had kelley ranked higher for holds.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: because he has experience if something happened to Robertson he would prolly get the nod. Kelley will get more holds.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
        (link)

        @Smokey: makes sense. I grabbed Kelley in quite a few leagues, all but one as holds guy. In the other i also have K-Rob. i have Frieri/K-Rob/Qualls and their handcuffs Crain (i think he’s quite a bit better than Fields or Albers when he gets back from injury)/Kelley/Smith

  53. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    @ Smokey :

    if you had to bet your left nut ,
    who’s gonna get more saves in 2014
    putz or bell ??
    thanking you , in advance .

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
      (link)

      @costaricanchata: i wouldn’t think bell had a shot in hell in getting saves chances with how much better other TB bullpen guys are.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
        (link)

        @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: ah, smokey’s rankings seem to think he would disagree with that above statement. Here’s betting with the way TB plays the math better than (moron based thought teams) ARI they would actually use the better pitcher in that situation (of a Balfour injury). I agree Putz would be saves guy if something happens to Reed. Only reason ARI used groundballer Ziegler last year was Putz was injured.

        • costaricanchata says:
          (link)

          @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow:

          clear as mud .

          you know how this is gonna play out .
          i’ll undoubtedly drop the wrong one .
          that’s a given .

          trouble is , i got a need to stream ,
          and waiting to poll the audience (Grey / kiwi Steve)
          and going with the double-reverse (should they agree)
          seems like a waste of time ,
          since the 1st guy i want is pitching on the 2nd of april .

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @costaricanchata: I think Bell in a perfectly messed up clospacalypse. Reason is Gibson like Zeigler more than Putz I think. Bell would get the nod over Peralta.

      • costaricanchata says:
        (link)

        @Smokey:

        so , you and Aubrey are in agreement .
        that magoo guy (maddon , not the commenter)
        scares the hell out of me .
        no telling what he’s apt to do .

        • Smokey

          Smokey says:
          (link)

          @costaricanchata: he is smarter than us all. Crazy good manager as a getting the most out if his guys.

  54. chiropaul says:
    (link)

    who is more likely to get the holds now and the most by years end for Balt Gausman or o’day??

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @chiropaul: they don’t even know Gausman’s role yet, and he’s going minors, so i’d guess the established 8th inning man gets the most.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @chiropaul: O’Day.

  55. pager24 says:
    (link)

    I got a ton of SP due to RP going crazy early. Would you do Matt Moore for Soria?
    Thanks!

    also, i don’t know why everyone is so upset with the new tags?? i guess people have a fear of change? Honestly i don’t read for the category names… i read for the info which is more than often right and much early than other sites. Keep up the good work!

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @pager24: if Moore is your sp 3 or lower yea. Thanks for the kind words.

  56. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    with RW/RL/ K/BB/ holds/ double plays as extra cats which is better
    cotts/burton/j.smith/kelley?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: exactly as you have them. Cotts has enough funkiness for smokey to like.

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Smokey: yahoo is bunch of fools, having cotts with almost no projections at all. b.s. eh, helps me out anyway. if you look those 4 guys up to see which one to pickup, cotts is like 30 slots lower than rest, if not more.

        • Smokey

          Smokey says:
          (link)

          @goodfold2: they aren’t awful just update there stuff slower. If cotts doesn’t get 7 plus wins this year is be surprised.

          • goodfold2 says:
            (link)

            @Smokey: wins/holds/crazy k/bb and k/9. i’m good with all of them. cotts, along with ogando named 8th inning guys like a week ago, i thought. not only that, those sites have PAID workers with best software that can be bought, one would think.

            • Smokey

              Smokey says:
              (link)

              @goodfold2: that’s why you come here

            • goodfold2 says:
              (link)

              @goodfold2: use guys are like if the best lawyers in the world went pro bono.

  57. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Hey Smokey. Your new categories don’t bother me. Better things to waste my energy on. 2 questions:

    Better grab for a possible Hold tomorrow – Paco, Alex Torres, Thayer or Vincent?

    Also, I drafted Peralta in a Holds league. Is Bell going to get in his way?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @SteveNZ: Tell me about it. Cashners home era was like 5th best last year. That in itself is enough for me to gamble in a padres reliever Vincent or Thayer. I think bell gets a little in the way but not enough. Tons of chances in the TB pen.

  58. fausto says:
    (link)

    Who would have thought a closer report could get all these internetters soooo worked up? I personally enjoy the closer reports. Makes my life easier. Maybe consider making it a daily thing….or make a closer-O-matic that goes along with hitter-tron….im betting the annoyed readers paid $20 for chapman and $3 for The Latroy-minator and need some kleenex for multiple reasons. …. Keep up the good work.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @fausto: thanks.

  59. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
    (link)

    with news delabar moves to 8th him or cotts in holds/RW/K/9 and K/BB league?

  60. chisoxx22 says:
    (link)

    Fernando Rodney has had a terrible spring, you trust him over Nate Jones in a roto 5×5?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @chisoxx22: slightly only cause white sox were dragging their feet

      • chisoxx22 says:
        (link)

        @Smokey:

        Both are available as well as tommy hunter who was just named closer

  61. Longbeachyo says:
    (link)

    Hey, who do you like more? K-rod or Lindstrom?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Longbeachyo: k rod, though both are not long for the job unless I’m completely missing something.

  62. los locos says:
    (link)

    drop Henderson santos, axford, Rodney or street. or just hold.

    another league do I drop jones for soria?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @los locos: I’m not a fan of dropping closers. Gotta be someone else to drop. Hold on first

  63. Ron says:
    (link)

    F-Rod or Valverde?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:
      (link)

      @Ron: valverde. No real option on mets to even contimplate even closing. Parnell is basically dunzo and Roenicke is just mad at Henderson cause he was ineffective during ST.

  64. brett says:
    (link)

    Smokey,

    Need some help in a 12 team daily roto league we have a category for holds and another one for saves. We play 2 p, 5 sp, 3 rp.

    My staff is Ogando, Melancon, B Wilson, Rosenthal, Veras, Strasberg, Liriano, Gray, Salazar, Moore, T Ross, Smiley.

    Do I cut any of these guys for Valverde, Lindstrom or K Rod? I would consider ogando, but his SP eligibility could be valuable as it could allow me to play 6 relievers vs the normal 5 some point down the road. I usually go for saves not holds so I am looking for some feedback.

    Thanks

Comments are closed.